Raining Dust and Gold
by bluejanes
Summary: Being reborn as Lily Evans' younger sister definitely has its merits, but that's completely overshadowed by the fact that the First Wizarding War is going to start in nine years. And she'll be damned if she lets her sister die. SI/OC fic.
1. Lost in skies of powdered gold

***I don't own _Harry Potter_.***

 ***Credit to chapter titles goes to Of Monsters and Men***

* * *

When she opened her eyes, she wasn't sure what to think. After all, she was pretty sure that she had just died a few moments ago.

Large bright blobs of light entered her vision, and everything else was a smudgy blur of grey and pale shades of other colors. A sharp, deep red suddenly entered her field of vision and she blinked hard, enamored by the clearest color she had seen in the short few seconds of what she had experienced.

A jolt ran through her body. Why the hell was she suddenly nearly blind?

"Lily, Petunia, this is your new little sister, Zinnia." A soft and feminine voice stated, with an undertone of pride and adoration. Distantly, she could feel arms holding her; warm, firm arms. Loving arms.

She blinked. Stared. And then ever so slowly lowered her gaze to her hands.

The hands were tiny. The hands were chubby. The hands were those of a baby's. Those hands were not hers.

It felt like time had stopped and the world had ceased to exist as she stared at those hands with an intense amount of focus. She felt strange, disoriented; like she was there but she didn't have a body. But somehow, she was there.

The arms around her shifted and she vaguely recognized the uncomfortably fresh smell that belonged specifically to hospitals.

Sounds, sights, smells, people, and everything ohgod around her disappeared as a crazy, sudden realization struck her with all the force of its insanity- _ohgod_. _She was a fucking baby._

Panic seeped through her veins like ice water but she stayed quiet, repressing her rising hysteria and instead choosing to bask in the gentle warmth that surrounded her. It was unfamiliar yet strong, and she couldn't help but like the feeling. It masked the overwhelming confusion threatening to send her into a fit of screaming and kicking and lots of violence and—

-She had no idea what was going on.

— small squeal of joy broke the peaceful atmosphere, and she turned her head towards the sounds.

The tiny red blob, which she now presumed to be one of her "sisters", was being held in the arms of a much taller and masculine blur, with a smaller, blonde blob by standing by his side.

She glanced up at the woman holding her. Who were they? An aura of happiness and pure love emanated through the air, and she frowned with a strange sort of puzzlement—a cold, yet scared sort of thing.

It was the kind of confusion that chilled to the bones, because she knew something was so, very wrong, and a part of her knew what was going on, even if she didn't want to know.

(She had died, and now she had been reborn again.)

Sometimes, she couldn't help but wonder why this was her life-lives, now.

As the people crowded around her and jabbered to each other (though the red-headed one couldn't really speak too coherently yet) she considered her situation.

It was a strange feeling to be dead and alive.

The swiftness of her death, the single, resounding heartbeat of the moment when she knew she was about to die echoed through her and she felt an involuntary shudder chill her body.

( _She was_ dead. _Dead as a fucking doorknob.)_

And now—and now—she felt the new life thrumming through her veins even though she had just died only moments ago.

God, there were a whole slew of expletives she could string out right now, but none of them would even come close to expressing her situation.

It hurt, because she knew her brother and mother were dead, and she was here, alive and well, albeit in another body; and she would _never see them again_. And, fuck, she was dead and alive and dead and—oh, what the hell did she know?

What was this life even supposed to be?

She wasn't even sure what she wanted—she didn't fucking care about these strangers around her; these strangers who expected her to be their daughter, "Zinnia". She wasn't Zinnia and she sure as hell wasn't their daughter. But she was _alive._

Silently, she snorted to herself with self-deprecating humor. She sounded like a broken record, continuously questioning if she was dead or alive. But the scary part was, she didn't even know.

* * *

Well, it was official now. She'd survived and it had already been a few days and she was 99% sure she was alive.

And that was the problem.

Being alive was great—in a larger sense—she'd been too young when she'd died and now she was given another chance at life. But would it be alright to live on as someone else? Could she even live with a new family after she'd just gotten ripped out of her old one? Who was she? She wasn't Zinnia but she didn't even know if she was herself anymore.

Every single day, countless questions and thoughts filled her head, and the people around her were oblivious to her internal torment. After all, she was only a baby, and babies were supposed to be, well, stupid.

The only things she could really do right now were eat, sleep, shit, cry, and make random noises. Oh, and let's not forget the best part-stare at the same fucking walls she'd been staring at for the past few days.

She'd already left what she assumed was the hospital, and now she was in someone else's home. And she was in a crib. In a room. By herself. Joy.

The woman—who was Zinnia's mother-always came in and fed her and talked to her but it was so, so boring. There were even two little girls who came to visit her every once in a while but she really wasn't getting enough human interaction to remain sane.

So now there were only her dilemmas to tackle: Who the fuck was she, what the fuck was she doing here, and more importantly, where the fuck was the t.v.?.

(She was _bored,_ damn it.)

(Also, who in their right mind named all three of their daughters after _flowers_? She could already feel all the bullies in her older years.)

...okay, she admitted it. She was bitter and angry and everything annoyed her and she was confused and she just wanted to go home.

So why, _why_ was she stuck here, where everyone dressed like they were from the 1960s and she couldn't even find a goddamn t.v.

The more she thought about it, the more furious she got. She'd never asked for this; she'd never asked for an afterlife or rebirth. All she wanted was to be with her family and have nothing to worry about. She was a simple gal; that was all she asked for.

But no, the universe had to fuck her over and make everything overly complicated and miserable.

Grimacing, she shifted as much as her barely developed limbs would allow her in her really comfortable crib and tried to ignore the throbbing migraine currently invading her head.

It was as nice and peaceful as it could get for all of three seconds before the door suddenly slammed open with a loud bang; doorknob slamming into the wall. She winced. That was gonna leave a mark.

"Hey!" A loud, obnoxious voice resounded throughout the room. She shifted her eyes to see a tiny blonde head quickly approaching her crib. _Ah, shit._

The little girl, Petunia, as she'd learned, was what she liked to call a brat. Overly noisy, demanding, self-centered, and irritating. Kinda like a fly that just wouldn't leave you alone.

She—Zinnia (for godssake she was just going to call herself Zinnia to save herself all the mental angst and identity crises)—tried to roll over to the corner as far away from the blonde menace as possible.

A tiny, flailing hand reached up through the cribs right as Zinnia reached the edge of the crib. She heaved a mental sigh. _Crisis averted_. She did _not_ need those gross, highly volatile hands coming anywhere near her delicate baby body.

(She'd seen Petunia pick her nose, eat her boogers, and destroy a glass vase all in the same minute.)

"Play with me!" Screamed Petunia at the small, defenseless, unresponsive baby (otherwise called Zinnia). Zinnia ignored her shrill voice as best she could but it only worsened her already aching migraine.

Petunia frowned at Zinnia's lack of reply and slammed the crib bars as best she could with her four year old hands. "Play!" She shrieked.

Zinnia didn't want to play. She didn't want to be anywhere near this blonde monster. She just wanted to be left alone.

She tried to say "fuck off", but couldn't, so she decided to her mouth and started to cry and wail as loud as she could.

(It was the first time since her rebirth that she'd cried.)

As if on cue, Petunia's parents came rushing in, for some reason, looking relieved, and the mother rushed to pick Zinnia up.

"Oh thank god," the mother breathed to her husband while rocking Zinnia, "I thought there was something wrong with her since she never cried."

The man smiled, voice tinged with joy. "It's alright; everything is gonna be alright."

The woman's face was ablaze with elation as she leaned down towards Zinnia. "Did you hear that, Zinnia? Everything's going to be alright. Shh, shhh." She smoothed Zinnia's forehead with a gentle hand and Zinnia found herself leaning into the touch.

She'd missed this. Affection and love and happiness; actually having a _family._

(They weren't her family yet, were they? But they could be.)

Finally, she stopped crying—when had she started crying real tears?—and the woman placed her down into the crib with care. She kissed her forehead; long, red hair tickling Zinnia's face, and whispered, "Sweet dreams, my dear". There was a faint fragrance that reminded her of fresh laundry as the woman pulled away. For some reason, it was overwhelmingly familiar and it smelled like home.

Zinnia yawned, feeling more tired than usual, and felt a soft tingle in her chest before her heavy eyelids finally slid closed, lulling her into a deep sleep.

* * *

Three years passed and Zinnia found herself falling in love with the family raising her. She couldn't help it. They were like termites, infesting the wood around her heart and she finally, grudgingly accepted that maybe, just maybe, she had a new family.

It felt like a betrayal to her old family, but Zinnia loved her new family—British accents and all. Some of the words may have been hard to pick up but she was finding this a lot more interesting than the American accent she'd been accustomed to speaking.

(It was kind of like pretending to be someone you really aren't, and then slowly becoming that someone. Although at times, she still slipped up and forgot to use a British accent. Good thing she didn't speak much.)

Her memories lingered in her mind, ghosting on the edges of her thoughts, but she could handle the pain, the loss. Grief was something that she'd gotten accustomed to in her previous life, and it'd taught her to be strong.

She would never forget her old family, but it was time to move on. It would always hurt, but she was good at stomping down her feelings until they were nothing but specks of dust left on an empty table.

She was Zinnia now, and Zinnia Evans had a mother, a father, and two older sisters. Not a mother and a younger brother.

But here's the thing: the parents of Zinnia Evans weren't stupid. And Zinnia wasn't exactly an Oscar winning actress herself.

She was… weird. She wasn't normal.

She was quiet, bitter, sarcastic, and most definitely not naive or innocent like a young child her age should be.

And it was even harder to pretend she _was_ normal when everything around her just felt so… unnormal.

The life here; it was completely different than anything she'd ever experienced. Things she'd been used to in her past life weren't there, and things that _were_ here were entirely unfamiliar. Damn it, even the clothes were strange.

And her parents-her parents, they noticed this. They'd stopped trying to make her wear stockings and dresses all the time, and Zinnia mostly just ran around barefoot. She was lucky that her parents didn't uphold the ideal feminine image too strictly.

But they had their suspicions. Zinnia was a child of the twenty first century, and she would never be able to really become a child of the 1960s. From the way she always frowned in distaste at the small television sitting innocently in the living room, to the way she begged them to buy trousers and not skirts, it was all blatantly obvious.

Julie and Max Evans were not stupid. And Zinnia wouldn't delude herself for one second by thinking they were. They just loved her enough not to say anything about it. They'd probably figured that Zinnia wasn't one to talk about her feelings when asked and were waiting for her to one day go to them and tell them of her own volition.

 _One day_ , Zinnia promised herself. One day, she'd tell them. But not now.

And then, things somehow got a lot crazier.

It all started out rather simply: A typical day in the Evans household, with Petunia off in primary school, Lily and Zinnia playing around in the house (or lazing around in their shared room, as Zinnia was prone to doing), Max away at work, and Julie taking care of all the housework.

Lily had been trying in vain to make Zinnia play princess with her until she'd given up and dragged the two of them outside to their backyard. Now Lily was four, and an adventurous spirit, so she'd somehow ended up balancing on the edge of the small, yellow plastic slide that Max and Julie had gotten the sisters for Christmas while Zinnia tried to doze off under the shade of a big oak tree. Zinnia wasn't really paying attention until she heard a yelp that sounded way too much like Lily and jerked upright, her gaze quickly snapping to the source of the sound.

Lily was currently trying not to fall off the slide as she tilted precariously on the edge-one foot dangling in the open air and the other just barely hooked on the slide.

Horror filled Zinnia as her heart nearly stopped in her chest, and she quickly got to her feet, running over to Lily. "Lily!" She cried, "Don't move, I'll go get mum!"

"No!" Lily shrieked, flailing helplessly with one hand and the other clutching the slide in a vice grip. "I'm scared." She whimpered, and Zinnia immediately reached forward, futilely, before remembering she was three years old and not even tall enough to reach the sink without a stepstool.

" _Please_. Just stay calm, I'll get mum, it'll be okay, just wait—"

"—No!" And in her panic, Lily accidentally lost the grip that was keeping her safely attached to the slide.

At this very moment, Zinnia felt her heart stop in her chest, and time seemed to freeze.

And then—Lily was floating. Lily. Was. Floating.

In mid air.

Zinnia couldn't breathe, much less speak, and she just stared as Lily slowly descended to the ground, safe and sound.

As soon as Lily's feet touched the floor, she turned to Zinnia with a look of excitement and awe on her face. "I flied!" She screamed ecstatically, "I wished that I wouldn't get hurt and then I flied!"

With her whole mind in shock, the only reply Zinnia had was, "It's flew, not flied."

"Yeah! I flied!" Lily grinned wider than the horizon and flew at Zinnia, grabbing her hands and rapidly shaking them up and down.

Zinnia just stood there numbly as Lily babbled continuously into her face, not really seeing or hearing anything.

 _Holy motherfucking shit._ Lily had… magic? Lily was-Lily was her sister and she'd just floated.

Lily Evans.

…

And then it all somehow suddenly made sense.

Lily Evans. Harry Potter. Magic.

It couldn't be a coincidence if all the points were lining up.

She was in the world of _Harry fucking Potter_. And to make things better, he hadn't even _fucking been born yet and she was the sister of his mother and somehow his aunt and what the actual fuck was going on._

Her knees suddenly felt like jello and she sunk to the ground, still staring blankly at nothing.

How could this even be real? Maybe she was in a coma and this was just a really fucked up dream. Maybe this was a punishment or a trial she had to go through before she could pass on to the afterlife. Maybe—maybe—

—maybe it _was_ real. Zinnia was living in a completely different time period and country. Which logically, didn't make any sense, because wasn't the flow of time supposed to be linear? And now she was some kind of time traveller in a different dimension.

"Zin? Zinnia? Hullo?" Lily waved a hand in front of her face.

"Urgf." Was all Zinnia could manage from her non functioning throat.

She was talking to a goddamn legend. The little girl who would grow up and go to Hogwarts and fall in love with James Potter and-

—Shit. _Shit_.

 _Lily was going to die_.

Suddenly, the world was too big and small all at once and the future looked way too vast and uncertain.

God. What the fuck was she going to do?

She didn't get born into another family just to lose it.

And—she—she'd wasted three years. Three fucking years. Three precious years complaining and pitying herself for her situation when she really should have been planning and learning more about the world around her. When she should have been protecting her family.

God, she was so, so stupid. So _stupid_.

Aching pain choked her throat and she felt the corners of her eyes getting wet.

 _So stupid. So useless._

Why hadn't she seen this before?

 _Stupid_.

A strangled sob burst from her throat and she buried her face in her legs, wrapping her arms around herself and pressing her eyes into her knees so hard she wouldn't be surprised if she went blind.

 _Stupid stupid stupid._

Everything was overwhelming her and her feelings were bursting from her chest and she couldn't stop them. She was so stupid and lonely and lost and confused.

It was 1963 in England and she'd just been alive in 2015 in America and technology was different, fashion was different, people were different, culture was different, _everything was fucking different and she was fucking stupid and useless and nothing was making sense_.

Tears wracked her body and she didn't even notice her mum wrapping an arm around her until she heard Julie's soft, gentle voice.

Her mum's hand smoothed back Zinnia's sweaty hair away from her face. "What's wrong? Can you tell me what happened?" Zinnia tried to open her mouth to say something but all that came out were sobs. "Hey, hey, it's alright." Julie shushed her, pulling Zinnia closer in a comforting embrace. Her arms were warm and safe and Zinnia felt loved.

Zinnia's throat burned and her nose was running and her eyes throbbed, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except that she was going to change things and she was _not_ going to let anyone she loved get hurt.

Family was everything to her and she wasn't about to lose them again.

* * *

Zinnia had one goal in her life and she was going to do everything she could to achieve it.

It would help, she mused, if she had magic as well. Then she could keep an eye on Lily at Hogwarts and protect her during the war.

Not having magic was a setback she didn't want to face, so Zinnia decided she'd have to take extreme measures to see if she had magic. If she was to save Lily, she'd have to have magic and go to Hogwarts; so she was willing to bet her safety on this.

The next day, Zinnia asked Julie to take her to the library, and because Julie was already used to her reading habits (which was pretty much devouring as many books as she could in one sitting before she was pulled away by Lily and Petunia, or food) she found nothing out of the ordinary.

When they arrived at the library, her mother let Zinnia run off alone to find the books she wanted to read while she looked for some books for Lily and Petunia—but mainly Lily, who was the other bookworm in the family.

She managed to get a pile of books that would be helpful, but she tottered around with the weight of them.

The stairs to the bottom floor where her mum was loomed ominously in front of her, and she stared down at the bottom, her head already spinning with the thought of what she was about to do.

 _This is literally the stupidest idea I've had in years_ , she thought to herself dryly.

She glanced down again, and she clenched her books tighter, feeling butterflies in her stomach.

 _It's okay_ , Zinnia tried to console herself. _The worst I'll get is a few broken bones and possibly a cracked skull-maybe even a snapped spine. No biggie._

Her heart clenched with fear, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to readying herself for what she was about to do.

And then she took a step forward, hands trembling, threw her books onto the ground with a loud and decisive thump, and jumped off the stairs.

 _Please, please, please,_ she begged, and by the time she opened her eyes, she was at the bottom of the stairs, safe and sound, save her aching bum.

Adrenaline was pumping through her veins, and her eyes were wide with the sheer incredulity of the situation and her almost-death.

Her heart stuttered in her chest and she felt her body relax with relief as she realized that she was, in fact, safe.

After the initial shock wore off, she grinned wildly. Excitement pumped through her veins, and her head was alive with exhilaration and racing thoughts.

She had magic.

The stairs had been like an inflatable bouncy house; and her books had actually appeared right next to her.

It was a brilliant thought, one that opened her up to endless possibilities, and she couldn't help the breathless giggle that escaped her.

It felt so unreal, but it was real.

Padding quietly toward her mother, she dragged her towards a shelf filled with books about spirituality and the East Asian ideas of chi and energy. It'd be a good place to start before she could get any books from Diagon Alley.

Julie looked at her and raised an eyebrow-Zinnia's taste in books were quite strange for a child her age. Zinnia just grinned happily, and her mother laughed and started pulling the books that she wanted out.

On the car ride home, Zinnia remained quiet as she contemplated accidental magic and the origin of magic.

What was magic? Did it originate in one part of her body, or did it flow throughout her?

If she were to manipulate and concentrate her accidental magic, she'd have to figure out where it came from first.

After settling down and reading a couple of books, she mused over the nature of magic. Was it something to be controlled, or was it already there, ready for her molding?

She tried to activate her accidental magic again, but she couldn't pull up the same feeling as she'd had while she was falling down the stairs.

Maybe a wand was necessary to control her magic, and pinpoint it into a spell. But wands had magical cores, so what did wands really do? Amplify magic?

All these unknowns were making her frustrated and angry, and she really didn't need a headache right now.

After they got home, she brought all of her books with her, making sure to ask her mum to help her carry them, lest she fall and trip on her face.

She had magic. Like Lily. It was an insane thought, but it was a comforting one.

* * *

The stairs had only been the beginning.

Now that Zinnia knew she had magic, she was trying to figure out how she could control her accidental magic. It was like having a shitton of money but not knowing where and how to use it. And as cliche as it sounded, with all its wildness and unpredictability, it was like magic was alive.

She'd noticed that accidental magic usually went along with the person's mental state and emotions. In Lily's case, she used accidental magic all the time. Their parents hadn't really put the pieces together yet, but they'd begun to notice that something strange was going on. Because Lily was so young, her fluctuating emotions helped her use her magic more often. But for Zinnia, she was so used to controlling her emotions that accidental magic wasn't simple in the least.

But everything changed when Zinnia realized that she was somehow having infrequent dreams about the future. Accurate ones.

At first, she'd just thought they were manifestations of her stress and knowledge from the books. Which, to be fair, she didn't remember the exact details of, but she got the gist.

But they'd gotten more and more vivid, until finally, one night, she'd heard the screech of metal against metal ringing in her ears, and seen a car go flying; flipping in the air before landing on the ground with a horrifying, decisive sound. It was the most disgusting thing Zinnia had ever heard in her life, and there was no way to describe it. And then everything went eerily silent.

There was blood, broken glass, twisted metal, and gouged flesh.

Zinnia couldn't breathe, much less move, but she saw the woman's face.

It was her mum's friend, Natalie. And she looked dead.

Zinnia had woken up, her mouth tasting of blood and her hands stiff and cold.

Her breath had come in ragged gasps and she couldn't get the image out of her mind.

At the sound, Lily had woken up, rubbing her eyes blearily to look at Zinnia. "What's wrong?" She'd asked.

In a strangled voice, Zinnia had answered, "Nightmare."

Lily had stayed silent, not saying anything, and padded across the room, her bare feet making quiet sounds against the floor, until she'd gotten to Zinnia's bed. And then she calmly climbed in, pulled the covers over her, and wrapped her small arms around Zinnia.

Zinnia had never felt so thankful for Lily.

A week later, Julie came home, eyes rimmed red and throat scratchy. She didn't say anything, and Max had only said "Something very bad happened to your mum's friend. So be nice to her, okay?". But the funeral came and the whole Evans family went, and Zinnia realized her nightmare wasn't just a nightmare.

Max and Julie had pulled them aside after that, trying to explain death and funerals as best they could to a four year old, a five year old, and a seven year old.

It was the first exposure Lily and Petunia had to death and it wouldn't be Lily's last.

Predictably, Zinnia freaked the fuck out.

She'd somehow had a prophetic dream, which wasn't supposed to be part of the whole witch package, if memory served her right.

There was a possibility that she was a Seer, but she was a fucking Muggle. She wasn't supposed to have the bloodline of a Seer.

And _someone had died_.

It was official- the world was insane.

 _She_ was insane.

And magic was fucking scary. It wasn't all fun and games-it was also death and destruction and tragedy.

Zinnia wasn't sure if she was ready for that responsibility, but for her family, _for Lily_ , she had to be.

* * *

In Zinnia's humble opinion, time passed way too fast.

Figuring out how magic wasn't a piece of cake, especially since she lived in a place where magic wasn't even supposed to be real. In fact, no one knew about it, except Lily, who didn't even quite fully understand what was going on. Zinnia hadn't quite gotten around to telling her yet. She needed to know how to control her magic first before she could teach Lily anything.

So she split her time between taking care of her sisters when she could, and trying to become stronger. Strong enough to protect Lily. And she'd have to start teaching Lily sometime soon.

Zinnia was six now, and Lily was in her first year at primary school, which meant that they only had five years before they went to Hogwarts. That definitely wasn't enough time.

And school-she wasn't even going to get started on how much of a waste of time school was.

Children, in short, were fucking annoying.

Lily and Petunia had been annoying in their younger ages- still kinda were, actually. But they were her sisters and they loved her and she loved them so it was fine when she wasn't mad.

They were hard to deal with but they were family. Children by nature, were hard to deal with anyway, so Zinnia wasn't about to go blaming them for throwing temper tantrums when they didn't get what they wanted or when they always, _always_ wanted her to play with them.

But other children? Them she couldn't forgive. They were little shits that she didn't want around her and a lot of them were goddamn bullies.

Plus, they had grubby little hands that tried to grab and push everything, which _hurt_ , and they had no concept of empathy. It was terrible. It was hell.

School was hell. It was full of children and unnecessary homework and lessons of things she'd already learned (except for the fact that they used meters and kilograms here, which was really confusing).

Frankly, Zinnia gave zero fucks about school and it was basically nap time all day every day. Home was for studying and reading about things useful to her, and the nighttime was for practicing magic. So obviously, school was for sleeping.

It only took one day for teachers to realize that they hated her.

* * *

 **A/N: now before any of you send me scathing comments like, "i hate zinnia! She's so terrible!" and etc, let me explain: that's kind of the point. you're not supposed to like her. this isn't a story about a hero. terrible people are people too.**

 **also: this story is being rewritten and i am well aware of its many, many flaws. it was my first story and it was terrible, i'm not gonna lie. and it _still_ may be terrible, but i'm trying, and i'm rewriting, so please, bear with me.**

 **in addition, it may be fairly obvious but zinnia doesn't have the greatest mental health. she often overreacts and puts all the blame on herself, doesn't like people, and is generally a bitter person. she ain't great. she's terrible. and that's how she's gonna be. sorry.**

 **(jumping down the stairs is crazy and is NOT something you should do if you want to know if you have magic but it kinda ties into the whole mental health thing since familyself well-being in zinnia's eyes. and there's a whole bunch more of issues but i'm not opening that can of worms yet)**

 **it also may be obvious that i am in fact, not british, and i can't write like a british person, and i am genuinely sorry that you have to deal with my american bullshit.**

 **anyway, thanks so much to everyone who is reading/read this!**


	2. caught in clouds of silver ropes

Zinnia Evans was perhaps one of the most terrible children Amara Jenkins had the displeasure of teaching.

The young girl had come in like the rest of the 6/7 year olds, and the only thing remarkable about her had been her bright red hair.

So Amara hadn't paid much attention to the girl.

That is, until a week into the school year. After a while, she had begun to notice the girl's antisocial tendencies, as well as her lazy, apathetic, and frankly contrary attitude.

Amara was patient enough to be a primary school teacher and considered herself a fairly kind-hearted person-she loved children and that was her job. But she hated Zinnia Evans. _Hated_ the little brat with all of her being.

"Zinnia." Amara plastered a smile on her face and kneeled down on the floor besides Zinnia's desk. "Why aren't you coloring the apple?"

As usual, Zinnia had a blank expression on her face and completely ignored the question. She laid her head on the desk and decided to take a nap.

The edge of Amara's smile twitched in a spasm-like manner. Her mouth was beginning to ache from the forced expression.

"Zinnia." She cooed through gritted teeth. When the girl didn't answer, she reached over and gently shook her shoulder multiple times, despite the mounting irritation.

Finally, Zinnia lifted her head. " _What_." Her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth was tilted downwards in a menacing manner. She didn't look like a 6 year old and Amara had to stop herself from flinching.

Amara took a deep breath in a vain attempt to calm herself. "Zinnia, why didn't you do the worksheet?"

Zinnia didn't even spare a glance at the empty paper underneath her arms. "Why should I do these fuc-" She paused and then restarted her sentence. "Why should I do these problems when _I already know how_."

Despite the venom in Zinnia's tone, the thing that had horrified Amara the most was the fact that her _six year old student_ had just been about to use the word "fuck". "You-" Really, Amara didn't know what to do anymore. All her attempts at being nice and understanding had amounted to nothing with this _child_ and she was too angry and tired to care. "Can you _really_ do these?" She asked condescendingly.

Zinnia's face twisted into a sneer. "I don't know, can _you_? I'm not sure how qualified you are if you got this job based on _connections_ rather than an actual degree."

Amara's jaw dropped and her face heated with embarrassment. "What?" She may have slept with the principal a few times but that was because they were _dating_. Her job had nothing to do with her love life.

Upon seeing Amara's expression, Zinnia smirked. "It's not like it's a very well-kept secret. Don't you know how many people talk behind your back?" She aimed a mocking grin at Amara.

" _Excuse me_?" In the two years she'd had this job, no one had ever mentioned anything about her and the principal. This was-this was the most horrifying revelation of Amara's life. How many people had come up to her, all friendly smiles and words but had gossiped about her behind her back? Oh lord, did the _parents_ know?

Zinnia's eyes were bitingly cold. "Relax." Her voice was disgustingly sweet. "Principal Miller may be a balding middle-aged man but there's no accounting for taste, right? There's no doubt your relationship is genuine."

Suddenly, Amara wondered how everyone in the school saw her. Was she just some laughingstock? Was she "that teacher who slept with the principal to get the job"?

But-she _loved_ him. She really did. So why was everyone suddenly looking at her like that?

Amara stumbled to her feet, palms sweating. The other children's eyes were wide, judging. They'd once been innocent, sweet. But for some reason, they were all _staring_. Just staring.

Her mind was racing and her heart was thumping and she staggered back to her desk in the front and plopped down unsteadily to her seat.

Was everything just a lie? Had the other teachers only been kind to her because they knew she was dating the principal? Because they wanted to get on their boss' good side? Was everyone laughing at her behind her back? God, if even a six year old girl knew, who knows who else knew?

…How did people even know? Only she and Andrew knew and if it wasn't her…then had Andrew told someone?

The only logical option was him, and it was a betrayal of the highest order.

She felt feverish and dizzy and god, why was her chair so blocky and uncomfortable? Why were the lights so damn bright? Why were those _kids staring at her like that_?

The air was closing in around her and she could breathe-she couldn't breathe-she couldn't-

She jolted out of her chair and ran out the door.

* * *

Julie Evans was a mother of three.

She had three children to raise, nurture, and love.

She didn't like playing favorites, but Lily was the golden child of the trio. She was sweet, fiercely loyal, caring, generous, and intelligent.

It didn't mean that she loved any of her children less, it was just that Lily was a child that was very easy to love.

Petunia was a different story. She was a child that constantly demanded attention and approval. She could be sweet when she wanted to, but most of the time, she was prone to be self-centered and easy to anger. But Julie loved her anyway; loved her first child, the beginning of her joys.

Compared to Petunia, Zinnia was a blessing. But she was too quiet, to independent. Sometimes, Julie didn't feel like a mother.

Sometimes, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Saw the bags under her eyes, saw the calloused hands, saw the tired face.

It didn't look like the Julie she'd once knew.

This Julie was a mother of three, a housewife who'd left her job when she'd gotten pregnant. This Julie had a college education that she didn't need. This Julie had no job, but was a full-time nanny and cleaner. This Julie was somehow always swamped with work and yet never seemed to get any done.

But above all, this Julie was a mother and a mother she would be.

She loved her children, she really did. But she often wondered if other children caused as much trouble as her three daughters did.

Lily was an adventurous spirit and injured herself quite frequently, although Zinnia was usually there to look out for her.

Petunia was brash and had no filter when speaking to others, and parents of other children would complain to Julie about how "Your daughter is bullying my child!" and things of the like.

Zinnia was… surprisingly difficult in school. At home, she was practically the perfect child. She never cried, never fussed, could take care of herself and her sisters, and had a maturity bordering on frightening. Julie had never really had a problem with her. She and Max had always known there was something different about Zinnia, something about her that was too old to be a child. It was because of this that they tried to show their love a bit more, to remind her that she was loved. Julie often wondered if her youngest child was one of those geniuses that had trouble connecting to the world.

So when she was called to school, she'd been ready to defend Petunia, ready to defend her eldest's scathing words, because Petunia had a warm heart underneath all her thorns.

And to her utmost surprise, it was Zinnia sitting in the office, not Petunia.

She went on to listen in shock that Zinnia never did her homework, slept in class all day, disrespected teachers, ignored her peers, and so on and so on.

Julie knew Zinnia was a good child. She loved deeply but subtly, and because Julie was a mother, she noticed everything.

So why, _why_ was Zinnia acting like this?

"And worst of all," Mr. Miller continued, "is that your _daughter_ here, made Miss Tanner quit. And now their class has no teacher. I'm in half a mind to expel her." He spat out the word "daughter" as one would say the word "devil".

Angered, Julie opened her mouth, searching for words. "My daughter is in no way what you have described. What gives you the right—"

"—I have several accounts from children who were in the classroom at the time and they _all_ pointed to your daughter—"

"—You're basing this accusation off the words of _children_?"

"Forget it, mum." Zinnia interrupted her before she could say anything else. "He's just all pissy because Tanner was his illicit lover. And she's never gonna trust him again after this."

And then Julie was truly speechless, because what the _bloody hell_? Miss Tanner was Mr. Miller's lover? Mr. Miller was married, the last time she'd checked. And how did Zinnia know this?

She turned her head to stare at her daughter, conveniently ignoring the red-faced, spluttering man in front of her.

It was then that she realized—she really had no idea what her daughter was thinking.

(Did she even truly know her daughter at all?)

Zinnia's eyes were cold and bored when they met hers, and Zinnia almost looked… cruel in the artificial lighting of the room.

"Zinnia…" She started, but found herself unable to find anything that could accurately describe her feelings and questions at that moment.

Zinnia's eyes lacked the warmth that they usually had. "What? Everyone knows it's true."

" _Get out!_ " Mr. Miller exploded, and stood up, finger shaking with rage, as he pointed to the door.

Still trying to comprehend the past five minutes, Julie quickly gathered herself and apologized to Mr. Miller before dragging Zinnia out the door.

The way home was silent and Julie's mind was racing. She sat Zinnia down at the dinner table. "Zinnia, what was _that_? I thought you were better than this."

Zinnia actually flinched at that, but her face returned to its blank state. "I didn't do anything wrong. I was just telling the truth. And why do I have to go to school? I can just teach myself."

Julie felt a migraine coming. "Zin, dear, you can't be so mean to your teacher and the principal. You have to watch what you say."

"Do I have to go to school?" Zinnia asked, completely ignoring what Julie had just said.

"Zin—"

"I can stay home, right?" Zinnia's tone was hopeful.

"Let's talk about what you did first, alright?"

Zinnia groaned and sunk down a little in her chair. "Mum, I _know_. I'll try to be better, okay? Promise."

Julie had expected this level of impatience from Petunia, but certainly not Zinnia.

"Zinnia, you can't do this anymore, okay?"

"Yes, I know mum, I promise." The rush in Zinnia's words betrayed her frustration.

Julie sighed. It was rare that she ever saw her youngest daughter like this. "Alright, but when your dad comes home we'll have to have another talk about this."

Zinnia's forehead dropped onto the table with a loud thump.

The next day, Julie opened a letter detailing Zinnia's expulsion from the school.

She'd never seen her daughter look so happy.

* * *

Everyone knew Zinnia Evans but no one _knew_ her. She was infamously mean and there were rumors about her being evil—she'd made Miss Tanner quit. David knew that for a fact—he'd been there.

He, like all the rest of the school, hated her and feared her.

Miss Tanner had been a kind teacher who always smelled nice and was always smiling. David liked her. But Zinnia Evans had chased her away.

She'd said something that day; something that David didn't quite understand but knew had something to do with Mr. Miller. Later, he'd asked his mum about it, only to have her look surprised and not explain anything.

The good thing was, Zinnia had been expelled, and everyone knew that was _bad._ Possibly one of the worst things that could happen to a kid. So obviously Zinnia was the worst.

And David had the perfect name for her: Creepy Red.

Zinnia had two other sisters that went to their school—Lily and Petunia. Lily was one of the nicest people in the school and she had tons of friends. Petunia was a bit of a bully and no one dared to mess with her. He couldn't believe they were the sisters of Creepy Red. She was probably adopted.

(David didn't know exactly what that meant but he knew that it was a term for kids that no one wanted.)

"Hey, look everyone, it's Creepy Red!" David jeered and pointed at Zinnia, who was calmly waiting by the tree for her sisters. Everyone around him immediately made disgusted sounds and David grinned with triumph. Mrs. Evans brought her every time she came to pick up Lily and Petunia, which meant she had to stink up the area with her weirdness every day.

Zinnia didn't even spare him a glance and ignored him.

David's blood was boiling. Zinnia was a _freak_. She couldn't ignore him; that wasn't allowed. He stepped closer to her and in a fit of anger, shoved her, hard. "Go away, freak! No one likes you!"

He felt a rush of satisfaction as he watched Zinnia stumble, caught off balance.

But before he could do or say anything else, someone grabbed his shoulder, jerking him around.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Lily Evans was standing right behind him, grip on his shoulder bordering painful.

David's eyes widened with hurt and his hands clenched into fists by his side. Lily was nice—she never yelled at anyone, ever. So why was she yelling at him? It wasn't his fault her sister was creepy and evil. "You're just as stupid as your sister!"

Lily's eyes narrowed and David flinched, because they were green fire. "My sister isn't stupid! Leave her alone and stop being a bully."

A group of kids had gathered around them and David could feel their eyes on him. Anger and embarrassment curdled in his gut and he lifted his hand, not quite thinking, ready to lash out.

"Oi." Zinnia's hand caught his wrist and her face was stone cold but brimming with fury. It wasn't hot fire, like Lily's. _Cold fire_. He thought, and ripped his hand from her grasp.

—Or so he thought.

He couldn't move. His mind was moving, but his body was stuck. His heart started to beat faster, because he _couldn't move_. What if he was stuck like this forever? What if he turned into a statue and birds pooped on him?

He tried moving, desperately trying to shove his body in a direction; any direction. He tried and tried, but he couldn't move. His heart was pounding so quickly and his mind was spinning wildly, but somehow, his body was frozen and he was going to cry and scream; he _wanted_ to cry and scream, but he _just couldn't_.

He'd never felt more terrified in his life.

He lost sense of time and place and stood there, trying to move, trying to do something, anything. But nothing happened. He was frozen. It felt like years passing him by. Like getting suspended in a nightmare but not waking up no matter how hard you try.

Until finally, it was like a breath rushing out of him, and all of a sudden, he was awake. His body collapsed to the ground in a crumple of relief and he could feel tears leaking out of his eyes.

And then he was sobbing like no tomorrow.

He was sobbing until his mum came and gathered him in his arms, desperately asking what had happened and looking around in anger, shouting who had dared do this to her child.

David didn't care. He didn't care about anything because he'd been stuck and now he was free.

He _hated_ Zinnia and Lily Evans.

* * *

Lily Evans was a curious child. She loved to know about things, understand them. And she wanted to understand herself. She was sure that something was not quite right. Things happened that weren't supposed to happen.

Like how David had frozen in the middle of their fight.

He'd just… stopped moving. Like he couldn't move. She couldn't forget the look of pure terror in his eyes—like when you're cornered and you know there's no way out, but you're still desperately trying.

And he'd been crying after that. Outright sobbing in the middle of everyone, and she'd felt horrible. Had it been her fault? She didn't want to hurt anyone.

But she'd also seen the look on her sister's face. For some reason, she'd looked almost satisfied.

Zin had always been different. Everyone in their family knew that. But people were all different, and Lily loved her sister. Even if sometimes she wasn't really like a younger sister.

Lily knew she'd always love her sisters, no matter what.

So she ventured to ask Zin about David. Zinnia knew a lot of things, and she'd taught Lily all of her schoolwork already. Mum said Zinnia was a "genius" but Lily wasn't quite sure what that meant. Whenever mum said that, Zin always denied it, saying she knew a lot for a kid but not enough to be a genius. She confused Lily sometimes.

"Zin, why did David look like he was frozen?" Lily was hanging off the edge of her bed, tangling a few strings of yarn together absentmindedly.

Zinnia looked up from her book very slowly and stared at Lily as if she were contemplating something very important. Finally, she said, "That's because I froze him. With magic."

And in that one moment, Lily found that she had a million questions and emotions running through her, but there were no answers. " _What_?"

Zinnia closed her book shut and crossed the room to sit on the floor beside Lily's bed. "It was magic. Like how you have magic."

"Is it—is it like how I do things when I get mad or scared?" Lily's voice was trembling, but she hardly noticed it. How long had Zin known about magic?

As if reading her mind, Zinnia answered, "Yeah. I've known about magic for a while but I could never control it, which is why I didn't tell you about it. I want to teach you, but I can't teach you if I don't know how to do it."

That was a lot to process. Lily was seven and she was considered smart in her class, but there were still a lot of things she didn't understand. "Okay." She eventually said, accepting whatever had just happened. She blinked a few times and felt her face bloom with excitement; a grin stretching too wide for her cheeks. "We have magic!"

"Yeah." Zin's smile was small but fond.

"That's so cool!" Gushed Lily, cheeks flushing with anticipation. "There's a lot we could do now—it'll be really fun to play with Tuney!"

Zin laughed; a rare thing. Lily found herself thinking of gentle winds on a soft spring evening.

And then she sobered, remembering how terrified David had been. "Does magic hurt people?"

There was a silence, and Zin let out a long, tired sigh. "Lils, lots of things in this world can hurt us and help us. It just depends on the way we use it. For example, if I took a spell that watered plants and started drowning someone with the water, it wouldn't be such a nice spell, wouldn't it? So yes, magic can hurt people, but I know you won't hurt anyone, Lily. Don't worry about it."

Focusing her gaze toward the tangle of yarn she was clutching, Lily asked quietly, "Do you regret hurting that boy?"

Zinnia stared. "No, Lily, I didn't regret it. He was going to hurt you. There weren't any major injuries, he was just scared. And he won't bully us anymore."

Lily was uncertain. "But still…" she trailed off worriedly. "Never mind." She said, shaking her head and turning her attention back to the yarn she was holding.

Zinnia could be mean, and Lily knew that. She would sometimes say things that hurt people, which often included something she called sarcasm, which Lily had only just begun to understand.

But Zinnia wasn't a bad person. Lily would never believe her to be bad. Zinnia _loved_ them. And Lily loved her.

Bad people were people that always hurt others for no reason. And that wasn't her sister.

* * *

In all honesty, Petunia was a pitiful child. She was the only one of her sisters who didn't have magic, and she wasn't especially bright or charismatic.

She was continuously being compared to Lily, which their parents often unknowingly did.

And when Zinnia looked at Petunia, she felt so damn lucky that she had magic.

Petunia was a in a delicate stage of her life that required constant attention and validation, but it was _a lot_. Their parents had three kids, and that didn't allot the time that Petunia needed.

Zinnia could feel Petunia drifting farther away from her and Lily, which of course, was actually natural. At this stage, her younger sisters weren't "cool" enough for her and her friends.

But Lily always tried to include Petunia in everything they did, no matter how contrary Petunia could be.

It wasn't like Zinnia didn't like Petunia. She was annoying, but Zinnia did love her as a sister. She had her caring moments, thought they were rare. And Zinnia appreciated that. The funny thing was, even though Lily cared more about having Petunia in the loop at all times, Petunia was sometimes nicer to Zinnia.

She knew that it was because Zinnia wasn't the "golden child" like Lily was, and therefore wasn't a source of jealousy. Petunia probably pitied her as much as she pitied Petunia, ironically enough.

Well, Zinnia didn't _want_ Petunia to hate them. But it was hard to change her mind, especially since Petunia was stubborn and always believed she was right. Zinnia was kind of just waiting for her to grow out of it—as unlikely for it to happen as it was.

So she just concentrated her time on teaching Lily, because hey, Lily was the one with the foreboding death sentence, not Petunia.

"Here. I'll teach you what I know about magic. What we're using is accidental magic, and it's mostly connected to our emotions and the situation we're in." She went on to explain in the simplest way possible, and to her relief, Lily was nodding and asking questions that showed she understood. They went around the house, looking for objects to practice on.

Zinnia had a vague memory that Lily was able to make a flower open and close in the future, so she dragged them into the garden and scoured the place for plants they could use. Lily had been disappointed by the lack of result at first, but she had a determination stronger than a black hole's gravitational forces, so she kept trying. Their efforts were fruitless, but they tried day by day for results.

Zinnia was at the end of the line, and she felt like ripping a tree from its roots and maybe throwing it at Hogwarts, because fuck Hogwarts and fuck magic. She was frustrated and sleep deprived and angry, and her dreams weren't getting any better.

Her terrible were flashes of scenes that would happen, and she was pretty sure she'd seen a young Severus Snape in one of them. But she vaguely remembered that Trewlaney had been a shit Seer most of the time, which was strange, because Zinnia was able to focus her dreams and didn't tell prophecies but instead saw images from the future.

Quantum physics explored the possibilities of other worlds, and Zinnia was beginning to consider that she'd been stuck into a parallel world where magic existed and J.K Rowling's novel was real. Maybe when the knowledge she'd gained from one world passed into this one, it had merged with her magic into some sort of Seer ability, because this knowledge technically could not exist. Her theory sounded pretty plausible to her, and she accepted it for now. Once she'd formed that theory, her mind started furiously churning out different ideas and she struggled to put together some coherent thoughts.

What if her magic was actually within her entire body, but flowed through different mediums? From what she could remember of the books, Trewlaney'd had an "Inner Eye". Maybe her Inner Eye was her brain, which created her knowledge of the future and transferred that into her dreams. Maybe she couldn't concentrate her accidental magic because it was all being concentrated into her Seer abilities. Accidental magic was somehow related to emotions, and since she pretty much freaked out over the future and stressed over what she was going to do every day, her magic was flowing into her Seer abilities to try and solve her problem.

 _God_ damn _if magic isn't the biggest piece of bullshit ever to exist,_ she thought wearily. If she was right, that just meant she'd have to adjust the way her magic flowed and properly balance it. It was going to be a long five years before she went to Hogwarts.

* * *

And then before she knew it, Lily was turning nine, and time was starting to run out.

Not surprisingly, Lily had mastered accidental magic a lot faster than Zinnia. Children's minds were naturally resilient and flexible, which had really helped. While Zinnia was still struggling to move household objects, Lily was making flowers bloom and making chairs fly as easily as one would blow a feather.

Zinnia, surprisingly, didn't feel jealous of Lily. She was mostly just angry and frustrated with herself, because _why couldn't she ever do anything right_? But at least Lily had the capabilities to protect herself, and Zinnia was going to have to make sure she worked even harder so when Lily was unable to protect herself, she'd be there.

It was ironic how Zinnia and Lily looked extremely similar but were almost complete opposites. Zinnia was actually grateful she looked like Lily and had more elegant features; it made her seem delicate and helpless, and it gave her an advantage because she really wasn't.

The only difference in physical appearance between them was that Lily had brilliant, emerald eyes while Zinnia had darker jade eyes.

Petunia envied Lily's eyes, they were beautiful and memorable, while hers were more of a duller cornflower blue. People always complimented Lily's eyes, which annoyed Petunia immensely, and Zinnia suspected that was the beginning of the fallout the sisters would later have.

Though she didn't want to see Petunia become such a bitter person, Zinnia wasn't sure if she would be able to abide such an event. If Severus Snape ever showed up—and Zinnia was fairly certain he would—Petunia would feel left out with her lack of magical abilities.

And then, speak of the devil, Severus fucking Snape showed up the minute Petunia and Lily were having a full blown disagreement about magic.

It'd all started when they were playing at the park.

At this point, Petunia had a general idea that Lily could do things that "normal" people couldn't, and she didn't like it. Zinnia knew she was jealous and if word ever got out that her sister was "different", she was going straight to the bottom to the social pyramid. Which Petunia would never allow.

Lily was eagerly making a flower bloom to give to Petunia, but Petunia had just given it a bland look.

"Why can't you just do normal stuff? Why do we always gotta do this magic stuff? It's not fair." Petunia's voice was thick with annoyance.

"Isn't it cool?" Lily asked, hurt.

"Kind of." Petunia grudgingly allowed. "But I still don't like it!"

A shy but excited voice broke in. "I knew it! I knew you were a witch—I've been watching you." The three sisters jumped at the sudden and unfamiliar sound. Zinnia was internally trying not to feel disturbed by the statement "I've been watching you" and they all turned towards to face the person who had spoken.

A short, dark haired boy with shaggy and slightly greasy hair stepped out from behind the bushes. He had a pitifully scraggly appearance, and Zinnia knew at once it was Severus Snape.

"Way to introduce yourself." Muttered Zinnia. She'd be grabbing her sisters and running as fast as their pathetically short legs could take them if she didn't know that he was Snape. Snape glanced at her, making the connection that the three of them were sisters.

"You're a witch too." It was a statement, not a question, which showed his confidence in his guess.

"And you're a wizard." Zinnia challenged, looking him right in the eye. He would prove to be a useful ally to Lily, and she needed all the help she could get. Snape visibly looked surprised by her knowledge of the word and narrowed his eyes.

"I am." He turned his attention back to Lily, "I can show you how to do other stuff if you'd like."

Zinnia almost let her mouth drop in shock. What the actual fuck? Snape could control his magic already? _Shit, if I can't even catch up to him, I'll be dead within a year of the war.  
_  
"Really?" Lily's eyes were shining with admiration and curiosity, and Snape almost looked taken back by her enthusiasm.

"Of course! My mother's a witch, she's taught me plenty." Pride filled his voice and his facial expression almost lifted from its sullen habitual state. "Meet me here tomorrow." He told Lily, and she nodded vigorously. Turning to Zinnia, as if he'd nearly forgotten she existed, he added, "You can too, if you want."

Lily squealed with elation, "Thanks! What's your name? I'm Lily."

A tiny corner of Snape's mouth lifted, "Severus Snape. And you?" He directed the last part towards Zinnia, who was just standing and staring. Here she was, staring at Severus Snape, in all his greasy glory. A future double spy for Dumbledore and someone who would fall too deeply in love with Lily.

"Zinnia Evans." She nodded at him, feeling slightly off-put, "Nice to meet you. Sorry, we've got to go, it's getting late. Lils and I will meet you here tomorrow in the morning."

Petunia, who had been watching the exchange with horrified outrage, finally exploded. "Are you two crazy? We can't meet this loser. He's so gross, look at him. I bet he doesn't even have any clothes that fit."

Whoops. She'd nearly forgotten that Petunia was there. It was blatantly obvious that Snape hadn't invited Petunia. Zinnia shook her head. She was already starting to see the black and white mentality the Wizarding World had. But it went both ways, so she wasn't allowed to complain.

"Tuney!" admonished Lily, appalled at her sister's lack of tact. Snape was shaking with rage, and his pale skin was tinted pink. "I'm so sorry," Lily quickly apologized to Snape, "Tuney's just hungry and she wants to go home to eat dinner. We'll see you tomorrow!"

Muttering with a still distinctly angry tone, he answered. "See you." Zinnia nodded at him as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away.

Petunia glared petulantly at them, "What? You know it's true. He's a freak, and if you two start hanging out with him, you'll be freaks too!" She stomped away from them, leaving Lily and Zinnia to stand there in the empty silence.

"Well, that went well." Commented Zinnia. Lily glanced sadly at her, "No that didn't." She sighed, looking off in the direction Petunia had stormed off to. "I wish Tuney wouldn't call him a freak. Or us." She was already feeling the distance Petunia was creating with her two sisters.

Zinnia exhaled tiredly and put an arm around Lily's shoulders—which was extremely uncomfortable, by the way, she was the shortest of the three and couldn't wait for her growth spurt. "C'mon, Lils, it'll be okay. Besides, aren't you happy you can learn magic now?"

Lily nodded, brightening up at that prospect. "Yeah, let's just go home. I think it'll be really fun tomorrow."

* * *

 **A/N: andddd it's severus snape. he's a damn hard character to write and i don't think i do him justice but i'll try.**

 **lily is still stuck in that naive mindset where she's like wow the world is just bad and good people and my sister is nice, she can't be a bad guy. that's gonna change in the future. but not yet; they're all youngins.**

 **as usual, thanks for reading!**


	3. Showered by the empty hopes

Meeting Severus Snape had been _interesting_ , to put it mildly. Zinnia was wildly jealous over his approaching prodigal magical abilities—he'd been the Potions Master of Hogwarts and one of Voldemort's highest ranking Death Eaters for a reason. And not to mention he had a sparkling personality that contrasted with Lily's almost frighteningly perfectly. And when she said sparkling, she meant sparklingly hilarious. Severus Snape was a riot, in her opinion—his dry sense of humor and general bitterness towards the world was immensely enjoyable. In her opinion, he was basically a salty tumblr blog come to life.

"Zinnia, if you keep drifting off you're going to end up floating in a lake one day, if you're not careful." Severus told her wryly, effectively breaking her out of her long internal monologue.

"Drowning in a lake would be better than listening to your boring monotone." She glared, looking a bit disgruntled. Severus returned her glare with full force. "Go on then, there's a lake right there."

Off to the side, Lily giggled, having become used to their odd bantering—which was often mean without any heat behind it. Intellectually, a group of nine year-olds shouldn't have had the capacity for the sometimes high level discussions about magic that they had, but Lily and Severus had always been uncannily clever and mature for their age; and well, Zinnia had been alive for twenty nine years, so she couldn't say much. To be completely honest, Zinnia was glad the two were so bright—they caught up with her thought processes rather quickly, and their intellectual capacities seemed to grow daily.

At this point, the three were starting to bounce theories off of each other and Zinnia had already gotten them to contemplate the nature of magic. She was pleased with their progress with magic, if she could say so herself. Growing up with Zinnia had helped Lily advance in her knowledge with leaps and bounds.

"Seriously, you need to start paying attention. I _just_ got you to come back to reality and now you're drifting off again?" Severus asked her, mildly annoyed but also amused by her short attention spans. His expression was one of utmost patience.

Zinnia coughed, embarrassed. "Well I'm sorry that I've got tons to think about. It isn't exactly easy being a Muggleborn and being thrown into magic."

"You weren't exactly thrown into it, though," Severus pointed out dryly, "I'm pretty sure you figured it out when you were three."

"I was around one, actually." She told him in an offhand manner.

Severus gaped at her with awe and quickly schooled his expression into a bored one. Zinnia smirked at his attempt to seem unimpressed, and she was feeling pretty smug about finally having a one-up over Severus. Then she snorted and groaned internally. Who was she kidding? She was a grown adult competing with a nine year old. That thought in itself would have probably elicited another round of self-pity (she couldn't believe a pair of nine year olds were nearing her intellectual capabilities) but Lily interrupted her train of thoughts with a bright laugh.

"C'mon, you two!" She chirped happily, hooking her arms through theirs as she pulled them up from their lazy positions on the grass. "We've got to get back soon! I heard America's launching a rocket into space, and they're going to the moon! They're broadcasting it on the telly."

Zinnia blinked as she tried to recall the rather distant memory of the first landing on the moon. She'd been born some twenty years after the Apollo 11 had landed on the moon, so it hadn't been much of a big deal when she'd learned about it in primary school.

Lily tugged at Zinnia, "We've got to get to the telly before it starts! Mum and dad'll try to hog it all and then we won't get good seats."

Snorting with amusement, Zinnia turned to Lily. "Do you really think mum and dad would do that?"

Lily grinned at her sheepishly, "I just wanted to make you walk faster."

Shaking his head with amusement, Severus allowed himself to be pulled along by Lily. He had a nonchalant look on his face, but Zinnia knew he was secretly overjoyed to be included into their family time. Lily and Zinnia had introduced Severus to their mum a while ago (it hadn't taken much effort for Zinnia to convince Lily to introduce him to their parents, but Severus had been like a rock) and thought Petunia had been horrified, their parents doted on him. It was pretty obvious that Severus was neglected and abused, and their parents couldn't bear the thought of a child being treated that way.

Zinnia had been rather proud of herself when Severus had been put into a chair at their dining table and had a full meal with them during dinner, all the while with a very awkward and uncomfortable expression on his face. She figured Severus needed all the affection he could get, and if he would be hanging around Lily for the rest of his life, he might as well get used to it now. Lily could be overly affectionate at times; she loved everyone fiercely and with the warmth of a thousand suns.

It was strange though, the books—at least what she could recall of the books—had never mentioned if Severus had met Lily's parents or not. If he hadn't met them in the original timeline, why didn't he? It was possible that it had been because of the Snape's reputation, and Severus could be more stubborn than a mountain at times. Though she couldn't imagine Lily not wanting Severus to meet her parents. Maybe Lily had been a lot more cautious around Severus in the beginning without Zinnia's push to be open and uninhibited around him; he was an abused child after all.

Either way, she was just glad that Severus had been welcomed into their family. She'd come to enjoy his presence, and though he'd been Lily's friend first, she now considered him as a very close friend. She and Lily treated him like a brother, though Petunia still avoided him like the plague and insulted him every time their parents' backs were turned. It'd been like this ever since Severus had dropped a branch on her using accidental magic. Zinnia was pretty sure it'd happened in the original timeline, so she wasn't too worried about the repercussions; though she'd missed having Petunia around. They still interacted occasionally, when Petunia could be decently nice without making fun of Severus. Lily was constantly trying to salvage their relationship, but quite frankly, Zinnia had given up and just went with the flow. Petunia was just as stubborn as Severus when she wanted to be.

"Hey mum, dad! Has it started yet?" Called Lily excitedly, running towards their parents, who were gathered in front of their pitifully small television.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Thanks for letting me come over." Mumbled Severus awkwardly, as usual.

Their mum laughed warmly, "No worries, Lily dear, it hasn't started yet. And you're always welcome, Severus." She patted the space next to her and the three of them piled down, leaning against each other, all sharp elbows and knees.

"Where's Tuney?" asked Lily, "Doesn't she want to see?"

"Tuney's coming soon, dear, she's just finishing up some of her stuff in her room." Answered their mum, with an almost sad smile on her face. Petunia had been becoming more and more distant lately, and at age twelve, it was understandable, but it still hurt her family.

Their father turned on the television and Severus immediately turned his attention to it, enraptured. He'd let it slip a while ago that his home didn't have one, so their mum had taken it upon herself to make everyone empty the family room while Severus was over so he could watch whatever he wanted. The Evans couple were well aware of the not-so-pristine reputation of the Snapes, but Severus was just a shy, gifted young boy who needed more care than he got; and they understood that. So they took him under their wing, caring for him like one of their own (and the son they'd never had).

They'd never met his mum, Eileen Snape, but the Evans matriarch was planning to ask Severus what the best time would be to drop by later. Zinnia had played a big part in convincing her mother to try and meet Eileen Snape—knowing her would be vital towards her future plans, and she and Lily would have early access to Diagon Alley because of Eileen's background as a Pureblood; she already knew everything about the magical world. Severus rarely mentioned his mum, but when he did, it was apparent that he loved and respected her. If Severus felt that way towards his mum, Zinnia thought, she couldn't be a bad person.

"It's starting!" Whispered Lily eagerly, "Tuney has got to come and see this!"

"Petunia, darling, come down and watch the program with us!" Called their mum.

"Alright, I'm coming!" Petunia shouted back, her tone irate. Her footsteps thudded loudly down the stairs and she stomped over to them, her facial expression twisting into disgust when she saw Severus sitting down with them.

"Why is _he_ here?" She asked with a revolted face.

"Petunia!" Their mum scolded sharply, "Just come and sit down next to your father."

"Fine." She grumbled angrily, and shoved past the three of them and plopped down next to their dad with an enraged thump.

Zinnia turned her attention back to the screen, ignoring the fact that she was squished between her mum and Lily, who both were now edging forward and consequently squeezing her uncomfortably tightly between them. She'd never seen the actual recording of the rocket being launched before, and it was strange because even though she wasn't American anymore, there was still a thick sense of excitement that permeated the air around them.

They all watched the program, absorbed by the prospect of actually going to the _moon_ , and that a human would be stepping onto it—something they would have never even considered years ago. Zinnia felt a strange feeling come across her; she was watching something that would be a major part of history, with tons of movies and documentaries about it made in the future. And it was 1969, for goodness sakes, she'd only ever read about that time period in her history textbooks. It was a bit frightening, and she'd never really stopped to consider the actually consider this. Every day had been too busy, filled with magic and plans for the future. But here she was, sitting in the past, wearing a dress and looking at a tiny television with quality nowhere near the clarity of the future.

"It's launching!" Squealed Lily, almost jumping onto her feet in excitement. They watched the black and white rocket launch into the air, smoke trailing behind it and bringing the best of human space innovation and the anticipation of the rest of the world with it into the unknowns of space.

A collective breath was released as the rocket disappeared into the atmosphere, the cameras unable to follow it any further.

"That was _amazing_." Breathed Severus, eyes shining.

" _Yeah_." Lily agreed wholeheartedly, still caught up in the pure wonder of the moment.

"Well, kids, you just experienced something that will change the world here." Their dad said, grinning down at them. Zinnia guessed he was thinking somewhere along the lines of finally beating the Russians at their own game—it _was_ the Cold War after all.

Petunia and Zinnia stayed silent, the former not really caring and the latter still lost in her thoughts.

Their mum stood, clapping her hands. "Looks like it's time for me to start making dinner. Make sure you four come in time for dinner, it'll be in about an hour and a half." She turned to their dad and they started discussing the implications of revolutions in the field of space, and Zinnia turned away, not too interested in that topic when she still had accidental magic to figure out.

"Okay mum, dad, we're going to the park to play for a bit!" Called Lily, as she ran out the door. "Let's go!" She told Zinnia and Severus, filled with enthusiasm to try out her magical abilities. She and Severus could already use and control their magical abilities to some limit, though Severus was more skilled than Lily. Zinnia, meanwhile, was still trying not to rip out her hair with frustration.

"Wanna come, Tuney?" Lily asked Petunia, almost timidly.

Petunia turned her nose and gave them looks of distaste, "No thanks, I'd rather not hang out with freaks like you."

Severus glared at her and opened his mouth to reply—probably to insult her intellectual capacities or something—but Lily tugged his arm sadly and shook her head. Zinnia followed the two out, but not before casting a long, silent look at Petunia, who only looked scowled stubbornly.

Falling into step besides Lily and Severus, Zinnia sighed with irritation. "I can't believe I'm the only one who still can't control accidental magic."

Severus snorted, "I've told you a thousand times, you're overthinking it."

"I am _not_." Zinnia glowered at him, "I'm thinking in the simplest terms I can."

"Which, for other children of _normal_ intelligence, isn't very simple at all."

Zinnia frowned, "You guys are _not_ normal. It's freaky how smart you two are, actually."

Lily laughed, "That's rich, coming from you."

Smirking, Zinnia replied dryly, "You've been around us way too much, Lils. This sense of humor isn't usually one of your finest points."

"Well, I had to get used to it sometime, didn't I?" Lily grinned teasingly, "You two are always so sarcastic I've been infected by your dryness."

"Glad to know you think so highly of us." Drawled Severus.

The three of them burst out laughing (though it was more of a wry grin from Severus and Zinnia) and they fell into a cheerfully contented mood as they walked towards the park, while Lily chattered on happily.

They sat down on their usual spot under the large oak tree and formed some sort of triangle.

"Does meditation work?" Zinnia wondered out loud, "We usually can't sense our magic, but it would be great if we could create some sort of awareness for it, so we could direct it."

Severus hummed, thinking about the possibilities of meditation, "I've never actually seen meditation used, but I guess there's a first time for everything. We usually begin to sense our magic when we get our wands; it's during that time that the wand's magic core kind of fuses with our own and makes it more sensitive and easy to control, if that makes sense?"

Lily nodded emphatically, "Yeah, so we could try to reach this awareness before we get our wands, and it'd be a lot easier to control our magic after that. Let's try it!"

The air buzzed with energy and potential, and the quiet serenity of their surroundings relaxed them. Zinnia closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, searching for her magic. She reached out, inside of her, outside in the air, everywhere she could think of. Focusing the feeling of nothingness and tranquility mixed as one, she sat and waited. Time ticked by, slowly dragging the seconds as waves of blankness washed over them, and then time wasn't time.

The world exploded.

And for a second, just that short second, she felt like she'd just been thrown into the vast everything of space, suspended between a black hole and a supernova, and the world was clear. Clearer than anything she'd ever seen before, a crystal sharpness that burned and dazzled her eyes, life erupting around her.

Magic. Was this magic?

But before she could even form another thought, the moment faded into the empty wisps of a drifting dream, fading into empty smoke she could never fully recall again. Zinnia sat there, stunned beyond what she thought was possible, and laughed, and laughed. Magic was everywhere. It didn't just flow through her veins, it was in the air she breathed, the stars she admired, and even the soft fuzz of the blanket she used for sleep. This was why she hadn't been able to focus her magic. She'd been so preoccupied with trying to make things happen, she'd forgotten to let things happen. Instead of trying to force her magic to bend to her will, she needed to let it flow, so she could direct it. She lay there laughing, and Lily glanced over at her, giving her a strange look. The remnants of her experience still thrummed through her body.

Lily and Severus had no problem using magic because they were children. They merely drew on their magic, so they had no conflict of forces. And then, she could _feel_. Feel her magic shifting in the air around her, inside her, and she knew then, that she'd be able to begin trying to control her magic.

Maybe wandless magic was only difficult because it was difficult to create awareness. Maybe witches and wizards were stuck on the idea of controlling their magic, that they forgot the easiness of it when they were younger and used accidental magic. How it just slid through her fingers and into the world around her, how it touched everything, flowed through everything.

"I think… I think I've got it." She said breathlessly from her spot on the ground, soft grass tickling the sides of her face. Her hair was spread out like a fan behind her, and she lay with her arms and legs spread out. She felt free.

Severus took one look at her and shook his head wryly, a small exasperated smile on his face. "No, you've obviously just failed miserably. Want to try moving the flower?" He patted the ground around him for a fallen blossom, and Lily thrust one forward at Zinnia before he could pick one from a nearby bush.

"Congratulations!" She hugged Zinnia delightedly after pulling her up into a sitting position. Zinnia smiled widely, cheeks flushed and still exhilarated from her revelation.

"Thanks, Lils." She took the blossom gratefully, "I think, we've just got to keep using accidental magic forever. Except that it isn't accidental. Magic is everywhere; we don't control it, we work together."

Lily looked at her, amazed, and Severus nodded.

"I dunno, I think you guys can feel it too. Maybe you guys are already aware." Zinnia continued, taking on a slightly more didactic tone, "We just have to remember the feeling when we get our wands. And we can _finally_ move onto more practical magic."

Severus smirked, "If it's hexes and curses you want, my mum already taught me a bunch."

" _Great_." Said Zinnia, awe on her face, "Let's get started on that. It'll definitely come in handy." She sniggered slyly, though she couldn't really think of a victim she wanted to curse at the moment.

"Guys!" Lily gasped, aghast, though she was slightly amused as well.

"Don't worry, Lils, I'll hex anyone who bothers you before you get a chance to use it." Zinnia smirked excitedly, she really wanted a chance to practice using curses and hexes before she went to Hogwarts. If she entered a war without knowledge about injuring others, or at least slowing them down, it'd be like walking into a bar with zero tolerance for alcohol.

Lily still looked slightly horrified, but just gave them an exasperated glance, "Please don't hurt anyone."

Severus shrugged, "I never hurt anyone unless they hurt me. Or—you two." He said the last part uncomfortably, but it meant a lot, coming from him. Zinnia smiled softly at Lily and Severus, content with her life and her family.

"I think that's the first time I've seen you smile like that." Lily said warmly, "You and Sev need to smile more." Zinnia just shrugged and just sat there, happy with watching them.

"Hey, I do smile." Severus deadpanned, looking like he'd just been subjected to a boring lecture; not even making a proper protest.

Lily rolled her eyes at him, "See what I mean?"

Zinnia suddenly jumped up, shattering the relaxed mood. "Shite! We're gonna be late for dinner!"

In unison, Lily and Severus raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, I forgot, sorry. Please excuse my bad language. Now can we please go get food?" She rolled her eyes and started to grab their arms and drag them in the general direction of the Evans house.

Severus snorted, "I think the only thing that gets you excited is magic, food, books, and sleep."

Lily nodded in solemn agreement. Zinnia glanced back at them and huffed, "Yes, I am a very dull person. Now let's go get food."

As she dragged them along, with Lily laughing and adjusting her pace into a run, Severus added, "I can't believe you cursed in front of our delicate and innocent nine-year old minds."

Zinnia glared at him, "Delicate my arse." She muttered, "And I'm younger than you two."

"Which is exactly why I'm worried for you." Severus told her very seriously.

The three of them burst through the door (Severus was actually trying a polite knock before Zinnia and Lily nudged him out of the way and thrust open the door) and stood in the entrance to the kitchen, gasping for breath.

"Please tell we me made it." Zinnia pleaded toward their mum.

Their mum laughed fondly, "Yes, you three barely made it on time. And yes, Zin, you may have two slices of chocolate cake." She added before Zinnia could ask.

"Thank you for the food, Mrs. Evans." Severus told her politely.

"It's no problem at all, Severus; you're always welcome, and so is your mum." Their mum smiled down at him warmly.

"Smells delicious!" Called Lily, racing towards the dining table, right behind Zinnia. Severus nodded in thanks at Lily and Zinnia's mum and followed after them. He knew his mum would be eating alone right now, but it was a lot better than usual because she would be able to go out for a bit alone without the burden of having to make sure Severus was okay at home.

The tableware was all set and Petunia was already sitting at a chair preparing to eat when they all piled into the rest of the chairs. She pointedly ignored Lily, who'd sat down next to her.

The food was steaming and delicious, and Zinnia knew that she'd love her mum's home cooking for the rest of her life. She'd long since gotten used to being a part of the Evans family (which she hoped Severus felt) and the understanding that she had two families was second nature. It was easy to reconcile the two now, and it hurt a lot less when she thought about her old family. She still missed them of course, but she also had a life to live.

* * *

Months passed, and Zinnia, Lily, and Severus, focused on applying their magic to practical situations while Zinnia hammered Severus about learning Dark magic. Zinnia didn't really think Dark magic was bad, it just depended on the way people used it. She liked that Severus understood that, and wanted to learn how to use it as well, but Lily was always skeptical and didn't join in much on their conversations about Dark magic. Lily wanted to stick more to Light magic, where she could be sure she wouldn't hurt anyone by accident. And that was okay with Zinnia and Severus; everyone had their differences and they accepted that.

What Zinnia really wanted, though, was to meet Eileen Snape. She knew Severus' mum was a Slytherin and Pureblood, and therefore knew loads about Dark magic and its appliances.

"D'you think we could ever meet your mum?" She asked him quietly one day. Lily watched Severus with serious eyes, and he shifted, looking for a way out of the conversation.

"Hey." Zinnia wasn't going to let him escape this conversation. "How's your dad?"

Severus' face contorted. "Fine." He answered curtly.

"Oh? He must be, considering you're fresh with bruises today."

The look on Severus' face was enough for Zinnia to feel guilty. But they needed to face this problem, to sort it out, before anything escalated and possibly ruined future events. " _What did you just say_?" If there was a sound for fear and rage all mixed into one chaotic mess, it would be this.

Zinnia placed a hand gently on his shoulder, "I know. And I'm going to try to figure something out. I promise. But I need to meet your mum first."

He shrugged off her hand angrily as his dark eyes pierced hers, "Figure something out?" His voice was scathing. "You think I haven't tried? For all these years? You think it's that easy?!" His voice had risen to a shout.

Zinnia nodded and stayed calm. "We want to help. My whole family and I. It isn't fair that you and your mum have to suffer under your dad. I'll see what I can do. But I need to know why your mum isn't able to leave him before I can start thinking about anything."

Lily made a soft noise of agreement, "We'll do anything to help, Sev." Lily too, had noticed the bruises. And while she hadn't made the connection, Zinnia had nudged her along the right path and explained the support that Severus and his mum would need. Zinnia suspected Julie and Max knew as well.

"It's not—you don't _understand_. How could you? Look at what you've got! You've never even _seen_ the way a bruise forms after your mum gets hit. You've never felt so miserable and tired that you can't find the will to get up, because your body is just too broken. You don't _get it_. I don't need your help." Severus' eyes were brimming with tears, but he was determinedly holding them back, refusing to accept anything.

"It's not pity." Zinnia said quietly. "I know we'll never exactly know what you've gone through, but we can always try to understand. You have to help us understand. We don't want you to go through this alone."

"You're our best friend." Lily's voice was thick with pain and sympathy, and she pulled Severus closer to them.

Zinnia put a comforting arm around his shoulder and Lily hugged him fiercely.

Severus let out a strangled choking noise and buried his face in his arms. Neither of the sisters said anything.

It was strange that the books hadn't mentioned anything about getting Severus out of his miserable situation. Zinnia didn't know why nothing had happened, but she was here now, and she wanted to help the boy who'd become like a brother to Lily and her.

And while she was alive, she'd do anything she could to help the ones she cared about.

* * *

 **A/N: as usual, thank for reading!**

 **now obviously, this isn't exactly the right way to go about talking to someone's who being abused. it takes a lot more time than this; and that's just life. realistically, things aren't gonna work out so easily. but Severus has never had friends before and people who tried to understand him. he has his mother to protect him as much as she can but that's like the only person who showed care for him. so this is a big step for him and he's deciding to trust them.**


	4. as I tumble down,

The year of 1970 hit Zinnia like a sledgehammer. Her nightmares escalated and she woke up almost every other night with her heart constricted with terror and the gruesome vividness of tortured faces and dead bodies lingering in her vision.

She'd been lulled into a sense of relaxation by Lily and Severus' close companionship, so much to the point that time had passed by too quickly for her to prepare adequately for the start of the First Wizarding War. Lily and Severus were almost eleven now, and she knew they'd be heading off for Hogwarts soon.

And worse yet, Zinnia hadn't completed any of her plans. She still hadn't released Severus and his mum from Tobias Snape's vicious clutches, and she'd made slow progress in learning the hexes and curses that Severus had taught her. The two of them pored over the finer points of these skills, and Severus had caught on a lot more quickly than Zinnia had—which annoyed her to no end and amused Severus and Lily, who were aware of her subtle competitive streak (or at least Zinnia wanted to raise her skills to a level above theirs; the war was no laughing matter).

Lily was becoming more and more worried about her younger sister as the days passed and Zinnia just looked more and more frazzled. Severus had been shooting her puzzled looks during one of their daily gatherings, as Zinnia seemed to be more distracted than usual. Her skin had paled to an unhealthy white—they spent too much time outside for her to be pale—and she had prominent eye bags under her eyes.

Her manner was increasingly disconcerting as she sunk deeper and deeper into her fear, becoming quieter and quieter.

"Okay," Severus demanded, when he couldn't take Zinnia's grim silence any longer, "What the hell is going on?"

Averting her eyes, Zinnia muttered, "Nothing."

Lily, who was frustrated with Zinnia's vague answers and avoidance, burst out, "It isn't nothing! And trust me, I can tell!" She snapped, when Zinnia opened her mouth to argue, "You've been waking up almost every night from those nightmares again. Don't think you're clever enough to hide those dark circles under your eyes, because you're not—I'm your sister!"

Zinnia's mouth was open, but she closed it promptly when she realized she had nothing to say.

"Nightmares?" Severus frowned, "I didn't know you got nightmares."

Alarmed, Zinnia shot a frantic look at Lily, who just stubbornly looked away.

"Uh…" Zinnia started intelligently. Lily rolled her eyes with exasperation.

"If you don't tell him, I will. Sev's our best friend! He'd never betray us."

"Tell me what?" Severus demanded suspiciously, eyes narrowing sharply. The sisters had never hidden anything from him before, and all this talk of a secret hurt him a bit. He'd practically spilled his soul to them, and they were just now talking about something he'd never heard about before.

Clenching her hands anxiously, Zinnia glanced at Lily nervously. Lily nodded encouragingly and Zinnia closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm a Seer—kind of. I don't churn out prophecies, but I get prophetic dreams about the future when things go bad. I get a lot of dreams about people getting hurt or killed."

Shock filled Severus, and then fear. "How is that possible? I've never heard of a Muggleborn Seer. If it's true…" He trailed off, staring Lily and Zinnia with an unfathomable gaze. His mother had told him stories about Voldemort and his Death Eaters, who were just recently rising into prominence. No wonder Zinnia hadn't told him about her abilities—if that information ever got into the wrong hands, she'd either be captured or killed. Still, it hurt that they hadn't trusted him with her secret until now.

Lily was still ignorant to the violence starting up in the Wizarding World, Zinnia had chosen to keep her in the dark for as long as she could—Lily deserved an innocent childhood. She and Severus had already experienced things that had stripped away their innocence years ago. That was also a reason why they wanted to protect Lily so fiercely; she was strong, but she didn't understand the consequences for her as a Muggleborn in a time of war just yet. Especially since Voldemort was trying to eradicate the Muggleborn population.

"I know." Zinnia told Severus seriously. He nodded sharply.

It was also a bit gratifying for Severus to finally understand why Zinnia knew things she shouldn't have; it had been mystery that had plagued him from the moment he had met her. Thinking back to his mum and Zinnia's meeting, a lot of their exchange that had been confusing finally made sense now.

They'd found a time where they were sure Severus' father wouldn't appear, and snuck into Severus' rickety old cottage on the edge of town. Lily and Zinnia had greeted Eileen Snape politely, but Zinnia had immediately started asking Eileen about divorce and explaining its merits. Eileen, of course, had merely raised a cool eyebrow and replied calmly to each question. She didn't want any attention drawn to her, now that Voldemort was looking for potential Death Eaters, and Tobias would have hunted her and Severus down no matter what she tried to do. If she used magic, she'd lose her cover, and she wanted herself and her son to stay alive—which meant they had to stay neutral.

Zinnia, though, had immediately latched on to that last part and asked her if she knew a "Tom Riddle". At this point, Eileen's face had turned even paler than her normal pallid color; and had promptly dragged Zinnia into another room, sat her down, and shut the door. The rest of the conversation had been carried in low, indecipherable tones, and Severus and Lily had been left to themselves to boil with curiosity. What they discussed was privy only to them, and no matter how much Severus drilled his mum on the name "Tom Riddle", she never said a word about it.

"Who's Tom Riddle?" He abruptly asked, desperately needing answers. Severus was wary of the war, and he knew that he would have to navigate its waters carefully, or he'd be killed.

Zinnia glanced uncomfortably and shook her head as if to say, _not here; Lily's listening_. The two had a mutual agreement about protecting Lily, and they both knew that the other would do whatever it took to keep Lily safe.

Lily's cheeks flushed with irritation, "You two never tell me anything! I'm not a delicate flower, you know. I can take care of myself."

"Well, your name _is_ Lily." Zinnia told her wryly, trying to shift the conversation in a different direction.

"Don't try that with me," rebuked Lily, "You're my sister, so don't think you can hide anything from me. Tell me _now_."

"Look, Lily," Severus started, "The only reason why we haven't said anything is because it's not anything good, or nice. There's a war."

Zinnia hissed, "I thought you said you weren't going to tell her!"

"It's a _war_ , for Merlin's sake. She deserves to know." He shot back. Zinnia glowered at him nastily, before turning her head.

"Fine. Lily, there's a war going on right now and a crazy guy named Lord Voldemort is trying to kill all the Muggleborns. There. Happy?"

Lily quickly composed her face from one of horror to calm acceptance, "Yes. I'm very happy. Now tell me what we're going to do about this." Sometimes, it was frightening how swiftly Lily could adapt to pressuring situations.

Zinnia just thought that she loved the people around her too much to start uselessly freaking out about things out of their control. Lily loved, truly and deeply, and this often overrode her sense of practicality.

Severus snorted, "What makes you think we have a plan about this?"

"You two always have a plan. Or at least, I know Zinnia does. She's always prepared."

Zinnia swallowed thickly. It wasn't like she didn't have a plan, it just wasn't really a _plan_. She had some vague general idea about what she wanted to do in order to save Lily, but she hadn't been able to reach her goals concerning her magical abilities. Which meant, in other words, that she didn't actually have a plan anymore and she was screwed.

Severus and Lily turned to look at her.

"So?" Prompted Lily, "I know there's always something going on in your head, so just tell us. We can help."

 _The problem is, that you guys are only eleven. You're children!_ Zinnia internally screamed. They weren't ready for a war. None of them war. Severus may have had more experience than others, but he was still just a child. They all were. Well, not Zinnia—she was technically an adult, which put her in a lot better position.

"Just say it," sighed Severus exasperatedly, "You know you can't do this on your own."

"I can." She snapped, "You guys don't need to get involved in this. Your life at Hogwarts will be complicated enough as it is."

"Just because you can see the future doesn't mean that you're any stronger than us!" Retorted Lily angrily. Sometimes, she just wanted to take her sister by the cuffs of her dress and shake her until she saw reason. "We're all in the same boat. We're facing this war _together_ , whether you like it or not. Now _tell us_."

"Before she throws your limp body into a lake." Severus added, "Of which I will be helping with."

Zinnia twitched, "Way to make a girl feel safe. And I don't even have a plan, okay? It's driving me crazy because I have no idea what to do! All I know is that we have to have to skills to take down Voldemort before we graduate, or we're all dead!"

 _Shit_. It'd slipped out of her mouth in a fit of anger, and not she couldn't take it back.

Shit. What was she going to do? She'd just fucking told two _children_ they were going to die.

The silence around them was heavy and oppressive, choking the air around them.

"Is that what you see?" Asked Lily in a quiet and strangled voice, "Our deaths?"

Severus sat on the grass, not saying a word. Death? It was almost incomprehensible for him. They were too young to die.

"I—" Zinnia was at a loss of what to say. She'd just fucked up. Majorly.

"You're all dead. You, Severus, mum, dad. Petunia's the only one who lives, but she's so _bitter_." Zinnia answered softly, burying her head in her arms. She felt like a child. Her nightmares had been torturing her for years, and it seemed that no matter what changes she made to the future, they all somehow ended up dead.

Dead, like the empty crunches of fallen leaves on the ground. Hollow bodies, devoid of life. Zinnia didn't want to see it anymore, but she had to. Different faces filled her dreams, all screaming, crying, before they ended up dead. The war was here, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I'm so sorry," whispered Lily, "Why didn't you tell us?" She placed a warm arm around Zinnia's shoulders and pulled her close.

Zinnia let out a strangled laugh, "You really think I'd tell you guys that we're all going to die?"

"We're not." Cut in Severus sharply, voice like a knife.

"We're not." Agreed Lily firmly, squeezing Zinnia's hand.

Emotions choking her throat, Zinnia gasped out a laugh and a sob, "We're not."

"And we'll be strong enough to protect ourselves." Severus vowed, dark eyes glinting. He was already making plans for the future, matching his proficiencies to the classes his mother had told him about, thinking about the possibilities his abilities would bring him.

The moment solidified into a promise, and the three knew that they'd try to survive the war no matter what.

* * *

Lily and Severus' birthdays passed with grand celebration for each; they were showered with presents from Lily's parents and Zinnia. Petunia had contributed a tiny pebble she'd found on the sidewalk for both of them to avoid any reprimands from her mum. To Zinnia, their birthdays just felt like one step closer into the chaos of war. But she felt almost contented as well. She hated to burden the two of them with the despairs of war, but she felt like an almost suffocating weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It was a wonderful feeling to have support from the people around you.

Whenever she got nightmares, Lily would climb into bed and hold her hand until she fell asleep. She didn't know how Lily knew what she needed, but it was a relief to feel Lily's warm, solid hand; knowing that she was alive before she went back to sleep. Severus, too, supported her in his own way. He shared everything he knew about Dark magic, and a massive pile of books his mum had passed on to him. Zinnia had never been more grateful for friends, and their support bolstered her will to keep trying.

But she could tell that Lily and Severus were still disconcerted with the idea of a war so bad that everyone would die.

There was nothing Zinnia could do besides attempt to comfort them. Confessing their deaths was one of her biggest regrets.

No, it was her biggest regret. She hated herself for strapping such a horrific weight onto their young, vunerable shoulders.

Slowly, time and memory worked in her favor, healing the shocks Lily and Severus had received.

Lily was optimistic to the point where she had thrown the possibility of her death out the window, choosing to focus on the present.

Severus remained a brooding sarcastic arse, but his comments had gotten darker compared to before. When Zinnia confronted him about it, he told her he'd never let any of them die.

And that was that.

Zinnia knew the emotion scars were far from healed, but they were coming along.

* * *

The three of them spent their summer lying on the grass and discussing the magic they learned from Eileen's books.

Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts were Severus' favorite studies; he'd already begun reading the fifth year textbooks. Lily had found Potions fascinating as well, and loved the idea of Charms.

Zinnia wasn't exactly sure what subjects really appealed to her, but she'd been fascinated by Legilimency and Occlumency when Severus had introduced the basics that his mum had taught him to her. Eileen Snape was not a talkative woman, but she was incredibly helpful whenever Zinnia and Lily snuck over. It had, after all, been her prompting for Severus to teach Zinnia Occlumency.

After Zinnia's rashly calculated decision to mention the name "Tom Riddle" to Eileen, Eileen had pulled her aside and demanded what she knew. Zinnia had given the quick version of her Seer abilities—she wasn't too worried about telling Eileen, because as far as she knew, Eileen would be a valuable ally, and Voldemort hadn't really bothered her during the war in the books (probably because he didn't know where she was). Hiding from Voldemort was quite a feat in itself, and that just furthered the idea that Eileen was an incredibly powerful witch. Occlumency was vital for Zinnia's survival; no one could ever know that Zinnia was a Seer. The war had created enemies out of everyone, and Zinnia knew she couldn't trust anyone besides Severus and Lily.

By the time the Hogwarts letter came, Lily was well-versed in all the subjects that she'd be learning in her first and second year of Hogwarts, thanks to Eileen's old textbooks. When an owl had slammed into their kitchen window, their mother had shrieked and Lily had burst out laughing.

"It's just an owl, mum." Lily had told her, gasping between breaths of laughter. Zinnia had merely smirked and went outside to retrieve the owl. Severus had come running to their house later with the letter clutched in his hands and cheeks flushed with excitement. Though they were burdened by the idea of a war, they were children, and they enthralled by the idea of going to Hogwarts.

"A school for freaks," Petunia spat, "That's where you're going." Her disdain fell short though, because at that exact moment, McGonagall had appeared at their doorstep and knocked on the Evans' door.

Their mum opened the door, confused but welcoming, and McGonagall stepped in. Her stern look was exactly the way Zinnia had pictured it, and Zinnia had to cover her mouth to hide a snigger.

Professor McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress, as she'd introduced herself, began to explain the magical world to their mum, and informed them that she'd need to take Lily to Diagon Alley to get her supplies. She'd glanced over at Severus briefly, but glanced away before Zinnia could read her expression.

"What about Petunia?" Their mum asked.

"Sometimes magical abilities are not inherited by all the children." McGonagall told her seriously, "Though it seems your youngest daughter has magical abilities as well."

At this, their mum had turned to Zinnia, though she honestly wasn't very surprised by the report of Zinnia's abilities. Zinnia had always been different—a child too mature for her body, too independent for coddling. A child who'd never had a childhood.

"If you're ready, I can take you to Diagon Alley now." McGonagall turned her sharp eyes toward Severus, "You may come as well, if you'd like."

Severus nodded eagerly, "Just let me grab some stuff." He sprinted out the door, presumably to ask his mum for some Galleons to spend.

McGonagall then began explaining the wizarding currency, and the exchange rates. Thankfully, the items on their list weren't too expensive, and Zinnia hoped their mum would have some money left over for her to use. She had a few books she really wanted to look for.

Lily turned over to Zinnia, exhilarated, the stories of her childhood now true. " _Diagon Alley."_ She whispered, eyes shining, "I can't believe we're actually going."

Zinnia gave her an amused look, "I told you. When have I ever been wrong?"

Lily laughed brightly, "Bragging much?"

Smirking, Zinnia told her cheekily, "Not when it's true."

The front door burst open and Severus ran in, "I'm ready." He gasped, out of breath.

"Late much?" teased Lily. Severus snorted and shook his head at her.

McGonagall peered down at them strangely. "If we're all here, let's go." Their mum dragged a huffing Petunia—she was too young to stay home alone—and they traveled to the Leaky Cauldron, Lily and Severus chatting animatedly and Zinnia and her mum listening quietly but fondly. Petunia kept the same angry facial expression the entire way, and Zinnia almost told her that her face would stay constipated if she didn't calm down—but she wasn't _that_ mean. Though it was mostly because McGonagall was with them and she didn't want to make a bad impression on someone she admired.

"So, mum," she began awkwardly, "Is it alright if I have some pocket money for Diagon Alley?" Her mum blinked owlishly for a moment, and considered the possibilities of giving a ten yoear old money. It was Zinnia, though, she told herself, Zinnia understood the responsibilities that came with money. She'd always been a mature child, never really needing her or her husband to take care of her. She mostly went off with her sisters, and when she wasn't with them, she was reading, or asking her parents philosophical questions. Though her mum and dad were sad that they'd never really gotten a chance to raise her, they could tell she loved the affection they gave her, and they loved her despite her strangeness. They knew she was an independent child, and they trusted her. So Zinnia received a pocket full of coins they'd exchanged with McGonagall, and a nod of trust from her mum.

McGonagall brought them into the Leaky Cauldron—a place Zinnia definitely would have missed if she hadn't been searching for it—and brought them to the back.

"Stand back." She told them, and tapped the bricks with her wand. Lily and Severus watched with enraptured anticipation, while Zinnia tried to memorize the pattern of the taps so she could sneak back to Diagon Alley while Lily and Severus were at Hogwarts.

They stepped through the arch, and awe filled the Evans and Severus. It was like nothing they'd ever seen before. The air was thick with magic, but it was like the sweet scent of honey and the powerful smell of mint permeating the air. Hundreds of people milled about, wearing long, flowing robes that reminded her of dresses. The shops were crowded, and magical items were on display everywhere. She felt like Diagon Alley could have been made of magic.

"This is amazing." Breathed Lily, unable to take her eyes of the streets. McGonagall smiled to herself. Seeing people's facial expression change when they first entered Diagon Alley was one of her favorite parts about her job.

Severus nodded in agreement with Lily, too dumfounded to even say anything.

It was so magical, it almost couldn't be described in words. Zinnia felt a grin split across her face.

"Mum, can I go off alone? I promise I'll meet you guys in an hour at that ice cream shop over there." A large, fluorescent sign flashed Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.

Her mum hesitated, unsure if she wanted her ten year old daughter going off alone. "Fine," she finally relented, after looking at Zinnia's pleading eyes (she could be convincing when she wanted to), "But only an hour, okay? You have to meet us there."

Zinnia nodded eagerly and waved a hand distractedly at Lily and Severus, calling out "Thanks mum!" before racing off.

She slipped through people, for once glad for her small stature, and headed straight for Flourish and Blotts. The bookstore was crammed with people, and a bunch of first years were crowded in one area, trying to purchase their textbooks.

Zinnia moved her finger along the spines of the books until she reached the one she was looking for. Pulling it out, she flipped through the pages of _Magic Theory_ and checked each chapter. It seemed like a decent textbook that covered the main aspects of magic that she hadn't quite understand, like the origin of spells. Gripping the book in her hand, she shoved her way through people and decided to look for a book about hexes and curses while she was at it.

Because hexes and curses usually leaned towards the Dark Arts, she was surprised to find a whole section of books dedicated to just those spells. Carefully looking through each title, she decided to choose the one with the nastiest spells she could find—they'd definitely come in handy in the future.

Her arms were annoying short, but she managed to grip both books in her hands and stood in the exhaustingly long line for the cashier. After a few minutes, her hands began shaking, and she was starting to gain a lot of stares. She was short for her age, _and_ she was wearing a light blue cotton dress that practically screamed "Muggleborn". There were a few looks of distaste being shot in her direction, but she ignored the general feeling of discomfort and focused her attention on not letting the books slip.

Finally unable to hold the books any longer, she dropped them rather ungracefully on the floor with a loud thump. The people next to her shot her strange looks but she chose to start thinking about the possible people Lily and Severus would meet at Hogwarts. Each time the line moved, she shoved the books forward with her feet and continued to build a list of potential allies.

When she finally reached the cashier, she heaved the books with her trembling arms and gave him the exact amount. Sighing deeply, she settled the books in her arms and started walking back to the ice cream shop.

 _Come on, you can do this. You're not going to die._ She told herself, _Just a bit longer_.

Her arms though, had become numb and seemed to have a mind of their own. She dropped the books while she was walking and they landed in a messy heap on the floor.

"Fuck this." She muttered to herself, bending down to pick up her books. Before she could attempt to pick up her books again, a pale, elegant hand picked up her books for her. Startled, Zinnia looked up into the eyes of a handsome middle-aged man.

"May I help you with this, young lady?" Zinnia eyed him suspiciously. She wasn't too sure if she wanted to trust a stranger, but her arms were exhausted and she didn't want to deal with this shit anymore.

"That'd be great, thank you. I'm Zinnia Evans. And you are?"

"Alphard Black. A pleasure to meet you." He smiled at her amicably.

Zinnia twitched and almost stopped in her tracks. _Black_? She was fucked. They were a bigoted family of arsehole Purebloods, and he'd more than likely drop her books if he found out she was Muggleborn. She frowned, it was blatantly obvious she was Muggleborn by her clothes. So why was he helping her?

Alphard Black seemed to notice her internal struggle, "I have nothing against Muggleborns. Though I'm surprised a Muggleborn knows a Pureblood name like that Blacks."

Hesitantly, Zinnia glanced up at him. He seemed like a decent guy, and from what she could recall from the books, he was the uncle that had encouraged Sirius into Gryffindor. "It's a very famous name." She answered dryly.

He hummed in amusement and agreement. "I suppose you're a first year?"

"No, I'm starting next year." She was just about to tell him about Lily, but then she realized that she had let herself fall into a congenial atmosphere with a stranger and stopped herself. Damn, this guy was _good_. No wonder he'd been in Slytherin.

A shout interrupted her musings. "Uncle!" Called a young male voice.

Alphard turned around, "Ah, Sirius. Done with your robe fittings already?"

"Yeah, it was so boring." The boy moaned. Then his name registered in Zinnia's brain. Sirius Black? There was no way in hell she wanted to get involved with him.

 _Don't notice me, don't notice me_. She chanted in her head desperately. He turned to her and she internally groaned.

"Who's this?" He eyed her Muggle clothing. Zinnia glared defiantly at him, eyes screaming, _Problem_?

"This is Zinnia Evans. She starts Hogwarts next year."

Sirius scanned the books in his uncle's arms with mild disgust. "You like reading?"

Zinnia shrugged, face blank. She was actually pretty annoyed by his blatant judging, but didn't say anything.

"I almost forgot, I'm Sirius Black. Nice to meet you." He looked her from toe to head before holding out a hand and Zinnia felt her head throb with irritation. She really didn't want to be near him any longer. Eyeballing her surroundings, she felt relief as she spotted the ice cream store.

"Did you hear that?" She asked, ignoring Sirius' outstretched hand and pretended to look for something. Sirius gave her a confused look. "Oh wait, it's the sound of bullshit." She deadpanned and took the books from Alphard.

"Thank you very much for your help, Mr. Black. I've got to go. There's ice cream calling my name. Goodbye." And she promptly dashed away as quickly as she could.

"What?" She distantly heard Sirius yelp, and Alphard's loud laughter echoed in reply and she smirked. Served that arrogant assface right. Calling out to her mum, she rejoined her family.

"Find everything okay?" She asked Lily and Severus. They nodded brightly, and Lily began to recount her experience at the shops they had stopped by. Zinnia passed her books to her mum and walked alongside Severus and Lily.

"If you're ready to go, I'll take you back to your house." McGonagall told them. Their mum nodded and they set off for their home. Zinnia cast one last lingering glance at the beauty of Diagon Alley and followed Lily and Severus.

Petunia had returned her facial expression to a scowl, and stood in sullen silence. After they reached their house, McGonagall bid them goodbye and they met their confused dad inside the house where he was sitting alone on the living room couch.

"Where were you?" He asked worriedly, eyeing the whole bag of supplies they had bought. His wife answered cheerfully and set all of the things they had on the floor and sat down on the couch next to him, beginning to patiently explain the world of magic.

"I have to go, it's getting late." Severus told them. Lily and Zinnia hugged him goodbye (though it was more of an awkward pat on Zinnia's part) and he grabbed his stuff and left.

Lily smiled, content with the entire day. "I think Hogwarts is going to be amazing."

* * *

 **A/N: I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter, mostly because I got stuck on what to write. I'm trying to move the plot along more quickly, but it'll still be one or two chapters before Zinnia goes to Hogwarts. Please let me know if you see any mistakes, and feel free to leave any comments about anything you see. And as usual, thanks for reading!**


	5. falling fast to the ground

**Reply to guest review: I'm sorry if it seemed like I was bashing Sirius. I really wasn't-he's actually one of my favorite characters. I just chose to portray him that way because it seemed like Sirius would have a very arrogant and slightly judgmental character as a child. After all, he was raised by Pureblood elitists, and he bullied Severus without a second thought. He may have gotten into Gryffindor but it doesn't mean he was able to entirely erase the ideals the Blacks tried to ingrain in him before Hogwarts. I feel like he probably would have developed his adult mindset during his time at Hogwarts. And Zinnia is prickly towards strangers in general, hence the reaction. Thanks for your review and I hope you keep reading!**

* * *

Quiet shivers ran down Lily's spine. She was going to Hogwarts. _Hogwarts_. A school for magic. After longing for it for so long, it just didn't feel real. She'd barely been able to sleep, and Zinnia had asked her to kindly stop tossing and turning before she pushed her off the bed. Of course, she hadn't actually done that, but either way, Lily was hardly able to get a wink of sleep. The next morning, she'd been up right when the sun started its slow rise. Downstairs, her mum was making breakfast—Lily's favorite breakfast, cinnamon and apple syrup waffles—and her dad was lying on the couch, reading the newspaper.

"Good morning, mum!" She chirped happily. Her mum looked over her shoulder from where she was standing at the stove and smiled.

"Good morning, Lily sweet." Lily could tell she wanted to say more, but kept quiet. Lily skipped over to her dad and greeted him as well, unable to erase the broad smile from her face.

"Looks like someone's excited." Her dad said amusedly, reaching over to ruffle her carefully brushed hair.

"Dad!" She protested, pouting and trying to fix her hair in vain. Zinnia came thumping slowly down the stairs, yawning and rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Long night?" Asked their mum with a knowing look. She suspected Lily's overenthusiasm would have disturbed Zinnia; she was a light sleeper.

"Yeah," Zinnia grumbled unhappily, "Peter Rabbit here just couldn't stop moving around."

"Awwww, Zin, you know how amazing and exciting and great this is!"

Zinnia just grunted. She was not a morning person.

"Anyway," continued Lily, "I need you to braid my hair. Dad just messed up all my hard work. I don't want to look weird on my first day, and I really want to look nice!"

Sighing, Zinnia just waved Lily over to where she was still half-sleeping on the couch and Lily plopped down on the rug in front over her.

"Comb?" She asked, finding Lily's hair too long to braid without accidentally tangling it.

"Got it!" The comb Lily usually kept on her dressing came flying down the stairs and into Zinnia's hand. Their parents stared at Lily with amazement.

"I'll never get used to that." Their dad said, shaking his head with amusement.

Zinnia smirked proudly. She was glad that Lily had been able to advance her magic to this point—they'd had the disadvantage of being Muggleborns and not really having a proper introduction into the world of magic, but Lily's strength of mind and will had helped her increase her magic control by leaps and bounds—that, and she practiced like a madman.

Calmly, Zinnia gathered strands of Lily's hair and carefully braided it. Lily grinned, she usually didn't braid her hair, but it was something Zinnia had introduced a while ago, and the females of the Evans house had made it into a thing. It would be comforting, to have a reminder of home with her while she was away. Far, far away from the warmth and familiarity of her family and her home. But Lily wasn't too sad or scared to leave; rather, she anticipated her life at Hogwarts and all the things she could learn. She knew Zinnia was still stressed out by the fact that a war had started—Lily swore she'd be seeing grey hair on her soon—but Lily just wanted to live and see a new world. The war was important, but so was her happiness. Steely resolve filled her and she felt excitement stir in her blood. Lily would learn, experience, and live while she was at Hogwarts, and she wasn't going to let a war take that away from her.

After a while, after Petunia had stomped down, and they'd all settled at the dining table to eat breakfast, the Evans savored their last moments as a family together with Lily at home, and departed for the train station. They picked Severus up on the way, who was waiting for them at the usual park he met with Lily and Zinnia at; he didn't want to risk Tobias seeing him leave. Zinnia frowned, she still needed to sort out the whole getting rid of Tobias thing with Eileen—the whole issue was just making Severus and his mum miserable.

Severus was almost smiling as he got into the Evans' car.

"Thank you for giving me a ride, Mr. and Mrs. Evans." He told them politely. Lily grinned at him when she heard the excited undertones of his usually droll voice.

Most of the car ride to the station was filled with chattering between Lily and Severus, with occasional interjections from Zinnia and the adults. Petunia, however, glared out the window and scooted as far away as she could from Zinnia—though it didn't make much of a difference because the four of the children were squeezed into the backseat of the car.

"I can't wait for Defense Against the Dark Arts." Severus gushed—well, as much as he could gush, at least. Lily nodded enthusiastically in agreement, and was about to reply when Petunia interrupted her.

"Will you guys shut up? It's so stupid, how you keep talking about that school for freaks. It's nothing special, so why do you keep making a big deal out of it?" She snapped angrily.

"Petunia…" Their mum's voice held a sharp note of warning.

Severus sneered, "You didn't think it was a school for freaks when you wrote—"

He was cut off by Zinnia when she reached over Lily and pinched his arm, hard.

"Ow! What was that for?" He glowered at her, arm still smarting from the pinch. Zinnia subtly shook her head. She didn't want Lily and Petunia's relationship to deteriorate any further; it was already bad enough. Lily loved her sisters a lot, so much to the point where she could forgive them for anything. Zinnia knew that Lily desperately wanted to fix her relationship with Petunia, but didn't know how.

Lily shot Severus a confused look. "What?" Petunia's cheeks were flushed with embarrassment but she kept silent, afraid that Severus would reveal the letter she wrote to Dumbledore.

"Nothing." He said quietly. Zinnia was shooting him death glares, and he didn't want Lily to be unhappy. So he kept quiet about the subject and tried to divert her attention. The adults shot glances towards Petunia, but didn't say anything as well. Their mum had a good idea of what Severus was about to say, seeing as she was the one to clean Petunia's room all the time.

The conversation flowed freely after that awkward bump, and Zinnia followed Petunia's example and stared out the window, losing herself to heavy thoughts.

The outside scenery passed by in a blur, and they were moving too quickly towards the station, in her opinion. She was feeling apprehensive to see Lily and Severus go; Zinnia didn't want to imagine a whole year without them. They were constants in her life, and she didn't know what she would do, now that she wouldn't be going out and spending time with them every day. A frighteningly empty feeling sparked in her, and she felt lost. Like she had just thrown herself into an empty chasm with no way out. In a way, the two of them had become the shining suns in her life—though Severus had anything but a bright personality—and she was loathe to see them go. It would be a year before she went to Hogwarts, and that would be longer than a lifetime. Her mum shot her a sympathetic glance, guessing her thoughts. Her parents knew the isolation she felt, due to her maturity and inability to get along well with other children her age. Severus and Lily, sadly, were her only friends, now that Petunia deemed herself too "cool" to hang out with them anymore.

"Okay kids, we're here!" Grinned her dad, as he turned opened the door. Lily and Severus burst out from their seats in excitement, and followed Lily's dad to the back trunk where all their luggage had been piled up.

After heaving out all the cases in the back, and grabbing the owl cages from the front seat, they began walking into the station.

"We'd better hurry or we'll be late for the train." Lily's mum told them nervously.

"How are we supposed to get onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters again?" Her husband asked her, scratching his head with irritation and confusion.

Zinnia rolled her eyes, "Don't worry dad, I'll take you guys there." She stopped at the brick column that separated Platforms Nine and Ten, and pointed at it.

"Just run through that." Lily shot her an incredulous but thrilled look—she really wanted to try it.

"I do recall mum saying something like that." Severus said, staring at the intimidating bricks.

Time was passing quickly, and Zinnia sighed with exasperation.

"Just watch me and follow me, okay?" She told them seriously. "Bunch of scaredy cats." She muttered under her breath, as she ran towards the wall. Lily protested indignantly at Zinnia's statement.

With a rush of air, she was on the other side, passing through the bricks feeling like she'd just run through molasses and a whirlpool combined into one. Smirking to herself, she guessed that Lily would be the next to pass through.

Sure enough, Lily's flaming, bright red hair whipped out of the bricks, and she appeared with a breathless laugh.

"That was amazing!" Zinnia just grinned and waved her over, making sure the thick smoke from the train wasn't obscuring her too much. Lily made her way over and waited for the rest of their group to arrive. Severus was next, and he immediately ran over to them, not even bothering to hide his laugh of anticipation and glimmering eyes upon seeing the train.

The next was Lily's dad, and he pushed the cart with all the luggage over to them with the strangest expression on his face.

"I think that was one of the most spectacular things I've ever experienced." He told them a bit distantly, eyes still glazed from the experience.

Finally, Petunia appeared with her mum dragging her along. Her mum ushered over to the waiting group, and like the many other parents on the platform, began smothering Lily and Severus with hugs.

"You two are all grown up," she sniffed, blinking back tears, "It seems like only yesterday you three were running around with dirty knees and ripped clothes. I love you guys, and I'll definitely miss you two! And don't forget to write. Especially you, Severus." She directed the last part at Severus sternly, wanting him to feel a part of their family. He blushed, the red contrasting sharply against his pale cheeks, and nodded. Lily hugged her mum and dad tightly, then reached for Zinnia and Petunia. Petunia allowed herself to be hugged for about one second and immediately ripped herself away, hissing with embarrassment and annoyance.

"You two had better write to me, or else." Zinnia told them, loneliness already creeping up on her like a slow trickle of water before the roaring river.

Lily pulled her into a warm embrace again, "Of course! I'll tell you all about Hogwarts, and I'll send anything useful over, okay? I love you!" Zinnia nodded and replied with her own "I love you". Petunia stood off by the side, staring at them with an unreadable expression. Lily started towards her, but she turned her head sharply and edged away. Bitter sadness filled Lily, and she turned to her parents again.

Similarly, Zinnia turned to Severus. Neither of them were very touchy people, so Zinnia opted for a firm handshake. He smirked at her, and she gave one in return.

"I'll watch over Lily." He promised her, and Zinnia nodded solemnly.

"You'd better. Good luck, I know you'll be one of the best at Hogwarts." The train let out a piercing whistle, and Severus and Lily jumped.

Exchanging frantic glances, they clambered towards the train while waving goodbye.

* * *

Lily grappled with her heavy trunk and owl cage, and Severus did the same. They were still young and rather short, so their cases easily weighed a quarter of their weights. Finally shoving their trunks into a compartment, they sat down wearily but with bubbling enthusiasm sparking between them.

"Can I sit here?" Came a young, male voice. Lily glanced up to see a boy with messy black hair and sparkling hazel eyes. His glasses were slightly crooked, she noted while taking in his sudden appearance.

"Sure!" She told him. He sat down, and another boy appeared at the door of their compartment before Lily could say anything. Severus glanced wearily at the two and Lily shot him a look that said _play nice_. He lifted his shoulder slightly in agreement but continued to look sourly out the window, now that his comfortable companionship with Lily was interrupted.

"Got room for one more?" The boy at the door asked. He had elegant, smooth features that were still developing. He brushed his shaggy black bangs out of his eyes.

"Yeah, why not?" The hazel eyed boy told him, grinning widely. "I'm James Potter." He told them, after they were all settled down.

"Sirius Black." Answered the newest addition to the compartment.

Severus' dark eyes narrowed slightly with recognition—his mum had told him all about the prominent Dark families. "Severus Snape." He said curtly, and turned away.

Lily rolled her eyes and smiled brightly, "Don't mind him, he's just a bit grumpy. Sev's really a softie under all that scowl. I'm Lily Evans."

"Lily!" Severus protested, slightly embarrassed. Sirius and James burst out laughing.

Cheeks burning, he settled for glowering at them unhappily.

"I'm just joking, Sev, you know that." Lily said, surprised by his strong reaction. "Come on, we're finally going to Hogwarts!"

"Yeah, I know." He muttered, feeling a rush of anger towards the sniggering boys. He looked slightly more cheerful at the mention of Hogwarts.

"You'd better be in Slytherin." He told her, not wanting to be separate from his best friend.

James perked up at this statement, "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" He directed his question at Sirius, who was looking a bit awkward.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin." He replied, avoiding eye contact. Squirming uncomfortably, he glanced over at Severus, who was giving him an unreadable, penetrating stare.

"Blimey," James exclaimed, "And I thought you seemed alright!" He added good-naturedly, flashing Sirius a crooked grin. At this, Sirius relaxed slightly.

"Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

James immediately jumped up, grinning wildly and lifting an imaginary sword. "Gryffindor, of course, where the brave dwell at heart! Like my dad!"

Severus looked at him in disdain and made a disparaging noise.

Lily tensed, sensing an argument about to spring up. Zinnia and Severus were good friends, but they sometimes would disagree on a few of their theories, and would quickly descend into nasty name-calling and fighting.

She hurriedly interjected, "Slytherin and Gryffindor both sound good to me! I wonder how we'll be Sorted though, Zin didn't mention anything about it." The latter part of her statement was directed at Severus, who was the only other person who knew about Zinnia's Seer abilities.

Sirius twitched, recognizing the first part of the name but remained silent.

"Who's Zin?" Asked James loudly, cutting in before Severus could respond to Lily. Severus shot him a dirty look, irritation and anger rapidly building up.

"She's my sister." Answered Lily shortly. She'd just realized with horror how close she'd been to revealing Zinnia's secret, and she kept silent about the subject when James peppered her with questions. Grimacing, she directed the conversation towards the different subjects they'd be learning, and sufficiently distracted James.

Severus kept quiet throughout the entire conversation, opting to continue staring out the window, no matter how many times Lily tried to bring him into the conversation. He could tell James and Sirius were arrogant gits, and Lily had barely diverted the impeding argument.

Sirius and James soon discovered that they got along like fire to wood, and they quickly launched into a discussion about elaborate pranks they'd played on others before, accidentally excluding Lily.

She turned away, facing Severus and engaged him in a different conversation. The pairs didn't interact much with each other after that, and James and Sirius found that while Lily was very nice, they didn't like how stuck-up Severus was acting.

The train arrived in no time at all, and the four had already changed into their robes.

"Well, it was nice meeting you two." Lily told them, remaining polite. In all honesty, she'd found James and Sirius to be exhaustingly obnoxious and loud; she was too used to the quietly dry company of Zinnia and Severus.

Sirius nodded at her politely, before turning back to James, continuing their animated discussion about dungbombs.

James called out as Lily and Severus were walking away, "See ya, Evans, Snape!"

Waving slightly, Lily gently tugged Severus towards a separate boat from the two boys, and the duo sat down calmly. The giant man who'd been shouting, "Firs' years!" was now at the head of the group, holding up a lantern and standing on a boat that surprisingly didn't break under his heavy weight.

There were two other girls in the boat with Lily and Severus, and they quickly introduced themselves as Dorcas Meadowes and Marlene McKinnon. Lily took an immediate liking to them. Dorcas seemed rather shy, and Marlene more outspoken, but they seemed like they would be great friends to have.

"I didn't like Potter or Black." Muttered Severus quietly to Lily, trying not to let Dorcas or Marlene hear.

Lily frowned slightly. She didn't like talking about people behind their backs, but she hadn't really liked them either. They seemed like fun people, but they didn't have much respect for others.

"Well, they were alright." She whispered back, before changing the subject and drawing Dorcas and Marlene into the conversation.

Severus sat back, satisfied that Lily hadn't liked them either, and listened to the girls chatter.

As they approached Hogwarts, all conversation suddenly ceased—they were all too enthralled by the sheer massiveness and beauty of Hogwarts to say anything.

Brightly lit and intricately designed, Hogwarts was a sight to behold, and Lily swore she would never forget this moment.

Upon their arrival, Professor McGonagall greeted them, and Lily perked up with recognition.

Following her into the castle, Lily and Severus let their eyes wander, enraptured, and they were too distracted by the castle to say anything else.

All the first years followed her two messy lines, and they stopped at the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall pushed open the heavy oak doors, and they all stepped inside, gaping with amazement.

"I will call out your names and you will come up to be Sorted by the hat." McGonagall told them sternly, and she pulled out a long parchment and began to read from it. Lily and Severus exchanged nervous glances, but they were exhilarated to finally be at Hogwarts.

Butterflies swarmed in Lily's stomach, and she soon heard her name being called. She could feel herself shaking a little, but she straightened her spine, and walked towards the hat as confidently as she could; not showing one but of fear on her face. Zinnia would be proud of her poker face.

She quickly placed the Hat on her head, and nearly jumped with surprise when she heard a voice in her head.

 _Hmmmm, you're very intelligent, but I can see so much courage and strength in you._

 _Slytherin?_ She asked the Hat, wanting to be in the same House as Severus.

 _I'm afraid not, it'd better be_ GRYFFINDOR! The Hat roared out the last part, and Lily felt her heart jump with excitement and nervousness. She glanced sadly at Severus and he met her gaze with equally disappointed eyes. The Gryffindor table burst into cheers for her, and she smiled, walking towards the green and gold table with her head held high. As she passed the Unsorted first years, James smirked at her, recalling the conversation they'd had on the train. She huffed at him, annoyed by his arrogance, and ignored his call of "Congrats, Evans!"

As she waited patiently for Severus to be sorted, Sirius, who was next to her, nudged her when it was James' turn.

"Bet you ten Galleons it's Gryffindor within a second."

Lily just rolled her eyes. "I haven't enough money to gamble with you. And besides, he's so dead set on being Gryffindor that I think he could hardly be anything else."

Sirius shrugged, "Suit yourself."

"GRYFFINDOR!" Screamed the Hat before it even touched James' head. Sirius flashed Lily a triumphant look and burst into applause for James. Lily clapped a few times politely.

When it was finally Severus' turn, she leaned forward slightly, ignoring the jeers of James and Sirius, who were sitting near her.

"Snape, Severus!" Called McGonagall, and Severus walked up to the Hat calmly, hiding his nerves from the outside world. He carefully placed the Hat on his head, and waited.

 _Lots of potential here, lots. Looks like it's_ SLYTHERIN!

He jumped off the stool happily, but looked a bit crestfallen once he realized that Lily wasn't in the same House as him. She met his eyes from across the room as he settled next to his applauding Housemates. Smiling at him, Lily tried to assure him the nothing would change.

After the Sorting, Dumbledore gave a short and fascinating speech, and once he clapped his hands, food immediately appeared on the table. Lily laughed in delight—she'd never seen so much food before, and she knew Zinnia would love to be here, stuffing her face with all the delicious smelling food.

The first years were rounded up after dinner, and Lily was led to the Gryffindor dorms, where she happily discovered that her roommates were Dorcas and Marlene, whom she'd really connected with on the boat. Feeling her lack of sleep the previous night and the excitement of the day catch up with her, she immediately fell into a contented sleep.

* * *

Zinnia groaned. She was so, so bored without Lily and Severus, it wasn't even funny. She loved having time alone for herself, but without Lily and Severus, she felt like there was a huge, gaping hole in her life.

Dragging the heavy book about curses she'd borrowed from Eileen towards her face, Zinnia rolled onto her stomach and tried to concentrate on the words.

 _Argh,_ she thought, annoyed, _fuck this. I'm so done. I've been doing nothing but read for weeks, and I'm pretty sure reading's an equivalent to drowning myself at this point._ Sitting up, she dragged a hand through her tangled, shoulder length hair with frustration. She still hadn't found a solution for Eileen Snape, and it was slowly killing her inside.

There wasn't much she could think of anymore—there wasn't much she could do without Tobias making a big deal out of it and leading Voldemort to discover Eileen's location.

A soft knock echoed on her window and she turned to see Lily's owl, Hestia, who let out a soft hoot. Ambling over to the window, Zinnia pulled it open and pulled two letters from Hestia's leg. She pet her softly, and murmured, "Thanks." Hestia nipped her finger gently and hopped into her room.

"You can go to the kitchen if you want some food." She told Hestia calmly, knowing that her parents would be more than happy to receive Lily's letters for them and feed the owl food.

Opening the two pieces of parchment, she noted that one of the letters was from Severus', who had probably been too lazy to use his own owl. Zinnia opened the one from Lily first.

 _Hey Zin,_

 _I've been having an absolutely wonderful time here! There are so many classes I'm taking—out of them all, I think Charms, Potions, and Transfiguration are my favorites. As you might have guessed, Sev's in love with DADA (Defense Against the Dark Arts), but he's absolutely brilliant at Potions too. Slughorn's our teacher for Potions, and he's been showering Sev and I with compliments ever since we brewed our first potion. He's kinda obsessed with famous people, and thankfully hasn't been pestering me as much since he found out I'm Muggleborn. The prejudice against Muggleborns annoy me so much though! Mary McDonald's another Muggleborn, and she's already been hexed twice by the Slytherins. Thankfully, I haven't been attacked yet; mostly because I'm always with Sev, and he's in Slytherin. I guess they have this thing about not hurting one of their own? The rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin is brutal though. Everyone always stare at me and Sev since we're the only ones who are friends from our respective Houses. I guess it's a strange thing. And speaking of bullies, I've met the most annoying guy here. At first, I thought he was a good guy, but he started bullying Sev out of nowhere! His name is James Potter, and I swear, he's the most arrogant toerag I've ever met. I don't think anyone in our school has quite as big an ego as his. He's already bullied Sev a few times, and they always get into fights. I guess it started because Sev is from Slytherin. I seriously hate this whole House division thing! It's driving me crazy! Thankfully, I've been having a wonderful time besides this whole James and Sev thing, and I've made some great friends. I really want you to meet Dorcas and Marlene when you come to Hogwarts next year—they're amazing! Anyway, I've been doing very well so far, and Sev and I are at the top of our classes (not to brag or anything). I haven't found anything you'd find particularly interesting from the library yet—mostly because I've been studying for my midterms—but I've attached some clippings from the Daily Prophet that are about the Dark Lord and his attacks. So far, they've been relatively light—mostly, I think, because he's still gathering followers and strengthening his forces. To end on a happier note, I hope you're doing well, and I hope you can make some new friends at our primary school! We'll be home for the holidays, and I'm looking forward to seeing you guys again._

 _Lots of love,_

 _Lily_

Zinnia couldn't resist a burst of laughter at the James part; mostly because she knew how their relationship was going to end up like. Smiling fondly to herself, she rolled up the letter and placed it on her desk with care. She set aside the clippings for later—she needed to focus on the problems closest to her for now.

The second letter was from Severus, and it was considerably shorter.

 _Zinnia,_

 _I hope you're doing well. Hogwarts is a fascinating place, and I've found so many books in the library; you should see how many books they have here. Unfortunately, the restricted section has the more interesting books, but I need permission in order to access those books. However, I've attached a potion that I think you will find most intriguing._

 _I know Lily has definitely mentioned that I'm being bullied to you. I am not. I am merely defending myself against the most annoying human being you will ever meet. James Potter is not only annoying, he is arrogant, a git, a swine, and a bunch more unfavorable words I will not bother writing down. His friend, Sirius Black, is no better, and they've managed to drag Remus Lupin—a fairly tolerable Gryffindor— into their foolish pranks._

 _Lily and I have been doing extremely well in our classes, and Defense Against the Dark Arts is a wonderful class. The only class we do not excel in is Flying, but that is only a class for first years, so thankfully, we will not be taking it for the rest of our time here._

 _I have also attached a few essays I think you should review—they have interesting theories. Good luck, and I will see you during the holidays._

 _Severus_

Snorting loudly, Zinnia rolled up the parchment and placed it next to Lily's letter in her desk. Severus was so awkward sometimes; it showed in his letters. She removed the attachments and placed them on her bed where she would later read them. After reading their letters, she'd had a moment of inspiration.

The house was relatively quiet as she called out to her mum that she would be leaving the house for a bit. Slipping on her shoes, Zinnia cursed the fashion style of the 70s that was currently impeding her run to the Snape's cottage.

She snuck into the cottage breathlessly, and softly opened the door to Eileen's room. Eileen Snape was reading a rather thick book when she entered.

Eileen raised an eyebrow at her disheveled appearance. "Hello, Zinnia. What brings you here today?"

"I think I've got an idea. You're a Prince, right? They're Purebloods, but you never got your parents' permission to marry Snape. So that means, your marriage is null. And, Snape won't be able to track you down, because legally, you can wipe his memories. The Ministry can't complain because it's a void marriage contract."

Eyes wide, Eileen stood up sharply. "That's right, I can't believe I never realized that. My parents are dead, but I'm sure I can pull up some old documents somewhere…"

For the rest of the week, Zinnia and Eileen busied themselves with the legal processes with the Ministry and finally received the approval to wipe Tobias Snape's memories and implant false ones, giving him a new life without Eileen and Severus.

 _Good riddance,_ she thought snidely. Tobias Snape deserved to live and die in a gutter, in her opinion.

Zinnia smirked, she couldn't wait to share the news with Severus when he came back for the holidays. Though now, he was technically Severus Prince. It would be a pain to change his last name, but she figured it'd give him some form of invulnerability in Slytherin—they were all about Pureblood families, after all.

It would be a good year, and even if Lily and Severus weren't here, Zinnia would make the best of it.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed this story! I'm trying to update whenever I can, but it takes a while to write each chapter. Please let me know how you think the story is going, and leave some constructive criticism. Do you think there should be more scenes with the Marauders? And as usual, thanks for reading!**


	6. I know I'll wither so peel away the bark

**Reply to guest review: Thank you for the advice! I'll try to portray Sirius better from now on. And thanks for reading!**

* * *

Christmas break was approaching quickly, and Severus was feeling annoyed and suspicious. Lily had recently received a letter from Zinnia, and when Severus saw her the next day, she had kept glancing at him and grinning wildly. It was mildly disconcerting to have her keep staring at him with a look that screamed _I know something you don't_ —and clearly, she was itching to say something about it; though every time Severus asked her about it, she'd start grinning and then tell him she didn't know what he was talking about. It was quickly getting on his nerves, because they went through this routine at least once a day, and he'd been asking for almost over a week already. Her strange behavior clearly had something to do with Zinnia's letter, but when Severus had opened and read his letter, he'd found it severely lacking in length. It read:

 _Severus,_

 _I'm glad you're doing well. Thank you for the attachments from your previous letter—I found them very intriguing and thought-provoking, just as you had guessed. I have missed you and Lily very much, and I am looking forward to the holidays._

 _Your friend,_

 _Zinnia_

Her letter had only been three sentences. _Three_. Obviously, there was something missing here. Severus had written a fair amount in his last letter, and their previous correspondences had been a lot longer. And judging by the length of the parchment Lily had been clutching when she'd received her letter, Zinnia's letter to her had been much longer. Severus didn't have anything against that; he was just feeling left out for the first time in a long time since the three had met. They'd always had a close relationship and told each other all their secrets. But it seemed like there was something going on that Severus was not privy to.

Grumbling angrily under his breath, Severus turned his attention back to the Potions textbook he'd been studying in the library for his midterms.

There was a quiet thump from the chair next to him, and Severus looked up.

"Hey Sev!" Lily said brightly, looking at him and grinning that annoyingly secretive grin again. "Sorry I'm late, I just got back from my dorm. Mare's planning a Christmas party for the girls before we all leave for the holidays. She's really into this kinda stuff."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Marlene McKinnon? It's not surprising at all, considering the type of person she is." In his opinion, McKinnon was a rather brash and outgoing girl who'd become fast friends with Lily; being her dorm mate and all. Meadowes, her better half, was a quiet, reserved girl who accompanied McKinnon in all her endeavors.

Rolling her eyes but smiling fondly, Lily smacked his shoulder lightly.

"You're only saying that 'cause you don't know her. Why don't you come with me when I hang out with Dorcas and her?"

Severus flashed her a disgusted look. "A Slytherin boy hanging out with three Gryffindor girls? No thanks, I'd like to keep my pride and I'd rather not be outed by the Slytherins as a traitor."

At this, Lily flashed him a worried look, "Are they still bothering you because we're best friends?"

The Slytherins tended to be bigoted Pureblood elitists when it came to Muggleborns. They definitely didn't approve of Severus' friendship with Lily, and to make matters worse, he had a distinctly muggle last name, thanks to his father. Thankfully, they'd left him alone after he'd cursed a few of the ones who'd been trying to set his bed on fire, and the Slytherins recognized his talent. It was a good thing that Slytherins respected power; as long as you had power, they'd leave you alone. Severus just had to make sure he stayed on top of things, and stayed a couple hundred strides in front of the other first years.

"I'm fine Lily, don't worry about me. They don't really care that much anymore." Severus attempted to mollify her, and Lily nodded hesitantly with a still slightly concerned look.

"Besides," he continued, "I should be saying that to you. Don't those idiotic Gryffindors loathe Slytherins with a burning passion? Especially that Potter and his gang of buffoons." He spat out the last part with every inch of revulsion he had in his being.

Lily sighed, this was an age-old argument. "I completely agree with you about Potter—his pranks can go way too far sometimes—but not all Gryffindors are like that, Sev. Besides, I'm a Gryffindor too. You shouldn't let Potter and his friends form your opinion about Gryffindors."

"You know I don't mean _you_. And maybe I wouldn't have let Potter form my opinion if I hadn't seen a bunch of other Gryffindors hexing the life out of some other first year Slytherins."

There was nothing Lily could say to that. Both Gryffindors and Slytherins could be horrible bullies, and no one ever said or did anything about it. Both Houses were so biased in their opinions of the other that seeing an inter-House friendship like hers and Severus' was just about as common as seeing the sky rain hard-boiled eggs.

"I know," she groaned, "I wish this whole House rivalry would just stop. Marlene, Dorcas, and I can't even walk around without wondering if we're going to get attacked by a random Slytherin." She glanced up at Severus and then quickly looked away, "Especially since I'm a Muggleborn." The last part had been muttered under her breath, and Severus' face turned stormy.

Lily wasn't blind to the prejudice against Muggleborns, and with Voldemort's rampage against Muggleborns going on, many Slytherins had been voicing their derogatory opinions about Muggleborns more often through their over-excessive usage of the word "Mudblood". The first time Lily had heard someone call her that, she'd been confused; but she could tell that it was definitely not a friendly word. She'd been walking out of her joint History of Magic class with the Ravenclaws, and surprisingly, Potter had been the one to whip out his wand while hissing, _Don't you_ ever _call her that again_. Later, Lily had asked Severus about it, and he'd furiously explained its meaning while quizzing her on the person who had said it—he'd need to teach that person a lesson or two about messing with his best friend.

Quietly, the two of them turned back to their textbooks, both buried deep in wandering and swirling thoughts.

The midterms were right before Christmas break, and Lily couldn't wait for her exams to be over and she was more than ready to see her family. Hogwarts was enchanting and breathtaking in the way that she learned and experienced things she never had before; but she did miss the familiar comfort of her family. She was glad that she had Severus with her, but she really wanted one of her mum's tight hugs that made her feel all was right with the world, and one of her dad's corny jokes that everyone laughed at simply because of the way he said them, and Zinnia's deadpan expressions—hell, she even missed Petunia's voice and presence.

She and Severus had studied like mad, barely having time to do anything other than attend classes, eat, and sleep. Marlene had teased her, saying that if she didn't watch out, she'd find her hands permanently attached to her books. Still, Lily didn't care about what other Gryffindors thought of her study habits—she quickly pushed away the irritating memory of Potter's voice saying, _Careful, Evans, wouldn't want you to live and die in the library from studying too much; that'd be way too boring for someone like you_ —she studied for herself.

Being a Muggleborn in a prejudiced school wasn't easy, especially since she was a girl. There was still a somewhat chauvinistic and sexist mindset in some of the boys, and Lily wanted to prove that she was better than what they thought. That she was more than someone defined by her blood status—not that it mattered much to her—and that she was more than capable of becoming one of the top witches in her year. Voldemort was _wrong_ , Muggleborns weren't any different, and they deserved the same rights and treatment as Purebloods or Halfbloods. This bias against Muggleborns wasn't going to take her down, and neither was the war.

The day of the finals had arrived, and Lily was frantically flipping through the pages of her History of Magic textbook, trying to cram in some last minute details. She was seated on the comfiest couch in the Gryffindor common room—she had woken up at 4 just to snatch it—and she could feel her heart pounding loudly in her chest.

 _Oh Merlin_ , she thought, groaning to herself, _I'm going to fail for sure. All of their names sound the same! Why are there so many wars? Ugh, I'll never remember all this._

She sat up suddenly, trying to snap herself out of her quickly increasing fall into the depths of academic despair. _No, stop it Lily. You can do this. You'll pass. You got this._

Next to her, Remus Lupin was looking rather frazzled as well.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Lily." He told the frantic girl kindly, "And I know because you've studied a lot more than I have—I've seen you in the library every time I've gone. I'm not sure how well I'm going to do though…" He trailed off, thinking about all the times James and Sirius had dragged him into their pranks, successfully distracting him from studying.

"Oh Remus, you'll be fine." Lily smiled, placing a soft hand on his arm, "You've studied hard as well. Don't let yourself down." She took a deep breath. "We can do this, alright? This one measly History of Magic test isn't going to take us down. C'mon! We'd better get some breakfast so we don't take the test on an empty stomach."

Remus smiled gently at her, "Thanks, Lily. I guess we should go for breakfast now. Whatever happens, happens. We've studied enough, hopefully."

Lily just grinned and tugged him along with her. She and Remus had gotten quite close after continuously running in to each other at the library. They'd become study buddies, of some sort, and Lily liked to think they were rather good friends now. He was the only boy in Potter's group that she found likable; she liked his soft manners and his dry humor—it actually reminded her of Zinnia and Severus, though they tended to be a bit more severe in their sarcasm.

After breakfast, Lily found herself launched into a series of long and tedious tests. Thankfully, Lily found herself speeding through each of them. She was silently relieved; she knew most of the answers on the test, and had completed them with ease. All the tests exhausted her, and by the end of the day, she was feeling a bit listless and very sleepy.

"Lily, you _have_ to go to the party, okay? It's just in the common room, and it's only for a few hours. You can leave early if you want." Marlene told her, standing firmly in front of her bed.

Lily yawned hugely and looked uncertain. She really was tired, and she hadn't stopped by to ask Severus about how his tests had gone yet.

"Please? I spent a lot of time doing this, and not to mention, it was very difficult to wrangle the common room for a few hours from the upperclassmen." Begged Marlene.

"Fine," Lily agreed with a drowsy smile, "Only for a bit."

"Yes!" Cheered Marlene, "I'm gonna go get dressed and you'd better be at the party by the time I'm done!"

"Need help?" Offered Lily, a bit reluctant to expend whatever energy she had left on a party.

"Nah, Dory's got it. Thanks though!" Marlene skipped away happily.

Lily sighed and made her way down the stairs. _I hope there's food_ , she moodily thought to herself. She usually was all for parties, but the exams had really drained her, and she wasn't really in the mood for celebrating when there'd be plenty of time for that tomorrow.

"Evans!" Called an annoying familiar voice. Lily groaned and turned around to see James Potter, with Sirius Black close behind him (like he always was).

"Glad to see the exams finally over? I know I am; the History of Magic test was so hard I nearly shat a brick." James offered a friendly smile.

Remus coughed delicately at this, and Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you for your…descriptive retelling, Potter. But yes, I'm glad the exams are over, and I can't wait to go home to see my family." Lily brightened considerably as she mentioned her family.

"Aww, won't you miss me, Evans?" James batted his eyelashes at her cheekily. Sirius snorted and Remus rolled his eyes with an apologetic expression towards Lily. Peter just laughed, but stopped when Lily glared at him.

"No," Lily snapped, "I will not miss you or your fat head, Potter."

"You wound my delicate twelve year old heart, Evans! I know I'll miss you." He grinned flirtatiously and Lily's cheeks reddened with anger and embarrassment.

"Shut up, Potter." She hissed, and turned towards Remus. "Have a good holiday, Remus." She told him kindly, and he replied in kind before she stomped away, trying to get away from James.

James smirked, "I think she likes me." Remus just slapped a hand to his face while Sirius barked out laughter and threw an arm around James' shoulder.

"Yes, I'm sure she does." He told James, sarcasm filling his tone.

James didn't seem to notice and grinned proudly, "Right? I can't help that I'm so popular with the girls."

Peter nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah!" While Sirius started snickering so hard he had to turn his face away. Remus just looked up towards the ceiling and asked himself for the hundredth time he was friends with them.

The next afternoon, Lily was standing with Severus at the train station, clutching a bag in her hand while searching for her family.

"Over here!" Called her dad, waving his arm rapidly from side to side. Lily's face lit up and she smiled widely, pulling Severus behind her as they went up to meet the rest of the Evans.

"Mum! Dad!" She squealed, joy and contentment washing over her in soothing waves. They grinned down at her and Lily threw her arms around her parents in a giant bear hug.

"It's good to see you." Murmured her mum, squeezing her tightly. "And Severus, it's so good to see you too." She told the silent boy, reaching out to give him a hug as well.

"Y-yeah." He told her distractedly, his attention fixed on the slender, black-haired woman standing quietly next to the Evans couple.

"M-mum? Why are you here?" He asked in awe and confusion, before a shock of fear sparked his panicking. "Mum! You can't be here; you have to go back before dad gets home!" Severus' eyes were wild with horror and he grabbed his mum's arm, trying to drag her in the direction of the exit.

"Wow," muttered Zinnia from next to Lily, "I think that's the most expression I've seen out of Severus since we meet him."

"Zin!" Gasped Lily, elbowing her sharply in the side, "What Sev's dad did to them wasn't funny!" But Lily softened, looking at her sister and smiling with a touch of nostalgia—she'd missed her sister's dry (and sometimes dark) humor. "I've missed you though."

"It's only been a few months, not a lifetime." Zinnia snorted, but she returned Lily's smile. "I've missed you too."

Petunia just rolled her eyes, and shuffled towards Lily.

"Welcome back." She muttered. Lily's whole face lit up like a sunset over dark mountains, and she pulled Petunia into a tight hug.

There were a few awkward beats of silence before Petunia twitched violently and pushed Lily away. She turned her face away and stubbornly refused to look anyone in the eye. Lily just grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"Mum!" Continued protesting Severus, immensely worried for her safety.

Eileen Prince rolled her eyes fondly and gently tugged her son's arm off of her sleeve. "Severus, Tobias is gone."

"Gone?" Echoed Severus, dumbfounded. He felt almost numb, like nothing was real anymore.

"Yes, gone. He'll never bother us again." His mum smiled at him with the most hope and happiness he'd ever seen out of her. Severus could feel tears pooling at the edges of his eyes, and his throat and heart burned with joy.

"How?" He asked hoarsely, determined not to cry in front of everyone. The moment was otherworldly, and he just couldn't wrap his mind around it. " _How?_ "

Eileen smirked, "You should thank your friend Zinnia over here. I was too blinded by my distaste for my past and my family, but she came up with the idea to use the Prince family name. And because your grandparents never approved my marriage, it was technically null. So the Ministry erased his memory and well, here I am."

Sheer happiness rushed through Severus; he couldn't even remember the last time he'd ever felt this much joy. Turning towards Zinnia, he couldn't stop the rush of tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes any second. He'd just realized what Lily had been hiding from him ever since she'd gotten that letter from Zinnia.

" _Thank you_." And it was all he needed to say. She nodded, and her eyes sparked with an emotion that Severus couldn't identify.

"Anything for a friend." She offered him a sincere half-grin, and he returned a slightly watery one.

It was overwhelming for Severus, and was stood there, letting his emotions bloom through his chest. For once, he didn't feel any sadness or pain. His mum pulled him into a hug and returned it fiercely, and the two of them stood there on the platform, lost in an atmosphere of relief and euphoria that came from finally having freedom from years of pain and abuse.

The Evans smiled (excluding Petunia, who was busy trying to pretend she wasn't related to them), watching the touching scene, and for a while, it was like the world was only made of hope and happiness. Like there wasn't a war, like the world didn't have death and despair swirling through its curves.

That Christmas was the best one they'd had in a while. And it would be one of the best they would have for a long, long time.

With Severus and his mum seated at the Evans' table everything felt fuller, more carefree. It was a wonderful celebration, and each present given and received had only pure sincerity folded into the wrappings. Though Zinnia wasn't too sure about the sincerity behind the pair of ugly, misshapen grey socks Petunia had given Lily and her. She was luckier than Severus, Zinnia supposed, who'd only gotten a pebble commonly found on sidewalks from Petunia. Lily had actually laughed, musing that they were lucky they'd even gotten anything.

By the time Christmas break was almost over, Lily and Severus were loath to leave.

The past few days had felt like a cocoon of warmth and bliss had wrapped itself around their families. Severus and his mum were staying with the Evans for now—Eileen wanted to look for a better home for them but she needed to save up some money first. They were wonderful additions to the house, in the Evans' opinion (excluding Petunia, who thought they deserved to live on the streets); and the two mums became fast friends. Zinnia, who wasn't surprised by this development, only wondered about the past Eileen and what had happened to her. She had died sometime during Severus' late school years, though the reason was unknown. Zinnia didn't want Severus to lose his remaining family member.

The timeline during the Marauder's Era was muddy at most, and there were so many things left unanswered. This irritated Zinnia greatly, but she chose to brood about it in silence. If her dark mood and contemplative mood had been noticed by others, they just chose not to comment on it. At this point, everyone knew about Zinnia's tendency to see the world through a negative perspective; and while this worried Lily and their parents greatly, there wasn't much they could do about it. In many ways, Zinnia was just as stubborn as the rest of her family.

"Maybe we shouldn't change your last name to Prince," fretted Zinnia—though it was more of inward fretting than anything—and she frowned at Severus deeply. "Has anyone questioned you about Voldemort yet?"

"No," he answered, rolling his eyes in exasperation. They'd been discussing the same subject for days. "For the last time, I'm only a first year, and I haven't actually built up much of a reputation for myself."

"Still…" Muttered Zinnia, contemplating the possible future situations for Voldemort's recruitment process. "What year do you usually get recruited for the Death Eaters?"

"I have no idea." Sighed Severus peevishly. This was really getting on his nerves—he just wanted to get rid of the hated last name Snape and get on with his life. "I've only been in Slytherin for a few months. How am I supposed to know these things?"

"You're a Slytherin, you're supposed to know how to sneak around and gather information. What have you been doing during your time at Hogwarts?" Zinnia's voice rose slightly with agitation.

"I don't know," snapped Severus sarcastically, "Maybe studying for midterms and getting used to the life at Hogwarts?"

"Guys," tried to soothe Lily, "It's alright. I don't think Sev will be recruited for a while; he's only twelve for Merlin's sake. Please, Zin, stop worrying. You really need to stop thinking about the future and start enjoying the present."

Severus nodded emphatically, shooting Zinnia a churlish look.

"Fine, fine. I'm sorry. Let's just change the name. Even if Voldemort will recognize it and realize that Severus is descended from a powerful Pureblood family and possibly try to recruit him early into the Death Eaters. Which, might I remind you, is a group of ruthless killers that go around murdering and torturing Muggleborns like us." Retorted Zinnia sardonically, irritation heavily lacing her voice.

"Zin…" Said Lily quietly, reaching over to grip her sister's hand tightly. "We'll be okay. Really."

"Look," Severus reasoned, "If they end up trying to recruit all the Slytherins anyway, my last name won't protect me or put me a step above others. I'd have to prove myself first."

"Alright." Zinnia murmured, gazing off into the distance. At least Severus would have some kind of immunity with the Slytherins. From what Severus had told her, they respected power, prestige, and money. "We'll go to Diagon Alley with your mum and change it later today."

Slightly smug that he'd won the argument, Severus flashed a tiny smirk. He met Zinnia's eyes and nodded at her. It was his form of an apology for getting angry when she'd only had his best intentions in mind, and it was an acceptance of her own silent apology.

Lily threw her arms around Zinnia and Severus and grinned widely. "I can't wait until we're all at Hogwarts together. It's going to be so fun!" Zinnia snorted, Lily had been subtly telling her to relax and enjoy her life at Hogwarts.

"Okay." She agreed.

It wasn't long before Lily and Severus were waving goodbye and climbing onto the train, leaving for Hogwarts. They settled down in an empty compartment and Lily pulled out the new Advanced Potions book she'd gotten from their trip to Diagon Alley and started discussing a particularly interesting but difficult potion that could heal broken skulls with Severus. She'd liked the implications it had for the Muggle world—that is, if the wizarding world and the Muggle world ever decided to merge and share ideas.

"Oi." A dark head poked into their compartment and Severus stared at the boy's dark green Slytherin tie before recognizing him as a seventh year. "Heard your mum's a Prince." He directed his statement at Severus, choosing to ignore Lily entirely.

"That's right." Severus answered shortly, raising an eyebrow. He knew news traveled fast, but he hadn't expected it to circulate within the student body _that_ quickly.

The seventh year Slytherin stared at him and nodded. "Good to know, Prince." And swiftly walked away, possibly going off the spread the news to other fellow Slytherins. Slytherins were cunning and usually were liars, but they all knew better than to lie about their blood status and heritage—it'd be too simple to reveal the truth. It was easy to tell lies from truth when everyone was distantly related to each other. Family trees ran miles long, but they were always hung in Slytherin Pureblood homes, so the sight was practically burned into their brains.

"What was _that_ all about?" Asked Lily incredulously, eyeing the spot where the older Slytherin had been.

"Some sort of acceptance as a Half-blood I guess." Muttered Severus awkwardly. Slytherins could be so elitist sometimes.

Lily shrugged, not too clear on Pureblood politics, and not particularly interested in how they went. She _was_ a Muggleborn after all. She figured she'd never really have to know those kind of things, so she might as well save space to learn more important and relevant things.

* * *

The rest of the year actually passed by smoothly. Lily enjoyed her time with her friends, with the occasional harassment from James, and found that studying for finals was a lot scarier and harder than studying for midterms.

Severus, too, was having a relatively easy time. His change in last name had boosted up his status by leaps and bounds, and no one really harassed him and mostly left him alone. He made a few friends, but they were more like allies. His intellectual capacities were far ahead of his age, so he found himself spending most of his time with Lily. It was nearing the end of the year, and the only class he wasn't breezing through was flying.

"Hey!" Lily called, waving him over. It was a joint flying class with the Gryffindors today, so Severus would be sharing a class with her. He walked over to where she was standing uncomfortably. Marlene and Dorcas were next to her, but Severus didn't really know them that well—he didn't know any of the Gryffindors, for that matter, except for Lily. And James Potter, but he didn't count because he was a git.

"Hey Lily." He greeted, nodding awkwardly at her two friends.

Lily grinned excitedly, "I'm pretty excited for this; we'll finally get to fly around!"

"And maybe I won't fall and crack my head open." He muttered, not too enthusiastic about the idea of flying. Lily was naturally courageous and liked to try new things, so she was doing a lot better than most of the girls in her class. On the other hand, Severus liked to keep his feet on the ground where he knew they'd stay. It was one less thing to be wary of—not many people knew how to attack from underground.

Laughing, Lily tugged on Severus' hand. "It won't be that bad, Sev, relax! You'll get used to it."

"I don't think I will." He answered dryly, still not convinced.

"Look who it is," a voice cut into their conversation, "What're you doing so far away from those slimy snakes, Snivellus?" Severus turned to see James Potter with his entourage, and immediately had his defenses up.

They'd given him the name Snivellus after he'd purposely botched up James and Sirius' potion in Potions class. In his defense, he had only been defending Lily—Potter had kept incessantly bothering her, and Severus could tell Lily was trying hard not to hex him into oblivion. So he decided to get a bit of revenge for her. After that incident (it had ended with the potion exploding in their faces and Severus trying to keep a straight face) it'd become an all-out war.

"I don't know," drawled Severus, "What're you doing so far away from your idiotic gorillas? Oh wait, they're right behind you, like they always are."

Lily tried not to smack her face with irritation. This was their forty-second argument of the week—and she was still counting.

"Tarantallegra!" Shouted James, flashing out his wand at Severus. Thankfully, Severus had seen it coming and quickly blocked it with a simple "Protego".

"You two…" Growled Lily. She dragged Severus away from the scene, and flashed a nasty look at James.

"C'mon mate," She heard Sirius tell James, "We'll get him another day."

Later that day, Lily wrote a letter to Zinnia, fuming about the constant fights between Severus and James' gang. There was nothing she could really do to stop them, but she figured Zinnia might have some advice or insight. And finals were approaching, so she definitely didn't have time to deal with their childishness.

* * *

Zinnia was having a pretty satisfying year. She'd gotten Eileen to start teaching her some curses, which were a lot heavier than the jinxes and hexes she'd been reading up on from the books she'd gotten from Diagon Alley. To be honest, she didn't really have much progress in actually casting the spells—she didn't really have anyone to practice on—but she got the gist of it. Mostly, she just wanted to be prepared for Hogwarts. Practicing magic without a wand was frustratingly difficult, but it was a lot better than having a wand and casting illegal magic outside of school.

The next school year would be starting soon, and Zinnia was itching to go to Hogwarts. It sounded amazing, from what she could tell from Lily's letters, and she couldn't wait for the classes. There were still so many things she needed to learn; she still didn't understand transfiguration and herbology. She just couldn't grasp the concept of turning one thing into something else, and she couldn't grow plants to save her life.

A soft and familiar hoot at her window interrupted her thoughts and she quickly opened the window to let Hestia in.

"Thanks." She ruffled Hestia's feathers gently and removed the letters attached to her leg.

She sat back down on her bed and unrolled Lily's letter.

 _Hey Zin,_

 _Finals are coming up and it's been horrible. I've been cooped up in my room and the library studying all day, but there's just too much to go over. I'm a bit apprehensive for my future years at Hogwarts because I heard we'll have something called OWLs in our fifth year. Anyway, I know I sound like a broken record, but James Potter is pissing me off! He and Sev are always getting into fights and it's getting on my nerves. Not one day passes without me having to stop them from sending each other to the Hospital Wing. I have no idea how to make them stop. Any ideas?_

 _And to answer your questions from your previous letter—no, they don't teach Legilimency or Occlumency at Hogwarts. I wish they did, though. Anyway, don't you have Ms. Prince to help you? And inventing new spells or potions are really hard. I think Sev knows more about it though, ask him._

 _Sorry this letter's so short, but I've got to study for finals—they're in three days! I've got loads to tell you when I get back though._

 _Lots of love,_

 _Lily_

Zinnia quickly composed a reply.

 _Lily,_

 _Here's my advice: Boys will be boys. There's nothing you can do._

 _Thanks for the help, and good luck on finals. I've got tons to tell you too._

 _Love,_

 _Zinnia_

Severus' letter was almost as short as her reply, but he'd attached a few essays about inventing spells, so she wasn't too annoyed. Moving towards the door, she decided to show Eileen the essays Severus had sent over and went to try and coerce her into another Legilimency and Occlumency lesson.

Maybe it was because she was trying to cram everything she possibly could before going to Hogwarts, but the days passed quickly, and before she knew it, Lily and Severus had returned for the summer. It was a giant relief to be near them again, and she'd missed talking to them. They discussed just about everything related to magic—Lily was extremely enthusiastic about Hogwarts, and according to her, it was one of the best years she'd ever experienced. They fell back into their old routines quite easily, like nothing had ever changed. But they were growing up, and Lily was turning thirteen this summer. They weren't children anymore. They were growing adolescents, and they had the world to face.

Petunia was already fifteen, and the difference in growth was huge. Lily was tall for her age, but compared to Petunia, she was just a sprout. Zinnia, who was shorter than average, had to endure names like "midget" from her parents and occasionally her siblings.

Severus, too, was growing, and he'd already begun to tower over them. It was rather disconcerting, realized Zinnia, to have to look up at him whenever they talked. So much had changed while they were away, and it was frightening. Because if they had changed so much in one year, what could change in two, or three?

The summer passed by in a flash, and Zinnia found that Severus was a certified genius. He'd already begun to experiment with different potions and spells and was very close to inventing his first jinx. He'd been explaining how it would make people dangle from the air by their ankles, and Lily actually had heartily approved of it—as long as it didn't hurt anyone too much. Zinnia guessed she was looking forward to seeing it used on Potter. The three of them had put their heads together and were currently trying to figure out how to use wandless magic while having a wand. Lily had reported that it was insanely difficult trying to shape the flow of her magic from her wand to her hands. Unfortunately, Zinnia didn't have much input on the practical aspect—she didn't even have a wand.

They were currently at Diagon Alley and Lily had been dragging Zinnia around to different shops the entire day, with Severus lagging behind them.

"And this," said Lily with a flourish, "Is Ollivander's. You can finally get your wand!"

She dragged her inside, and Zinnia almost did a double-take at the dim lighting of the shop. It was creeping her out, and she had a feeling that the old guy, presumably Ollivander, could tell a lot from a person just by looking at them.

"Welcome, welcome." Ollivander told them, gesturing for Zinnia to step forward.

"Ah, yes, Miss Evans. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow." Lily nodded eagerly, glad that he'd remembered her.

"And you?" He asked, turning to Zinnia.

"I'm Zinnia Evans. I'm here to buy a wand."

"Oh yes, yes." He said, peering at her closely. "Let's see…" He rummaged through a bunch of messily placed boxes—Zinnia wondered if ever bothered to clean up his shop—and pulled out a few boxes and placed them on the counter.

"Try this. Twelve inches, yew and dragon heartstring." Zinnia gingerly took the wand from his hand and gave it an awkward wave.

The only lamp lighting up the room exploded.

Ollivander snatched it from her hand and quickly repaired the light. "No, no." He muttered to himself. After about a dozen failed attempts, Zinnia was starting to feel bored out of her mind and a bit terrified that she'd never be able to find a wand. Maybe it had something to do with the way her magic worked—as a Seer, a lot of her magic flowed differently from others, and it tended to concentrate towards her upper body.

"Not to worry, we'll find something for you." Ollivander disappeared into the back of the shop and returned with a beautiful, gleaming wand. "Silver lime with dragon heartstring, ten and a half inches, reasonably supple."

Zinnia waved it carefully and suddenly, she felt her magic flush and swell, and she almost felt like she was on top of the world.

"I think that's the right one." She told him breathlessly, watching the green and gold sparks fall from her wand.

"I think you'll find this wand suited well to your needs." He told her mysteriously, "After all, I haven't sold a silver lime wand for years. They're generally for Seers."

Zinnia froze. _Well, shit_ , she thought, heart pounding quickly. Beside her, Lily tensed up. "But not always for Seers, right?" She asked desperately.

Ollivander smiled vaguely, "I suppose." Zinnia groaned, she really didn't need her wand broadcasting her abilities. She quickly paid the right amount and stepped out of the shop. Lily eyed her wand with awe and worry.

"That was interesting." She commented.

Zinnia snorted, "Very." Clutching her wand tightly, she just hoped that no one would make the connection between her wand and Seers.

The two sisters met up with Severus and his mum, telling them what happened before looking for the rest of the Evans who were trying to find all the second year textbooks. Eileen reassured Zinnia that not many people would notice—silver lime had been popular back in the 1800s so there was a rare chance of someone actually recognizing it.

The time to say goodbye had come all too soon, and Zinnia found herself realizing that she'd miss her parents dearly. They'd loved her and cared for her, and nothing could replace that. She felt a burn of excitement in her chest and turned towards the train excitedly. Petunia had distanced herself from the goodbyes and was standing moodily (as usual) as far away as she possibly could without losing sight of her parents. Waving to her parents and promising to write, Zinnia boarded the train with Lily and Severus right behind her.

The three of them found a compartment, and Zinnia walked in a daze. It almost felt like a dream, to be actually going to Hogwarts.

"Is this real?" She asked Lily as they sat down.

Lily laughed and put her arm around her sister. "Don't worry, it's all real. I felt like this during my first train ride too." Zinnia just gave a wide-eyed stare and her cheeks flushed with anticipation.

"Wait 'till you see the castle." Severus told her, almost grinning. Zinnia nodded and kept her eyes glued to the window, staring, mesmerized, at the passing scenery. She felt like a child. And it'd been so long since she'd felt that way she'd almost forgotten.

When she stepped off the train and caught sight of the castle, her breath caught in her throat. It was glorious. It was everything and more than what she'd expected. Lily just grinned widely.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Zinnia nodded silently, awestruck.

"Sorry Zin," Continued Lily, "First years have to take the boats. We'll see you later, okay? And don't worry about the Sorting. Be brave." Lily flashed her a grin and Severus gave her an encouraging nod.

Zinnia didn't get nervous easily, but her hands were starting to sweat. She clambered into a random boat and sat down, watching Hagrid lift the lantern and motion for the boats to start moving. Hagrid would be a good ally, she thought distantly, and let her attention turn to the wondrous castle in front of her.

"What's your name?" Asked the girl next to her. She had thick, black framed glasses and curly brown hair. "I'm Sybil Trelawney."

Zinnia did a double take. _What the hell?_ She had _not_ been expecting to see her here, or in this timeline for that matter.

"Zinnia Evans." She said, composing herself and sticking her hand out for a handshake.

Sybil took it and solemnly told her, "I'm a Seer." Zinnia nearly face palmed—that kind of talking would get her in trouble one day.

"That's nice." She told her awkwardly and tried not to look too much like she didn't want to be there. It was strange, sitting next to someone who she knew was actually a Seer. Trelawney didn't seem like it, but Zinnia recalled that she'd been the one to tell the Prophecy about Voldemort and Harry. She almost felt like a fraud, with her prophetic dreams.

She replied to all of Sybil's questions and pityingly pathetic attempts at making conversation succinctly. Sybil was pretty spoiled and arrogant, and not to mention weird, but it was understandable, considering that she'd grown up under the immense fame of her great-great-grandmother Cassandra Trelawney.

Spotting McGonagall, Zinnia cut off Sybil's attempts to tell her about the Inner Eye. "I think we're getting Sorted soon." Sybil shrugged and tried to look like she knew what was going on.

They followed McGonagall into the Great Hall, and Zinnia immediately searched for Lily. Their gazes met and Lily have her a proud smile and a thumbs up. Zinnia relaxed a bit, feeling a lot more comforted with Lily's encouragement. She turned around and Severus gave her a subtle nod.

"Black, Regulus." Called McGonagall. Zinnia leaned forward, interested in seeing the boy who would later die defying Voldemort. A small, rather handsomely elegant boy stepped forward. He looked a bit like Sirius, from what Zinnia could remember, but had more refined looks, compared to his brother's wild ones.

"Slytherin!" The Hat shouted, after a few moments of deliberation. Regulus' face didn't change as he stepped of the stool and walked towards the Slytherin table that was exploding with applause, glad to get someone from the Black family. Zinnia shrugged and turned away. His Sorting had actually been a bit anticlimactic, in her opinion. She didn't know what she'd been expecting but it certainly hadn't been this normal. Then again, Regulus had been a Voldemort fanatic until he was eighteen, so Zinnia didn't expect much out of him. He was human, like her, after all.

"Evans, Zinnia." She gulped and walked calmly towards the hat, looking as unruffled as she could.

 _Ahhhh,_ said the Hat, looking into her memories, _looks like we have a Seer. And from a different world, no less. It's definitely not Ravenclaw, there's no drive to get smarter. Only a drive for power. Though your loyalty could land you in Hufflepuff._

 _What about Gryffindor?_ Zinnia asked, wanting to stay with her sister.

 _With your sister, Lily? You wouldn't fit in there, though. With that cunning and desire for power, it'd better be_ SLYTHERIN!

 _Oh, fuck_. Zinnia thought. The silence cut through her as she walked towards the green and silver table, filled with dread. With her looks and her blatantly Muggle last name, it was obvious that she was related to Lily and was a Muggleborn. And Slytherins hated Muggleborns with a burning passion. Zinnia was now 99% sure she'd end up dead before she even got to fight in the war.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Thank you again to all the people who reviewed, followed, and favorited!**

 **I've been trying to make this as accurate as possible in terms of where Harry Potter takes place, via the internet (like insults, etc.). Sadly, as an ignorant American, I have a poor understanding of British culture, so I'm trying my best. Please let me know if there are any issues or mistakes.**

 **And for those who are wondering why I put Trelawney in the same year as Zinnia—I looked her up on the Harry Potter wiki, and it seems that she's estimated to have been born around the time as Zinnia. So I decided, why not put her in here?**

 **I'm also not that well-read about the classes and teachers in Hogwarts during this time at Hogwarts, so please, please let me know if there are any inaccuracies.**

 **As a side note: This story will get a lot darker from this point on. Slytherin is not a nice place to be when you're a Muggleborn and when there's a war against Muggleborns going on at the same time. And Zinnia's point of view will be getting the spotlight—I'll still focus on the Gryffindors and Lily, but there's going to be a lot of Slytherin from now on.**

 **And as usual, thanks for reading!**


	7. because nothing grows when it is dark

The hall's silence was unnerving and Zinnia's head was buzzing. She felt numb as she walked over to the green and silver table in a daze. Glancing towards Lily anxiously, Zinnia tried to keep her face composed and devoid of emotion. But judging by the horrified look Lily was giving her from the Gryffindor table, Zinnia probably had a deer-in-headlights expression on. Ignoring the piercing stares of almost everyone in the room, she sat down at the end of the table on the edge of the bench. She didn't really want to be surrounded by Muggleborn hating kids with knives. Clearing her throat, McGonagall kept going with the rest of the Sorting, but no one at the Slytherin table was really paying attention to it. They were all staring at Zinnia, and some of them were sneering maliciously at her. Zinnia took a deep breath and straightened her back. She wasn't about to let some Pureblood elitists make her feel like shit. Scowling in return, she glowered at everyone who met her eyes.

Severus had an unreadable expression on his face and was avoiding looking at her. He didn't want to give it away that he and Zinnia were already acquainted, though it was probably obvious to those who were aware of his friendship with Lily. He'd toyed with the idea of Zinnia getting into Slytherin—she had all the qualities, after all—but Slytherin was notoriously a Pureblood House, and he hadn't expected the Hat to place her here. Zinnia's eyes glinted with anger as the boy sitting nearest to her scooted his plate and body as far away from her as he could.

The Sorting was soon over, and everyone was temporarily distracted from Zinnia's presence in Slytherin when the food appeared on the table. Though Zinnia was still uncomfortable and slightly intimidated, she didn't let any of her emotions show and began to slowly eat her food, looking relaxed. If Slytherin was a House that valued power, she wouldn't let anyone see her weaknesses.

As they all left the Great Hall and began to walk toward their respective dorms, Lily kept shooting Zinnia worried looks. Zinnia flashed Lily a reassuring half-grin; by the time dinner had ended most of the fear and adrenaline that had been pounding through her had disappeared. She'd spent most of the feast going through different plans and scenarios in her head.

 _Meet me tomorrow_ , mouthed Lily, and Zinnia gave a swift nod and disappeared with the rest of her fellow first-year Slytherins into the dungeons. The dungeons were dark and cold, the marble floor radiating chill. The other students edged away from her, and she almost felt as if she were in some kind of bubble; like if anyone got within five feet of her, they'd die. A few students were murmuring to each other in hushed whispers, occasionally shooting her a few glances. Zinnia had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes—they weren't being subtle at all.

"The password's Pureblood84753. We change the numbers every week and if you ever give a non-Slytherin the password into the common room, _we'll know_." The prefect's eyes gleamed dangerously at this. Zinnia shrugged, she'd guessed Slytherins liked their secrets, judging by the dark hallways they'd had to walk through to get to the common room entrance. As they stepped through and went in, green lights illuminated the room eerily, creating a gloomy and almost icy frigidity inside of the room. It wasn't actually cold though, the room just had a chilly quality to it—the fireplace warmed the place quite nicely.

"The girl's dorms are to the left and boy's dorms are to the right." And with that, the prefect swept away. A few of the students immediately headed for their rooms, and Zinnia followed them. She didn't want anyone trashing her things before she got there.

There were three beds in her dorm room, but the room was large and spacious, with a nice, tiled bathroom attached to the side. Her things had been placed in front of the bed all the way at the right, nearest to the bathroom, and Zinnia guessed that was her bed. The bed had curtains drawn around it that matched the green and silver of the carpeted floor and the bedsheets. Looking closely, she found that her name had actually been inscribed onto the wood of her bed.

Quietly and carefully, she inspected the other two beds in the room. She wanted to know who she'd be dealing with for the next seven years, and it would be advantageous to get their names before they even came in. The bed right next to hers said _Emily Nott_ , and the one next to that said _Reyna Greengrass_. The names were slightly familiar, and she quickly realized that they were probably related to a few of the Slytherin students from the 1990s timeline.

As she was unpacking her things and trying to organize them nicely (which was a futile endeavor because she'd end up making a mess of things anyway) the door opened and Zinnia looked up to see a girl with long blonde hair and dark brown eyes. They stopped and stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before the girl finally said something.

"Emily Nott."

"Zinnia Evans." Emily nodded at her and Zinnia turned back to what she was doing, while keeping one ear trained on what Emily was doing. She was still kind of paranoid that someone would try to attack her while her back was turned. But honestly, Emily Nott probably had the most welcoming reaction to Zinnia's Sorting into Slytherin so far.

After a few long moments of awkward silence—at least, it was awkward to Zinnia—the door opened again and a dark haired and dark eyed girl stepped through, grinning widely.

"Oh hey, Nott. I guess we're roommates! And you're—" She turned towards Zinnia cheerfully, only to stop short when she saw her, and her face immediately turned guarded.

"You're Zinnia Evans. The Mudblood." It wasn't a question.

Zinnia rolled her eyes. She'd been expecting this reaction, and she didn't even get to introduce herself.

Emily shot the dark haired girl—presumably Reyna Greengrass—a warning look. "You shouldn't say that word to a fellow Slytherin."

"She's only a Mudblood! How'd she get into Slytherin anyway? Bribe the Hat?"

"Why would I bribe the Hat into putting me into a House that hates Muggleborns?" Zinnia asked dryly.

Reyna glared at her. "Whatever! Just don't talk to me." And she flounced away, moving straight towards her trunk to unpack as well.

Emily gave Zinnia an unreadable look, but she looked a bit approving. Zinnia shrugged and prepared for bed.

That night, Zinnia made sure to cast a few simple warding spells she'd learned from one of Eileen's old books before going to bed. One could never be too cautious.

The next morning, Zinnia made sure to wake up extra early. She wanted to make sure she'd have an undisturbed breakfast, and she wanted to be there when Lily came in. Quickly getting ready and shoving on her robes, Zinnia crept out of the room, careful not to wake any of her roommates. It was around 5 in the morning, but there were a few older Slytherins loitering around in the common room. As she strode across the common room towards the exit, they followed her with their eyes, trying to judge her worth and figure her out. She flashed them a glare that told them she wouldn't back down, exited. The Great Hall was actually relatively close to the Slytherin dungeons; she just had to walk through a few hallways and up the stairs to get there. The halls were a little maze like, but she'd had the common sense to memorize her surroundings while being led to the common room the other night.

When she walked through the large, heavy oak doors of the Great Hall, she spotted a head of long, fiery red hair. Zinnia nearly laughed out loud and smirked, it looked like Lily had been planning the same thing as her—to get up early and talk before classes started. Lily up from her pancakes and met her eyes, then enthusiastically waved her over. The table was empty save for a few other Gryffindors who knew how to wake up early on the first day, and they shot Zinnia a few suspicious looks before ignoring the Evans sisters and going back to their breakfast. Lily and Severus were a pretty infamous pair of friends, due to their Houses, so the other Gryffindors weren't surprised that Lily was on such good terms with another Slytherin. Zinnia sat next to Lily and reached for a slice of toast.

"Morning." She mumbled, still tired and exhausted from the previous day.

"Morning, Zin!" Lily chirped brightly. Then she sobered and looked at her younger sister seriously. "Has anything happened yet? Are you okay?"

"Lily," Zinnia started, chewing through a mouthful of toast before continuing, "It's literally been one night. What were they going to do? Kill me? Then it would've be too obvious it was them if they killed me so quickly."

Lily gasped with horror, "Don't joke about that, Zin! It's not funny. What if you get hurt?"

"Meh. I was kind of expecting to be attacked anyway. I mean, some of the older students in Slytherin have been recruited by Voldemort already. There's no way they'd be pro-Muggleborns. And besides, my roommates are pretty decent—they ignore me for the most part, so I'm okay for now."

"You can't get hurt!" Lily cried, looking terrified, "I don't want you to get hurt. We need to come up with a plan for you."

"Seriously, Lils, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I've studied a few jinxes and hexes, which I'm hoping will protect me for a while. It's always good to have the upper hand over your enemies with tricks they don't know you know. Remember, I'm a poor, ignorant first-year."

Lily didn't look very convinced, but nodded reluctantly in agreement and made her promise that she'd take Sev to meet up with Lily after classes. Zinnia finished her breakfast while listening to Lily advise her on a few of the classes she'd be taking—Slughorn in Potions would be your best friend if you turned out to be brilliant, and McGreggor, the DADA professor, was tough and unyielding but an amazing teacher. The other classes were simple enough, Lily told her, and she had confidence in Zinnia to pass them easily.

Zinnia gave her an amused look when Lily began instructing her on Professor Binns' History of Magic class.

"Now, Zin, I know you'll want to go to sleep the minute you walk in, but please try to stay awake. History of Magic midterms and finals are extremely difficult."

"I make no promises." She told Lily, smirking. Lily just sighed fondly and started explaining the layout of the castle.

More and more students began to pile into the Hall and Lily began to fret as many Slytherins shot Zinnia dark looks for sitting at the Gryffindor table. Even Severus ate separately from Lily.

"Maybe you should go back," Lily said worriedly, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"It's alright," Zinnia answered wryly, "They already hate me anyways."

Lily's eyes lit up with anger and the look on her face had a few students flinching. "I can't believe this is happening! Why can't people just accept that Muggleborns can be in Slytherin and that Gryffindors and Slytherins can be friends?"

Zinnia pat Lily's shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry, Lils, that's just how the world works." Zinnia had a cynical view of things; she'd been shunned during her younger years while growing up with Lily, and she didn't really expect racism or ostracizing those who were different to go away.

Frowning, Lily shook her head vehemently. "No way, these kinds of things shouldn't be happening. And it looks like the war is escalating…" Zinnia shrugged and turned back to her food. They were too young to do anything about the war as of now, and they'd be graduating Hogwarts in six or seven years; which was a very long time to refine their skills. And Zinnia had other things to worry about now. Like how she was going to survive in Slytherin, the treasure chest for Death Eater recruits.

"Oi, that your sister, Evans?" Lily and Zinnia looked up to see Sirius with James right next to him.

Zinnia raised an eyebrow, "Which Evans would you be talking to? Maybe that answers your question."

Sirius glared at the youngest Evans. He hadn't forgotten what she'd said to him at Diagon Alley, though his uncle had found it hilarious.

"You're a _Slytherin_. What're you doing at the Gryffindor table?" This time, it was Zinnia's turn to glower at him.

"Why can't I sit with my sister?" Zinnia wanted to give a nasty comment about Sirius' lack of familial loyalty but refrained from it when she saw Lily subtly shaking her head.

"Hey Evans!" James quickly cut in, looking at Lily with bright eyes.

"Morning." She replied shortly, and turned back to Zinnia to continue their conversation about the castle's layout. Zinnia and Sirius were having a glaring contest, and neither wanted to let the other have the last word.

Lily stood abruptly, sensing another argument. "Zin, you done?" Zinnia looked up and nodded, and the two quickly made their way out of the Great Hall.

"C'mon, I'll show you around the castle." Lily told Zinnia as they walked away.

James looked at Sirius with dismay, "Why'd you have to go and do that, mate? You've scared away Evans. And midget Evans." Twenty feet away, Zinnia's eye twitched; someone had just called her a midget.

"Whatever." Huffed Sirius, not wanting to divulge the embarrassing encounter he'd had with Zinnia in Diagon Alley. "Hey, look, they've got sausages today!" That successfully diverted James' attention and the two began to stuff their faces. Remus, who'd come in during the argument, just shook his head and turned back to his food, now that the impending disaster had been diverted. Peter just shrugged, clueless, and began piling food onto his plate.

All the way over at the Slytherin table, Severus frowned. The previous night, the older Slytherins had held a meeting in the common room to discuss what to do about Zinnia. Most just opted to leave her alone, and some wanted to try to get rid of her. The ones who wanted to get rid of her knew, logically, that they couldn't do anything for a while, or it would be too obvious to Dumbledore who the perpetrators had been. They were content to do little things, like ripping her books, or hiding her quills, but they would do it so often that Zinnia would be so frustrated she'd leave. The very few radicals of the group just wanted to attack her and just get it over with. Severus didn't even know how those idiots had gotten into Slytherin. In any case, he'd have to warn Zinnia about it when none of the Slytherins were watching.

By the time Zinnia got to Potions, her third-to-last class of the day, she was feeling exhausted. Sure, all the classes had been interesting and enlightening, but there were just so many classes. Zinnia liked the practical aspects of the classes, rather than hearing her professors drone on about their subject and the theories behind them. If she wanted to learn about theories, all she had to do was crack open a book.

A lot of the time in the classes had felt pointless to her, and she'd only really been excited for when they finally got to practice the spells with their wands. Thanks to her practice during the summer, she'd been able to do all the spells on her first try, except for Transfiguration. For some reason, she just wasn't able to get the hang of it.

"Welcome to Potions." Called Professor Slughorn from the front of the room. The room was dark and musty but Zinnia was used to it—a lot of the Slytherin rooms were like that. He continued to give them a lecture and Zinnia felt her attention drift. They had a joint class with the Gryffindors, but she didn't really see anyone she recognized. Not that she expected to recognize anyone anyway. Sybill had been sorted into Ravenclaw, and thankfully, the Slytherins had only had one class with the Ravenclaws so far—Sybill had latched onto her during Charms and tried to be her partner for every exercise. It hadn't earned Zinnia any points in the other Slytherins' books.

"Miss Evans." Zinnia jolted and immediately looked towards Slughorn, attention refocusing on the class. "Are you related to Miss Lily Evans?" His eyes were shining and it was starting to creep Zinnia out.

"Yes." She answered shortly, not wanting to keep speaking.

"Oh ho! Your sister has great potential in Potions, I wonder if you do too." Zinnia wanted to smack Slughorn in the face.

"Who knows?" Her words were laconic, and she tried to ignore the stares coming from both the Gryffindors and Slytherins.

Slughorn continued to call out different students, asking them their relation to other people that Zinnia had no idea about, and she sighed heavily, wanting Slughorn to stop talking.

"Mr. Black!" Called Slughorn excitedly, "What a delight it is to have someone from the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black in my class!" Zinnia had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing—the title sounded ridiculous out loud. Slughorn was an idiot, Zinnia concluded, he was the Head of Slytherin but he hadn't even bothered to find out the names of any of the first-years yet. She shook her head and began to wonder about the process of inventing new potions. Severus had invented a few potions himself in the original timeline, but his present self hadn't reached that skill level yet.

 _What a blubbering idiot_ , thought Regulus scathingly. Slughorn was obviously a fame-seeker, using his students to increase his own fame. Nonetheless, he hid all traces of his disdain and replied.

"Thank you, sir. It's a pleasure to be in your class as well. I've heard many great things about you." Zinnia Evans, who was sitting near him, let out a snort at the blatant flattery and Slughorn didn't seem to notice, flushing with pleasure and continuing to rant about the greatness of the Blacks.

He glared at the only Muggleborn in the Slytherin House and hissed, "Mind your own business." She merely rolled her eyes and ignored him. Evan Rosier, who was sitting on his other side, just gave him a pitying look as Slughorn continued his tirade about the Black family.

"Now," instructed Slughorn, "We'll start off with one of the simplest potions. Open your books to page seven and I've written the instructions on the board. Find a partner and I want to see the finished product by the end of class."

Regulus immediately turned to Evan, but Evan only shrugged apologetically. Reyna Parkinson had already snagged him as her partner, so Regulus scowled and turned to the people around him. Finding no available partner, he began attempting to brew the potion alone. There was no way he was going to partner up with the Mudblood sitting next to him.

"Ah, Mr. Black, Miss Evans. Since you two have to partners, why don't you two pair up?" Said Slughorn, coming over to Regulus.

Regulus groaned internally but answered politely, "Of course, Professor." Slughorn nodded amiably and ambled away, checking on other students.

Turning to face Evans, he opened his mouth only to be met with a matching scowl on her face.

"Let's just get this over with." She snapped, tying her shoulder length red hair into a short ponytail. She opened her book and began reading the instructions. Regulus turned away and did the same. The two of them got up to gather the ingredients, and didn't say anything to each other.

Dumping the ingredients on the desk, Regulus began to read the instructions. It was a simple potion, with only a few ingredients to pour in and stir. There was no chopping or anything complicated like that, and Regulus felt relief stir in him. He didn't want to disappoint his family, and he was certain he could ace the potion as long as Evans didn't get in the way.

"What are you doing?" An irritated voice interrupted him just about as he was about to dump in the first ingredient.

He shot Evans a scathing look. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making the potion."

"You're supposed to wait two minutes while stirring the liquid counterclockwise before putting in the newt eyes." She snapped. He could see her physically restraining herself from adding the word "idiot" to the end of the sentence.

"The book never said that." He retorted, and began to dump the newt eyes in.

Zinnia's arm shout out and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from the cauldron.

"Don't touch me." He hissed, snatching his arm from her grasp.

"Then don't act a prick. You're supposed to wait so the liquid will dilute and the potion won't take as long to simmer. The end product will be a lot less thick, which is good for this type of potion." She growled angrily. Zinnia tried not to punch him in the face. For some reason, Regulus was really getting on her nerves with his elitist bullshit.

"What the hell do you know? You're only a Mudblood." He sneered. Clenching her fists, Zinnia took a deep breath and resisted the urge to shove his pretty little head into the boiling cauldron.

"I may not have grown up with your education, but I'm well-read, and someone skilled taught me about potions. I'm trying to improve our potions grade here, asshole."

"Just leave me alone. I'll do this myself." He thrust the newt eyes into the cauldron and Zinnia felt her head throb with irritation.

 _You're an adult, not a child._ She told herself, trying to calm herself down, _so don't push him into the cauldron. Even if he's the most annoying and bigoted git you've ever had the displeasure of talking to_.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Zinnia took control of the stirring before Regulus could continue with his rash throwing of ingredients into their cauldron.

"We're supposed to stir clockwise three times before adding the last ingredient." Zinnia told him through gritted teeth. The two were steadily agitating each other to the point where Zinnia was ready to damn manners and start punching Regulus into the next century.

Regulus glowered at Zinnia moodily, unwilling to linger on his mistake.

"Fine." He turned away and reluctantly let her finish the potion. It seemed like she knew what she was doing—the potion was turning the exact color Slughorn wanted it to be. Running a hand through his hair in frustration, he tried to compose himself. Usually, he was the picture of elegance and was always unaffected, but his annoyance had been steadily building up from the beginning of the day. He'd been badgered by older Slytherins about his brother the entire day, and though he admired Death Eaters, he just wanted to relax away from home; free from the suffocating politics and blood purity rants of his mum. It wasn't that he didn't agree with Voldemort's views, it was just that he was starting to get tired of hearing them repeated all the time. He admired Voldemort's lack of restraint from rules, and how Death Eaters had all the power and freedom in the world to do what they wanted. Muggles were pests needed to be taken care of, and Regulus was looking forward to being recruited as a Death Eater in his sixth year. But for now, he just wanted to go to school and enjoy his childhood.

"Bravo!" Cheered Slughorn, coming to look at their potion. "That is a perfect score for sure! I knew you two had potential." He beamed at them. When he turned and walked away, Evans pretended to gag, and Regulus found himself agreeing with her opinion of Slughorn.

Evans raised an eyebrow, "You're welcome."

"I could've done it without you." He snapped, and promptly ignored her. Evans turned away from him, seemingly undisturbed by his attitude. He could tell she was feeling smug.

Zinnia was annoyed and furious with Regulus' attitude, but she didn't expect any other Slytherin's attitude to be any different towards her. She'd just have to get used to it. But she hated, _hated_ being treated like a lesser wizard. If she ever wanted to be treated like an equal, she'd have to come up with a plan to get people to see past her blood status and treat her with respect. Sighing, she tried to recall all the Slytherins more likely to be an ally. The only person that seemed decent she'd met so far was Emily Nott, but even she didn't really want anything to do with Zinnia. It'd be a long struggle to gain respect.

As Zinnia walked to her last class of the day, Flying, she went through her classes and what she'd learned. Care of Magical Creatures with Professor Kettleburn had been promising—they'd eventually be going to the Forbidden Forest for a few classes, and Zinnia really wanted to know what kind of creatures lived in there. From what she could recall, the centaurs living there could probably help her sort out her Seer abilities. It was dangerous, though, so she'd have to brush up on her defensive and offensive spells before venturing in alone. Steeling herself, she prepared for Flying class and tried not to feel too excited about the prospect of flying. There was still a possibility she could fall and break her neck, after all.

At the end of classes, Severus met up with Lily at their usual spot in the library.

"Where's Zinnia?" He asked, expecting the sisters to be together.

"She's got flying classes, remember? I've told her to meet us here already though."

Severus furrowed his eyebrows and nodded. He didn't want Zinnia to get attacked before she could even meet up with them, but hopefully, the Slytherins weren't stupid enough to attack her in front of other students.

"Anyway," continued Lily, motioning for Severus to come closer. She lowered her voice and Severus took this as a cue to mutter _Muffliato_ under his breath to ward off any unwelcome eavesdroppers. "Zin told me about a room on the seventh floor called the Room of Requirement. I think we should meet there too from now on. She said that it can morph into anything we need it to be."

Severus raised his eyebrows, "I've never heard of this room; its powers sound strangely convenient. We'll have to discuss it with Zinnia when she gets here though."

The two of them studied and did their homework in companionable silence and occasional discussions before Zinnia finally appeared. She looked a bit frazzled, but that was to be expected—she'd never really seen or tried to mount a flying broom before.

Zinnia dropped into a chair beside Lily.

"I'll show you guys the Room of Requirement. Walk out a few moments after me, so no one knows Severus and I are friends." She whispered. Lily shot her a confused at this, but nonetheless acquiesced.

The three of them made their way up to the seventh floor, and Zinnia paced in front of the wall where she estimated the Room to be, repeating over and over what she wanted. To her relief, a door appeared, and she turned to Lily and Severus with a triumphant smirk.

"After you." She told them, looking smug. Severus just rolled his eyes and walked in and looked in awe at the room.

"This really is a room of requirement." Laughed Lily, looking at the countless bookshelves and comfy armchairs. The room was large and spacious, but cozy at the same time. They settled down on an armchair and Zinnia silently asked the Room to keep anyone out.

"So," began Severus, "I've got to tell you guys about the Slytherins' plans."

"Wait," said Lily, eyes flashing, "Why aren't you and Zin friends in Slytherin? Are you abandoning her to be harassed by the Purebloods?"

Zinnia sighed, "It's alright, Lily. We kind of silently agreed on it after I got Sorted into Slytherin. I mean, look at it this way. Everyone knows you and Severus are friends, but they seem to assume that Severus and I are on bad terms. We hardly spoke to each other, and I think that's for the best. They're only leaving Severus alone because of his status as a Prince—the Slytherins barely tolerate his friendship with you. If he starts talking to me, well, we don't know what could happen but it won't be good. We'll just sort of be on speaking terms."

"And I can warn her about future plans to sabotage her." Added Severus, looking solemn, "Even if they don't completely trust me, I won't be shunned from conversations entirely, like Zinnia."

Lily groaned, "Fine. I can never win against you two. Zin better not get hurt." She warned Severus.

"Anyway, continuing with what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the Slytherins have mostly voted to leave Zin alone. But a few of them are up to harassing her to try to chase her out. There might be a big attack coming, but it depends on if the seventh years agree on it or not. We haven't had a Muggleborn in Slytherin for years, so they're all still undecided in how to deal with the situation."

Zinnia shrugged, "There's not much I can do about it besides learning to defend myself. And speaking of which, this room can easily turn into a dueling arena, so I think we should start practicing dueling in order to defend ourselves."

Severus nodded in agreement and Lily commented that it was fine with her.

Zinnia sighed a bit. The two of them still hadn't completely grasped the concept of war. They were still too young, even though the newspapers were beginning to be riddled with articles about Death Eater attacks. Even so, it was far too impersonal for it to greatly impact Severus and Lily. It didn't matter though, as long as they knew how to protect themselves. They still had plenty of years to mature and Zinnia would rather them have a more innocent childhood than a heavy one.

The three of them began discussing potential spells to learn, and when it started getting too late, they started to head off to their respective dorms. Lily hugged Zinnia and Severus before heading to the Gryffindor Tower, and Zinnia told Severus to head back first so it wouldn't seem like he was on very good terms with Zinnia.

After lingering in the library and looking through books about Occlumency, Zinnia decided to head back to the common room. As she stopped in front of the wall, ready to give the password, a bunch of sixth and seventh year Slytherins stopped her. They sneered intimidatingly and Zinnia was instantly on her defense. In the corner of her eye, she could see Regulus Black looking on with interest.

"What do you think you're doing, Mudblood? You'll never be a Slytherin, so don't pretend like you're one." The boy who spoke spat at her feet.

"Slytherin doesn't take Muggleborns, does it? If Muggleborns are all descended from Squibs, then how can any of be Mudbloods? Do you even know what constitutes the meaning of Mudblood?" She sneered in reply, pretending to be unaffected by the terror now rushing through her.

"You think you're so smart? Well we're gonna teach you a lesson about why Mudbloods never get into Slytherin." The leader of the boys snapped angrily, flushing with embarrassment from her question. And with that, the four boys started shooting an onslaught of curses.

Adrenalin immediately started pumping through her veins, and Zinnia forced herself to start running through her fear. She quickly cast a _Protego_ before she was distracted by another incoming curse.

 _Shit_. She cursed to herself, as she dodged another curse heading her way while running for her life. She was only a fucking _first year_. What the hell was she supposed to do against a bunch of experienced sixth and seventh years? She had absolutely no fighting experience; she just had a bunch of spells to use, but it'd be of no use if they couldn't even hit her targets. The spells were coming at her way too quickly and there was no way she could dodge and cast spells at her current level.

One curse narrowly missed her cheek by a few blessed centimeters and she started praying, because there was no way she could dodge the next incoming onslaught of spells without breaking a bone or two. The floor was _not_ something she wanted to be thrown around on. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. Should I just get hit? Shit, I need help. I don't care if it's the fucking Buddha or something, just please let me live past today._ Zinnia wasn't a very religious person—she liked to consider herself agnostic, despite her rebirth—but she was pretty sure she'd start believing in some kind of God if she managed to get away unscathed.

A particularly nasty stinging hex hit her arm and she let out a string of curses that had a few seventh years raising their eyebrows as pure pain shot up her arm—it felt like her arm was being chopped off; not that she had ever experienced that. At this point, she was pretty sure she'd rather break a few bones than get hit with the rest of the curses at her. Dropping to the floor, she quickly muttered a few hexes that would hopefully incapacitate a few of the Slytherins trying to curse her.

She managed to hit one Slytherin, who yelped and dropped to the ground as his knees were reversed. The Slytherins attacking her looked shocked at her mastery of a higher level hex, but it only steeled their resolve in attacking her, as they now wanted revenge for their friend as well.

Zinnia dove towards the stairs and winced when her shoulder slammed into the top step. It'd been worth it though—the curses had missed their target and Zinnia began sprinting up the stairs as quickly as she could. They wouldn't be able to attack her with witnesses, and hopefully, there were still a few stragglers near the Great Hall. Hell, she'd even take Argus Filch.

"What the bloody hell?" Came the shocked voice of James Potter and his gang. The four of them were staring at the scene with wide eyes. Zinnia was pretty sure she was not a pretty sight with her dislocated shoulder and random cuts all over her body.

Zinnia groaned. Of all the people, it just had to be them.

"What's going on here?" Asked Remus Lupin, stepping forward.

"None of your business, _Gryffindors_." The Slytherin who spoke spat out their House name like an insult.

Sirius' face twisted into a sneer, "Looks like you're even worse than us, attacking one of your own."

"That Mudblood's not one of us." Spat the leader of the Slytherin gang.

"I'm outta here." Muttered Zinnia, and she dashed away while the Slytherins and the Gryffindors began throwing insults at each other. They began casting spells, and Zinnia was just glad it was over; at least it was for her. She quickly disappeared down the hall and debated whether or not to go to the Hospital Wing or go back to her dorm.

If she went to the Hospital Wing, the professors would get involved, and that would not be pretty. She'd gain an even worse reputation for being a snitch, and she'd lose all chances of being accepted as a Slytherin.

 _Ah, fuck it._ She thought, and headed back towards the common room. As she muttered the password, and stepped inside, she noted with surprise that the common room was empty except for Regulus, who watched her with unfathomable grey eyes.

"What?" She snapped angrily, "Come to see the show? The Mudblood finally getting what she deserves?" Anger was steadily rising in her as his face didn't change or give any indication of hearing her words.

Regulus stayed silent and watched Zinnia stomp up the stairs to the girl's dorm. He felt confused as he recalled what Zinnia had said to the boys earlier. Were Mudbloods really Mudbloods? If their blood was so filthy, why were they able to do magic. He shook his head quickly, stomping away any sign of question against his parents' beliefs. He didn't want to end up like his brother Sirius—hated and ostracized by his own family.

Besides, Mudbloods didn't deserve to be treated like equals anyway; they'd probably stolen their magic. And with that in mind, he headed for the boy's dorm, crushing the tiny prick of uncertainty and pity he'd felt when he'd seen Zinnia walk in. If he started questioning his beliefs, he'd be crushed by his family and Voldemort. So he kept telling himself that Mudbloods were bad; that they were lesser than Purebloods like him. Even though they bled the same color, cast the same magic, and had the same feelings as him.

He growled, watching Zinnia Evans being brutally attacked hadn't sat well with him—no one deserved to be treated that way. But she was a Mudblood, and Mudbloods deserved to be treated badly. He ignored the disgust that had risen in his throat when he'd seen the curses the older Slytherins had been casting and got ready for bed, trying to clear his mind. He _hated_ Zinnia Evans.

Emily Nott looked up when Zinnia walked in. She looked shocked for a moment, before looking away. Zinnia sat down on her bed with a groan of pain and started contemplating the idea of resetting her dislocated shoulder by herself. She wondered if there was any kind of spell and mentally cursed herself for not bringing any books with healing spells. She'd have to check them out at the library later.

"Here." Emily's soft voice echoed through the room. Reyna was sleeping, so it was only the two of them. "I'll reset your shoulder."

Zinnia looked at her with surprise and a hint of suspicion. Did she really want to help her?

Emily rolled her eyes. "Just come here. I know how to set dislocated bones." Zinnia's eyebrows raised with interest but Emily didn't elaborate further.

"Bitedown on this." She told Zinnia, handing her a rolled up white towel. "Ready?" Zinnia nodded and braced herself for the upcoming pain.

Emily snapped her shoulder back into place with a sharp crack, and Zinnia tried to muffle her scream of pain as best she could. The pain had been agonizing.

"I can try to heal your cuts too." Emily looked her straight in the eye. Zinnia nodded in agreement, and Emily closed up her wounds so that they weren't bleeding freely as much. Her cuts weren't completely healed—Emily was only a first year after all—but they were a lot better than their original state.

"Thanks." Zinnia grunted, "I owe you one." Emily nodded. This was the way of Slytherins. Nothing was done for free—a favor in exchange for a favor.

Emily didn't ask her about what happened, and Zinnia was grateful for that. She decided that she liked Emily the best out of all the people she'd met so far in Hogwarts. The two of them went to bed without another word, and Zinnia closed her eyes wearily. If all that had happened to her in one day, she didn't want to know what would happen in a year.

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 **A/N: I decided to update quickly as an apology for the previous chapter. It wasn't well-developed and it was way too rushed. So I'll be slowing down the pacing a lot and focusing on more details. Thank you to kimchi759 for pointing out the bad plot points; I'm definitely going to work on keeping everything realistic and consistent.**

 **Again, thanks to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviewed! Please point out any mistakes or tell me about any concerns you have—I'd really like to improve this story. And as usual, thanks for reading!**


	8. In spite of all my fears

Reply to Goldspark1: The reason why I didn't include Dumbledore in the previous chapter is because while Dumbledore is a wise man, he is not perfect. He's pretty biased against Slytherins. Of course, this is my personal opinion from what I've read in the books. He has little to no interaction with the Slytherins and he regards them suspiciously. His treatment of Tom Riddle in his Hogwarts days was less than stellar— I feel like he's not one to give equal treatment. In fact, he rarely interacted with any Hogwarts students besides Harry. So I don't think he would particularly try to get himself involved. I'm not bashing Dumbledore—I actually like him as a character—but no one's perfect, so I feel like one of Dumbledore's flaws would be that he sees things through a black and white perspective, leading to him to neglect the Slytherins. I hope this makes sense!

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The next morning, Zinnia's wounds and bruises ached so much that she laid in bed for a full hour just staring into space before dragging herself onto her feet. Her shoulder was throbbing painfully and every time she tried to move her left arm, the stabs of pain were so bad that Zinnia grumbled to herself that she'd be better off just not using that arm at all.

It was still six in the morning when Zinnia finally started getting ready for the day ahead of her. It was pretty hard not to wince in pain every time she moved, and she'd have a hell of a time hiding injuries. She dug around in her trunk as quietly as she could, but it wasn't easy when she was rummaging through a pile of junk for anything related to healing that'd help her get through the day without drawing any unwanted attention to herself. It didn't help that Zinnia practically hoarded everything she got and didn't have anything to do with healing with her—she'd foolishly left those interests to Lily.

Despite all her best efforts to keep quiet, Emily had blinked awake and was now staring at Zinnia with a pensive expression on her face.

"You really don't know anything about healing, do you?"

Zinnia looked up, surprised by Emily's sudden comment, and shrugged nonchalantly; though the pain was terrible, it'd go away eventually. And besides, thanks to the incident last night, Zinnia was now placing healing at the top of her list of things to do.

"It doesn't really matter to me. I'll figure it out sooner or later."

Emily rolled her eyes with a hint of a smile, "Want me to teach you the spell for healing bruises?"

Zinnia's interest sparked at this, and she tried not to look too eager as she faced Emily.

"Yeah. I can teach you a defense spell in exchange."

Nodding sharply once, Emily gestured for Zinnia to move closer and began the incantation and wand movement. There was a small tingle in her left shoulder and Zinnia nearly sighed in relief as the sharp pain faded to a dull ache.

"Thanks." Zinnia showed Emily the basics of Protego as well as she could in three minutes—it was a pretty difficult spell that most wizards and witches struggled with. She'd offered to teach Emily that spell partly because Emily wouldn't be able to turn the spell against her, and it would take a while to help Emily get the hang of it; so all her debts would be paid by teaching her such a difficult and useful spell.

Leaving Emily to experiment a bit with the spell, Zinnia got dressed and began walking to the Great Hall for breakfast while making up excuses in her head. Lily would be horrified once she saw her injuries—Emily was still young and wasn't exactly at Madam Pomfrey's caliber, and Zinnia didn't want Lily to excessively worry about her situation in Slytherin.

The Great Hall was nearly empty, save for a few scattered students, and the muted silence was a bit unnerving as Zinnia stepped in. She'd been looking forward to a private conversation with Lily, but the sound carried in the Great Hall when there wasn't a lot of talking going on between hundreds of students. Zinnia tried to walk as normally as she could without wincing and she sat down with a tired plop next to Lily at the Gryffindor table.

Lily eyed her strangely but didn't say anything, and Zinnia silently applauded herself for her acting skills.

"Morning, Lils."

"Morning Zin! Are you okay? You look kind of frazzled."

Zinnia sent a silent prayer of thanks that her bruises had been covered by the irritating Hogwarts uniform. For once, the long and loose robes were useful.

"Nothing's wrong, I just didn't get a lot of sleep. How was Charms class?" She quickly switched the subject to Lily's favorite class, and to her relief, Lily began to ramble happily about the new spells and theories she'd just learned the day before.

The two ate their breakfast companionably, with Lily making most of the conversation and Zinnia just adding a few comments here and there. By the time the two were done eating, more students were starting to pile into the Great Hall and Zinnia uttered a quick goodbye when Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes sat next to Lily.

Judging by the amount of students in the Great Hall, Zinnia estimated that she still had around an hour before classes started. She headed straight for the library, intent on searching for some books on healing. She perused through a few shelves with books related to healing, but none of the books really went through the practical aspects of casting the spells. Annoyed, Zinnia sat down at an empty library table with an open book in front of her.

She really needed to learn healing—and fast. There was no telling what might happen to her for the rest of the year, and she didn't think she was going to be able to improve her dueling skills quickly enough to make it through the year without having to have knowledge of healing spells and potions.

Folding her hands with a pensive look on her face, she entertained the idea of asking Madam Pomfrey to teach her. She didn't really know if Madam Pomfrey had any House biases, but she figured that now would be a good time to find out. Madam Pomfrey most likely wouldn't be open to apprentices though, so Zinnia would just have to find another way to get into the Hospital Wing. There were many ways to get injured in Hogwarts, but most of them were extremely painful. Flying class would probably give her the mildest injuries, if she fell from the right height and made it look painful enough. She didn't really like the idea of injuring herself _again_ , but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Potions, unfortunately, was her first class of the day, and she had to deal with the horror of becoming Regulus Black's permanent partner, thanks to Slughorn's "brilliant" idea. For some reason, he seemed to think they worked well together, even though they studiously ignored each other most of the time. When they were forced to speak to each other, they'd add veiled insults into each of their sentences, and they were only ever close to civil when they didn't have to interact. Zinnia practically ran out the door with joy when Potions class was finally over.

While she was walking to Transfiguration, she suddenly tripped over nothing and almost fell into a sprawling heap on the floor. Luckily, she was able to support herself by pushing against the stone wall next to her, and immediately righted herself.

She could hear distant giggles, and one voice shouted out, "Watch your step, Mudblood!"

Zinnia wasn't surprised by the bullying, but she was mentally admonishing herself for not paying attention to her surroundings. She gripped her book bag tightly and kept walking, shoulders straight and head held high. If some ignorant Slytherins wanted to bully her, she'd let them—but she'd be prepared from now on.

To be perfectly honest, Zinnia had never really had to deal with bullying alone. Back at home, she'd had Lily with her, and Lily was a fierce protector of those she loved. Now, she was alone in Slytherin, with Severus unable to really do anything to help her. She'd have to tackle this alone, but she was ready for the bullying. Most of her free time away from Hogwarts had been spent reading books, and Zinnia had knowledge of a plethora of spells. Defending herself against bullying would be a perfect time to start practicing them.

Once she sat down at a table by herself and waited for Professor McGonagall to begin the class, she immediately heard a shuffle from somewhere behind her. Whipping around, she saw a Slytherin boy subtly pointing his wand at her, and Zinnia uttered _Protego_ before his spell could hit her. The boy looked furious when he saw that Zinnia had blocked his spell, but he smirked at her and Zinnia turned back towards the front of the room to see that someone had turned her quill into a snake.

 _Amateurs._ She thought scathingly. Snakes didn't really scare her; after all, they were the Slytherin mascot. The small green snake was now slithering towards her, and Zinnia tried to transfigure it back into a quill, but failed.

 _Shit._ She groaned inwardly, remembering too late that Transfiguration was her worst subject.

" _What_ is going on here?"

Zinnia looked up to see McGonagall staring sternly at her with a muted expression of fury on her face. She quickly opened her mouth to answer but the snake suddenly surged towards her, hissing, and Zinnia jolted backwards, heart leaping in her chest.

With the calm grace of a predator, McGonagall instantly cast the counterspell and the snake shifted back into a quill. Turning to Zinnia, she raised a thin eyebrow in a silent prompt for Zinnia to answer her previous question.

"Nothing happened, Professor. I was just trying some Transfiguration spells I read about before class started, and accidentally turned my quill into a snake."

McGonagall gave her a long look, unreadable look.

"I will not tolerate fooling around in my class, Miss Evans. Transfiguration is a dangerous subject and casting spells inanely will only end up harming you and the subject. If I ever see this again, I will dock points. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall. I understand. I'm sorry." The Slytherin boy who'd cast the spell was trying to hide his sniggers, and Zinnia wanted to punch his face into the next planet.

Giving Zinnia a sharp nod, Professor McGonagall strode to the front of the classroom and began her lecture.

For the rest of class, Zinnia spent her time deflecting other various attempts at bullying and brooding over her failure of transfiguring the snake back into a quill. She _sucked_ at everything to do with Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was a perfectly competent teacher, but Zinnia just didn't get the concepts of the subject. It irked her, the way living things could be turned into inanimate objects and vice versa. It just didn't make sense. How could magic be powerful enough to give life? Did objects transfigured into living things even count as alive? All of the theories of transfiguration clashed with the Muggle ideals Zinnia had grown up with, and it was hard to part with her mindset. She just couldn't get the hang of it. At this rate, she was going to fail Transfiguration.

The class was agonizingly boring, and Zinnia didn't want to pay attention to the lecture—everything about it made her head hurt. Thankfully, they had only covered theories today, and hadn't done any practical magic. Zinnia spent the entire class daydreaming as unnoticeably as she could. McGonagall, surprisingly, didn't catch her drifting off, and Zinnia was out the door like a bullet when class ended. Thankfully, no one had tried to bully her under McGonagall's sharp eyes.

As she walked to Flying class with Professor Valence, a few of the Slytherins in her year heading towards the class tried to hex her bag so it would break, but Zinnia narrowly dodged the spell and spent the rest of her walk glued to the walls so she wouldn't be surrounded at all sides.

Brooms had been set up at the field, and each student stepped in front of one. The Slytherins had a shared class with the Ravenclaws today, and Trelawney was desperately trying to get Zinnia's attention. Zinnia pretended not to notice and instead focused her energy on avoiding any other jinxes that would come flying her way. She knew she was being mean to Sybill, but she really didn't have the energy to deal with her at the moment.

"Now, class. I want you to slowly mount your brooms. Do NOT take off. Just stand there and I'll check all of your stances." Instructed Professor Valence, walking around the large group.

Zinnia quickly called "Up!" to her broom, and while Professor Valence was helping the Ravenclaws on the opposite side of the field, Zinnia mounted her broom and let herself fly into the air. It was almost terrifying. The broom hovered a bit over the ground, and it was a bit unsettling to be floating in the air on a thin broomstick. Zinnia clutched the broom tightly as it began to wobble a bit, and she slowly tilted the angle of the broom upwards.

"What're you doing?" Hissed Emily, staring at Zinnia with horror as the broom began to rise higher and higher. "You've never ridden a broom before; you'll definitely fall."

Shrugging, Zinnia dismissed Emily's exclamation when the broom suddenly shot into the air. The wind whistled past her ears, and her stomach jumped inside her body. It was like being on a rollercoaster, but a hundred times better. Professor Valence had finally noticed her, and was now screaming at her to come down. The problem was, Zinnia had no idea how to control the broom. She tried tilting her body and the direction of the broom, but the speed was difficult to control.

The air was clear and crisp, and the sky was a crystal blue. Zinnia felt the cool wind slide through her short hair and brush against her face. Flying felt absolutely amazing, and she could understand why Lily had loved it so much. Concentrating some of her magic into the broom, she forced the broom to slow down and tried to make it look like she had no control over the broom while falling towards the ground. As she neared the field, she veered off the side and let go of the broom handle. She fell a few feet onto the rough grass, and jarred her leg as it crashed into the ground. A white-hot shock of pain flashed through her leg, and her body ached even more as her fall just added to her growing collection of bruises.

"Miss Evans!" The alarmed voice of Professor Valence pierced through her haze of pain, and Zinnia sat up awkwardly. Her head was spinning, and she could feel the stares of the students around her.

Zinnia felt absolutely miserable and she was almost positive she had least a fractured bone. None of the Slytherin first years stepped up and offered to help her to the hospital wing, so Professor Valence ended up asking a Ravenclaw to help out. Trelawney jumped at the chance and immediately latched onto Zinnia. It was like a baby kangaroo had attached itself to Zinnia's arm and Trelawney was basically chattering deadweight, so Zinnia ended up dragging herself _and_ Trelawney to the Hospital Wing. Combined with her injuries from the day before, and her throbbing leg, Zinnia was not having a fun time. She had no idea why Trelawney hadn't gotten the message to leave her alone, but it was quickly becoming irritating, and Zinnia was starting to have her doubts about Trelawney having actual Seer abilities. The subjects that Trelawney was rambling about made absolutely no sense and Zinnia could feel a migraine coming on in addition to all her injuries.

"Hey." Interrupted Zinnia curtly, "Do you know anyone who knows a lot about Seers?"

"Of course," Sybill stated proudly, "My mum knows a ton. My great-great grandmum was the most celebrated Seer of her time and she taught my mum loads of stuff."

At this, Zinnia perked up. "Really? Do you think I could write a letter to your mum? I think your great-great grandmum's really cool, and I'd love to know more about her."

Sybill smiled widely, "Sure! I'll owl my mum later and let her know. And did you know that I'm Seer too? I've got the Inner Eye."

This, of course, Zinnia already knew, but she feigned awed shock.

"Really? Wow, that's amazing! You must be really smart and talented."

Trelawney visibly beamed and puffed out her chest. Zinnia listened to the rest of her rambling with half an ear while trying not to trip on the stairs with her fractured leg.

 _I bet these stairs were originally used as torture devices._ Zinnia grumbled to herself with irritation.

When they finally reached the Hospital Wing, Zinnia was ready to start kissing a statue of Merlin. She felt pure, heavenly relief as Madam Pomfrey ushered Sybill out while Zinnia rested her leg.

"What happened, dearie?"

Zinnia hid a grin; it looked like Pomfrey didn't have any biases against Houses.

"Just a flying accident."

Madam Pomfrey tsked and examined her leg. It was already beginning to swell and the skin over the fracture had changed colors.

"It looks like you agitated this too much, I'll have to use a stronger potion. How many times have I told Professor Valence to make sure the students with broken bones don't have to walk here themselves?" Pomfrey walked away to find a potion while muttering angrily under her breath.

The Hospital Wing had a few students lying down, but most of the cots were empty. Zinnia actually liked the peaceful quiet here, and mused that the Hospital Wing would probably be a great place to study if people weren't sent here with injuries all the time.

Madam Pomfrey returned, clutching a light blue potion in her hand, and handed it to Zinnia.

"Just drink the whole thing and rest up for a bit. You'll feel a lot better after a rest." She smiled kindly at Zinnia and Zinnia felt a little bad for trying to manipulate such a caring woman.

It wasn't like she was actually manipulating Pomfrey though; she genuinely liked the Hogwarts Matron. Zinnia quickly swallowed the potion in one gulp—it tasted vile—and could feel the swelling in her leg go down within minutes.

"Excuse me, Madam Pomfrey," Zinnia asked politely, "What was that potion?"

Madam Pomfrey looked at her with mild surprise—not many students were interested in Healing. Most of them just wanted to get their ailments fixed as soon as possible and get out.

"It's called Skele-Fix, dear."

"Is it hard to make? It looks like you don't have much stock of that potion."

"Well it is rather advanced, but I bet a few sixth or seventh years here could make it. Why do you ask?"

Zinnia gave her a shy smile, "Well, I'm interested in Healing. I think I'd like to work at St. Mungo's when I graduate." That, of course, was a total lie, but Zinnia didn't think there was anything wrong with tweaking the truth. People liked hearing things they wanted to hear.

Madam Pomfrey smiled widely, "Why that's great, dear! What's your name?"

"I'm Zinnia Evans. My sister's Lily Evans. She visits you sometimes, right?"

At the mention of Lily's name, Madam Pomfrey beamed. "Oh yes, Miss Evans has many interesting questions. I can see how you two are related, the two of you are so polite!"

Hook, line, and sinker. Madam Pomfrey would definitely be a lot less suspicious of her questions, and since Lily visited often, it wouldn't be strange for Zinnia to visit either.

"Can I come along with Lily when she visits?"

"Of course, dear. Come any time you want. It's so nice to see some bright students interested in Healing."

Zinnia gave her a genuine smile and thanked her. There weren't many people as kind as Madam Pomfrey, and Zinnia definitely appreciated her lack of bias towards the Slytherins.

The rest of the day passed quickly, since Zinnia spent most of the afternoon sleeping in the Hospital Wing. Before she left, she had another short discussion with Madam Pomfrey about dislocated bones, and asked just the right questions so that Madam Pomfrey wouldn't be suspicious.

By the time Zinnia was released from the Hospital Wing, classes were over and dinner would be in an hour. She headed towards the Common Room, figuring that she could probably wrangle Emily into giving her the notes she missed and the homework assignments.

Zinnia slipped into the Common Room as quietly as possible and steeled herself for the expected onslaught of dirty looks and whispers, but to her surprise, no one was really paying attention to the opening of the Common Room entrance. Everyone was huddled around a spot in front of the fireplace, and were watching something intently. Zinnia craned her neck to get a better look, but there were too many people.

Shrugging, she headed up the stairs to her room to find Emily. When she entered, Reyna and Emily looked up at her. Immediately, Reyna sneered, but Emily gave her a tentative smile.

"How's your leg?" Emily asked softly.

"It's all better now, thanks." Zinnia was a bit warmed by the fact that Emily actually cared about her wellbeing. Reyna, however, just huffed and tried to draw Emily's attention back to their original discussion.

"What's going on in the Common Room?" Asked Zinnia, interested in knowing what the Slytherins were so invested in.

Emily looked at her with surprise, "You don't know about our Wizard's Chess competitions? There's a leaderboard on top of the fireplace."

All Zinnia remembered of the Common Room were the best places to study and rest. She hadn't really spent enough time to notice more details.

"So there's a match going on?"

Reyna jeered at her, "Do you even know what Wizarding Chess is, Mudblood?"

Zinnia sighed with irritation. The whole "Mudblood" thing was getting old. "Yes, I know what it is. And how do you know I'm a Mudblood? All Muggleborns are descended from Squibs. I'll have you know that I've got Rosier and Prewett blood in my ancestry."

Emily jerked with surprise and Reyna just looked sullen.

"You never told me that." Emily said, frowning at Zinnia.

"There was never really an opportunity to. What was I supposed to do? Walk around with 'I've got Rosier and Prewett blood' tattooed onto my forehead?"

Emily let out a soft snort at Zinnia's sarcasm.

"You've got Rosier blood in your ancestry! That's important—the Rosiers are part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight Pureblood families. I know they've had a few Squibs in the past, so it'll be easy to get proof."

Reyna sat up straight, "Well, I guess you're not as much of a Mudblood as I thought you were. But that doesn't change the fact that you're from a Muggle family."

"So?" Asked Zinnia, annoyed, "It doesn't matter. You can't call any Muggleborns Mudbloods 'cause we've all got magical blood in out ancestries."

There was a long silence as Reyna sat there, staring at Zinnia.

Finally, she admitted grudgingly, "You're right, I guess. You're not that stupid for a Mudblood. Anyway, I'm going down to see who won the game."

Emily waved at her as she left.

"You know," Emily told Zinnia seriously, "I don't think blood supremacy is true. There are plenty of Muggleborns and Halfbloods that become brilliant wizards and witches. Slytherins just have tradition hammered into their minds."

Zinnia gave her a half-smile. "Thanks. You grew up in a Pureblood family, right? Why don't you believe in blood supremacy?"

"My family, the Notts, have never really been into the idea of blood supremacy. We're more of what you call a neutral family. We don't advocate the integration of Muggles into wizarding society, or particularly admire Muggleborns, but we don't hate them."

That made a lot of sense. Emily had been the only Slytherin to speak in a non-aggressive manner towards Zinnia, but Zinnia could tell that there were other Slytherins who were neutral as well. She'd have to start out by befriending all the neutral Slytherins if she wanted to make allies.

"I almost forgot to ask, but can I borrow the notes that I missed? And what's the homework?" Zinnia was determined to forge a friendship with Emily, and she really did like Emily as a person. She'd helped her when others had attacked her, and Zinnia appreciated that.

Emily smiled at her, "No problem. I'll just go get my notes. Do you want to come and watch the end of the chess match with me? Reyna and I are planning to participate in a match sometime, so you should come and see how it works."

They'd fallen into a companionable chatter and Zinnia felt happiness wash over her. This was the first semblance of friendship she'd experienced in her entire reincarnated life; besides Lily and Severus. It was a wonderful feeling, and Zinnia began to feel like she belonged in Slytherin as she and Emily started discussing different chess strategies as they made their way to the Common Room.

Emily was her first friend, and Zinnia would never forget that.

The game was nearing the end when she and Emily finally managed to snatch a spot where the game would be visible. Arin Rosier, a fifth year, had pushed the seventh year reigning champion into check, only a few pieces remained on the board.

"Rosier has the best chance of winning right now." Commented Emily as she observed the seventh year's attempts to evade checkmate.

"If Rosier wins, what'll happen?" Asked Zinnia, scrutinizing the position of the pieces.

"Well, he'll become the reigning champion and take the top spot on the leaderboard. Anyone is free to challenge the top ten players on the leaderboard. If you win, you take their spot and the person who lost will drop back to the bottom. You can find your rank by checking for your name on the board."

Reyna, who was standing beside them, added, "But everyone starts out at the bottom and have to work their way up by challenging people within five ranks of their own rank. If you lose, all your hard work will be for nothing and you'll be the very last place."

Zinnia was mildly surprised by Reyna's willingness to explain but didn't comment on it and just took it as a gift.

"So the winner has the top status in Slytherin?" Plans were racing through Zinnia's head and her eyes glinted as she watched Rosier place the seventh year into checkmate.

The room broke out in cheers for Rosier and immediately, his name was pushed to the top of the board. There were loud congratulations, and one boy shouted, "Congrats, Arin! I guess I owe you a butterbeer and a new quill set."

Emily was grinning widely as she turned to answer Zinnia's question.

"As you can see, the winner is the most widely revered in Slytherin. Rosier's got loads more respect and status now."

Zinnia contemplated the idea of starting to learn how to play chess. If she could hold her own in dueling against seventh years _and_ become the reigning champion for Wizarding Chess, she'd definitely gain a lot more respect; which would make it easier to gain allies and actually enjoy her time at Hogwarts.

Unfortunately, Zinnia had only played chess a few times with her dad, and their games were mediocre at best. She'd been defeated for most of the games she'd played, but she'd at least learned from her mistakes.

"Aren't you and Reyna competing?" Zinnia asked Emily, wondering if she could get one of them to give her chess lessons.

"Yes, why? Do you want to try? All you have to do is add your name onto the boards."

The room was still exploding with excited shouts and cheers, and Zinnia had to move her head closer to Emily in order to hear what she was saying.

"Can you teach me for a bit? I've got the basics down but I've never played Wizarding Chess."

Emily shrugged, teaching wasn't that much of big deal, and she knew that she had the advantage over Zinnia of being raised in a Pureblood family. She'd grown up with magic, so she already was used to Wizarding Chess.

"Sure, that's fine. I'll teach you on Saturdays for two months, alright? I don't need any payment. Just think of it as a fair introduction to set you on the same level as everyone else."

There weren't many people in Hogwarts that Zinnia felt close to, but she was starting to feel like Emily would be a close friend. This scared her, but it also excited her—the only people she could call her friends were Lily and Severus, but Lily didn't count because she was her sister.

"Thanks." The Common Room was beginning to clear up and most of the Slytherins were starting to head over to the Great Hall for dinner. To Zinnia's relief, most of them hadn't noticed her, too caught up in their celebration, and it was like a breath of fresh air. Finally, finally, there weren't people staring at her like they were plotting her demise, or trying to curse her to hell.

She followed the crowd towards the Great Hall, holding a casual conversation with Emily. It was funny, she'd never realized how antisocial she was without Lily, but now that she was on her own, she realized how little she interacted with others.

Lily was sitting at the Gryffindor table, chatting with Marlene and Dorcas when Zinnia walked in. Their gazes met as Zinnia walked towards the Slytherin table, and Lily gave her a comforting smile.

"I wonder what happened. I'm glad she looks okay, though." Murmured Lily under her breath as she watched Zinnia sit down at the Slytherin table, talking with the pretty blonde girl next to her. Severus had stopped by to tell her that Zinnia had been at the Hospital Wing for most of the afternoon. He'd said something about a flying accident, and had hurriedly reassured Lily that it was nothing too bad before she could freak out.

"What?" Asked Marlene loudly, looking at Lily.

"Nothing. Just talking to myself." Lily gave her a pleasant smile and Marlene just shrugged.

"Hey, Lily. Is your sister okay? She wasn't looking too good last night." Remus asked Lily softly from across the table.

"What? Last night?" Lily's confusion was echoed in Remus' eyes.

"Didn't she tell you about it?" He asked worriedly, a furrow coming between his eyebrows.

"What's 'it'?"

"Nothing." Remus hastily tried to change the subject. If Zinnia had kept the Slytherin incident from Lily, she must have had a good reason, and he respected that. "What did you think of today's Potions class? I know you had one of the best potions. Slughorn was raving about it for the entire end of class."

"Thanks Remus, that's sweet of you to say. But don't change the subject." Lily told him sternly.

"Uh—" Stuttered Remus, looking awkward.

"What he means to say, Evans," interrupted James, which Remus flashed him a grateful look for, "Is that there was just a minor incident with the Slytherins last night. Nothing too big. We bumped into them and your sister just happened to be there. We exchanged a few spells, and lost by a margin, but we got them back with a few pranks today." James grinned with gleeful maliciousness. They'd turned the seventh year Slytherins' hair red and gold during breakfast.

"What?" Screeched Lily, "You got into a fight, again? What happened with Zinnia? Why was she even there? They were seventh years, right?"

James tried not to look like a deer in headlights as he scrambled for another lie.

He stuttered intelligently for a while until Sirius finally cut in.

"Just the usual Slytherin initiation stuff. Regulus told me about it." He said stiffly.

Lily narrowed her eyes skeptically, but didn't say anything further. She knew she wouldn't be able to get anything else out of them, so she decided to hound Severus later for details.

Dinner ended with a quiet Lily, deep in thought. She wolfed down her food, uttered a quick goodbye to Marlene and Dorcas, and headed to the Room of Requirement where she would meet up with Zinnia and Severus.

"What happened?" She immediately questioned as Zinnia walked in.

"What?" Zinnia asked, confused and a bit alarmed by Lily's urgent tone.

"What happened?" Lily repeated, "Remus told me that there was some kind of incident last night. Are you okay? Sev told me that you went to the Hospital Wing today."

Zinnia immediately adopted an innocently blank look. "What are you talking about? Nothing happened? They just bumped into the Slytherins and had a little fight. It wasn't anything major; you know that Slytherin and Gryffindor fights happen all the time. I just happened to be there."

"I don't believe you." Stated Lily bluntly. However, she couldn't rebuff any of Zinnia's answers—it matched with Remus and Potter's description of the event.

"Really, Lils, I'm fine. And I was just in the Hospital Wing for a bit because I fell off my broom like an idiot. I'm okay now." Zinnia tried to mollify Lily and divert her suspicions.

"Sorry I'm late." Said Severus, coming through the door, "I was held up by a conversation."

"It's fine." Smiled Lily, "I'm just glad we're all here. I guess we can go over the stuff we want to practice now."

"Oh yeah, Lily, can I go with you when you go visit Madam Pomfrey next time?" Asked Zinnia before she could forget.

"Sure! Why do you want to go?"

"I'm really interested in Healing. And I know you like its implication for the Muggle world, so…" She trailed off a bit awkwardly.

Lily huffed out a laugh and rolled her eyes, "I know you're lying, Zin. I know you too well. You're planning something, aren't you? It's fine, just come with me when I go."

Zinnia gave her a sheepish look, "Thanks." She knew she wasn't a good person, and she was thankful for Lily, who forgave all her bad qualities and only saw the good in her (which was very little, in Zinnia's opinion). Zinnia didn't really care about others, besides those she cared about. She didn't have any qualms about manipulating others, and she was fine with doing whatever she had to do in order to reach her goals. But Lily saw past her faults and still loved her wholeheartedly. And Zinnia loved her dearly for that.

That was probably one of the reasons why Lily got along with Severus so well—Severus was highly intelligent and was a good person in general, but he too, had many faults. He'd been raised in an abusive household, and had learned self-preservation at any cost. But Lily was too loving, too forgiving to see the bad in anyone (except for James Potter).

"I've learned quite a bit about curses from Tyrell. I can teach you two." Offered Severus, holding out a book of curses that he'd been clutching earlier.

"Avery?" Asked Lily in surprise, "How'd he know about the curses?"

"He grew up in a Slytherin Pureblood family." Severus answered wryly.

"True." Said Lily. "I don't think I'm up for learning about curses though." She looked a bit uncomfortable, "Maybe you can teach Zin later, if she wants. Can we just go over Ancient Runes right now? I want to take the class next year, but the textbooks I've been looking at are really confusing."

"Sure," Zinnia answered eagerly, "I've actually been trying to figure out Ancient Runes myself. The symbols are pretty complex, and when combined, they have totally different abilities from their individual runes. I can't figure out the pattern. It's a bit like Arithmancy."

"Don't forget we have to practice dueling later." Interrupted Severus, "Everyone who grows up in a Pureblood house learns how to duel from a young age, and you two have no experience with it. Mum's already taught me how to duel, so I can help you two."

"Alright, Sev. We can do that tomorrow. Let's just focus on Ancient Runes today, if that's okay with you." Lily didn't really want to learn dueling at the moment, and it would be too much if they tried to cover dueling and Runes in one evening.

"Fine." Severus didn't look too happy with the decision but he didn't argue any further.

Lily pulled out a tattered looking Ancient Runes textbook. "The symbols each have their own meaning, but the runes only take your magic and mold it into the type of magic dictated by the rune. The thing is, it's difficult to draw runes according to the type of magic you want it to be. It's like you have to study individual runes and play around with them by mixing them together to get what you want. But it's apparently way too dangerous for us to experiment with so we only learn the runes individually in class."

"But if you figure out which runes to put together, you'll have powerful magic." Mused Zinnia, thinking about the different ways she could use runes if she figured them out. It would be useful for her to draw them on her robes for protection, or even her bed to keep out unwelcome spells.

"Yeah." Answered Lily, "But there are so many different runes. It's a bit like Arithmancy. We've got to start studying individual runes though. There are literally thousands of them."

Severus looked mildly interested in the concept of runes but had no input for the two sisters. He was more into curses and hexes; concrete spells that he could cast and use. Runes were a bit too temperamental for his liking, and had too many unknowns. If you mixed the wrong runes together, you could destroy something.

The Evans sisters pored over the runes textbook for an hour while Severus scribbled in his worn Potions textbook. The only sounds in the room were occasional mutterings and the scratch of quill on parchment. At first, Zinnia and Lily had found quills to be the most annoying tools on Earth, but they'd gotten used to it; pens were something of a rarity.

Lily glanced at the clock hanging on the wall in front of her. "It's nearly nine. I've got to head back; Marlene wanted me to help her with the Charms essay."

"Alright, good night. See you tomorrow." Zinnia waved absently at Lily with her quill; she was still trying to work out a protection rune.

"Good night, Lily." Severus nodded at her, and Lily smiled at them and left.

As soon as Lily walked out the door, Severus immediately shot a glance at Zinnia. "Dueling?"

Zinnia smirked eagerly, "Of course. I've actually learned a few new hexes that I'm dying to try out."

Severus snorted, "I'd like to see you try and hit me. I've got some spells of my own."

The two were anxious to begin training for dueling—you needed those skills to survive in Slytherin. If you couldn't hold your own, you were screwed. No one wanted to ally with a weak and incompetent witch or wizard.

However, they both knew that Lily didn't find dueling as important as they did—and she didn't like the idea of using curses to hurt others; and they'd come to a mutual agreement to leave Lily out of everything they could hide from her. Slytherin politics were complicated and Zinnia and Severus didn't want Lily getting involved. It would only make things more complicated, and they didn't want Lily getting hurt. It some ways, Lily was still naïve. It was part of the reason why she was a Gryffindor. Zinnia, with her previous life's experiences, was mature and jaded. She saw the world for what is was—she saw the hurt and the death it caused. Severus, too, was cynical and had learned self-preservation from an early age. Growing up in an abusive household had left him broken; and he hid his vulnerabilities with such expertise that it seemed like he had none. They knew how life could shred a person and leave them raw and stained with tears. Lily did not; and she deserved to keep that innocence. Zinnia and Severus knew that they would always, always protect her.

Zinnia and Severus bowed at each other and readied their stances. Instantly, jets of light shot out from their wands, and Zinnia dived sideways to avoid Severus' curse. The two continued to duel, casting shields and shooting out spells at the most opportune times. Zinnia, however, found herself tiring within a minute into their duel. It was exhausting; mentally and physically, especially since she hadn't done any deliberate physical exercise since she'd died in her previous life.

Severus cast a stinging hex while she was distracted with dodging his curse and trying to cast one of her own. It slapped into her with a jolt of pain and Severus used her momentary distraction to quickly cast an _Expelliarmus_.

Zinnia's wand went flying out of her hand and she yielded, panting heavily while running after her wand. Severus looked worse for wear as well, but he was still in better shape than Zinnia was. She honestly had no idea how that was possible—he didn't exercise either—but he also did have an extra year of experience over her. Severus mostly hung out with the elite Purebloods like Mulciber and Avery, so he had a lot more knowledge about the Dark Arts than Zinnia did (she'd only had books to help her).

"I win." Severus smirked, gloating a bit over his victory.

"This time." Threatened Zinnia, irritated that she'd lost. Even though she had a wide range of spells that she could use, she still hadn't gotten the hang of thinking quickly enough to strategically choose which spells to cast next in the span of a second. Severus had practiced with his friends, and he'd already begun to develop that particular skill.

"You're not very fit." Noted Severus, eyeing Zinnia's hunched over form. She was leaning on her knees tiredly, and looked up to shoot him an icy glare.

"Thanks, it's not like I can't tell." She snapped sarcastically.

Zinnia scowled as she slowly straightened from her bent stance. She knew that she had an advantage in her mental strength and maturity over most Hogwarts students. But physically, she was undeniably and unbearably weak. Dueling was more of a battle of the minds—to see who could come up with the better spells to their advantage in the shortest amount of time. However, Zinnia could tell that she would need to improve her physical fitness as well, if she ever wanted to win. She needed to be faster; to decrease the amount of time her opponent had to think and react.

"I've really got to start exercising." She grumbled, stretching her already sore muscles. Her whole body was sore from all the running away she'd done the day before, and she was going to be even more sore the next day. Dueling had forced her to use all her nonexistent muscles at a high intensity. Zinnia regretted all the time she'd spent lying around and reading all day when she'd been growing up; she really should have started exercising and building up her physical strength.

"So," commented Severus casually as Zinnia stumbled over to a conveniently placed armchair to rest, "There've been some rumors that you and Lily have Rosier and Prewett blood. Care to tell me how these that happened?"

"Come on, Severus." Sighed Zinnia, sinking into the armchair. It really was comfortable. "Do you really think I could lie about something like this? You know that all witches and wizards need magic ancestry in order to inherit magic. Muggleborns just have less obvious and more distant lines of magic in their blood. Besides, I looked up the Evans genealogy last year while you and Lily were at Hogwarts. Your mum helped me. I kept the information to myself in case I needed to use it."

"Well, it's definitely coming in handy." Muttered Severus dryly, "Everyone in Slytherin knows that rumors have value. It's already spread to the seventh years, so I don't think you have to worry about them coming after you like they did yesterday. The Rosiers and Prewetts are part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, and the Rosiers are becoming a relatively prominent Death Eater family."

Zinnia raised an eyebrow. "You know what happened yesterday?"

"Of course. Rumors thrive in Slytherin. That's partly why I'm helping you train your dueling skills. And you don't seem to be badly injured, so I didn't comment on it. I figured you'd want to keep the incident to yourself."

Zinnia nodded gratefully. Her pride wouldn't allow her to beg others for help, and she didn't want to talk about what had happened anyway. She was just glad that it was over. From now on, she'd just have to deal with more minor forms of bullying; and it'd be good for keeping her on her toes.

"Teachers don't get involved in Slytherin affairs, right? Even Slughorn, our Head of the House?" Asked Zinnia, suddenly alarmed that other people might try to get into her business and consequently make her look like a snitch.

"Don't worry, most teachers don't know what goes on in Slytherin." Reassured Severus, "Slughorn is too stupid to notice anything anyway. And Dumbledore never gets involved with Slytherins. He doesn't like us."

"I guess he knows what goes on but doesn't really do anything." Zinnia wasn't really sure how to feel about Dumbledore. He'd seemed like such a hero in the books, but he'd also been flawed. She really didn't want him meddling in her affairs though—Zinnia wanted to solve her problem herself, and Dumbledore didn't really understand Slytherin politics that well. He'd been a Gryffindor, after all. That wasn't to say that he was ignorant or anything; he was just biased towards Gryffindors. It was human nature, after all.

It also didn't help that most Death Eaters came from Slytherin. Dumbledore was perfectly justified in his suspicions of Slytherins, but he tended to forget that not all of them wanted to be Death Eaters. But mostly, Dumbledore didn't bother with Slytherin affairs. He had more important things to do, as Headmaster and protector of Hogwarts. Voldemort was not an easy enemy to evade.

Severus and Zinnia debated the topic of Slytherin politics for a bit, and decided that it would continue to be best if Severus just avoided Zinnia in public and didn't appear overly close with her. Besides, he'd be able to gather more information that way. Personally, Zinnia was a bit worried that he might radically change his views to that of a Death Eater's if he spent too much time with potential Death Eaters. He'd seemed to have adopted those views in his later years at Hogwarts with the sole exception of Lily. However, Severus was still young, and Zinnia hoped she was guiding him in the right direction.

Severus left first to meet up with Avery and Mulciber, while Zinnia stayed behind in the Room of Requirement for further research. She wanted to be prepared for when she visited Madam Pomfrey. It'd look good if it seemed like she knew _something_ about Healing.

* * *

After the rough first couple of days, Zinnia adjusted to things rather quickly and even became accustomed to dodging spells and checking her things for curses. Deflecting minor bullying had become part of her daily routine, and Zinnia had actually learned a lot from avoiding al the bullying. She'd been able to try out different spells, and it kept her constantly aware of her surroundings. It'd be a good habit to have, and Zinnia was developing it well. Most of Zinnia's time was filled with classes, studying, spending time with Lily and Severus in the Room of Requirement, and playing chess. She planned to visit the Forbidden Forest sometime soon, but she really didn't feel like she had enough time at the moment to start. Chess was a difficult game, and Zinnia thought it to be like war. She was constantly trying to come up with new deceptive strategies, but she needed a lot more practice games if she even wanted to get into the top twenty. Besides, she spent a lot of her time at night running on the edge of the Forest when most students were asleep. Zinnia didn't like getting up early, and running at night tempered her dreams. Her Seer abilities hadn't really been acting up in her dreams for the most part, but she still had nightmares about her sister's death. Mercifully, the _Muffliato_ spell had been invented and Zinnia was able to hide her abilities from Reyna and Emily.

It was nearing Halloween, and thanks to Severus' training, she'd been able to vastly improve her dueling skills. Her chess skills and physical endurance had shot up like a rocket as well, but unfortunately, she hadn't improved to the point where dueling was her top skill.

 _Well, it doesn't matter._ Zinnia thought, mentally shrugging. _I probably won't be able to become one of the top duelers in Slytherin until second or third year anyway. The difference in upbringing between Muggle and wizarding families is just too wide. I'll just have to keep practicing and do the best I can until I can beat Severus so soundly he'll be crying snot for days._

At the moment, Zinnia was curled up in a small armchair in the corner of the Slytherin Common Room, trying to finish her Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. It was really the only class she actually liked and put an effort in—she actually did all of the homework for the class. Most of the time, Zinnia slacked off and fell asleep in class. All her extra research at night was taking a toll on her, but Zinnia didn't really care about her grades that much. What really mattered to her was her practical abilities. If she couldn't cast a spell, it wouldn't matter whether or not she knew which wars the wizards had lost to the giants, etc. Zinnia didn't do the homework that bored her, and as a result, her grades were bordering between dismal and average. However, she made sure that she would pass each class, even though it probably would be a borderline passing grade. Lily would be disappointed in her report card, but frankly, Zinnia couldn't bring herself to always focus her attention on the boring things in class, so she wouldn't do anything about her grades. All that really mattered was that she passed.

To most of the Slytherins, she seemed like a lazy slacker that was surprisingly good at dueling and chess. Zinnia was steadily climbing up the leaderboard in chess, and had proved her skills by always deflecting the poor attempts at bullying some Slytherins bestowed upon her. Zinnia actually wanted to cultivate the poor perspective others had of her. It would be better if they thought of her as incompetent; so when the time came, she could knock them off their high horses.

"Evans." A clipped voice interrupted her internal monologue. Zinnia looked up to see Evan and Arin Rosier staring down at her.

"Can I help you?" She asked coolly. The two had never really participated in the bullying, but she was wary of them nonetheless.

"There've been some…rumors that you have Rosier blood. Is this true?" Asked Arin, giving her a cold look.

"Yes. My great-great-great-great grandmum was a Rosier Squib." Zinnia had known they would confront her about the whole ancestry thing—everything she had told Emily about her bloodlines could only be counted as pure speculation, since she didn't have any of the Rosier or Prewett family trees as evidence. Pureblood families liked to know who was part of their family and who would benefit them, so it was obvious that the Rosier brothers would confront her.

"Well, I've got an unmarked family tree that goes back hundreds of generations with me. Point out your great-great-great grandmum." Zinnia tried not to snicker at Arin's reply—he sounded a bit ridiculous saying "great-great-great grandmum". Evan stayed quiet and observed their interaction.

"That's fine. Roll it out over here and I'll point her out."

Arin narrowed his eyes at her, "You do know that if you can prove it, I'll have to contact my parents and let them know, right? You're a Slytherin so they'll want to evaluate you, even if your blood relation is distant. We'll probably have to keep an eye on you."

"And if I can't prove it?" Zinnia watched his face carefully for any sign of change. It stayed neutral.

"Of course, you'll be in a _lot_ of trouble. And you don't want to know what kind. Using the Rosier family name for your own benefit is not appreciated, and you will be punished accordingly." Arin's dark green eyes glinted dangerously.

Zinnia turned her attention to the family tree in front of her and nearly sighed with irritation. The family tree was annoyingly long, and she pored through a bunch of tiny names until she spotted the one she was looking for.

"There." She said, pointing at the name, "Persephone Rosier. She's in my family tree. Want to check?"

"You're telling the truth." Arin scrutinized the name, "Persephone Rosier was blasted off our family tapestry for being a Squib, and there's no way you could've known that unless you visited the Rosier house." He stared at Zinnia for a long time, not saying anything.

"So?" Zinnia asked, breaking the silence.

"Thank you for your help." Arin told her, collecting the family tree and turning to go. "I'll let you know any further developments. I'll see you around." Evan nodded at her and followed after his older brother.

Zinnia felt like she had almost been accepted in a way, and it was a strangely pleasant feeling to be acknowledged by someone who had barely acknowledged her presence. Still, she knew that she'd probably have to do more tests; proving one's bloodline simply wasn't that easy. But Zinnia had confidence in her research, and Arin seemed to believe in their shared ancestry as well. And, well, he was the reigning chess champion so Zinnia wasn't going to complain.

The next day, Zinnia had gone through the day without a single attempt of bullying directed towards her. It was unnerving, and she kept looking over her shoulder, thinking that something big was going to happen while she wasn't paying attention. Nothing happened, though, for the rest of the week and Zinnia finally realized that it was because of Arin's public acceptance of her relation to the Rosiers when a group of third year Slytherin girls nodded at her instead of sneering at her, like they usually did. Arin was highly respected in their House, thanks to his position as reigning chess champion and his family's status. He was highly intelligent and charismatic, and he had an insane amount of allies and friends in Slytherin because of this.

She wasn't exactly respected yet, but most Slytherins were more wary of her and had generally stopped bothering her. If the Rosiers decided to accept her relation to their family, she would be associated with the Rosiers. Arin hadn't met with her again so far, but Evan, who was in her year, was noticeably friendlier towards her and even talked to her sometimes.

Things weren't entirely going her way, but they were improving. Zinnia still didn't have a concrete plan for the future, but at this rate, she'd be able to make more allies than she'd originally anticipated. If she wanted to take down Voldemort, she'd have to destroy him from the inside. To tear down his supporters one by one until he was left alone, vulnerable, and easily-destroyed. Zinnia knew that a good number of Slytherins were neutral, and if she could get them to ally with her, they'd be valuable assets. Severus would probably be asked to join the Death Eaters in the future, and even though it was dangerous, Zinnia thought it would be a good idea for him to act as a spy, similarly to what he'd done in the books. However, Zinnia definitely did not need Lily's death to be the catalyst to Severus changing sides. She'd just have to watch and see how things unraveled.

The next week, Arin met up with Zinnia in the Common Room with his parents' response.

"They're willing to accept you. But only if you can beat a Slytherin of their choice in a duel."

Zinnia wasn't surprised—she knew it wasn't going to be easy for the Rosiers to accept a Muggleborn as a distant relation to their family. "How much time will I have to prepare?"

"Two weeks. And I'll be watching the duel and reporting back to them. I'll give you more details about the duel later. If you win, you and your sister will be accepted as relations to my family. If you lose, you'll drop back down to Mudblood status. That's all."

There were high stakes riding on this duel, and Zinnia would have to do whatever she could to make sure she won. "Who's my opponent?"

Arin had a barely noticeable smirk on his face. "Orik Gamp. He's from a rival family of the Rosiers, and the Gamps have been trying to take our spot in the Sacred Twenty-Eight for a long time. And he's already agreed to it—if he defeats you, he'll have some leverage against us."

"Why would you agree to let him fight me if there are consequences for the Rosiers if I lose?" Zinnia wasn't quite sure what Arin was trying to accomplish here—she was only a first year, and those were bad odds against an experienced Pureblood fourth year.

"You're a Slytherin, aren't you?" Arin fixed her with a piercing stare. "Everyone has a weakness." And with that simple statement, he left.

Zinnia thought that all Slytherins secretly had a flair for dramatics.

She spent the next week stalking Orik Gamp. After her classes, she discreetly followed him around—he spent a lot of time flaunting his abilities, so Zinnia was calling it more of an observation rather than stalking. Of course, this took up a lot of time, so Zinnia actually had less time studying up the spells she'd need for the duel.

Her observations turned out to be a great use of her time, however. She finally understood what Arin had meant with his statement. Orik had a wide arsenal of powerful spells, but his thinking was rather simple and predictable once you figured out his habits. Zinnia continuously analyzed his movements—she even spent time watching him compete in chess matches. She was starting to feel a bit like Sherlock Holmes, and honestly, it made her feel pretty smart. Orik was a straightforward person who lacked multi-directional thinking. He was a bit like the Gryffindors, in some ways. Zinnia was a bit surprised that he was even a Slytherin. Still, she could use his lack of inventive thinking to her advantage.

Zinnia spent the week before the duel practicing the spells she was going to use and the speed of her spell-casting. She'd already devised a plan—it was easy to predict how Orik would react to her spell casting (he was just overly-aggressive in everything) and went over it with Severus. He approved of her plan but forced her to learn a few backup spells in case things didn't go the way she wanted them to. At the moment, Severus was in the process of creating a new curse (he wouldn't tell her what it was) and Zinnia's duel would be beneficial for him to watch so he could create a curse that would be able to counteract a more powerful opponent like Orik.

The day of the duel arrived too quickly for Zinnia's liking. Arin was currently standing with Zinnia in the Common Room and was explaining the duel to her.

"It'll be in an old Slytherin corridor that is rarely used anymore. That way, none of the Professors can interfere, and well, the corridor is good for publicity."

Zinnia rolled her eyes. All of Slytherin had heard about the duel—rumors travelled like lightning in her House—and a majority of them were planning to watch the duel.

"The duel ends if I can incapacitate him, right?" Zinnia was starting to feel a bit nervous, even though she'd stayed up late and had planned her actions for hours. "And if I win, what will happen to Lily?"

"Yes, that's how you win. And your sister isn't in Slytherin, but she'll have certain immunities if you win." The tension in the room was rising and Zinnia's heart was pounding loudly as Arin ushered her towards the exit of the Common Room.

"You'll be fine." Arin told Zinnia seriously, "As long as you impress me and everyone else."

Zinnia shot him a dirty look. "Thanks. No pressure or anything."

Arin smirked, "No pressure." The two had spoken quite often after Arin had told Zinnia about the duel; he'd explained the rules of dueling to her and their conversations had evolved from there. Their personalities meshed well, and Arin had developed a sibling-like relationship with her. The two had become fast friends; mostly because of their similar intelligence and maturity and interest in chess. Arin was the reigning champion of chess, but Zinnia had bluntly stated that she'd beat him before he graduated. Of course, he took this as a challenge, and the two often pitted their strategies against each other. Zinnia wasn't near Arin's caliber yet, but she was slowly getting closer.

Zinnia's footsteps echoed on the cold marble floors of the Slytherin corridors. The corridors gave her a chilling feeling; like she was alone in the world, constantly looking around darkened corners for enemies. She and Orik faced each other with grim expressions, though Orik's had a hint of smug self-confidence. They bowed and the audience around them held their breaths in silent anticipation.

Both flashed out spells at the same time, with Zinnia casting _Aguamenti_ and Orik casting a curse that would have blasted her arm with a second degree burn if she hadn't dodged quickly to the side right after she cast her spell. The water shooting out from her wand splashed onto Orik and she took his momentary shock and incredulity at the almost passive spell to blast a giant hole into the space next to him. He stumbled into the hole and tripped, crashing onto his back—he was dripping wet and the marble floor was slippery. Orik momentarily lost his grip on his wand and Zinnia cast an _Expelliarmus_ at his flailing form.

Immediately, the wand went flying out of his grip and Orik jumped to his feet and bolted after his wand. Zinnia smirked at his turned back and she cast a light spell that sent a few jolts of electricity onto the puddle on the floor. When Orik stepped closer to her with his wand, he unknowingly stepped into the puddle and was instantly electrocuted. Zinnia had made sure the volts were mild enough to just shock him a bit without severely injuring him.

The onlookers were silent with disbelief at Zinnia's swift victory and the way she had defeated Orik without using any curses or hexes. Zinnia wanted to keep her knowledge of curses to herself so she'd have the advantage when someone tried to attack her.

"Well," Arin said, grinning at Zinnia proudly, "You win. Marcy, can you take Orik to the Hospital Wing after cleaning him up a bit?" He directed the latter sentence towards a tall, slender Slytherin fifth year. Marcy nodded and undid the barrier around Zinnia and Orik. They'd set up a few wards to keep the flying spells from hitting any of the audience. She quickly cast a drying and calming spell on Orik and healed as much of his injuries as she could. With the help of a few other sixth year Slytherins, they hefted him up and started carrying him to the Hospital Wing.

"You just helped me win fifty Galleons." Arin smirked at Zinnia.

"What the hell? Did you guys bet on my duel?" Zinnia flashed him a false irritated look. She wasn't actually angry—she had known that there would be bets. Slytherins always bet on things. If she could have bet, she would have bet for herself.

"Yup." Replied Arin, grinning like a Cheshire cat, "I bet that you would win without directly casting curses on Orik, and I hit the jackpot. I'll split my winnings with you, so don't be mad."

Zinnia immediately perked up at this; she really needed an income to buy the things she wanted from Diagon Alley (she was too young to go to Hogsmeade) but couldn't get a job or find anyone that wanted to hire a tiny eleven year old. "Deal."

People suddenly crowded around her and started giving her congratulations. Evan actually smiled at her and Severus gave her a proud nod from within the shadows of the crowd. A few people were giving her looks and nods of respect—everyone now acknowledged her skill. She'd been able to prove that she was a Slytherin, and not a useless Muggleborn.

"What are you going to do about the hole on the floor though?" Zinnia asked Arin, staring awkwardly at the glaringly obvious hole in the middle of the corridor.

Arin shrugged carelessly and cast a _Reparo_ , making it look as easy as breathing. And it really wasn't that easy—Zinnia had put in a lot of effort into learning and casting that spell—but Arin's skills were easily that of a talented seventh year's, even though he was only a fifth year.

"Well then." Said Zinnia in response to Arin's powerful display of magic. He merely smirked again and fixed the rest of the surroundings before they all headed back towards the Common Room.

Zinnia received a personally handwritten letter from the Rosier matriarch the next day, which listed her acceptance as a distant relative of the Rosier family and acknowledged her. Zinnia knew that the Rosiers had only accepted her because of her skills, which would keep improving and one day benefit their family. She was now loyally bound to them, and she would be a powerful ally for them in the future. The Rosiers leaned more towards Pureblood elitist ideals, but they also acknowledged power. And Arin and Evan had looked past her status as a Muggleborn because of the Rosier family status. Arin wasn't terribly biased against Muggleborns, and since Evan almost idolized his older brother, he mimicked the respect that Arin gave Zinnia. If Zinnia had Rosier blood, she couldn't be a Mudblood—that would tarnish the Rosier family name. So they accepted her blood status and chose to see her as just another fellow Slytherin instead.

Lily had noticed the change in the Slytherins' behavior towards Zinnia. The ones that couldn't forgive her status as a Muggleborn still tried to bully her, but it wasn't as blatant as before. Now that Zinnia was associated with the Rosiers, they'd be punished if they were caught bullying her in public.

"What happened?" She immediately questioned Zinnia when she came into the Room of Requirement. Zinnia exchanged a furtive glance with Severus and shrugged. "Zin, what happened? All I know is that you suddenly stopped meeting with us in the Room as much, and now all the Slytherins are treating you normally. And I don't believe that bullshit excuse about failing Transfiguration you told me when you stopped coming to the Room."

"I _am_ failing Transfiguration, though." Zinnia said dryly, still trying to avoid the subject.

"Zin!" Lily looked torn between going on a tirade about grades and admonishing her for trying to change the subject.

"Fine, fine. I stopped coming because I was having my friend, Emily teach me how to play chess. We have competitions in Slytherin. Severus can back me up." Severus nodded sagely and Zinnia's statement.

"But why are they treating you differently? And the Slytherins don't give me dirty looks anymore whenever I hang out with Sev in public."

"Well…" Zinnia trailed off intelligently. "Uh—"

Severus shot Zinnia an exasperated glance. She really sucked at lying to Lily. "It's because she's been winning a lot of chess competitions and the Slytherins are gaining respect for her. Chess proves your intellectual ability as a Slytherin. And she's good friends with Arin Rosier now. Being his friend is a status boost." Zinnia nodded fervently in agreement.

"Arin Rosier?" Echoed Lily, looking surprised. Arin was well-known to the girls in all four Houses because of his good looks, suave personality, and sharp intelligence. He was nearly perfect. "I guess that explains a lot. How did you two become friends anyway?"

"He's the resident chess champion and I'm decently good at chess." Offered Zinnia. "Well, I've been kicking the third years' arses in chess, so I've actually been doing pretty well, if I can say so myself."

Lily laughed pleasantly, "I'm not surprised. What about you, Sev?"

Severus shrugged noncommittally. "I don't play chess that much, but I've beaten everyone I've played."

Having successfully distracted Lily's attention with chess and more mundane subjects, Zinnia avoided the subject of Slytherin for the rest of the night. She and Severus hadn't told Lily about the whole Rosier family thing because they hadn't wanted Lily to become bound to the Rosiers like Zinnia was. The less Lily knew, the better.

* * *

Halloween passed by without much of a fuss—or at least as quietly as it could when the Marauders were running around pulling pranks on everyone. They'd somehow gotten Peeves to torment the Slytherins with dungbombs and water balloons. Zinnia, thankfully, hadn't gotten hit, though Severus had gotten a bit of "special attention". He left for the Slytherin dorms early.

Zinnia hadn't really spoken with James or his friends since she'd bumped into them while she was being bullied by the seventh years. She'd been successfully avoiding them and James' attempts to talk to her. She really didn't want anything to do with them at the moment; she already had enough on her plate.

But as luck would have it (Zinnia cursed her bad luck all the time), James bumped into Zinnia while she was heading towards Potions class.

"Oi, midget Evans!" Called out James. Zinnia twitched with irritation. Surprisingly, though, he was alone, without his usual entourage.

"Don't call me that. Ever. Or one day, you'll wake up not knowing where all your hair went." She threatened, glowering at him.

James tried not to shiver; her glare was chilling. But then again, you weren't a proper Slytherin without a glare that could make grown men piss their pants. He coughed lightly.

"Anyway, why didn't you tell Lily about what happened with the Slytherins?"

Zinnia shot him a withering glare, "Are you daft? Do you really think I'd get Lily involved in Slytherin politics? Besides, it's none of your business."

"Why are you such an arse?" Snapped James, his pride wounded. "I was just asking. You're such a Slytherin." He mocked.

"I don't care. And I am a Slytherin. So stop bothering me and go on your merry way." Retorted Zinnia, not at all bothered by his insults.

"Oi, you owe me! We stopped those seventh years from attacking you. And you just ran away, like a coward." Anger rose in James; he didn't like being dismissed, and Zinnia was really getting on his nerves. He'd never liked Slytherins in the first place, but had only made an exception for Zinnia because she was Lily's sister. Honestly, he couldn't see how the two could even be related. They were way too different.

"I don't owe you anything." Hissed Zinnia, "I never asked for your help. You were the one who chose to cut in. It was just an opportunity for me to escape, not a favor." She had a lot of pride, and she really didn't think James had helped her. After all, he had stepped in of his own volition, and it had mostly been for his own gain. Confronting Slytherins and beating them down was basically one of his life goals at the moment; besides wreaking havoc with his pranks.

"You—" Whatever James had been about to say was cut off by another voice.

"Get out of the way, Potter. You're blocking the hallway." Regulus appeared next to Zinnia, sneering at James.

Seeing that he was outnumbered, James glared moodily at the two of them and walked away, presumably looking for the rest of his friends. "Whatever."

Zinnia turned towards Regulus, opening her mouth to thank him for getting rid of James.

He interrupted her before she could say anything. "Don't bother thanking me, Evans. The Rosiers may have accepted you, and you may have proved your abilities, but that doesn't change the fact that you're a Mudblood, and always will be."

He swiftly stalked away, heading towards Potions and leaving Zinnia just standing there and shooting daggers at his back. Nothing had really changed in her relationship with him, and his attitude just added to her fury.

* * *

Zinnia swept through most of her classes with ease, and flailed around for a bit in Transfiguration before finally letting go of her pride to ask McGonagall for help. The weeks passed by quickly with all her studying and research. The midterms were in three weeks, and it was already December. Most of the time Zinnia was either playing chess or studying with someone. She still spent a lot of time with Lily and Severus in the Room of Requirement, but she also had carved out some time for keeping her friendships with the Slytherins she'd been able to befriend. She and Emily now studied and did their homework together, and Reyna was slowly warming up to her. Zinnia usually had practice chess matches with Evan and Arin (though Arin won all the games) and found herself talking to a lot more Slytherins because of this. A lot of people would gather to watch the practice matches, and Arin was ever-popular; so the more time she spent around him, the more people she met.

Though Zinnia wasn't entirely respected in Slytherin, most people saw her as a fellow House member and treated her normally without disdain. This was a huge step for Zinnia, and she was already plotting out which students were neutral, which ones were supportive of Muggles, and which ones were blood purity elitists. Zinnia needed someone she trusted enough to become a spy. Voldemort most likely wouldn't try to recruit her because of her blood status, and even if she joined, she'd have a difficult time proving that she cut off ties with her family anyway. It'd be better if Zinnia stayed as a spy within Slytherin, watching initiated Death Eaters, but remaining unnoticeable to Voldemort. She needed to hide her Seer abilities so she could counter his every move; even though Voldemort would want a Seer on his side, Zinnia wouldn't have freedom to move around and plot as she liked as a known Seer. So she kept her abilities quiet (with the exception of Severus and Lily who already knew) and made sure to _Muffliato_ her bed every night. She wasn't having many prophetic nightmares; but that was only because Voldemort had slowed his movements and was now hiding and planning future attacks. Everything would probably begin to explode in her second year, when Voldemort would have gathered a large amount of followers and spies; and would have built the foundations for all his plans.

But Zinnia was starting to feel like she would be prepared, and that Lily would be prepared. She'd take down Voldemort, little by little, and shatter his plans so thoroughly that he'd be unable to ever make an attack.

* * *

 **A/N: I got the whole "Sacred-Twenty Eight" thing from the Harry Potter wiki. Apparently, they're a group of traditional Pureblood families. I can't remember if it was ever mentioned in the books though.**

 **Anyway, thank you to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviewed this story! And as usual, please let me know if you see any problems. Thanks!**


	9. I can see it all so clear

Reply to Goldspark1: Thanks so much for reviewing and for your kind words! There'll definitely be some more Slytherin attacks in the future. But for now, because Zinnia hasn't really done anything particularly antagonizing, some Slytherins haven't broken their neutral stance, and the ones that still hate her are keeping their distance. But in her second year, things will start to speed up, and she'll have to take action.

Reply to Tiki: Thank you for reviewing and leaving your thoughts! And thank you for clearing up the whole James and Lily thing for me. Right now, it's more of an infatuation than a crush, which won't develop until his third year. I feel like James is a really confident person, so he would have no qualms about flirting publicly with Lily (even though they're so young). And I think it's also the boyish immaturity of his age.

Reply to Guest: Thanks so much for reviewing, I try to update as soon as I can! XOXO to you too.

* * *

Even with Zinnia's newfound status, most of the time, Slytherin was not a fun place. Sure, the Slytherins showed her the proper respect that people were supposed to receive, but she knew that some of them secretly resented the fact that a Mudblood like her could even be accepted as an association with the Rosiers.

And getting subtly bullied the week before the midterms was not fun. Zinnia had hardly studied any of her subjects or done any of the homework for her classes. It'd only felt like a waste of time—she was a grown woman, for fuck's sake, and she didn't have time to be learning concepts for twelve year olds when she could be working on improving her abilities. Because that was all that mattered; power and intelligence. Without these two qualities, there was no survival.

All she had to do was gain true respect in Slytherin and outwit Voldemort. But these were no easy feats, and she'd be a fool to think she was fine without training and absorbing knowledge like a madman.

Even so, her midterms were vital, because she'd have to pass them if she wanted to continue her studies at Hogwarts. There was no way she was going to let herself get expelled, so she was going to need to cram all five hundred pages of each textbook into her head in order to pass.

Things were usually relatively quiet in the Common Room; people were usually too stressed to really do anything to each other. But Zinnia liked to study at the library—for some reason, the atmosphere soothed her and allowed her to concentrate on her studies better. The only downside was that she was completely vulnerable to attacks in there.

The Slytherins that hated her could easily hide behind stacks and shoot spells, or damage her books or bag when she went to go get a new textbook. They did petty things, like breaking her quill or spilling ink on her books. It wasn't overly harmful, just extremely irritating. By the time the day ended, Zinnia was ready to shove a book down the throat of the next person who dared bother her.

"Hey, Zin." Greeted Lily, who'd pulled her aside after dinner.

"What?" She snapped irritably, but immediately regretted it.

Lily looked taken aback by her sharp tone. "You okay?"

Zinnia sighed wearily, "Yeah, it's nothing. Just a long day, with studying for midterms and everything." All the stress was starting to make her feel like a simmering volcano. There were millions of things on her mind, and thousands of things to juggle. Even though she was technically an adult and knew how to handle difficult situations, all this stress was going to make her hair fall out before she graduated. She wasn't really up for being the bald Evans sister.

"Are you sure?" Pressed Lily, frowning. She knew something was going on in Slytherin, but Sev and Zin would always change the subject every time she asked. Honestly, it was extremely annoying and it hurt her because she was their best friend, for Merlin's sake. They weren't supposed to keep secrets from each other.

Zinnia nodded firmly. Deciding the let the subject go for now, Lily decided to pursue the topic of studies.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're _finally_ studying for finals." She told her sister, shaking her head worriedly at Zinnia's lack of interest in her studies.

"It's not like I'm going to let myself fail." Zinnia answered wryly. "So were you going to ask something?" She really didn't feel like dwelling on studying; she had better things to do.

"Yeah. I just wanted to let you know that Sev and I can't meet with you in the Room for the next two weeks because of midterms. But I promise I'll meet up with you sometime during the week and—"

Zinnia cut her sister off before she could continue her rambles of guilt. "It's fine, don't worry about it. Stop stressing yourself out on something that doesn't matter. Just concentrate on your studying; I know it matters a lot to you." Part of the reason Lily studied so hard was to prove that she wasn't held back by her status as a Muggleborn. Even though she was in Gryffindor, she still got hate for her blood status, and she wanted to show everyone it didn't matter if she was a Muggleborn or Pureblood—they were all the same.

"I'm so sorry Zin. I really want to spend time with you. But I'm so behind on Arithmancy, I've really got to catch up!"

Zinnia waved it off and bid her sister goodnight. It had felt like they were drifting a bit further lately, due to their year and House differences, but they would always be sisters. And that was all that mattered.

She trudged up the stairs to her room and opened the door to find Emily and Reyna lying on the floor with textbooks open all around them.

"You two miss dinner or something?" Dinner wasn't over yet but she hadn't seen either of them at the Slytherin table.

Reyna's head jerked up from her Potions textbook. "It's dinner already?" She gasped in horror.

"Don't worry, there's still some food." Zinnia reassured her calmly. For someone who placed a heavy emphasis on physical appearances, Reyna was surprisingly in love with food and hated missing meals. The food at Hogwarts was mouthwateringly amazing (Zinnia really needed to look for the kitchens sometime this year).

Emily stood up and stretched, looking unruffled and as cool as ever. "Thanks for letting us know. Want to study with us when we come back?"

"Sure." Shrugged Zinnia. She didn't really feel like going out of their room anyway.

Emily flashed her a grin and walked over to Reyna who was waving her arms around and screeching something to do with hurrying up and food.

After the door shut behind them with a soft thud, Zinnia flopped onto her bed tiredly, not caring how dirty her robes were. In all honesty, robes were disgustingly annoying and she still wasn't accustomed to them. Why couldn't the magical world have hoodies? And why the fuck did all the girls have to wear skirts? She desperately missed the casual freedom of the twenty first century.

All her musings aside, there was a lot that needed to be considered. But her heavy thoughts slowly lulled her to sleep, and her soft bed felt so nice. It wasn't long before she fell asleep, dreaming of nothing.

There was a heavy push on her shoulder and Zinnia woke up with a jolt. She opened her eyes blearily (and a bit grumpily) to see a scowling Reyna.

"You want to study or not? We leave you for a few minutes to eat some food and you just fall asleep? Seriously?" Grumbled Reyna.

Zinnia just stared at her. Reyna had just touched her shoulder without freaking out about how she'd just touched a Mudblood.

Well, this was a huge improvement. Zinnia felt the corners of her mouth tug up, and she pulled herself off her wonderfully comfortable bed.

She shuffled over to where Emily was studying intently and yawned.

"Sorry. What are you studying?" She sat cross-legged beside Emily and Reyna lay down on the other side of Emily.

"Potions. You're good at this, aren't you? Professor Slughorn always raves about you and Black." Emily asked, raising an eyebrow. She pushed the textbook over to Zinnia.

"Potion to cure hiccups? Didn't we just brew that last week?"

"Yeah," answered Reyna, "But we got a Poor."

Zinnia nearly snorted with surprise and amusement. "What? Why?"

"Because some genius over here decided to try a different number of stirs." Emily stared pointedly at Reyna who looked away innocently.

"Well," Zinnia continued, with a hint of humor in her tone, "At least it wasn't a Troll. I'm surprised you even got a Poor. How many stirs did you change?"

This prompted an entire tirade from Emily, who started a long speech about how after getting the first stir wrong, they should've continued with the correct amount instead of trying to adjust it to match their mistake.

From the look on Reyna's face, Emily had probably pent up her anger over the incident for a while, and finally exploded. Zinnia guessed that it had been the first Poor she'd gotten, which was why she was making such a big deal out of it. The Notts had high academic standards.

At least Emily was a more mellow type of person and hadn't started shouting.

"Do you want me to explain the potion or not?" Zinnia interrupted dryly.

Emily sat back down with a huff. "Alright."

Reyna shot Emily a terrified look. "Sorry about that?"

"Whatever, it's over now. Let's just make sure we get it right on the test."

"Anyway." Zinnia cleared her throat awkwardly.

After explaining the whole theory of the potion and the effects of each ingredient and stir and why order was so important in potions, she was met with blank stares.

"What?" Reyna asked bluntly, "I have no idea what you just said. Why are your grades so bad? You sound like some kind of genius." Emily nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Uhhh…" Zinnia trailed off, unsure of what to say. Why had it been so difficult for them to understand?

With a cold chill of horror, she realized that she'd forgotten that everyone around her were only children. And that she was supposed to be a child herself.

"Sorry, I'll try to explain it better." She answered vaguely, and relaunched into an extremely simplified version of what she'd said.

Zinnia helped Emily and Reyna with Potions for another hour, but announced that she was feeling tired and wanted to go to bed. Emily shot her a concerned look (Zinnia never slept before twelve A.M) before continuing to study.

After taking a quick shower, Zinnia used _Muffliato_ on her curtains as usual, and crawled into her blankets. She felt like she was in a daze, like somehow what she was living wasn't reality. Was it even reality? What if this was all a crazy dream, and she'd wake up in the hospital? Everything felt fake and detached; _she_ felt fake.

She was an adult in a child's body.

For some reason, this statement had never really registered with her until now, and it slammed into her like a truck.

There was no one else that could ever understand her. The students in Hogwarts were blissfully ignorant to the true atrocities of war. If they thought what Voldemort was doing now was bad, what the future held for them would be darker and more agonizing than hell.

Only Zinnia understood this, besides the professors. She'd seen families ripped apart by war (she's lost her own father to the war in Afghanistan) and truly knew that war wasn't just some distant idea.

She was alone. There could be no other student that knew these pains firsthand, and they were all far too inexperienced to know; even the seventh years. The First Wizarding War had barely even started. And the adults only saw her as a child, and would not—no, could not, see her as an adult, an equal.

Disoriented, she fell into a troubled sleep with a torn mind. Her nightmares of the future writhed inside her mind, flashing blood and death. Tonight, she was particularly vulnerable to her ability as a Seer, and her magic ran wild, lashing like a sharp branch in a heavy storm. Piercing screams filled her ears, empty eyes bored into her soul.

 _Only the strong can survive_.

A cruel laugh echoed, and Zinnia woke up with a raw scream still half lodged in her throat.

Gasping heavily, she clutched the blankets to her heaving chest as she sat up. Soulless eyes and unmoving faces still twisted with terror filled her view. They were all that she could see. A whole family of Muggles that would be murdered by the cold hands of Death Eaters. They weren't even good enough for Voldemort to come kill them himself.

The white, cool sheets twisted in her hands as she tightened her grip on them.

 _That could be my family._

An imaginary gust of wind chilled her skin, giving her goosebumps. What could she do? She was a person, one out of billions on this planet. She was one of millions in the wizarding world. And she was alone. Only she knew the future, only she was trapped in a body younger than her actual age.

But this was her family. The people she was born to, who loved her as one of her own, despite her shortcomings. Even if she hadn't been born to them first, they were her family, and she needed to save them. No matter what, even if it killed her.

It didn't matter that she was alone, it didn't matter that she had no one she could rely on. She had allies and friends that would never know the truth, who were unknowingly helping her with her goal. She had a family that loved her that knew nothing of her goal. And she was alone, but it really didn't matter.

She would do whatever she could. Alone.

With that thought, she dragged herself of bed and picked up the Ancient Runes textbook that she'd been neglecting for the past few weeks. It was time for her to actually do something, to change something. Because she'd barely even changed anything in these past eleven years, and she needed to do better than that if she was going to take down Voldemort.

The next day found her with dark circles under her eyes and an exhausted countenance. In almost every class, she fell asleep, leaving herself vulnerable to attacks from her fellow Slytherin first years. But she didn't care. In the long run, a few broken quills, ripped pages, and missing papers weren't going to make a difference.

It would be tiring beyond her imagination to continue with such a tight schedule, but she needed to do this if she wanted to actually do something. All the students thought too differently, too childishly, and she felt alienated with her own ideals and aspirations. So whatever the Slytherins wanted to do to her didn't matter. She was an adult, someone with an understanding of how the world worked. Not a child, who needed to make someone else's life miserable just because someone else was different from them.

After her last class, she made sure to visit Madam Pomfrey and apologize for not visiting her for a while, using her busy schedule as an excuse. In reality, she'd just been too concentrated on learning stronger hexes in order to further her skills and widen her arsenal. Madam Pomfrey was as welcoming and kind as ever, and even though Zinnia was just using her to further her knowledge, she enjoyed spending time with the caring matron. Her Hospital Wing had a soothing atmosphere that calmed Zinnia's nerves, and their conversations were light. It was a relief to hold a conversation with someone without constantly searching for ulterior motives and hidden meanings. Slytherins did everything sneakily, and though Zinnia did as well, it could get tiring, seeing everyone as an enemy.

By Friday, Zinnia's frenzy had turned her into a living zombie. All the late night extracurricular and cramming for midterms had left her bereft of the feeling of living. She felt like a robot, someone who couldn't stop, no matter how tired she was.

At the moment, she was in the library busy trying not to slam her head into the Transfiguration textbook with frustration. All her emotions felt drained and faded, leaving her just anger and frustration.

 _Leave it up to McGonagall to give us a fucking essay the week before finals._ She grumbled internally, wanting to rip her paper in half.

There was a soft shuffling noise behind her and she looked up to see Regulus Black walking into the library. All the seats were full except for the one next to hers, she noted with rising disgust. He spotted the empty chair and headed for it and nearly stopped when he saw Zinnia sitting there. She quickly looked away and subtly pushed her things into the empty space beside her to take up the area. Her swift movements stirred a bit of the dust on the table, and she let out a sneeze.

Regulus frowned with revulsion as he neared the table and shot her a glare.

"Stop getting your Mudblood germs everywhere, it's disgusting."

Zinnia's previous frustration with Transfiguration mixed with her rising anger, giving her the temperament of an erupting geyser. "Sorry, I'm allergic to arseholes, so when I saw you coming near me I just had to sneeze."

He sneered at her, "Very funny, Evans." He hovered awkwardly near the empty chair, half torn between trying to find somewhere else and just sitting down next to Zinnia.

"If you're going to stand around like a lost puppy, you should just leave. Before Madam Pince kicks you out for being an idiot."

"Shut up." He snapped at her, and moodily sat down next to her with elegance. It was almost time for midterms, and there were barely any good spots left. He was a Black, and he had to conduct himself like a Black; so he certainly couldn't be seen standing around aimlessly.

Zinnia shifted as far away from him as she could the minute he sat down.

"Don't worry," Regulus glowered at her, "I wouldn't want to touch your dirty Mudblood things."

The student across from Zinnia—a Ravenclaw she noted, looking at his tie—looked up sharply when he heard the word "Mudblood", but sighed exasperatedly when he saw their Slytherin ties. Zinnia was the only Muggleborn in Slytherin at the moment, and for that, she was rather infamous.

"Look," he said, "I'm trying to study and I don't need your Slytherin blood status disputes right now, so can you please stop arguing?"

Zinnia and Regulus flashed him dirty looks that had him quickly lowering his eyes back to his textbook.

"Whatever." Zinnia muttered and tugged her things as close to her as possible before turning her attention back to her Transfiguration essay.

She flipped through her textbook with extra force, nearly ripping a page from its seam.

 _Just what I need. A Transfiguration essay I'll fail for sure, and an annoying blood purist sitting next to me while I try not to screw up my essay._

The essay was about transfiguring objects into animals, and the laws associated with it, as well as its implications. She had no idea how McGonagall expected a bunch of eleven year olds to do this work. Was anyone even passing that class? Lily had gotten an Outstanding, and Severus had gotten an Exceeds Expectations, but they were certifiable geniuses. Besides, Lily would have so much talent that Voldemort tried to recruit her in the previous timeline. And Severus had been a double agent without Voldemort ever finding out until the last moment. That took some hardcore skills.

But Zinnia wasn't a genius, she was just an adult. Her mature mentality may have made her seem like a genius, but once they got to their sixth/seventh year, she'd just be another one of the students.

She sighed heavily as she wrote down one sentence on her otherwise blank paper. Other Slytherins all collaborated on this essay, but Emily and Reyna had used such incomprehensible concepts in their writing that Zinnia had just given up trying to copy and decided to write it herself.

"Will you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate, and I can't when you're sighing and flipping the pages like a maniac." Hissed Regulus.

"No." She shot him an irritated glance, "I'm trying to concentrate on my Transfiguration essay and that's how I work."

If he had asked politely, she would have stopped. But his rudeness rubbed her the wrong way, and she couldn't stop the spark of anger that had risen at his words.

Regulus went back to his work with a scowl. There was a long silence, and Zinnia concentrated on trying to understand Transfiguration theories until she caught Regulus discreetly looking at her paper. When he saw that she'd only written two sentences, he frowned harshly and went back to his on paper.

Zinnia looked over at what he was doing and smirked. His paper was completely blank.

 _Looks like the almighty Black has something he can't do._

Well, whatever. He wasn't her problem, and she was trying to figure it out herself. Remembering something Lily had told her over the summer, she abruptly stood up and walked over to the shelves, missing Regulus' look of curiosity. She pulled out the book that Lily had told her to read—she'd had difficulty reconciling the Muggle and magical world as well, and apparently reading the book had helped a lot.

Opening to the chapter about Transfiguration and the nature of atoms, she quickly read the section for any insights.

 _Eureka_. She muttered to herself, and started scribbling her ideas madly. The book had given a basic concept about magic, but it had gone in depth about the malleability of things and their changes.

Zinnia had found her difficulty in how inanimate objects could be given life. After all, how could magic give something life without reaching the levels of a God? But the book had explained it well. When McGonagall changed her desk into a pig, the pig wasn't actually alive. Its basic components were those of a desk, and it had only taken the appearance of a pig. Simply put, it was a tangible illusion, and the pig could only move and make sounds through the use of her magic. Magic ran through the pig, causing it to move based on McGonagall's will, and though it had been breathing, it hadn't been filled with life. It just appeared to be alive.

This opened up a thousand doors for Zinnia, and she found herself finishing her essay within an hour. When she finally finished, she set her quill down with a flourish and stretched with satisfaction.

She looked over to see Regulus staring at her paper, and when he saw that she had noticed, he flushed lightly and looked away stoutly.

When she finished packing her things, he hadn't looked up once. He was too proud to ask for help, and too young to find beliefs for himself that weren't based on his family's beliefs. Zinnia felt a tiny stab of pity for him. She didn't even want to imagine what it would have been like if she'd been born a Black. No matter how rude he was, he was just a child, and she was an adult, so she'd act like one. There was no use in holding petty grudges. So she left the book she'd gotten on the table and left the library. If he wanted to use it, he'd use it.

The week of midterms came too quickly for Zinnia's liking, but she didn't really care. Cramming the night before was good enough for her, and she was confident that she'd ace her tests. Or maybe not. It didn't matter as long as she passed. The rest of the week was decidedly more pleasant, because with midterms over, she finally had more time to tackle the issue of Ancient Runes. So far, she'd memorized half of the known runes, and was trying to figure out the usage of placing them together. It was hard to pin down the meaning of each rune, and when you paired different runes together, you had to make sure they were lined in order correctly in order to get the effect you wanted. If you made just one error, the whole thing could blow up in your face. Which was why Hogwarts only allowed the study of the theory, not its practical uses.

The whole subject was mind-boggling and frustrating, so Zinnia just gave up on that and waited for Christmas break to come. Even though she had a long way to go with her magical skills, she was looking forward to a long rest and finally getting to spend more time with Lily and Severus. She'd really missed their long conversations and banters, and the comfort of their presences.

When the morning break began came, there was a huge explosion of colors. Once everyone sat down, their clothes turned red and gold, which was a huge giveaway to the culprits of the prank.

Zinnia picked at her now red and gold sweater and watched as all the Slytherins around her gave shouts of disgust and tried to change their clothes back to normal. Their efforts were amusingly fruitless, and even the professors had been turned red and gold. She could tell Dumbledore was chuckling, while McGonagall sternly scanned the room for the culprits.

And then James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter stood up on the bench where they were sitting.

"Merry Christmas from the Marauders!" Bellowed James as loudly as he could, and Sirius burst into cheers. Remus was flushed from all the attention and awkwardly raised his hands in some kind of sign of agreement, while Peter cheered along with Sirius.

There was dead silence for a few long seconds before the entire Gryffindor table broke out into elated shouts (with the exception of Lily, who sat there, rolling her eyes) and the now dubbed Marauders grinned cheekily.

Everyone at the Slytherin table looked on with revulsion and a good half gave boos of anger, which was covered up by the sound of the Hufflepuff table joining in on the raucous cheering. The Ravenclaws looked as calm as ever, but some of them joined in.

 _What a fine time to be a Slytherin_ , Zinnia smirked to herself. They were such killjoys. It was alright though, she'd never been one for celebrating herself.

She suffered through Severus' complaining on the train ride back, and Lily's fuming, though she could tell the Lily liked the new colors of her sweater.

"Those gits think they're so smart. This sweater's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen." Griped Severus. "Too bad we can't use magic outside of school, or I'd definitely change the color back."

"Well, the sweater's not all that ugly." Lily interjected. At Severus' betrayed look, she quickly added, "But that was completely immature of them, and it was a terrible prank. People who hate gold and red have to wear it."

"You could always take off the sweater." Zinnia told Severus dryly.

He sniffed at her and grumpily folded his arms over his chest.

Lily laughed and then started a whole rant about her midterms. "I'm really scared for History of Magic. There was so much to memorize! I think I mixed up two of the leaders. What'd you get for number twenty-five, Sev?"

Listening to the two "older" kids discuss their grades and tests was nothing new, so Zinnia just rested her head on the seat and drifted off to sleep.

"Zin! Wake up!" Lily's worried voice penetrated the heavy fog of sleep, and Zinnia's eyes snapped open.

"What?" She asked drowsily, still trying to rub some of the sleep out her eyes.

"You were screaming." Murmured Lily gently, and she put an arm around Zinnia's shoulders. Severus was looking concerned as well, and he sat across from them without saying anything.

"It was a good thing you showed us the _Muffliato_ spell. Sev cast it before anyone could get suspicious." Lowering her voice, Lily continued on. "Was it _those_ dreams?"

"Yeah." Zinnia leaned into Lily's comforting arm, and the contents of her dream slowly came back to her.

"What was it about? You can tell us, okay? We want to help." Lily's voice was soft and soothing.

"I—" Zinnia's voice cracked before she licked her lips and continued, "I saw the faces of another Muggle family."

Dead, dead faces always stared up at her in her dreams. Always. There was so much killing, so much death, so much despair. She was glad that they only came in flashes; she wouldn't have been able to handle the entire scenes.

"Voldemort?" Asked Severus solemnly. Zinnia nodded and refused to say anything more. She didn't want to burden either of the twelve-year olds with anything else. Just knowing about her abilities as a Seer was stressful enough for their young minds.

"We'll take him down. I promise." Lily squeezed her hand and Severus voiced his assent.

"Thanks." Muttered Zinnia.

The three of them were quiet for the rest of the ride. But Zinnia could feel all of their spirits lift as they got off the train to see the Evans and Eileen waiting for them.

Lily ran into her parents' arms and Zinnia trailed behind her before her parents engulfed her in the hug as well.

For the first time since she'd been born into this world, she felt tears prick her eyes. They burned, and her throat ached. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed their unconditional love, and the warm atmosphere of the Evans family until this moment.

"Thank you." She whispered to her parents. They exchanged unreadable looks, but smiled at Zinnia.

"We've missed you two so much." Her mum gently kissed her forehead, and Zinnia smiled genuinely.

Warmth blossomed in her chest, and a protective feeling surged. There was no way she'd let them end up like the Muggle family she'd seen in her dreams. Never.

She walked next to her family contently as Lily chattered about school and why their sweaters had all turned gold and red. Her parents chuckled with amusements at that part, and Severus added his own two cents on the topic from where he was walking with his mum.

When she was with her family, all was right with the world. Its ruthlessness faded, and the cruelties of war melted into nothing. Her family was all she needed.

It was an enjoyable holiday for all of them, though not that much for Petunia. She hadn't even bothered to go to the station to pick them up, which stung more than Zinnia wanted to admit. Lily, who wasn't as secretive with her feelings, had visibly wilted at the lack of her older sister's presence.

Christmas dinner was filled with laughter and cheer, and their parents openly gushed over Lily's accomplishments as a witch. It was a bit unfair to Petunia, who'd only gotten average grades in an average school, and she could see jealousy rearing its ugly head in her.

After dessert, she stormed up to her room, fuming silently. Lily started to follow her, but Zinnia grabbed her arm and shook her head. Petunia wouldn't want to see the person who was at the center of their parent's attention, and it was even more hurtful because Lily was younger than her.

Zinnia quietly went up the stairs and knocked on Petunia's door before opening it.

"Hey." She said hesitantly, regretting her decision to try and comfort Petunia. She was terrible with words and didn't know what to say to her.

"What do you want?" Petunia lifted her red-rimmed eyes and sniffed loudly.

A crying Petunia was never a good thing, and it was a really awkward thing for Zinnia because she really didn't know how to deal with crying people.

Sitting beside her, Zinnia patted Petunia's back uncomfortably. "Mum and dad know how good you are. They only say those things 'cause we're almost never home, and they never get to tell Lily how proud they are of her."

"They never tell me they're proud of me." Muttered Petunia, wiping her eyes. "How come you're here and not with Lily?"

Her statement jolted Zinnia. She'd neglected Petunia while spending time with Lily—they'd been too caught up in the world of magic.

"You're my sister too, you know. Besides, even though you were mean to us, I can kind of understand why. I mean you're the only one without magic, which is really unfair."

"I wish I had magic too." Confessed Petunia quietly, "It's not fair that you guys get to go to Hogwarts while I'm stuck in this dumb town. And Lily's smarter than me. I hate it!"

"You should tell mum and dad how you're feeling. I think they forgot how much you need their praise too, because they see you every day, unlike Lily and me." Zinnia was surprised by Petunia's lack of animosity towards her and decided to seize the chance to understand why Petunia hated them so much.

"It doesn't matter. Lily's always so perfect, mum and dad love her the most." There was a dark and bitter note in Petunia's voice as she continued, "She got all perfect scores again. When the grades came with those stupid owls yesterday, mum and dad were all excited. They weren't that excited when my grades came back. Or yours."

Zinnia coughed with embarrassment. "Grades shouldn't matter. It depends on how much effort you put in. You study hard, right? Just be sure to let mum and dad know. I know they love and appreciate you as much as Lily."

"Didn't you notice how mum and dad barely said anything about us at dinner? Just because we didn't get good grades." Her tone dripped with acid.

"Just because Lily does better doesn't mean they love us any less. And what are they supposed to say to us? 'Congrats on your crappy grades'?" Reasoning with Petunia was difficult enough, but her stubborn jealousy was making the whole situation worse.

"Why does it always feel like you're the older one? It's kinda weird; you're younger than me but you always know what to say." Petunia was looking a bit lighter, though her face was still dark with jealousy.

"That's because I _am_ older than you." Zinnia told her seriously.

Petunia let loose a bark of laughter. "If you say so. I guess we should go down for opening presents. And, uh, thanks. For talking with me, I mean."

"I'm sorry I didn't make an effort to talk to you before. And even though you don't have magic, I think you're a cool older sister."

Trying to hide her pleased look, Petunia shrugged and walked downstairs, a lot calmer than before.

"Mum, dad." Petunia announced, "I think it's unfair that you always praise Lily. I work just as hard, and I think you should praise Zin and me too."

Their mum and dad immediately stood up. "Oh, honey, I didn't know you felt like that. I'm so sorry." The two of them hugged Petunia, and Zinnia quickly took a spot next to Lily on the couch, satisfied with the outcome.

Severus and Eileen looked a bit uncomfortable at the private scene, and the two of them averted their eyes. Zinnia snorted. Like mother, like son.

After that, Petunia gave Lily less glares, and was considerably nicer. And by nicer, Zinnia meant that she didn't ignore Lily and gave short answers.

They had a long way to go, but it was a start. Everyone's attention turned to opening presents, and Zinnia was pleasantly surprised by the gifts she received. She'd gotten two, obviously from Lily and Severus, and then a small one from Petunia and a large one from her parents. Emily had sent her one, and even Reyna had given her a package (although it was only a few chocolate frogs). The last present was wrapped in a delicate silver, and looked almost terrifyingly elegant. Zinnia was almost afraid to rip the wrapping. She carefully picked up the card and noted with astonishments that it was from the Rosiers.

The card read:

 _To Miss Zinnia Evans:_

 _Thank you for your gift. It was well received and we welcome you as an association of our family. Happy holidays._

 _The Rosier family_

It was short and straight to the point. Zinnia had gotten them a gift as a token of appreciation for accepting her as an association to their family, but she hadn't expected something in return. Thankfully, she'd asked Eileen about Pureblood Slytherin traditions, so her gift hadn't been something useless or insulting.

The gift from the Rosiers was an expensive quill set and a book on wizarding chess strategies. They were all things she needed, and she guessed that Arin had picked the things out after seeing how all her quills had been broken by some Slytherins. It was also, amusingly but annoyingly, a show of how filthy rich they were, which in turn showed the status of their family; and the book was an obvious jab from Arin telling her to step up her game if she ever wanted to beat him.

She smirked nastily. He'd never know what hit him by the time she was done with the book.

Unfortunately, the Christmas holidays passed by as quickly as her midterms week did, and she was back at Hogwarts. Over the break, she'd spent a lot of quality time with Severus and Lily, and was glad to see that things were still the same. They'd been spending a lot less time together, and Zinnia had been afraid she'd be out of the loop. Lily and Severus spent all of their time together most of the time, but since Zinnia was a year younger, she was never really in the same vicinity as them.

But the three of them were as close as ever, and it was a huge comfort to Zinnia, who was still trying to juggle a few of the more nasty Slytherins' cold animosity.

* * *

The rest of the year felt like a breeze, and there wasn't much to it besides studying and trying to improve her skills. She and Severus were working on a new hex—he'd been trying to invent a spell that would make someone dangle upside down by their ankle—and dueled almost every day. He had improved by leaps and bounds, but so had she. Zinnia liked to think they were evenly matched, although Severus still had more wins than losses. Lily usually watched their duels and occasionally joined in, but preferred to discuss theory than practice any damaging spells. Nothing new really, happened, except for the fact that Regulus Black had somehow improved his chess skills over winter break and was now creaming all the first and second years, slowly approaching Zinnia's rank. Arin was still wiping the floor with everyone in chess, but Regulus was a becoming a new challenger he would have to look out for. Thankfully, Zinnia was holding her spot in the mid-high ranges in chess, but she'd be overtaken by Regulus if she wasn't careful—and there was no way in hell she'd let that happen.

It was almost disappointing, the lack of action characterized the rest of her first year, but it was blessing in of itself because it gave time for Zinnia to strengthen her alliances instead of spending all of her effort in learning new ways to defend herself against the Slytherins' bullying. She was careful to stay out of the way, and mostly faded into the background (well as much as she could, anyway).

Building relationships was her main focus at the moment, and though she'd barely made progress in finding Slytherins that wanted to be her friend/ally, she had been able to strengthen all her bonds. Madam Pomfrey now looked upon her fondly, and was a lot looser with her teachings. She was teaching Zinnia everything she knew, and Zinnia's words and actions towards her were becoming a lot more genuine rather than trying to wheedle information out of her with hollow flattery. Somehow, Zinnia managed to get an Acceptable in Transfiguration, and received the same grade in the rest of her subjects—with the exception of Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions, where she got an Outstanding. Her shitty grades in the other subjects didn't bother her because she'd improved her dueling skills so much that it compensated for whatever she'd lost.

The year ended, of course, with a bang, courtesy of the Marauders. They'd charmed the Great Hall to randomly explode with gold and red fireworks every few minutes, which scared a few of the first years half out of their wits. Gryffindor had won the House Cup this year, and their whole table was roaring with cheers.

The Slytherins were not happy. And were swearing vengeance for the next year.

Still, Zinnia thought that the year had ended rather pleasantly, and she was looking forward to a whole summer of doing nothing. Which meant hours upon hours of getting much needed sleep and spending a lot of time with her sisters and Severus.

"Write me, okay?" Emily told her, shoving a paper with her address into Zinnia's hand. "It's got Reyna's in there too—and don't worry, she told me to write it. I'll see you next year!"

Emily scurried onto the train before Zinnia could say anything.

Shrugging, she went to find the compartment with Severus and Lily.

The walkway was crowded with students trying to find an empty compartment, and Zinnia accidentally slammed her shoulder into someone.

"Sorry." She muttered, internally cursing how short she was and looked up to see Regulus.

He glared daggers at her but walked away without calling her a Mudblood.

 _I guess that Outstanding in Potions was worth it._ She thought dryly, before finally finding the compartment with Lily and Severus.

Lily greeted her cheerfully and Severus greeted her with a disgruntled nod—he'd been ranting about the Marauder's end of the year prank. Again.

"Ready for the summer?" She asked him pleasantly, blatantly ignoring his enflamed speech about the Marauders.

His eyes lightened considerably, "Yeah. We've got a lot we can do. Maybe I can convince mum to take us to Diagon Alley once before we have to get new supplies. Avery told me about this shop called Borgin and Burke's."

Zinnia raised an eyebrow at that but didn't say anything. She'd rather not know.

"Sounds great!" Lily grinned widely with excitement, "I can't believe we're going to be third years soon!"

"Woah there," teased Zinnia, "The train hasn't even left Hogwarts yet and you're already talking about next year?"

"You know what I mean, Zin." Lily pouted.

"Sure we do." Severus added sarcastically, and he and Zinnia smirked.

"Hey!" Whined Lily, but she was grinning.

Zinnia didn't know what her second year would hold, but for now, she was content to enjoy her summer.

* * *

 **A/N: A thousand apologies for the late update! It was hard to find some inspiration, and lately, things are hectic, so I may not be able to update as quickly as I did before. However, I really do try to get my chapters out as soon as possible, so I'm still hoping that I can update weekly.**

 **Thank you to all the people who reviewed, followed, and favorited! I saw other authors (sweetasylums and RainLily13) list out all the people who reviewed, and I decided to do that starting with the next chapter because I am really, really grateful to the people who reviewed, whether it be good or bad. Every review makes my day, and it just makes me really happy. I'm seriously grateful for every review, follow, and favorite. Thank you.**

 **The last part of the chapter may seem a bit rushed, but that's because nothing really happens. It's just the usual monotony with school, and there wasn't anything I could write without sounding boring. So it's moving onto her second year. Honestly, nothing really drastic or major will happen until she reaches her fourth or fifth year. But hopefully, the next few chapters until she reaches that point will be interesting.**

 **As usual, thanks for reading! If you see have any concerns, feel free to point it out!**


	10. Interlude: a day in the life

This is a response to Goldspark1's review.

At first, I wasn't sure if I should write out a day in her first year or second year, but since I already finished writing her first year, I decided to make this her second year. So this is kind of a sneak peek but not really, because nothing really spoiler-y happens.

* * *

It was Monday. And Mondays were always terrible.

Zinnia groaned and rolled over, burrowing deeper in her blankets. At the moment, she didn't give a shit if she was going to be late for Potions. All she wanted was sleep. Beautiful, luxurious sleep. She'd stayed up late the night before reading about Centaurs—they lived in the Forbidden Forest and read the stars and planets to glean information about the future. She really needed some direction with her Seer abilities, and Sybill wasn't much help, so she was planning to "accidentally" get lost in the Forest and hopefully have a run-in with the Centaurs.

But right now, she was regretting her late night studying.

 _Why didn't I just sleep earlier? Seriously, fuck this shit. There's no way I'm getting up._

"ZINNIA!" Roared Reyna.

 _Oh, shit. Here we go again._

Reyna roughly ripped her curtains open.

"Get up! Why do I have to wake you up every day? You're so lazy." She started to drag the blankets off of Zinnia who started tugging the blankets in the opposite direction. It was cold.

This was pretty much her usual routine—go to sleep late, regret it the next morning, feel miserable and exhausted, and lay there until Reyna attacked her like a vicious banshee. They'd then proceed to get into a tugging contest with the blanket (which Zinnia usually won) and then Emily would sneak up like the Slytherin she was and yank away Zinnia's pillow.

Which was currently happening.

"You awake yet?" Emily held up her pillow with a triumphant smirk and looked down at her with mischievous humor.

"Why are you two so energetic in the morning? What's _wrong_ with you guys?" Zinnia glared up at them with bleary eyes and started the long and painful process of dragging herself out of bed.

After she'd slept in for three days in a row and gotten a boringly torturous detention with Slughorn, Emily and Reyna had taken it upon themselves to be her official alarm clocks.

"We'll wait for you in the Great Hall, okay. You'd better not be late." Emily warned her sternly, before hurrying to catch up with Reyna who was practically skipping down the stairs at the mention of breakfast.

 _Why, God, why? Why would you do this to me? Why would you create early mornings? Oh wait, I don't even believe in God. What am I even saying? What was I doing?_

Zinnia was a monster in the mornings. Her thoughts lay in disarray, and the only thing she could process was how tired she was and how much she hated everything.

But by the time she got down to the Great Hall and shoved a few pieces of toasts and scrambled eggs down her throat, she was feeling significantly better.

She chugged down a cup of pumpkin juice and wondered why coffee had never found its way into the magical world. How the hell did these people survive without coffee anyway? How the hell did she even survive?

Early Monday mornings were always the best times to contemplate the unfortunate lack of coffee. For some reason, witches and wizards were a lot healthier than Muggles. Zinnia could remember getting sick at least three times in one semester in her old life, but she'd actually never gotten sick ever since she came to Hogwarts. Maybe magic was some kind of reinforcement to natural antibodies? Well, whatever. That stuff was for Lily to find out, not her. Zinnia quickly cut off her disgruntled and strange inner monologue before heading off for Potions class.

Potions class was always first on Mondays. And it was part of the reason why Zinnia wished Mondays never existed.

Slughorn was possibly the most annoying teacher ever. Not only was he a jerk to students who didn't do well, but also was gushed excessively over more talented students—he was always looking for more connections in a blatantly irritating way.

"Ah, Miss Evans! Good morning." He smiled at her and Zinnia wanted to smack his round face into his boiling cauldron.

"Aren't you going to tell Emily and Reyna good morning?" She glowered at him. There was no way she would ever give Slughorn an easy time. It was a wonder he didn't loathe her. Though he probably did—she had absolutely no respect for him, and it reflected in her behavior. But Slughorn was good at hiding his true intentions under mountains of flattery. It was no surprise that he was a Slytherin.

Slughorn's face turned an ugly red, but he turned to Emily and Reyna and greeted them as well. Zinnia ignored him and plopped down into her usual seat and put her head down. She wanted to squeeze in a nap before doing anything, and she didn't have enough energy to deal with Slughorn at the moment—or anyone else, for that matter. Most people knew to avoid her in the mornings, after she'd blasted off all of Carrow's hair and turned him blue when he tried to set her bag on fire a few weeks ago.

It was a few blissful moments of undisturbed rest until Slughorn clapped his hands loudly.

"Today, we'll be covering a Pepperup potion. Now, I've got the ingredients listed on the board. Open your textbooks to page one forty-three. Come on, Miss Evans, haven't got all day."

Zinnia glared daggers at him and purposely pulled her textbook out from her bag as slowly as she could.

"Oi, hurry up." Hissed Regulus. He was being uptight and insulting as usual. Sadly, they'd somehow become permanent partners ever since first year. Everyone had gone with their usual partners, and Slughorn called them the best Potions students in their year, so he made sure to always pair them up.

"Alright, alright." She muttered irritably, and quickly flipped to the correct page.

The two of them quickly read through the instructions and the list of ingredients, completely disregarding Slughorn's lecture. Zinnia knew her impatience and pride were some of her flaws that would lead her into some big problems one day, but she didn't really care to listen to Slughorn, and neither did Regulus. Both of them found his class to be a waste of time and preferred to do things on their own; and hated Slughorn's personality. It was the only thing they agreed on.

So for Potions and Potions only, they had formed some kind of understanding where they worked together in general silence and discussed the potion when needed. It was the beginning of a tentative alliance, but Zinnia could tell that her blood status still made Regulus extremely uncomfortable. Thankfully, he somewhat respected her intelligence and skills, and was decent (or as decent as he could get) to her in Potions.

"I'll get the ingredients." Zinnia told him, and when he didn't make any protest, she walked over to the storage to gather the items before bringing it back to their cauldron.

"The textbook says to crush the newt's eye with a silver knife three times. It doesn't sound very effective though." Regulus mused, staring at the ingredients.

Zinnia flipped through her own textbook and mentally congratulated herself for being smart enough to take Severus' old textbook. He'd written down a lot of helpful ideas.

"Newt's eye contains the main energy for the Pepperup potion. Let's crush it five times but take out one stalk of peppermint to counter it." Zinnia cast a sideways look at Regulus, "Sound good?"

He gave a jerky nod and moved to start the potion. Zinnia looked through the rest of the ingredients and started debating the number of stirs for after they added the peppermint with Regulus. The argument somehow turned into a discussion about the uses of unicorn horn before Zinnia steered the conversation back to the main focus.

"Fine. We'll do three stirs." He glared at her, daring her to contradict him.

"Fine. Three." She began to stir the potion until it turned a light brown. "Six minutes until the color starts to change, right?"

"Yeah."

She sat back down and the two of them stared at the cauldron in awkward silence.

Everyone else was still on the third step, and Regulus and Zinnia had sped through the potion with ease.

"You got better at potions." Zinnia stated, resolutely staring ahead. The silence usually wasn't unbearable, and they usually worked in a sort of quiet understanding. Today, though, he looked especially grumpy and his face was dark with a simmering anger that she recognized in herself. It was the look she got whenever things became too much to handle.

"Of course I did." He answered like it was a fact, somehow managing to sound like he wasn't bragging. "I had to do extra studies over the summer."

"Who taught you?" The Blacks were actually more of a reclusive family and stayed within a small social circle.

"My dad." Regulus' answer was short and he glared down at his impeccable shoes.

Whoops. She'd accidentally hit a sore subject while trying to make small talk. Zinnia had never experienced the life of a privileged elite, nor did she want to. But she had trouble understanding Regulus because of his upbringing, and he was the only one she didn't know how to deal with. He rarely expressed genuine emotions, and Zinnia wasn't even sure if he loved his brother or not. The Blacks were an enigmatic family, and they were tedious to deal with. Which was why Zinnia usually steered clear of them whenever she could.

"Uh. Did something happen?" Zinnia tripped over her words, unsure of how to broach the subject.

Regulus looked at her with surprise, but it only lasted for a fleeting second.

"None of your business, Mudblood."

Well, there was her cue to shut up.

His rudeness actually didn't bother her—she was a private person as well, so she could understand his wariness when people tried to break that personal sphere.

The rest of class went by with the same tense silence, and when Slughorn came over to congratulate them for their "excellent potion" and brilliance as usual, Regulus didn't even bother with his usual politeness.

"What a beautiful color your potion has turned! It looks perfect. I'm sure Madam Pomfrey will be pleased to have this in her supply."

Regulus stayed silent, so Zinnia had to take the initiative.

"Thank you, Professor." She answered shortly. "I'll take it to Madam Pomfrey; there's no need to spend your time doing it. I'll hand in a bit for class and take the rest to the Hospital Wing. May I be excused?"

Slughorn's jaw nearly fell open at her unusual politeness but he quickly recovered.

"Of course, of course! You're very considerate, Miss Evans. Go on, I'll excuse you." He was beaming with delight.

"Thank you." Zinnia quickly poured everything into a bottle and gathered up her things to leave. The Gryffindors on the other side of the room were muttering insults about her and glaring at her potion. Besides Lily, none of the other Gryffindors were especially talented in Potions, and they all hated the favoritism Slughorn was showing Regulus and her.

She didn't really care what they thought, though, so she got up to leave.

"May I be excused as well, Professor?" Regulus spoke up and tried to plaster a genial smile on his face.

"Of course, my boy, of course! You and Miss Evans are finished, so there's no problem."

With just one glance at Regulus, Zinnia could tell that he was feeling disgusted by all the obvious favoritism (especially because he was a Black). His eyes reflected his loathing, and they were a stormy dark grey—unlike the usual trademark silver of the Blacks.

He swept out of the room with Zinnia at his heels, and set directly for the Slytherin dungeons while Zinnia headed in the opposite direction for the Hospital Wing. She briefly considered following him, but what he was doing wasn't any of her business, so she walked away. Besides, she didn't think he would appreciate her help.

The Hospital Wing was serene and idyllic, like usual, and Zinnia could feel a genuine smile forming on her face as she entered.

"Good morning, Madam Pomfrey. How's everything going?"

"Miss Evans!" Madam Pomfrey turned around with surprise and delight, "I haven't seen you for a while. Isn't it class time? What are you doing here?" Her face quickly turned concerned, "Are you hurt?"

Zinnia's eyes softened fondly. "I'm alright. I'm just here to pass on the Pepperup potion I made in Potions. Professor Slughorn asked me to take it to you."

Madam Pomfrey took the bottle and examined its contents. "This is perfect! A lot of students have been catching a cold, so I've been needing more of this."

"It's all thanks to you that I was able to make it so well. You've really taught me a lot." Zinnia was only being partially truthful, but it obviously made Madam Pomfrey happy.

"You always flatter me too much." Madam Pomfrey beamed and placed the potion in her storage. "If you've got some time, why don't I show you a new potion that's in trial? They say it's supposed to help grow new internal organs."

"That'd be great." Zinnia followed Madam Pomfrey around for the rest of the class period and looked over the potion. It would definitely save a lot of lives in the Muggle world. She'd have to let Lily know later.

As soon as the first class ended, Madam Pomfrey ushered Zinnia out of the Hospital Wing, warning her not to be late for her next class.

The halls were crowded with students trying to get to their next class, and it took a lot of effort to finally spot Emily and Reyna. She quickly caught up to them as they walked to Herbology.

"How'd you make the potion so good?" Reyna whined, "I can never get it right. It's not fair, I followed all the directions!"

Zinnia snorted, "That's the point. You're not supposed to follow the textbook—it's all bullshit."

"Are you serious." Deadpanned Emily, "Was I doing everything wrong this whole time?"

"Probably." Zinnia smirked, and Emily rolled her eyes and playfully smacked Zinnia's shoulder.

"Thanks for telling us earlier." She said sarcastically.

"Anytime."

Reyna shook her head, "Slughorn's obviously such a suck-up to you two. Especially Black. The Greengrasses are just as Ancient and Noble as the Blacks but does he kiss up to me? No! I hate that class." She ranted, storming towards Herbology with a dark expression.

Emily just laughed and increased her steps to catch up with Reyna and calm her down.

By the time they reached the Potions classroom, Reyna had calmed down considerably and was now focusing her attention to the Mandrake Roots in front of her.

"Not again." She moaned, looking absolutely miserable, "I hated this part the most! We just did this a week ago!"

Emily pattered her shoulder comfortingly, "Poor you."

The Mandrake Roots were absolute menaces with their high-pitched shrieks that could rival Reyna's on a bad day. Zinnia hated them too, but kept her opinions to herself and rolled up her sleeves to just get it over with.

The class, thankfully, passed without much incident, besides a pale Ravenclaw passing out. Sybill had sidled up to Zinnia during the distraction and had tried to strike up a conversation.

"How did you do on the last Astronomy test? I got an Outstanding." She bragged proudly, "Reading the planets and stars isn't that difficult with the Inner Eye."

"Great." Said Zinnia dryly, "And I didn't do nearly as well as you. Good job." She spoke blandly and turned back to her work.

Sybill continued to pester her and Zinnia just grit her teeth and slapped a false smile on her face and kept nodding in time to Sybill's comments. She still had no idea how Sybill hadn't noticed that Zinnia didn't want to talk.

Thankfully, class was over before Sybill could launch into another prophecy predicting the illness of a random Ravenclaw named Andrew Higgins. Zinnia didn't really care to find out who Higgins was, and she gave Sybill a firm goodbye before hurrying up to catch up with Emily and Reyna. Reyna gave her a smirk and snigger when she saw Zinnia's annoyed expression.

Zinnia heaved a sigh of relief when she entered her History of Magic class. It was the perfect time to sleep. She immediately sat down and went to sleep without wasting any time talking. She could hear Reyna laughing at her and Emily shushing her so Zinnia could sleep.

It was a sweet, dreamless nap, and Zinnia woke up feeling a lot more refreshed and awake. She wasn't even irritated at Sybill anymore—which was a good thing, because she'd have to suffer through Charms with her later.

Professor Binns hadn't even noticed any of the people who fell asleep—which was ninety percent of the whole class—and even continued lecturing when class ended. Zinnia was out of there like a missile.

She was a lighter as she walked towards Defense Against the Dark Arts and prepared herself for a class that would finally interest her. They'd be covering different dark creatures today, and Zinnia was using this as a chance to estimate which creatures would take Voldemort's side. She vaguely remembered the Giants being recruited in the books, and the goblins staying neutral. But that was pretty much all she could recall.

Near the end of class, it was surprisingly Evan Rosier who brought up the idea of starting a Dueling Club. Evan was mostly quiet and didn't say much, so she was surprised by his initiative. The idea of a Dueling Club was definitely intriguing, and if the Professor started one, she'd be able to test out her skills on people besides Severus. And she was willing to bet ten Galleons that the Slytherins would be treating the club as a competition similar to the workings of the chess matches.

There was a long silence as Professor McGregor considered the proposition. She could see the wheels turning in his head—it was a difficult decision to make. There was a war going on, and if he started one, he would be training both future Death Eaters and Aurors. But after a lengthy consideration, he agreed.

There was a soft muttering going on between Regulus and few other Slytherin boys, and Zinnia narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Something was going on, and she needed to find out if something bad was going to happen. Maybe she could pull it out of Evan, who had started treating her as an equal under his brother's influence. She shoved the thought to the back of her head and focused on the current situation.

If Professor McGregor started a dueling club for the second years, he'd have to start it for all of the other students. He went on to discuss how he would be appointing a president for each year, and all of the Slytherins started glancing at each other and smirking. Becoming president meant power and authority, and everyone wanted more of that in Slytherin. Zinnia wasn't exactly Professor McGregor's favorite student, but if she wanted to become president and gain more respect from the Slytherins, she would have to start making an effort.

Class ended on that exciting note, and the whole class buzzed with energy as they walked out of the room, discussing different possibilities for the club and presidents.

The next class was Charms, and Zinnia was not anticipating that class like Emily was. Emily loved Charms, and was Professor Flitwick's favorite Slytherin, just as Lily was his favorite third-year Gryffindor. Zinnia wasn't an ace at Charms, but she did well enough, and that was all she needed.

Unfortunately, they weren't covering any practical spells today and only the theories, so Zinnia carefully placed her head on her arm and angled it so it looked like she was looking down at her paper when she was actually sleeping. She cast a quick shield spell over her spell to prevent attack from elitist Slytherins while she was sleeping and gripped her quill in her other hand so it looked like she was writing. After sleeping in class for the entirety of her first year, she had perfected the art of sleeping without getting caught.

A daze passed over her and she quickly fell asleep to the sound of scratching quills on parchment. When class was over, she snapped her head up and shoved her things into her bag. It was time for lunch, and she starving. Mashed potatoes in Hogwarts were simply too amazing to pass up, and Zinnia was ready to stuff herself silly.

Lunch was a noisy affair, with the Marauders creating some trouble as usual, and the Slytherins trying to get retribution. James had turned Severus' hair bright pink (Zinnia had to choke down a laugh when she saw him) and in turn, Severus had turned his bag into a slug.

Because Zinnia ate like a ravenous vulture, she was usually done with half an hour to spare at lunch time. She made the most use of her extra time by going to the library to either sleep in a plush armchair or to study more Ancient Runes.

Today, she was especially sleepy, so she chose a soft, green armchair and curled up in it. It was in a small corner of the library that most people didn't bother going near, so it was the perfect place to sleep.

There was a small noise in the armchair next to her and Zinnia turned to see Regulus sitting with his legs crossed, looking like he owned the place.

Usually, Zinnia only saw Regulus during Potions and briefly during other classes, but for some reason, he was showing up a lot today.

He looked up and their gazes met. His eyes widened with surprise upon recognizing her, but he scowl or anything.

Instead, he kept his face blank.

"Your hair looks terrible." He told her bluntly, devoid of emotion.

"Thanks. Courtesy of not having a comb." Zinnia answered sarcastically.

He snorted, "You don't have a comb?" She could tell he wanted to say something insulting, but he kept quiet.

"What, no Mudblood comments today?"

His eyes snapped to her face. "Shut up. I'm not in the mood for this. I won't bother you, so just go to sleep or whatever you were going to do."

Something had definitely happened. Regulus usually was goaded on by her childish badgering, but he'd actually taken the mature route for once. Unlike her. Zinnia was an adult, yet she found herself acting increasingly more childish. Perhaps it was because she was spending so much time with twelve year olds who hadn't matured into young adults, but she didn't act like the a little over thirty woman she was supposed to be. Well, she _was_ in a magic school after all. One couldn't survive here without having a bit of fun.

She shrugged and he went back to staring into space. Zinnia was too tired to prod further and just went to sleep.

And when she woke up, she felt ready for Transfiguration. The class she was terrible at. Professor McGonagall would whoop her arse if she was late, so Zinnia was about to scurry off to class when she noticed Regulus was still in the armchair.

He'd fallen asleep without her noticing—well she'd been sleeping so it would've been hard to notice anyway—and Zinnia hovered a bit near his armchair, internally debating whether or not to wake him up.

 _Who knows how he'll react if I try to wake him up. But he's been pretty decent today, and he probably has a tough time at home… I guess I'll take my chances._

She reached over and shook his shoulder. "Wake up. We've got Transfiguration."

He jerked awake and flinched away from her. His eyes were still blurry with sleep and he raised his wand at her before slowly blinking to clear his vision.

"Oh. It's only you."

"Of course it's me. Who else would it be?" Zinnia was startled by his violent reaction but walked away before he could say anything. She wasn't going to risk being late.

Transfiguration passed smoothly without any problems, besides Zinnia's usual struggling with the spells. McGonagall spent the most time with Zinnia and tried to explain the spell to her, and thankfully, by the end of class, Zinnia was able to manage a passable result. McGonagall just arched an eyebrow and went to check on everyone else's progress.

Her deficiency in Transfiguration was embarrassing, but even though she had a better grasp on the theories, she just couldn't improve her skills.

Well, it was okay. She wasn't perfect, so she didn't expect to ace every subject.

"Come on!" Called Reyna, when class ended, "We've got Flying next! I heard that we're going to have a practice Quidditch match today. The Slytherin team's holding tryouts in three weeks, so if we don't practice enough, we're not going to make the team."

"Coming, coming." Zinnia answered, trying to catch up with the always energized girl. Emily lagged behind them, not as interested in flying as they were.

Quidditch was something Zinnia definitely wanted to try out for, and she was absolutely in love with the freedom of flying. Too bad it was difficult for girls to make the team—the Slytherins in this decade were sexist little shits. Actually, most of the Quidditch players were sexist and thought that the girls should stay on the sidelines to cheer. At the moment, there was only one girl on the Slytherin team, none on the Gryffindor team, two on the Ravenclaw team, and four on the Hufflepuff team. Zinnia sometimes wondered what it would've been like if she'd been Sorted into Hufflepuff. Probably a whole lot easier to live in than Slytherin.

But still, flying was something she'd longed her entire past life to experience, and Quidditch finally gave her that chance. She'd get on the team no matter what. At least her physical training at night was paying off.

"Alright!" Professor Valence called, "I want the Gryffindors on one team and the Slytherins on the other. We'll be playing two games, so everyone will get a chance to play. I'll be assigning the positions by random."

So far, they'd had five practice games, and Zinnia had gone through the roles of Chaser, Keeper, and Seeker. She'd been the best at Chaser, and had failed at being a Seeker. This time, she was assigned to the role of Beater along with Reyna.

The whistle sounded and they all mounted their brooms and launched into the air. Emily was hovering near the goal as Keeper and was looking a bit peaky as she watched the Bludger zoom around.

Everything was moving at a fast pace, and the air was filled with the sound of shouts and the sound of the Quaffle moving from hand to hand.

Zinnia hefted her Beater's bat—which was annoyingly heavy but manageable—and whacked a Bludger towards the Gryffindor Chaser as he reached for the Quaffle. It slammed into him with a satisfying smack, and Zinnia smirked viciously as adrenalin pumped through her veins.

Being a Beater was absolutely amazing. It wasn't difficult to analyze the positions and places of the other team's players, and she was able to break down their attack by coordinating with Reyna and knocking the Chasers away from the Quaffle every time they tried to score. She'd need to polish up on her strategy, but for now, she was having fun being an absolute menace while helping her team win. It was a great stress reliever, and by the end of the game, she'd made sure that none of the Chasers had been able to score in the Gryffindor goal.

It wasn't actually that hard—most of the girls had shied away from the Quaffle and the Bludger, so she'd had less opponents to face. Still, it was an exhilarating feeling, and when she landed on the ground, Professor Valence's face was filled with excitement.

"That was brilliant! Where'd you learn to be a Beater?"

"Uh…" Zinnia wasn't sure what to say because she hadn't learned it from anywhere. "Myself?"

Professor Valence clapped her on the back. "You should try out for the Slytherin team as a Beater. You'll make it for sure."

Emily sidled up to her. "Wow, here's our Quidditch star. That was amazing!"

Reyna looked a bit peeved because she hadn't done much as the other Beater but congratulated Zinnia nonetheless.

Zinnia felt a boatload of awkwardness with all the compliments and shrugged it off. "Let's watch the next game. It looks like Black's playing Seeker, and Evan is playing Keeper."

"Are you friends with Black or something?" Asked Reyna curiously, "You two talk a lot."

Zinnia choked on air. "What. We are absolutely not friends. We only tolerate each other."

"Really?" Reyna narrowed her eyes, "Then why'd you mention him for the next game? You didn't mention anyone else besides Evan."

"That's because Black's one of the few Slytherins I take note of. Because he insults me all the time. And it's hard not to notice him when he's my permanent Potions partner."

"Heh." Reyna smirked, "Whatever you say."

Zinnia nearly gagged. That was gross. She was an adult, and Regulus was a twelve year old for fuck's sake. She was _not_ going down that road. Romance wasn't something that was particularly on her mind, and she wanted to keep it that way.

Finally, after Flying class was over, she was thanking the starry heavens that Astronomy was only on Wednesdays. The class was held at midnight, and it was the most irritating thing ever because she would have to take a nap before going, and force herself to stay awake for a full hour doing nothing but staring at the sky.

She headed off to the library to bullshit most of her homework and finished all of her papers in an hour. Shoving the papers carelessly into her bag, she grabbed a few Ancient Runes textbooks and walked towards the armchair she always sat at. It was a few calm hours of doing nothing but studying, and it was worth it, because she could feel the subject slowly coming together. Ancient Runes was complex and unpredictable, but there was always a subtle pattern in everything. She just had to find it.

By the time she was finished reading the first textbook, it was time for dinner. She piled up all the books onto the chair to save her spot and headed off for dinner.

There wasn't anything special about dinner. It was just eating and talking calmly with Emily and Reyna, or listening to other people's conversations. Zinnia grabbed a few slices of cake for later and waved good night to Emily and Reyna before heading for the Room of Requirement.

She was going through a book of hexes that had magically appeared when Lily and Severus walked in.

Zinnia jumped up eagerly when she saw them.

"Ready to duel?"

Lily grinned teasingly, "You're not going to greet us and ask how our day was?"

"Yes, yes. How are you? How was your day? Can we duel now?" She asked impatiently. She was itching to try out a new hex she'd recently learned, and she knew that Severus had finished perfecting _Levicorpus_ and was going to use it on her—and she wanted to practice countering it.

"I'm ready, are you?" Drawled Severus with a spark of challenge.

Zinnia smirked in reply, "Always."

Lily just rolled her eyes fondly and sat down at a conveniently placed armchair on the side of the Room. Before cracking open a textbook, she quickly placed some defensive wards so any spells from the duel wouldn't accidentally hit her.

There was a blast of power as the duel started, and Zinnia quickly dived to the side immediately after casting her spell. She rolled to her feet and cast _Immobulus_ to slow down Severus, who deflected it and cast a spell of his own. She narrowly dodged it before firing off two spells in succession. Once Severus was successfully distracted with a cloud of feathers around his face, she blasted him with a light hex that sent him flying into the wall which had morphed into a soft cushion. Zinnia quickly _Accio_ ed his wand and gripped it in her hand victoriously.

"Getting slow in your old age, aren't you Severus? I can't believe you fell for that. I guess it's my win." She taunted lightly, holding out a hand for him to take.

He scowled and grabbed her hand, pulling himself up before taking back his wand. "I can't believe I fell for that either. That was terrible." He grumbled.

Zinnia smirked triumphantly; she'd gotten a lot faster with all the practice and casting spells was like second nature now.

They trudged towards where Lily was calmly watching them and Severus complained about the duel.

"Don't be a sore loser." Zinnia patted his shoulder, "Maybe you'll catch up one day."

Severus flushed angrily, "You're the one who needs to catch up."

"Well if it makes you happy, feel free to believe it." Zinnia mocked.

The two of them could be brutal with their teasing, but they both knew they didn't really mean it.

"Congrats on your win, Zin! You've got a winning streak. I think you've beaten Sev ten times in the past week." Lily gave Zinnia a thumbs up.

Once Severus and Zinnia recovered from the duel, the three of them went on to discuss Arithmancy and trade off theories and ideas that Lily incorporated into her essay.

They were only children (with the exception of Zinnia), though, so their conversation soon descended into the upcoming Hogsmeade trip which sufficiently steered the conversation away from academics for the rest of the night.

Finally, Zinnia bid Severus and Lily good night and headed towards the Forbidden Forest. She usually ran a few laps around its edges before going to sleep, and she just wanted to get exercising over with so she could go back to the library and finish up the rune she'd been working on.

Running was something she hated with a burning passion, but she had to exercise to make sure she maintain the sharp edge she had in dueling and awareness of her surroundings. It was also bonus that it helped with Quidditch, so Zinnia tolerated it and forced herself to run every night when she had enough time.

By the time she was done, it was nearing eleven, and she headed towards the library for a bit more of late-night studying. The library was still filled with bunches of older students and after finishing what she needed to read, she headed to the Common Room where she started to work on the silence rune she was crafting.

"Staying up late again?" Arin sat down next to her and looked over at what she was doing.

"Of course. Are you taking Ancient Runes?" Zinnia yawned and stretched a bit while waiting for an answer.

"Yeah. That's a pretty good silence rune. Looks a ton more complicated than the one we did in class though. You've got the first three runes right, but you've botched up a line right here…" Arin leaned over and pointed out the mistake before explaining the rest of the rune.

Zinnia fixed the rune and added adjustments while he talked, nodding along with his comments.

"For someone who gets bad grades, you're surprisingly smart in other areas." Arin smirked lightly, looking at her fixed rune.

"I'm not stupid." Zinnia glared at him, "I don't care to spend time on those subjects when I could be doing something else."

Arin raised his eyebrows and let out a small laugh, "If you say so. Anyway, I've got an Ancient Runes project coming up, and you're pretty decent at it. So what do you say? Want to collaborate? I'll help you with that power rune you're working on."

Considering the benefits, Zinnia stared into the fireplace pensively. She didn't need too much help with runes, but Arin wasn't exactly desperate either, so they'd be of equal mutual benefit to each other. "Fine. Deal."

Arin grinned. "I'll meet you sometime during the week then. Night." He waved loosely and headed towards the boys dormitory.

Zinnia rolled her eyes at his spontaneity and made a few more adjustments to her silence rune before heading up to her own dorm.

After taking a shower, she used her wand to draw the rune onto the wooden frame of her bed.

"The bed better not explode." She muttered to herself. Hopefully, the rune had turned out accurate and wouldn't be a disaster.

When the rune stayed visible and solid, she let out a huge breath of relief and flopped onto her bed. She didn't _Muffliato_ her curtains and prayed that the rune would be strong enough to silence her screams if she had another nightmare.

Although students weren't usually supposed to use runes on their own, Zinnia wasn't technically in the class, so she'd take her chances with the runes and practice them when she could.

The day had been a mundane one, but it had been tiring. All of her day's experiences were taking its toll on her, and she soon fell into a deep slumber.

And then her day would start all over again on Tuesday, and she'd feel like shit the next day, because she never felt bright in the mornings.

But all in all, it'd just been an average day.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much to UniCryin, Viva01, DarkDust27, mar888, 534667lc, Goldspark1, Guest, and KyuubiNoPuma for reviewing!**

 **This isn't really a real chapter, but I hope it was enjoyable nonetheless! After reading Goldspark1's review, I realized that I hadn't actually written an average day (because I thought it would be kinda boring?) so since I'm sick and don't really feel like doing anything, I decided to write this.**

 **Too bad Care of Magical Creatures is a class that starts in third year—it would have been fun incorporating it into this chapter.**

 **This turned out a lot longer than I expected, and I ended up putting in a lot of things that I want to cover in the future. So I take it back; this is actually pretty spoiler-y. Whoops.**

 **Responses to guest reviews:**

 **Goldspark1: I'm glad you thought it was well worth the wait! It wasn't as long as I would've liked it to be, but I tried. Yeah, your point about Snape is really good, so I decided to make Zinnia win in this "chapter". So thanks! I hope this "chapter" had everything you wanted to see.**

 **Guest: I'm not entirely sure about making Dumbledore a major character yet because at the moment, Zinnia doesn't like him. She doesn't trust him, so she usually stays away from him. But I'll definitely take that into consideration!**


	11. I see it all so clear

It wasn't like this summer was different from any other summers. Even though Zinnia, Lily, and Severus had all been through a year of Hogwarts, there wasn't anything special about this summer. Not in Zinnia's opinion, anyway.

Everything seemed to lose some of its spark, now that she'd seen the unlimited wonders of magic. Hogwarts was so _magical_ that the Muggle world seemed to pale in comparison. It was a bit jarring, to be suddenly shoved back into normal society, almost cut off entirely from magic, when she'd just been through a whole year of magic as the norm.

But this summer still wasn't anything special.

Once Zinnia had gotten home, life seemed to fall back into an almost frighteningly average routine. No more prejudiced elitist Slytherins, no more boring classes that seemed to run for hours on end, and no more magic.

The restrictions on underage magic _sucked_.

Muggles were so obviously disregarded by witches and wizards that it was almost funny. When students raised in the magical world went home, they were still surrounded by magic, so there was really no need for them to miss it. But Muggleborn students had to accommodate both environments.

And quite frankly, the Ministry had barely any laws to aid the assimilation of Muggleborns into magical society.

Stupid arseholes.

What worried Zinnia the most was Lily. Lily was struggling even more than Severus and Zinnia when it came to adapting back to the Muggle world.

Severus was lucky because Eileen was a witch—she was more than capable of doing magic, so their cottage at Spinner's End had been reinvented into a magical house. Now that the two of them lived alone, there was no need to hide magic, and they lived comfortably.

Zinnia was an adult in a child's body—adapting to strange circumstances wasn't difficult for her, especially since she'd had to adapt to the world of freaking _Harry Potter_.

But Lily was just a child thrown back into a world lacking the wonders and ease of magic, with parents that couldn't understand a world they'd never lived in. Without Zinnia and Severus, she would've been isolated from the magical world for a whole summer.

It wasn't as if the Muggle world was nothing compared to the magical world—it was just that it was easier to miss something you'd had than enjoy something you'd grown up with.

So Zinnia was trying her best to distract Lily from the magical world, which meant no visits to Spinner's End. Going to Severus' home would have just created disappointment and longing, and that was the last thing Zinnia wanted. Thankfully, Eileen had become closer with the Evans while Zinnia had been at Hogwarts, so the Princes came over once or twice a week.

"So… Wanna play a board game?" Offered Zinnia, as she, Lily, and Severus lounged on the living room floor.

"We've already played three! There's nothing to do." Complained Lily. She was sprawled out on the ground and rolled onto her side, sighing.

"I thought you liked Trouble and Twister." Zinnia frowned, trying to rack her head to come up with another game.

"Not when we play them three times a week!"

Now that they couldn't practice magic, they had a lot of time to spare. And Lily and Severus really didn't want to spend their whole summer studying runes and spells.

"We could come to my house." Severus pitched in, trying to mollify Lily.

Zinnia tried not to smack his head.

"Hey, didn't mum ask us to buy the groceries for this week?" She tried to steer the conversation away from Severus' house. And it was a blatant attempt that failed.

" _Really_ , Zin?" Asked Lily, giving her a flat stare. "This is the fifth time this week you've changed the subject when I mention going to Sev's house! First it was baking, then it was a telly show, and now it's groceries? C'mon, gimme a break. What's going on?"

Great. Had she really been that transparent? Zinnia sighed wearily and wracked her brains for a better excuse.

Severus elbowed her sharply in the ribs.

"What?" She hissed under her breath, matching his glare with one of her own.

"Stop lying." He muttered from the corner of his mouth. Lily was giving them an irritated look but she couldn't hear what they were saying.

"I _told_ you not to mention going to your house." Zinnia fired back, her eyes flashing with annoyance.

Lily moved from her spot on the floor and shifted closer to Zinnia and Severus. Setting her face in a determined stare, she looked Zinnia directly in the eye; moving her face so close to her younger sister's that their faces were only a few inches apart.

"Okay." She said loudly, "Stop whispering and arguing like an old married couple and tell me what's going on."

Severus' face twisted with disgust at her implication of being a married couple with Zinnia.

Zinnia chose to ignore that part and instead shot Severus a look that held a mixture of anger and exasperation.

"Remember that time we went to Severus' house?"

Lily nodded and settled into a more comfortable position.

"His mum is magic. And, well, our parents aren't. So when we visited, it was—" Zinnia stopped halfway, trying to come up with a word. "Weird?"

Biting her lip with contemplation, Lily tried to come up with the least offensive statement for Severus. "It wasn't a weird kind of bad, though."

Heaving a sigh, Zinnia rolled her eyes. "No, it _was_ a bad feeling. Severus isn't a delicate flower—you don't have to worry about hurting his feelings."

"I don't know about you though. You're the closest to being a delicate flower out of all of us." Severus drawled, expressing a bit of his ire at Zinnia's blunt admission.

"Oh, shut up." Zinnia resisted the urge to flip him off—they _were_ only twelve, after all. "As I was saying—before I was so rudely interrupted—I think you just need some time away from magic, Lils, that's all. You're not… adjusting that well."

Out of everyone she knew, Lily was the only one Zinnia tried to soften her words around. It wasn't that Lily couldn't take it—Lily was strong enough to take anything—it was just Zinnia's protective side coming into play.

Severus knew this too, but he didn't agree with Zinnia's methods of trying to protect Lily from practically everything in the world. He bet that if a mosquito tried to bite her, Zinnia would be there to squish it viciously before it could even get near Lily. Usually, he was all for keeping Lily away from the darker parts of the magical world, but this was taking it too far.

"If you keep trying to protect her, how is Lily ever supposed to adjust?" He snapped. When Zinnia had tried to explain her reasoning during their first and only visit to his house, he'd went along with it, thinking she'd get over it. There had been merit to her argument, after all, but they hadn't been to his house ever since the first visit.

Zinnia scowled heavily. "I know that. It's just that it's hard to live like Muggles when everything in your house is magic, okay? Just when Lily was getting used to having to live without magic, we went over to your house, and it's a glaring reminder of what we don't have."

Rubbing his temples, Severus frowned and tried to come up with something that would convince Zinnia to lay off a bit.

 _I'm too young for this shit_ , he thought tiredly. Zinnia could be as stubborn as he was, and that wasn't a good thing.

"You know, tiger lilies mean pride? Mum told me. I'm not pathetic enough to be held down by something like that, Zin."

The fight seemed to go out of Zinnia and her shoulders slumped forward. She laughed quietly.

"And mum told me that scarlet zinnias mean constancy." She held Lily's gaze with a kind of fierceness that Lily had never seen in anyone but Zinnia. The desire to protect, the drive to fight; an everlasting blaze.

It sent shivers down Lily's spine, and she had to remind herself that the woman—no, girl—sitting in front of her was her younger sister, not a solider going off to war.

And then the fire was gone.

"Alright, you win." Grumbled Zinnia, and she flopped onto her back with a quiet resignation.

"Of course," laughed Lily, "I always win."

"Don't I get a flower too?" Severus asked wryly, but there was a hint of jealousy under the layer of sarcasm.

Lily sensed this, and she tackled him with an overly affectionate hug, laughing wildly. "Of course you do! You can be a sunflower."

"It's perfect. Sunflowers symbolize haughtiness, you know." Quipped Zinnia, smirking at Severus' horrified face.

"I was _joking_." He said exasperatedly, "And you could've at least chosen something less… yellow, Lily."

"What's so bad about yellow, Sev? I think it'd look great on you, don't you think?"

As she lay on the floor, the corners of Zinnia's lips quirked up as she contently watched Lily tease Severus mercilessly. Severus was trying to make a grumpy face, but she could see a brilliant smile forming on his mouth. Lily had that effect on people.

* * *

From that point on, the days passed by more smoothly, and Lily dragged Zinnia to Severus' house at least once a week. Of course, there was still that ache of longing both sisters felt when they stepped into Severus' house, but Zinnia could tell that Lily was getting used to it.

It wasn't easy living as a Muggle, but it was manageable. Even when she kept reaching for her wand when she couldn't cast any spells, and when she kept expecting the food at the dinner table to appear on her plate.

But being a Muggle wasn't all dark storm clouds and rainy days either.

Zinnia didn't have any sources of income besides a small allowance, and she needed a job. There was no way she'd have enough money for her trip to Diagon Alley at the end of summer; the books she wanted weren't exactly cheap.

But it wasn't only the things Diagon Alley had to offer—she wanted to make her own money. Money that came from her own hard work and sweat. She was more than capable of generating her own income, and it was uncomfortable for her to take her parents' money when she was so old.

So she set out to get a job. It'd be those small ones, the ones you do around the neighborhood, like walking your neighbor's dog or trimming their bushes. And she had the advantage of looking eleven (almost twelve)—no one would get too angry if she did a crappy job.

"Do you think I could get a job?" She asked her mum bluntly.

"A job?" Julie Evans echoed, surprised by her daughter's random question.

"Yeah. It'd be a summer job though. Maybe I could help out the neighbors? I'd do stuff like mowing the lawn, walking dogs, or watering the plants. Anything is fine, really."

"What do you want a job for?"

"I want to generate my own income. I'm really thankful for the allowance, mum, but I've got books I want to buy at Diagon Alley—and they're really expensive."

"Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt." Mused Julie, considering Zinnia's maturity.

"Really?" Zinnia brightened, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

Her mum laughed, "I'll go talk to our neighbors but you'll have to come with me. Maybe we could start with some flyers to post around the neighborhood."

"Thanks, mum." Zinnia flashed a barely contained smile and dashed up to her room, pulling out some markers and paper for posters.

By dinnertime, she'd made twelve flyers, and that was more than enough for her small neighborhood. A lot of the residents had children, so she was sure they'd want the help.

As the Evans settled down for dinner, Max and Julie exchanged glances.

Max cleared his throat. "So, Zin, I hear you're looking for a summer job. How's that going?"

"I've only just started, dad." Zinnia replied dryly.

"You think you can handle it?"

"Of course." There was a steely confidence in Zinnia's voice that stemmed from years of experience. Even if she was still really short and nowhere near fully grown, she'd been through a plethora of jobs in her past life—and that was more than enough.

"Well," Her dad grinned, "I'll be your first costumer."

The corner of Zinnia's mouth quirked up. "Alright."

"My car's looking pretty dirty, and it's in need of a wash."

Max's car was actually fine; there were a few smudges here and there but it wasn't anything too big. But he'd just gotten the new Ford Cortina (just like a dozen other men in his company) and compared to his co-workers, his car had lost its shine.

Zinnia coughed to hide a laugh, guessing what would happen next. Julie disapproved of the new sleek, tan car—they'd had a perfectly fine Ford Mustang, but Max had gone out and bought the increasingly popular Ford Cortina. And Julie was still mad about his decision.

"That's the third car wash this month, isn't it Max?" Julie commented offhandedly as she cut her steak.

Max winced. "Julie, dear, I've only just bought it. I'd prefer it to stay nice-looking."

"And waste even more money?"

Everyone could sense Julie's pent up anger reaching its boiling point.

"Uh, well—" Max stuttered, his face adopting an expression of fear and apprehension. He dug desperately for words, trying to divert the impending explosion.

Petunia rolled her eyes and tuned out the situation, going back to her dinner.

Lily and Zinnia readied themselves, knowing their dad's clumsy fumbling wouldn't calm their mum's temper.

"Well what?" Julie asked dangerously. "Well the inflation rate is rising? Well the grocery store's prices are getting higher and higher? Well the petrol price is too high to afford another car? Well what!"

Julie's last word ended on an exclamation of anger, and Max cowered under her fierce glare.

Though Max was a highly competent worker at his company, and was always cool and collected, under his wife's sparking temper, he was a complete idiot.

Lily and Zinnia suffered through the rest of their dinner listening to their mum rant about their dad buying a stupid car while the prices were getting too high to afford one.

When dessert was served and their mum's temper finally cooled down, things were back to their usual cheerful, amiable state.

"Still up for washing the car, Zin?" Their dad asked weakly.

Julie's eye twitched and Zinnia tried not to slam her head onto the dinner table.

Later that night, Zinnia and Lily lounged in their shared room, lying on their respective beds. Zinnia was reading a textbook about runes, while Lily read Jane Eyre.

"You're really getting a job, Zin?" Lily broke the comfortable silence.

"Yeah." Zinnia answered absentmindedly, flipping a page.

"But why?" The two of them were only twelve and thirteen, respectively, and Lily couldn't understand why Zinnia was already getting a job.

Closing her textbook, Zinnia rolled onto her side. "Because, books are expensive. And it won't be that hard anyway—it'll keep me busy."

This was a partial lie, but Zinnia couldn't exactly explain that she was actually an adult, and that receiving money from other adults was just a huge blow to her pride.

"I guess. But you won't get to spend as much time with me and Sev if you're busy working."

Zinnia had no answer to that. She stayed quiet, trying to come up with something that could justify her choosing to work than spend time with family.

"Oh, relax." Lily grinned, "It's fine! Just don't forget to take a break from all that work. Sev and I'll be around somewhere, so you can come find us when you have time."

Startled but warmed by Lily's acceptance, Zinnia just wordlessly turned back to her book, feeling a lot lighter than before.

* * *

Zinnia would have liked to say that the rest of the summer passed without incident, but as usual, nothing worked out perfectly.

Her jobs were going fine—all of the mundane tasks were a piece of cake compared to trying to come up with a plan to take down the Dark Lord of the wizarding world.

But she'd forgotten one thing—puberty.

Thankfully, it wasn't her that was going through puberty (yet) but she had completely forgotten about it until she was rudely awakened by a scream.

At 7 AM in the morning. 7 AM. This was unforgiveable.

She stomped to the bathroom which Lily was currently occupying, joined by her surprised and worried mum and dad. Petunia merely stuck her head out of her room and promptly closed it when she saw there wasn't anything life-threatening going on.

Max knocked on the door. "Lily, what's wrong? What happened?"

"Um…" Came Lily's voice weakly from behind the door, "There's blood. On my _knickers_."

Immediately, Max's face turned a shocking white. "I'll just leave this to you." He told Julie awkwardly, and shuffled to the living room where the telly was waiting.

"Honey, can you open the door?" Asked Julie, looking slightly amused and exasperated.

Oh yeah. Hogwarts didn't have sex ed classes, and since she and Lily hadn't gone to a Muggle middle school, they hadn't gotten the whole "period" talk.

"Er, I'm just gonna leave too." Zinnia tried to edge away but Julie caught her.

"You too, young lady. You and Lily need to hear this talk."

 _Oh Merlin_ , Zinnia moaned internally. This was not going to be fun.

Later that day, Zinnia had the pleasant task of informing Severus that Lily couldn't join them because she wasn't feeling too well (AKA cramps). Clearly, Severus hadn't gotten sex ed either, because he innocently asked if Lily had gotten a cold.

It was really, really hard to come up with a believable excuse as to why Lily had kicked him out of her room.

Unfortunately, Severus could tell when she was lying—apparently she twitched her left fingers—and had demanded the truth.

So she gave him the truth.

"She's on her period and she's got cramps." Zinnia told him crassly.

Merlin, Lily would kill her for telling Severus. Lily was still getting used to the idea of puberty herself, and well, it was going to be _awkward_ when she was feeling better.

"What?" Severus asked, clueless, "What does that mean?"

"Maybe you should ask your mum." Zinnia offered, shoving off the duty of teaching Severus about sex ed onto Eileen.

"Okay?" He gave her a blank look and she tried not to show how uncomfortable she was.

Telling a naïve thirteen year old boy about period was definitely cringe-worthy in her books.

The next day, Eileen Prince showed up at the Evans' doorstep with a cramp-reducing potion and a heavily blushing Severus.

Zinnia couldn't _wait_ for Severus to start going through puberty. She was going to have a lot of fun making fun of his voice cracking.

* * *

And so the summer ended, with the beginning of puberty and the coming end of childhood innocence.

Lily and Severus were growing up.

This was a fact that just couldn't register in Zinnia's brain—all her life, they'd been so young, so small. But Severus was already beginning to grow out of his clothes, his gangly limbs hanging out of his now too-short sleeves and pants. And Lily was starting to develop her womanly curves; the onset of her growing breasts demanding new bras.

They were growing up. And they would no longer be children.

And the faster they grew up, the faster the war approached.

Zinnia was not ready.

What was she doing? She'd wasted so much time, precious minutes and hours that could've been spent researching and planning.

Her summer was piled with regrets, and Zinnia could feel the weight of the future getting heavier and heavier.

The rest of her school years looked too short, and she was starting to feel pressed for time. Because time was everything when she was in a battle against time itself. The more time she had, the more scheming she could do. And no matter what happened, nothing was ever good enough. Nothing was ever enough to defeat Voldemort, and protect the ones she cared about.

This was not going to be an enjoyable year. But then again, none of the years ahead would be enjoyable until Voldemort was dead and gone. Until he was smashed into bits, obliterated until there was absolutely no way he could come back to life.

Zinnia would make sure of that, even if it killed her.

She pushed the thoughts to the back of her head where she could mull over them later. For now, she was happy just watching Lily and Severus interact.

(Thankfully, they were close and comfortable enough to get over the awkwardness that was puberty.)

"We get Hogsmeade visits this year." Severus told Lily excitedly as they sat on the Hogwarts Express, going back for another year at Hogwarts, but his voice cracked halfway through the sentence.

Zinnia sniggered and his face lit up like a red Christmas light.

Quite frankly, blushing wasn't a good look on him—it contrasted sharply with the thin pallor of his face. This made Zinnia snicker even harder, and Severus sat there, glaring, as Lily patted his arm in comfort while trying to hide her own giggles.

All was well. (For the moment, at least.)

* * *

Steeping inside of Hogwarts was a relief. Immediately, Zinnia reached for her wand, relishing in the feeling of the smooth, cool wood under her hand.

 _This is more like it_. She thought, silently casting a spell that would make her robes impervious to weaker hexes and curses.

Casting spells was like slipping into a favorite old sweater.

Glancing to her right, she could see Lily grinning widely, taking in the familiar sights of Hogwarts.

It was beautiful and it was glorious, and it was magic. Everything seemed to have a feeling of being _more_ , like everything was somehow better compared to last year. After weeks of no magic, things just seemed shinier, fresher.

Severus could barely contain his excitement either, and he took a deep breath of anticipation as they walked into the Great Hall.

"We're third years now." He told Lily proudly, before they went their separate ways to their respective Houses.

Zinnia settled down next to Emily and Reyna, who were already chatting amicably. As soon as Emily saw Zinnia, she launched into a long explanation of her summer, detailing everything she had left out in her letters.

Apparently, the Blacks had thrown some kind of social gathering (it really just was a party, but Pureblood traditions didn't have anything as undignified as parties) and most of the Sacred 28 had gone, including Emily and Reyna.

"You should've seen Black's face—it was hilarious! The moment his mum announced that they were looking for a fiancé for him, the girls were on him like harpies. It was _crazy_." Emily retold the story with a positively gleeful tone, recalling the hilarity of the day.

"Never knew you were such a sadist." Snorted Zinnia.

Emily smirked, "I can't help it that the whole situation was unbearably funny—the sheer look of terror on Black's face was brilliant."

"Wait, which Black?" Zinnia asked, noting that they'd only been looking for a fiancé for one of the Black brothers.

"Regulus, of course. I heard Sirius flipped his shit when they tried to find a fiancé for him. Lady Black just likes to pretend he doesn't exist now." Reyna answered, always on top of Pureblood gossip.

"And good thing it was Regulus, too. You were one of the girls flirting with him, weren't you, Rey?" Emily snickered, ignoring the nasty glare Reyna sent her way.

"Wow, Reyna, never knew you had it in you." Zinnia drawled.

"Oh, shut up you two." Reyna flipped her hair confidently. "I'm always looking for opportunities. And I was definitely the best of the girls."

"At least you guys are in the same year. You'll have plenty of chances to take your shot." Noted Zinnia. But she didn't doubt that Reyna was the best candidate out of all the candidates—she wasn't vapid, and she knew how to handle herself. To her, beauty was a weapon she knew how to use. And she used it well.

But at the same time, it was also kind of sad that she'd already been trained to use her beauty at such a young age. Really, Purebloods were frightening.

In Zinnia's opinion, Reyna would make the best Black matriarch, but at this point, it was definitely still a loveless relationship. Reyna had her sights set on the Black family, not Regulus himself.

Pureblood families were insane, and Zinnia was glad she had been born a Muggleborn. She couldn't even imagine getting engaged at twelve.

"You're not aiming to be his fiancé, Emily?" Asked Zinnia, curious as to why Emily wouldn't take such a chance.

"No way in hell." Emily answered, her face twisting into a grimace. "I'm fine with my family station as it is, and I don't think I could handle being a Black. Walburga Black is the epitome of a mother-in-law from hell. Rey has a really good chance though."

"Too true." Said Reyna, with a self-assurance that Zinnia knew many other girls were jealous of. "It helps that he's handsome, too."

Zinnia tried not to frown with disgust. (They were freaking _twelve_.) "I suppose."

Emily burst into laughter. "Oh, Zin, you're so awkward sometimes. Can't we appreciate handsome boys?"

"Onto another subject." Zinnia said loudly, pointedly ignoring Reyna and Emily's sniggers, "The Sorting's started, so maybe we should pay attention."

"Okay, okay." Emily smiled, still amused by the whole conversation.

Zinnia rolled her eyes and faced forward, watching the first years line up for their names to be called. It wasn't that she was anti-relationships—it was just the age of the people she was around. Being an adult meant that she could find other students good-looking, but not necessarily feel attracted to them.

Of course, Emily and Reyna didn't understand this, so she was left to face their amusement at her expense.

Well, it didn't really matter anyway. Zinnia was too occupied by her dreams and the future to care about such irrelevant things.

She listened to the Sorting with only half an ear, not recognizing any of the names being called. Surprisingly, there were a lot more Slytherins this year compared to last year, and Zinnia could tell that Slytherin was going to have an unpredictable year. With so many more first years to keep in line, the prefects were going to have a hell of a time keeping an eye on all of them.

Slytherins were a sneaky lot, and to be fair, so was she. She was going to have to sort out all their allegiances without raising suspicion, but being the only Muggleborn was like putting a flashing neon sign on the middle of her forehead.

Oh well, she'd just wait and see how they reacted to her. Hopefully there'd be a few that weren't purist arseholes.

The first year Slytherins settled down at the table, and Zinnia could tell that the rumors were already starting to fly. By the time she got to dessert, she'd gotten more than a few looks, and most of them were nasty.

Shaking her head exasperatedly, she shrugged off the stares and kept eating. It was like first year all over again.

Reyna snapped viciously, "What're you lot looking at?" The students nearby cringed away from her and Emily glared at everyone who glanced their way.

Zinnia felt a tug of happiness and warmth in her heart. Maybe it wasn't first year all over again after all.

"Thanks." She murmured, as she cut her cheesecake into bite-size pieces.

Reyna rolled her eyes, "What're you thanking us for? There's nothing to thank, you idiot."

Emily cheerfully poked Zinnia's cheek. "C'mon, smile."

And so she did.

She'd never felt the strength of their friendship before, and if this was what having true friends felt like, she never wanted to lose them.

With a jolt, she realized that her list of people to protect was growing—she hadn't meant for it to happen, but it had happened.

Shoving her cheesecake into her mouth with gusto, Zinnia vowed she'd never let Voldemort hurt anyone she cared about.

* * *

It was only the first week, and some of the first years had already joined in with Zinnia's customary bullying. Most of them had backed off after hearing about Zinnia's affiliation to the Rosiers, but it was still irritating to have even more people attacking her.

And they were younger than her. Younger than her.

This was a huge blow to Zinnia's pride (not that it was very strong to begin with; she was constantly getting her arse kicked by people "older" than her) and she resolved to build up respect from the first years.

Seriously, she wasn't going to let some tiny eleven year old brats mess with her. It would be a cold day in hell when she was taken down by all this bullying.

Classes were mind-numbingly boring as usual, so Zinnia usually just slept or got petty revenge on the people who were stupid enough to try to bully her during class.

Revenge usually involved wet book bags, blue hair, locked fingers, and sometimes even exploding quills.

Whoever said vengeance wasn't satisfying was dead wrong.

Mulciber was idiotic enough to try and attack her in Potions, and that day, Zinnia was in a bad mood. She'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed (not literally, of course) and had been too late to get much breakfast. She was hungry, tired, and cranky.

Last night, she'd been working on a Levitation rune that had promptly blown up in her face, and she'd spent the rest of her night cleaning up the mess and fixing the rune.

So today was not a good day, and she was not happy.

Slughorn, as usual, rambled on, and Zinnia tuned him out as she tried to discreetly nap without him noticing. He was trying to explain the third step of the Sleeping Draught they were working on, and Regulus had taken over their potion so Zinnia just rested on the side.

Mulciber, thinking that a tired Zinnia was a weak Zinnia, foolishly tried to attack her with an Exploding Hex. It did not go down well.

The spell ricocheted off her robes and onto the side, where it hit the cauldron Regulus was currently working on. Zinnia watched as the cauldron promptly exploded into tiny pieces and splattered Regulus with what had been their potion.

She ducked and avoided the flying pieces, but the students around her weren't so lucky. Mulciber looked horrified as he observed the ensuing damage, and he even got hit in the head with a sharp piece of metal.

Zinnia couldn't find any sympathy or pity in herself to scrape up for him.

 _That's karma, bitch_ , she smirked to herself.

And things only went downhill from there.

A crabby Zinnia was not a Zinnia to be messed with, but a wet and furious Regulus was definite death.

Regulus' robes were smoking, which had thankfully blocked most of the damage from the potion, but his hair was singed and their potion was destroyed. They were definitely not getting an O for their potion today.

"What the _fuck_ , Mulciber?" He hissed, storming towards the bleeding boy and whipping out his wand.

With his tattered robes and messy appearance, he looked like a deranged prisoner escapee coming for Mulciber's soul.

"B-Black." He stammered, trying to back away. His legs trembled violently and he tripped and fell onto the floor in an undignified heap.

"What happened?" Slughorn was making his way towards them with a horrified face as he examined the chaos.

There were at least three students who'd been injured by the broken cauldron, two of which were crying hysterically, and one who'd fainted. The remains of the potion was splattered everywhere, acting like a weak acid and scorching a few desks and the floor.

And worst of all, Regulus was enraged. Zinnia had never seen him this angry before, and frankly, she was glad she never had.

"Professor." Regulus said tightly, visibly calming himself as he tucked his wand away. "Mulciber decided to cast an Exploding Hex, which backfired horribly. It hit the cauldron, which exploded. And destroyed our potion."

Zinnia had a feeling Regulus had really wanted to tack on "the fucking idiot" onto Mulciber's name.

Slughorn frowned. "How do you know it was Mr. Mulciber?"

"Because he's the only one sitting at the right angle for the spell's reaction." Snarled Regulus. He also knew that Mulciber was one of Zinnia's main tormentors, but he didn't mention that to Slughorn. Slughorn was the Head of their House, and should've known something like that.

"Oi, you gonna help the injured students?" Barked Zinnia, who was bending down and reaching for a slightly cut up Emily. Reyna, luckily, had escaped the metal pieces.

"O-of course." Slughorn startled, and turned his attention to the wounded.

"You okay?" Zinnia muttered to Emily, as she healed a minor cut on her arm.

"Yeah, thanks." Emily didn't even flinch as Zinnia carefully sealed up a larger cut as best she could.

"I'm taking her to the Hospital Wing." Announced Zinnia. She slung Emily's arm over her shoulder, trying to take the weight off of her bleeding leg that had a piece of metal stuck in it, and left the room without waiting for Slughorn's consent.

"I'll help the others." Reyna took charge as Slughorn tried to clean up the spilled potion, "Those who can get to the Hospital Wing alone, go there. Those who can't, find a partner to help." She turned to Rowan Parkinson, who'd fainted.

"Fucking incompetent." Spat Regulus under his breath, glowering at Slughorn as he made his way over to Rowan.

"Move over." He told Reyna, "I'll take him."

He quickly cast a Levitation charm and made his way towards the Hospital Wing as well.

Reyna scowled at his brusqueness and went over to help another injured student.

The Gryffindors stayed in their seats, unwilling to help any of the Slytherins. They'd been outside the blast range, but being uninjured didn't mean they were inclined to help any of the Slytherins. In their opinion, the Slytherins deserved it, and Reyna vowed revenge on them as she helped Evan Rosier to the Infirmary.

Madam Pomfrey's smile upon seeing Zinnia immediately faded as soon as she saw the sheer amount of injuries that were flooding in.

"Oh Merlin, what happened?" She fluttered frantically, clearing up beds for the students and pulling out her potions.

"An Exploding Hex hit the cauldron. Need help?" Zinnia carefully and gently helped Emily onto an empty bed before approaching Madam Pomfrey.

"That Slughorn." Sighed Madam Pomfrey with irritation, "I _told_ him to reinforce his cauldrons." She spared Zinnia a glance. "I'd love the help, dear. Here, go get more of these potions."

Zinnia set to work as she scurried around, trying to tend to all of the students that needed help as Madam Pomfrey healed all of their major injuries.

"Excuse me?" A voice interrupted the busy scene, "I'd like to help as well."

Zinnia looked up with surprise to see a Gryffindor girl with wavy brown hair and ethereal silvery grey eyes. Vaguely, she recalled the girl's name to be something like Panera.

"I'm Pandora Johnson." The girl introduced.

 _Close enough_. Zinnia thought, turning back to her work, letting Madam Pomfrey handle the newcomer.

While she was surprised that a Gryffindor had shown up, she hadn't really bothered to really get to know any of them, so it wasn't of big importance to her.

Right behind Pandora was Regulus, who was levitating Rowan Parkinson into the Infirmary.

"Put him there." Ordered Madam Pomfrey, rushing towards Parkinson. He'd been the only one who'd fainted—a fact Zinnia was sure the Slytherins would tease him for—so either his injuries had been the most severe or he'd gone into shock.

Regulus chose a cot for himself and lay down, grimacing at the state of his robes.

Zinnia was healing a few cuts when Pandora came over.

"Here, I can do this." She said gently, "I don't know how to heal burns so you have to help that boy over there."

Confused, Zinnia followed her gaze and immediately scowled when she saw it was Regulus.

"Fine." She grabbed a potion and made her way over to him.

"What do you want?" He snapped, as soon as he saw her.

"You want to be healed or not?"

Regulus didn't answer, so Zinnia took his silence as his defeat and handed him the potion. He gulped it down, and his skin immediately began to lose its raw pink color, smoothing new skin over the burned patches.

He grit his teeth through the pain and gave back the empty flask.

Zinnia waited a few moments for the potion to take effect. "Better?"

He gave a terse nod.

Predictably, he hadn't bothered to thank her, and Zinnia was tempted to tell him to heal his own burns next time.

She was just about to leave when she realized something.

"Why isn't your face all cut up?" The potion had exploded right in his face, but he didn't have any cuts on him.

"I turned my face away and cast a shield charm." He answered shortly.

Zinnia raised her eyebrows with surprise, feeling a bit impressed. That was some fast spellcasting right there.

"I hope you're ready for a T on our potion." She knew that Blacks didn't accept anything but perfection, and this messed up potion would be a huge blow to Regulus' normally pristine grades.

"I know." His jaw set in anger and he didn't say anything else.

Was he planning revenge on Mulciber? Zinnia couldn't read him, but revenge seemed like something too petty for him.

After a long pause, Regulus looked up at Zinnia. "You want in?" He asked, grudgingly.

"In on what?"

"Someone needs to teach Mulciber to never do that again." There was a bit of malicious hunger in his voice, a hunger that Zinnia wouldn't usually associate with Regulus.

Something had definitely happened over the summer because he'd really changed.

"And you want my help." Zinnia asked flatly, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"You may be a Mudblood, but you're good." He admitted, sounding like his arm was being twisted and snapped in half.

Teaching Mulciber a lesson would just culminate the hate in him, but he wouldn't be able to anything about it. If she managed to scare him enough, he might even back off and just loathe her from in the shadows.

Zinnia's reckless and vindictive side got the best of her—Emily had been _hurt_ —and she nodded. "I'm in."

Regulus smirked, like he knew something she didn't. "Didn't doubt it for a second."

His smugness pissed her off, and she glared at him. "Don't assume you know me." Without waiting for an answer, she walked off.

She was confused, and that was not a good thing.

How could one person have changed so much in such a short time? Regulus had been a cool and collected person, never letting anything get to him. Now, he was impulsive and a lot more vicious than before. Just what the hell had happened during the summer?

There were too many unknowns involved with the Slytherins—Pureblood families were shady as fuck, especially the Blacks. Zinnia didn't even want to know what went on in their private lives.

Still, she was a Slytherin herself, and Regulus' change in personality was huge. She was definitely going to figure out what happened, because such a big change meant a possibility of Regulus going against Voldemort a lot earlier than he had in the previous timeline. Having a Black as an ally would be a major plus—they had access to resources and knowledge that was normally impossible to get.

And with that in mind, Zinnia started to plan.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for the follows and favorites! And thank you to Lady Syndra, Andy the willow tree, Adhara Snow, KumorikoKumoriko, Goldspark1, LoveroftheKiller, Guest, Mimosa Evans, ellietischler, Mari Wollsch, Inari, xXIvoryElephantXx, pojo18, shugokage, SmexyBananas, Eliana34, ColorfulRandomness, AACM25, Qinetiq, and blinddivinity for reviewing!**

 **As usual, feel free to point out any issues or grammar mistakes, and thanks for reading.**

 **This chapter is a lot shorter than what I wanted, but I hadn't posted a chapter in a little over a month, so I wanted to get something out there.**

 **Also, did anyone catch the sunflower symbolism? Haughtiness isn't its only meaning. (Actually, I always try to put foreshadowing in my chapters, but I think they weren't too well implemented, whoops).**

 **Replies to guest reviews:**

 **Goldspark1: Thank you so much for reviewing, as always! She'll always be hated for her blood heritage by _someone_ , and racism (or in this context, blood purity) is always present, unfortunately. I'm not the best at writing out duels, but I'll try my best. I'm also not sure when she'll next interact with James and Sirius, but I can say with confidence that she'd definitely get along best with Remus if she had to interact with them. Yeah, Lily choosing James will be a huge blow to Severus—but that's somewhere in the far future, so I'm still deciding how I want to handle the whole fall out between Lily and Severus in fifth year.**

 **Guest: Thank you for reviewing! You're super and amazing. :)**

 **Inari: You're from Chile? That's so cool; I've always wanted to go there! Haha, thanks for reviewing, even though English isn't your main language. In my opinion, your grammar is good, considering that English isn't your first language, so don't worry. And thank you so much for your kind words!**


	12. cover your crystal eyes

Everything would end up going down in flames. No matter what plans she scrapped and changed, they all were completely useless. Figuring out Regulus' true allegiances was turning out to be way harder than she thought it would.

And if she couldn't even figure out his allegiances, how could she take down Voldemort? Getting Regulus to be anti-Voldemort was only one of the many steps she'd have to take to make sure Lily and Severus lived.

It also didn't help that Regulus could be as unresponsive as a rock and pricklier than a cactus. On the rare days he actually responded in full sentences, he was only barely civil.

Still, it was better than first year, when he'd treated her like she was lower than shit, always managing to slip in "Mudblood" into every interaction.

Zinnia sighed. You couldn't be picky when dealing with someone like Regulus Black, so she'd take what she could get. It'd be a hell of a time getting him to open up to her though.

She'd just follow him when he was acting suspicious, and take every precaution possible for her level to make sure she didn't get caught.

She was starting to sound like an insane stalker, but well, desperate times called for desperate measures, right?

It'd only been a few days since the Potions incident, and Regulus' behavior had only become increasingly strange. Somehow, in the span of a week, he'd expanded his social circle to include almost all the prominent Pureblood families in their year.

He also hadn't spoken to her since his offer to deal with Mulciber, and Zinnia was beginning to wonder if he'd been lying to see her response. He was either fooling around with her or he was smarter than Zinnia had first thought.

Mulciber had been overly paranoid the first two days after the Potions incident; holding his wand out for the entire day and constantly looking behind his back. There was even a rumor he'd added traps to his bedroom door.

But a little over a week had passed since then, and he'd relaxed into his normal routine. If Regulus' plan was to lull him into a false sense of security, it was working.

Those were just Zinnia's thoughts, though. If she were the leader of Regulus' little group, she would definitely attack Mulciber at his most unaware and scare the shit out of him. But Regulus was just a twelve year old kid, and she tended to forget that—he, like Lily and Severus, was mature for his age. So she wasn't sure if she was overestimating his intelligence or not.

It was currently History of Magic class, and it was the perfect time for Zinnia to sleep or run her overanalyzing thoughts in her head. She glared down at her desk, contemplating the past week.

A paper airplane hit the back of her head and she jerked up, surprised by the sudden contact.

"What the—" She grumbled to herself, picking up the folded paper and looking for the culprit.

Emily, who was only one seat behind her, wiggled her fingers and smiled. Zinnia resisted the urge to roll her eyes—they weren't far apart enough to warrant the use of paper airplanes.

"What?" She mouthed, raising an eyebrow at Emily.

Emily shrugged and motioned for her to open the paper airplane. Zinnia frowned and turned around to unfold the paper, leaving Emily to go back to drawing on Reyna's arm while she slept.

Pressing out the creases, Zinnia noted that the paper was impeccably folded, and placed the paper on her desk. It was an incredibly short note that only took up one inch of space and Zinnia mourned the waste of parchment before reading it.

 _Lower Chambers Corridor West, Room 8. 11 o'clock._

The note wasn't signed, but Zinnia had an inkling it was Regulus.

Glancing over her shoulder, she looked at Regulus, who was brooding in the back of the classroom, and he gave her a curt nod.

She turned back to the front and crumpled the note, shoving it in her pocket. She'd burn it later, just to be safe.

(It wasn't even something that dangerous, but one could never be too careful. Leaving behind evidence was the stupidest thing someone could do).

Class ended before she had the chance to do anything else, and she stood up, stretching her tired legs. And waited for the inevitable shriek.

"Emily!" Ah, there it was. Zinnia smirked as Reyna stared at her arm in horror, and Emily dashed out the door, cackling softly.

Zinnia gave Emily a discreet thumbs up as she left the classroom in fear of Reyna's anger.

"Merlin," Moaned Reyna, staring at the doodles of trolls eating rainbows on her arm, "It's terrible."

Snickering, Zinnia followed Emily out the door as Reyna tried to get rid of the ink on her arm.

Emily was waiting in the hall for Zinnia, and she gave a shit-eating grin when she saw Zinnia's amused face. "I used Indelible Ink this time."

"Reyna's going to kill you." Zinnia tried not to burst out in laughter at the thought of Reyna having the drawings stuck on her arm for the rest of the week.

"I know." Emily smirked, "Just a little payback for when she ruined my Transfiguration essay." Transfiguration was Emily's best subject and she was terrified of letting McGonagall down, so she'd stayed up until 4 AM trying to redo her essay.

"It was an accident!" Zinnia and Emily turned to see a scowling Reyna.

"Don't worry, it'll wear off in a week." Emily skipped forward and pat her on the shoulder in mock comfort.

Reyna stopped dead in her footsteps. "A week?" She screeched.

"Yup." Emily said cheerfully, "C'mon, let's go to Herbology, we don't want to be late."

"Oi—oi! Emily!" Reyna chased after Emily, trying to get her to remove the doodles.

Zinnia followed at a more languid pace, feeling a sort of contented amusement. Slytherins were such vindictive little shits.

By the end of dinner, Reyna had finally worn down Emily, who agreed to do the counterspell to erase the ink. She'd bribed Emily with her slice of cheesecake for dessert—the cheesecakes here were _divine_ , Zinnia would've done anything for an extra slice herself—so Reyna now had a clean arm and Emily had a full stomach.

"Alright." Zinnia stood up and gathered her things. Emily and Reyna looked up from their desserts. "I'm heading off to the library. See you later."

They waved goodbye, already used to Zinnia's strange habits, and went back to their food.

Of course, Zinnia wasn't going to the library—she was going to the Room of Requirement to meet Severus and Lily, as usual. Nobody knew that though, so she just let people think she was always at the library.

(No one knew what she was always "studying" though; a lot of her grades were shit for the amount of time she spent in the library).

Zinnia pushed open the door after thinking for it in her head, and was surprised to see Severus and Lily already there. Usually, the two were busier with their third year schedule, and Zinnia would have to wait for them.

"What's wrong?" Lily's face was scrunched with worry, and Severus looked a bit exasperated.

"She heard about the Potions incident." Severus told Zinnia, running a hand through his hair tiredly.

Zinnia set down her things and sat next to Lily on the couch. "And?"

Lily frowned, "I heard it was really bad, and a lot of people had to go to the Hospital Wing,"

"Yeah, but we're all fine. Mulciber just hit a cauldron with a spell by accident, that's all." Zinnia made sure not to mention whose cauldron it was.

"Sev told me that he was trying to attack you." Zinnia shot Severus a dirty look and he splayed his hands out in a helpless manner.

"I couldn't exactly lie about it—everyone knows a lot of Slytherins still hate you for being a Mud—Muggleborn."

Zinnia raised an eyebrow at his slip-up. It looked like his Slytherin friends were influencing him more than she'd anticipated. Hopefully, he and Lily wouldn't have a falling out this time around, though. It would make everything a mess. And she was holding out hope that Severus wouldn't fall too far into the Slytherin elitism.

"Well, don't worry. Nothing happened; I'm fine, as you can see." Zinnia pulled out some books from her bag, hoping the conversation was over.

It wasn't.

"He tried to kill you." Lily said, horrified.

"Nah, Mulciber's a bloody tosser. He can't hex worth shit." Zinnia replied offhandedly, distracted by the new Runes book she'd bought at Diagon Alley.

"It was an Exploding Hex."

"So?" Zinnia was unperturbed—she'd had worse than that.

"So, it was something that could've killed you if it had hit you! Look at what it did to the cauldron!" Sometimes, Lily really wanted to take a chair and beat some sense into her sister.

"But it didn't. And everyone knows Slughorn's cauldrons are older than Dumbledore. They needed to be replaced anyway."

Severus took one look at Lily's angry face and knew this wasn't going to end well.

"Lily, every Slytherin knows to protect themselves. Zinnia's no different, and she got out unscathed. That's a lot better than some other second years."

Zinnia nodded emphatically. "Exactly. So don't worry about it, okay?"

Taking a deep breath, Lily let out a strangled noise of frustration.

"I heard Black's planning to teach Mulciber a lesson." Severus plowed on, wanting the details of the rumor he'd heard in the Common Room.

"Yeah."

"And you're joining him."

Zinnia shot Severus an incredulous look.

The arsehole had just thrown her under the bus.

"Why would you say that?" She hissed, glancing at Lily and slowly inching away.

"It's true, isn't it?" Severus had a gleam of approval in his eyes.

That was the last straw. "What the hell?" Lily exploded, "How can you two take this so nonchalantly? Zin almost got killed, and now you're talking about bullying?"

"Uh." Zinnia tried not to cower under Lily's rage. Honestly, the only thing she was afraid of was an angry Lily.

When Lily was mad, she was mad. And right now, her bright green eyes looked more like flames from hell.

She continued to scream at the two Slytherins, stomping closer to them with her hands clenched in tight fists. As she continued to rant about getting killed and bullying, her hands flailed in fury and Severus quickly darted behind Zinnia to dodge Lily's fists.

"Shit." Muttered Severus, hiding most of his face behind Zinnia's back as the two tried to move backwards without being noticed.

"Oi!" Zinnia shoved Severus in front of her, making him the shield instead of her. "You're the one who set her off so stop being a big baby."

He quickly paled when he saw Lily advancing at a rapid speed with her arms flailing madly and tried to move behind Zinnia again. This ensued in a shoving match, and Lily quickly trapped the two while they were too busy trying to hide behind each other.

Lily stopped yelling to catch her breath, her chest heaving as she pinned them with blazing eyes. The silence pulled at every direction, and the tension in the room held at a taut, uncomfortable simmering rage from Lily.

Zinnia tried not to fidget and stood absolutely still, her limbs feeling like stone. The only audible sound was Lily's harsh breathing, and Severus' posture was straighter than an iron rod.

"You—" Lily started, but cut herself off. She seemed to be at a loss for words and let out a heavy sigh.

Zinnia's shoulders relaxed minutely.

Lily slumped tiredly. "Just—please, _please_ don't get hurt. I won't be able to stand it if either of you get hurt." She looked small and broken, and Zinnia hated herself for making Lily feel that way.

"I'm sorry." She murmured, and took Lily's hand, squeezing it tightly.

Lily looked up and squeezed back even harder. "I just hate that I can't do anything. And I never know what's going on—I bet you two would never tell me anything unless I mention the rumors first."

"Sorry, Lily." Severus looked remorseful as he took her other hand.

The three were quiet for a moment before Lily spoke again. "I love you guys, you know that, right?" Her voice was meek but fierce, and Zinnia marveled at Lily's strength.

Lily was right; she and Severus never told her anything, and they were engaging in increasingly Dark behavior. If that didn't make Lily stressed, she didn't know what would.

"I can't promise that I won't get hurt, but I can promise that I'll tell you more about Slytherin from now on." Zinnia gave her sister a hesitant smile and Severus nodded in agreement.

Lily sniffed, wiping away a few tears that had dripped from her eyes. "Oh, c'mere, you two idiots." She pulled Zinnia and Severus into a tight hug.

It was a heartbreakingly warm moment, and Zinnia knew she would rather die first than let Lily get hurt. She and Severus both. They never said anything sentimental or sappy; they preferred to express their love through their actions.

Severus smiled softly and Zinnia could see the pure affection in his eyes for Lily. Everything about him was softer when it came to Lily, and Zinnia didn't blame him—she suspected she was like that with Lily too.

Zinnia didn't know how long they stood, hugging, but by the time Lily let go, her arms were numb.

But she didn't care—it was beautifully perfect tingling feeling that matched the one in her chest, and she couldn't even begin to express how much she loved her sister. (And Severus, but she would never openly admit that).

For the rest of the night, Zinnia couldn't hide the small upward tilt of her lips, no matter how much she tried to suppress her happiness. So she let herself relax for a while, basking in the warm and cozy ease that came with the two people closest to her.

The rug was so warm and soft and she was so content that she accidentally fell asleep while reading her Runes textbook in front of the fireplace.

When she woke up, the clock read 10:45. Lily and Severus were still asleep on the sofa, sprawled out over each other and their books, and Zinnia pulled a blanket over them before fully registering the time.

The meeting was at 11.

" _Fuck_." She hissed, jumping up with renewed vigor, and shook the sleepiness from her limbs. Quickly scrawling a note for Lily and Severus, she haphazardly shoved everything into her bag and bolted out the door.

Adrenaline raced through her veins, and her heart beat so quickly it was pounding in her ears.

 _Oh, shit, shit, shit_. She only had five more minutes to get to the meeting, and she really couldn't be late if she wanted to keep the meager respect the others had for her.

She frantically threw her bag into her room, startling Emily and Reyna, who both looked up curiously. Shouting a rushed bye to their confused faces, she dashed to the meeting place, barely making it on time.

 _Right on the dot._ She smirked to herself, panting heavily for air. All her physical training had paid off—she'd run through half the castle in just fifteen minutes.

Regulus tried to hold back a look of disdain at her disheveled appearance but failed miserably.

"Now that we're all here," he drawled, shooting a sneer at Zinnia, "we can discuss the plan."

She twitched—she was on time, the arsehole.

Zinnia glanced around her and saw that there were around five other students, and one of them was, surprisingly, Evan Rosier. He noticed her stare and gave her a small smile, which she returned with a nod. She recognized the rest to be part of Regulus' "gang", which included Rowan Parkinson, who was looking significantly better. (He was the only one who'd fainted during the Potions incident, amusingly).

"I've been observing Mulciber for a week," continued Regulus, "and I've devised a plan."

"How do you know the plan will work?" Interrupted Zinnia. Not to be rude or anything, but she didn't exactly trust the mind of a twelve year old.

"It will." He snapped, shooting her an irritated look.

"Okay, whatever you say, boss." She muttered sarcastically under her breath. If worse came to worse, she knew how to cut her losses and get the hell out of there without getting caught.

As Regulus outlined the plan, Zinnia felt a hint of approval—it was actually well thought out. Of course, she knew that nothing ever went according to plan, so as he spoke, she formulated a back-up plan in her mind.

But it wouldn't be until two weeks later that Regulus' plan was put into motion. By then, Mulciber had forgotten about Regulus' threat, and was back to being cocky and insufferable as usual.

Zinnia had gone over his plan again and again in her head, but she couldn't deny that it was good—though it relied a bit too much on Mulciber's predictability. Still, Zinnia couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Or something was going to go wrong.

But being the adult she was, she ignored it and decided to deal with it later.

* * *

The Slytherin common room was quiet and soothing, but Regulus had other things to do than bask in its serene atmosphere.

Everyone had filed out for dinner, so the room was mostly empty, save for Regulus and a few stragglers. He walked to the door and casually sat down on an armchair next to it, waiting for the signal that Evan would be giving. Rowan was busy placing wards on the corridor where they'd be trapping Mulciber in.

Regulus struggled to keep the smirk off his face as he thought about crushing Mulciber for what he'd done. He'd ruined his potion and Regulus had gotten a T for the first time in his life. A "T". And it wasn't even about the grade, it was what had happened because of the grade.

Mulciber had destroyed the last bit of control Regulus had left in his life, and he was going to make him _pay_.

He tensed slightly when he heard three sharp, distinct knocks on the door and looked around him to make sure no one had noticed the sound. A vicious sort of hunger made its way onto his face, and he was out the door before anyone could notice the change.

Quickly casting a Disillusionment charm on himself and signaling the other boys to do the same, he mentally reviewed the spells he'd need and waited for the scene unfold in front of him. He was pressed up against the wall with the other boys, and he leaned over to Evan.

"Dinner go okay?" He muttered softly.

Evan's smirk had a cruel sort of satisfaction to it. "Of course. I made his food taste so bad he was out of there before they even served the ham."

Regulus gave him a matching smirk. "Excellent."

They all turned when they heard a noise and saw Mulciber turning the corner, looking green.

A sharp anticipation thrummed in Regulus and he tightened his grip on his wand.

Mulciber, nearing the Common Room entrance, hadn't noticed anything amiss, and was going to utter the password when Evans turned the corner right behind him.

Regulus waited patiently. It was time to see if she would pull through. If she didn't, well, he had other plans that didn't include her.

"Oi, Mulciber." He heard her call sharply. Her face was thin and sharp in the dim torchlight, and her dark red hair was shaded with tones of black from the shadows. Only her cool, steady green eyes seemed to have any color. They remained impassive as she goaded Mulciber.

"Hurry up; you take longer than my grandmum when she's getting out of bed. I'm not surprised you've forgotten the password though, considering how stupid you are. What was the last grade you got on the History of Magic test? Wasn't it a P?"

Mulciber turned around to face her, face heating with anger and embarrassment. "What did you just say to me, Mudblood?"

Evans rolled her eyes and made a whole show of cleaning out her ear. "Like I haven't heard that one a million times." She scoffed. Regulus had to bite back a laugh—her apathetic and sarcastic manner was funny when it wasn't being used on him.

Mulciber grit his teeth. "You think you're better than me, Mudblood? Looks like I've let you gain a bit too much confidence. After all, you're not even fit to clean my shoes."

He moved to pull out his wand but Evans had anticipated this and was even faster.

" _Flipendo_." She snapped, and Mulciber barely had enough time to dodge before she was on him like a wolf going after its meal. He tried to block the barrage of jinxes and hexes she was shooting, and failed to notice that Evans was pushing him in the direction of where she wanted him to be.

They moved into the empty corridor that Rowan had blocked off from others with wards and silencing charms. Evans shot a tripping jinx that made contact and Mulciber fell backwards onto his arse.

Regulus and the others quickly formed a circle around him as Evans disarmed Mulciber, catching his wand in one smooth motion.

Mulciber snarled and tried to go after his wand but Regulus and the others released the charm and Evans quietly backed away, still holding Mulciber's wand.

"Mulciber." Regulus' voice was colder than an arctic tundra and Mulciber began to take on the look of a cornered dog as he glanced around at the five boys surrounding him.

"Y-you won't get away with this, Black. My family's more powerful than you know. When they find out—"

Regulus cut him off. "They won't find out." His blood boiled with anger at the implication that the Mulcibers had more power than the Blacks and it only added fuel to the fire. His body buzzed with twisted excitement—his frustration and anger was an eruption in the forming.

"So, let me teach you a little lesson to _never_ mess with me again. If you even come near me, you're _dead_."

Mulciber's face drained of color but he tried to keep up a pretense of courage. "Oh yeah? Well you'll be the one getting the lesson." But his legs trembled uncontrollably and he looked so horrified that he could barely move.

"Here," Sneered Regulus, looking at his trembling legs, "let me fix that for you." He cast a _Tarantallegra_ that Mulciber tried to dodge, but was shaking too hard to.

Immediately, his legs started jerking in wild movements, and Mulciber desperately tried to keep his balance as Regulus watched. It wasn't enough.

He gave a slight nod to Evan, who immediately sprang into action. "Aw, Mulciber, need some help? Here." He conjured a blindfold onto Mulciber, who began grasp at it with fear, now blinded and flailing in a frenzy.

With that cue, all the other boys began to cast jinxes—light ones, like stinging jinxes, and Mulciber fell to the ground in desperation, not knowing which side to protect himself from, since they were coming at him from all sides. They knew not to hit his face though, only his body so no suspicion would be raised.

"Stop, stop!" He shrieked, "I'm sorry, please, please! Just stop, I'm sorry!" He wrapped his arms around his head in a fetal position and Regulus felt a glimmer of satisfaction at seeing him like that.

 _That's right,_ he thought maliciously, _just cower on the ground like the nothing you are._

Disgust and loathing surged in Regulus as he stared down at Mulciber.

Because looking at Mulciber reminded Regulus of himself.

Against his will, his mind merged the present with the past, and he saw himself, crouched on the floor with fear and terror. Bile rose in his throat but he pushed it down, trying to push away all the memories that rose with his flashback.

 _I'm sorry! Mum, please. I didn't mean it—_

 _How dare you disgrace this family! And in front of the Malfoys no less! Crucio!_

 _Mum, stop! Reg didn't do anything wrong; it was accident—mum!_

Regulus choked, and he suddenly felt as if he'd been punched in the gut; the air sucked out of him. His five year old self lingered before his eyes, screaming and crying and begging.

Disgusting.

He'd been so pathetic. He promised himself he'd never be like that again, losing control of himself.

It'd also been the day Sirius had started to hate their family. He smothered the longing for the days when everything had been easier. When Sirius had been his older brother.

Sirius had never cried, not once, when their mum had tortured him for getting into Gryffindor. Not when he'd come back last summer and refused to do anything their mum had told him to do. He never cried.

Regulus had wanted to be like his older brother when he was younger. Now he didn't know what he wanted to be anymore. Sirius rejected the Black family name, but Regulus could never reject his family. They were _family_.

He couldn't help the bitterness rising at the thought that Sirius had abandoned him and left him to the clutches of their mum.

But Regulus was perfect. He was the perfect son, always following the wishes of Walburga.

And he knew that Sirius hated him for that.

All his negative emotions that'd been crammed into a jar with the lid slammed on exploded into his hexes. With each spell, he felt a freedom, a power he'd never felt before. It was almost intoxicating. His blood pumped with adrenaline and something wild and thirsting that he couldn't explain. His mind whirled and he reveled in the control and freedom he had.

Years, _years_ of tightly controlled perfection came crashing and tumbling out into his wand. It was refreshing and his body felt so _light_.

A crazed grin started to form on his face—there was so much power, so much _freedom_ —

A hand fell onto his shoulder in a vice-like grip. He paused, jolted out of his whirlwind of magic, and everything—all the power, the freedom—it vanished.

Scowling, he turned to see the person who'd stopped him. Evans looked back at him with stormy eyes; full of something unreadable. She shook her head, and he was about to throw her hand off when she nodded towards Mulciber's form.

He wasn't moving.

" _Shit_." He said hoarsely. The boys around him stared at him with a mixture of awe and… fear?

"Don't worry," Evans said coolly, "he's not dead. Just knocked out." She muttered an _Enervate_ and Mulciber's eyes shot open. But besides that, he didn't move, save for the shaking of his body.

 _Shit._ He didn't know what was happening anymore. His whole life was falling apart by the seams, right in front of his eyes. It was everything compiling into one thing, and bursting apart.

Shakily, he lowered his arm, and schooled his features into a formless expression.

He wasn't going to regret what he did—he couldn't. Regret wasn't something allowed in his life.

A sudden desire to say something to Evans came over him—he didn't know what he was going to say but he turned anyway. She'd disappeared.

He looked back again and saw her approaching Mulciber.

He wasn't going to regret. He was Regulus Black, and Blacks could only live with perfection.

* * *

 _Fuck. What did I get myself into?_

Zinnia stared at the young boy. He hadn't hit puberty yet—she could still see baby fat rounding out his cheeks; his body small and scrawny.

He was just a child.

They all were (except her). So what were they doing? These kind of things, they weren't for children. They were for adults; soldiers.

This type of bullying, it just wasn't right. She knew that, after this, Mulciber would never be the same. Being subjected to this was almost like torture—she'd read about these methods before.

Hooding. It was one of the torture methods only used on captured enemies. But—but—

It didn't matter; couldn't matter, because he'd hurt Emily and if she did this, no one would ever dare touch the people she cared about again. She was protecting the future.

(Was she?)

Mulciber had been a prominent Death Eater in the previous timeline—and she could possibly be changing things and saving lives by doing this. She wouldn't know the exact effect until it happened, but she was willing to take that risk.

Besides, they weren't hurting him too badly. Just some psychological damage to scare him off and remove him from the bigger picture.

But _fuck,_ Regulus was insane. The way he'd been back there—all viciousness and violence and anger—she'd thought he was going to cut her hand off when she tried to stop him.

But she was a hypocrite. She'd been watching, and hadn't done anything. And what was done was done. She wasn't going to regret it. (Right?)

So she took a deep breath, turning herself into something harder than stone; untouchable and unaffected. She was not Zinnia Evans, not who she was in her past life. She was less than that, yet more. She was unforgiving, unrelenting; she was following the path to the future and protecting the ones who lived in the light.

(And so the downwards spiral began.)

Pushing past the ring of people surrounding Mulciber's prone form, she walked until she was standing right above his body, gripping his wand like a trophy.

She became nothing more than a form made up of tightly coiled anger and malicious cruelty. To protect the ones she loved.

A silent breath, and then—

"Mulciber." Her voice was the bitter, merciless cold of a winter storm. "If you even think about trying to get revenge on my sister, I'll know. And you'll wish you were dead, because Crucio isn't the only torture spell and I can get… creative." Zinnia sneered cruelly in his face, holding out his wand out to him like someone taunting a prisoner with a key.

Mulciber lay in a sniveling mess on the ground, too terrified to even look up. She made a sound of disgust and dropped his wand on the ground next to him.

He didn't even move to pick it up.

"Well, I'm off. He'll be okay. Looks like Mulciber had a rough night after accidentally tripping down the stairs, didn't he?" Zinnia shoved her hands in her robe pockets and walked away from the group, her shoes thumping quietly on the cold marble like heartbeats.

There was absolute silence as she left, and before she disappeared around the corner, she looked back just once. Regulus locked eyes with her, and she gave a bloodthirsty smirk, noting the way he appraised her. There was a hint of respect in his eyes as she broke eye contact.

And then she was gone, leaving the ugly scene behind her as if nothing had ever happened.

(What had happened?) But the impenetrable layer melted away and she was Zinnia Evans again—or as close as she could be to Zinnia Evans.

As she snuck into the girls dorms and settled into bed, Emily sat up from her own bed to look at her.

"You were with Mulciber, weren't you?" Her eyes glinted solemnly in the soft moonlight, casting an eerie glow on her. She looked as if she could see everything that had built and ruined Zinnia Evans.

"Yeah." Zinnia didn't elaborate and Emily didn't move or acknowledge the answer.

Finally, after an unreadable stare, Emily blinked. "Okay."

And that was that. The two went to bed, leaving a heavy mess of words left unspoken. But somehow, it was okay, because they were friends and that was what friends did. Especially friends in Slytherin—they supported each other no matter what, and Emily and Zinnia knew that. So they went to sleep, each with turbulent hearts.

The next day, Zinnia felt… different. She couldn't explain it, but something had changed inside of her. Though she'd always been an adult, she somehow felt as if she'd lost her innocence. It was a strange feeling; to be mature while losing something you never had.

But she'd done something she could never come back from last night, and she didn't know how to feel about that. Part of her didn't regret it at all, but the other part of her knew she'd just ruined someone's life. Mulciber would never be the same.

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and it hurt. It tore at a part of her that she thought had been gone, and she was ripped to shreds.

Who was she?

"Hey." Emily put a gentle hand on Zinnia's shoulder, interrupting her internal torment. "You okay?"

Zinnia flinched at the physical contact but quickly composed herself. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" She reached for a roll and some butter.

Emily didn't look convinced, but she let it go, opting to stare unnervingly at Zinnia for the rest of breakfast. Reyna just clapped Zinnia on the back as hard as she could—it stung, shit, who knew Reyna could hit so hard?—and started chattering about a cute boy she'd seen in the library.

Zinnia rolled her eyes when Reyna started wondering if she could get a fifth year to go out with her, and though she didn't feel any better than before, it was almost like everything would be okay. She had people who cared about her (which kind of freaked her out but made her insanely happy) and as long as they were with her, she'd be as close as she could be to okay.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Zinnia shoved last night's events into the darkest depths of her mind, unwilling to dwell on them further. She just wanted everything to be normal again.

"Hey!" Emily looked excited as she caught up to Zinnia while walking to class, "Quidditch tryouts are today. Rey's trying out, and you were really good at practice. I think you should too."

Zinnia paused and considered it. If she even managed to get in, the practices would take away a lot of her precious time spent studying more important subjects, like Runes. But Quidditch was something she truly enjoyed, and she didn't want to forget the feeling of soaring through the air, the wind stinging against her face; the sharp pride she felt after successfully hitting a Bludger.

"I'll think about it."

Emily tugged on her arm to slow down her pace. "You don't have time to think about it! Tryouts are after our next class."

They walked into Charms and Zinnia's eyes couldn't help but linger on Mulciber, who was huddled in a corner all by himself. She wanted to wince, but she ignored the stab of guilt and turned towards the front.

She could feel Emily's eyes on her.

The rest of the class passed in a daze, and Emily dragged her to the Quidditch field with Reyna. A bunch of Slytherins had gathered at the field and were waiting with their brooms. Zinnia opened her mouth to mention that she didn't have a broom but Emily shoved hers into her hand.

Zinnia blinked in surprise. It was the newest model. "Thanks."

Emily laughed. "My parents gave it to me, even though they know I don't like playing Quidditch. You can use it for as long as you need."

Zinnia flashed her a grateful smile and joined Reyna in the field, where they waited with the rest of the people trying out. Emily went to the stands to cheer them on.

To her not-surprise, she saw Regulus with his usual group of friends. He gave her a slight nod of acknowledgement—a huge change—when they locked eyes and Evan gave her a wave.

That was pretty much the extent of the people she was well-acquainted with in Slytherin, besides Emily, Reyna, and Severus.

Reyna gave a confident grin as they called the group of Chasers. "I'd tell you to wish me luck, but I don't need it."

Zinnia gave her a lazy smirk. "Go get 'em."

She watched as Reyna kicked all the other competitor's arses and solidly took a Chaser's position.

Reyna flashed her a cocky grin and gave her a challenging stare as Reyna made her way to the stands.

The captain, Whitmore, called the group of Beaters, and Zinnia was a bit intimidated to see a bunch of burly guys stepping up.

Well, it didn't matter because she'd beat them—or at least try. She glanced at Evan, who was next to her, clutching his broom with a bit trepidation.

"Good luck." She murmured. He probably didn't have anything to worry about—seeing as how he was a Rosier and had been on a broom since he was two.

He gave her a slight smile of gratitude. "You too."

She was glad that their relationship was comfortable and amicable—after she'd been accepted as an association of the Rosiers, they'd talked and interacted a lot more, and she was relieved that she had at least one ally in the Slytherin's male first year group.

The whistle sounded, and the first boy shot into the air, readying his bat. He did pretty decently, but Zinnia could tell that he didn't have much skill in flying compared to whacking the Bludgers.

The rest of the boys went until it was just her. Evan had done extremely well and was already accepted onto the team. There was only one spot left, but Zinnia had a feeling Whitmore was going to give it to Jordan Grunge, a muscly third year.

Still, when the whistle sounded, she resolved to try her best—she really, really wanted to overcome the sexism in Quidditch, and flying was fun.

The wind whistled through her hair and she gripped the beater's bat tightly, ready for the Bludgers to come flying at her. One by one, they shot out of seemingly nowhere with frightening speed, and she barely managed to hit the first one before catching the second with a crack of her bat.

A shot of exhilaration ran through her, and she grinned widely as she beat back all of the Bludgers, trying to shoot them into strategic positions. Each hit gave her a feeling of strength and satisfaction that she couldn't get from anything else. It was amazing.

By the time her tryout ended, she'd managed to hit all of the Bludgers except one, and she landed on the ground, panting for breath.

Whitmore looked her in the eye. "Good job." He said it a bit grudgingly, but Zinnia couldn't help the twinge of pride she felt when he complimented her.

"Unfortunately, the Beater spots are filled, so you'll be our reserve Beater. That okay?"

Zinnia nodded enthusiastically, still flushed and pumped with adrenaline from her tryout.

"Okay, you're on the team." He shook her hand firmly, and turned to try out the last group, the Seekers.

Zinnia felt a glimmer of respect for him—he hadn't ostracized her because of her status as a Muggleborn, and because she was a girl. He'd acknowledged her skill, and Zinnia could tell he was going to be a good captain.

She headed towards the stands where Emily and Reyna were waiting, giving Evan a "congrats" as she passed him by.

"Hey, good job!" Emily cheered, as she tiredly made her way to where she and Reyna were sitting. "You made it onto the team! I told you you would."

"Thanks. I'm only a sub though."

"Who cares? You beat all those guys. I think that's a celebration in itself."

Zinnia shrugged modestly and turned to Reyna. "Congrats to you too."

Reyna threw her hands behind her head nonchalantly. "I knew I'd make it. But you did it; so congrats to you too."

Zinnia let out a breath of amusement. "Thanks."

"Rey, it's Black's turn." Emily pointed towards the field.

"Really? Where?" Reyna leaned forward, trying to catch a view of her "future fiancé".

They all watched as Regulus calmly and skillfully caught the Snitch on his first try in just under fifteen minutes.

"Not bad." Admitted Emily.

"He'll be on the team for sure." Reyna said with pride, like he was already her boyfriend.

Zinnia snorted and watched the rest of the tryouts disinterestedly.

In the end, Regulus did make the team—though Zinnia wasn't sure how much his last name had added into the factors. But he was talented, she'd give him that. Though his skills seemed to be more of years of practice than innate ability, he was good at what he did.

Reyna chattered on about Quidditch and her plans for future games as they made their way to the library to study.

It was a long day, and by the time dinner was over, Zinnia was more than ready to sleep.

She trudged up the stairs, feeling weary both physically and emotionally.

Mulciber had barely shown up for lunch and dinner, and she hadn't seen him for the rest of the day after Charms.

Shaking her head, she threw away all thoughts of Mulciber and threw herself on her bed. What was done was done. She would just have to keep telling herself that until she believed it. And part of her already did.

She was just about to drift off the sleep when she heard the door creak. She didn't bother looking up, knowing it was either Reyna or Emily.

A voice echoed quietly through the room.

"Zinnia. We need to talk."

* * *

 **A/N: I changed the rating to M because I'm pretty sure I've been using too many curse words for a T rated story, and the whole Mulciber scene was slightly violent. The story will also get darker from here on. I'm not trying to portray Regulus and the others as bad people—they've become what their situations demanded of them. (But they're not exactly good either).**

 **Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who favorited and followed. And thank you to Ceti H. Black, DarkDust27, lizy2000, ReaderWorm101, ThisUsernameIsIndecisive, Goldspark1, PrincessBlonde, shugokage, Andy the willow tree, FleurSuoh, Vatsyayana69, Peppei, Igneous321, NinjaDemonAngel, KyuubiNoPuma, laelruin, ThePhantomismyLove, Guest (1), Guest (2), and Guest (3) for reviewing!**

 **As usual, thanks for reading and let me know if you have any questions of comments.**

 **Reply to guest reviews:**

 **Guest (1): Haha, thanks! I don't have any pairings planned yet, so I don't know if it'll be Regulus/Zinnia. But I'm focusing on Regulus because his character is interesting.**

 **Guest (2): Thank you so much!**

 **Guest (3): Thank you! I actually put an interlude before ch. 10, which is why it's confusing; sorry.**


	13. and feel the tones

Zinnia's eyes snapped open and she glanced up from her bed, at first alarmed by the masculine timbre, but relaxed when she noted its familiarity.

"Severus? How did you get in here? I thought the dorms were inaccessible to the opposite gender." She felt slightly alarmed that a male could get into her room so easily.

"We live in _Slytherin_ dorms." He deadpanned, like it explained everything.

Zinnia nearly snorted. Leave it to Severus to find all the loopholes. "Well? What did you want to talk about?"

He padded over and sat down on her bed with a sense of ease that came from their long years of friendship. She quickly sat up when she saw his serious—well, more serious than usual—face, knowing that he wasn't here just for something like discussion about the weather.

"Did you lock and silence the doors?" Zinnia knew this was going to be a private conversation and she didn't think Severus wanted anyone eavesdropping.

"Of course." He looked insulted by the question. Zinnia rolled her eyes.

"So?" She prompted, grabbing a pillow and tugging it onto her lap.

"It's about the… incident. With Mulciber." Severus clarified.

Zinnia raised an eyebrow and waited. This wasn't a subject she really wanted to delve into, but it was _Severus,_ and there was no way she could avoid this.

He paused for a moment, before smirking with approval. "Well, I have to say, it was a job well done. Less people have been bothering you, right?" She gave a nod of confirmation and he continued on. "Mulciber deserved what he got, so you don't need to feel sorry about it."

She started to say something, but he cut her off with an annoyed and exasperated look. "I _know_ you're not going to listen to me but seriously, stop beating yourself up over this. Everyone _knows_ Mulciber's a right bastard, and he's really backed off. Besides," Severus directed the conversation towards Lily, the one subject they always agreed on, "now that you're starting to build up a reputation, people won't dare bother Lily. So _stop_ moping around."

She blinked at him, surprised by his perception. It was a bit weird to think, but he knew her too well. "Alright." It was spoken in a tired, quiet tone. Zinnia agreed with Severus, but she didn't think they'd had to go to such extremes for a twelve year old boy. This whole event was just something that she wanted to forget about.

Suddenly, she realized that Lily should have heard about the incident by now, but Lily hadn't made any indication that she had. "Wait, does Lily know about what happened?"

"No, of course not." Severus shook his head, "You know that rumors only stay in Slytherin, so how would she know? And with Black's involvement—the whole thing'll be under tight lock. Only the rumors that we want to get out will get out."

"Thank goodness." She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

Severus watched her carefully. "But the whole problem is that Black was involved. Both his and Mulciber's families are part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. Which means broken alliances. The Blacks and Mulcibers have been allies for decades, but I bet you anything Mulciber's already ratted Black out to his parents. And you know how it'll go from there."

Zinnia rolled her eyes. "Did you forget that I only know the bare basics about Pureblood traditions? Not everyone took their mum's maiden name and got inducted into the Pureblood groups like you."

" _I was getting there_." Severus said with irritation. "And the Blacks are obviously the family with more power here, so they'll be blacklisting the Mulcibers off of everything, and of course vice versa. So you'll never see them at the same parties, or anything like that. It'll be sort of like a public declaration except only the Sacred Twenty-Eight will get the big news and everyone will have to hear the rest passed down like rumors."

Oh, great. Had she just fucked up a part of the timeline that she should've preserved? Were the Mulcibers even allies with the Blacks in the original timeline? Hopefully this wouldn't have too much of a damaging effect. But the Mulcibers hadn't played too much of a role in the original timeline, so who knows? Maybe nothing would happen. (A girl could dream.)

"So it's the parents that are cleaning up their children's spats." Zinnia snorted dryly.

"Pretty much." Severus agreed, "And this changes the whole Slytherin dynamic. No one's going to want to be allied with Mulciber from now on; the Blacks are the stronger family and _no one_ wants to piss them off. Fitzroy, Gordon, and I are repositioning our alliances."

Zinnia narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean, you, Wilkes, and Avery are _repositioning your alliances_?" The implication was pretty clear—Severus had at one time been allied with Mulciber.

"Look," began Severus awkwardly, "just because we were allied with Mulciber doesn't mean—"

" _Merlin,_ Severus," Zinnia interrupted, "everyone knows that Mulciber's a die-hard Muggleborn hater. And you're _best friends_ with Lily."

"I know." Severus groaned, "That's why I allied with him in the first place. So he wouldn't attack Lily."

Zinnia really, really wanted to smack her forehead. "So who else was in this alliance?" She sighed.

"Just the three of us. Plus Evan." He added the last part like an afterthought.

" _What_." _Evan_ was allied with Mulciber? She was surprised Arin had let him associate with Mulciber at all. Why the hell did Evan join in on the attack if he was allied with Mulciber? Dammit, she didn't know Evan as well as she thought she did.

Though in retrospect, they didn't really talk that much, let alone have introspective discussions. They had more of a comfortable relationship bordering on polite, but it was comfortable nonetheless. And that was fine with Zinnia. Man, she was going to have to have a talk with him too. And since when were Severus and Evan all buddy-buddy? Why were these damn Slytherins so hard to keep up with?

"It wasn't much of a group thing, you know." Severus tried to salvage the conversation, " _Really._ We barely even interacted with Mulciber. It was more of a tentative alliance. If you and Black hadn't attacked we probably would've been closer, but we aren't, so stop freaking out." He rolled his eyes, "Stop freaking out about everything; you're acting like Slughorn when he loses his crystalized pineapple."

Zinnia averted her eyes guiltily.

Severus looked at her incredulously. "Wait, that was _you_?" He grinned gleefully, "That's bloody _brilliant_. Slughorn was so scared during our class I thought he was going to shit himself right then and there."

"He deserved it." Zinnia grumbled, "I was just getting him back for the incident in Potions. And the pineapple was _delicious_." She gave a savage smirk.

"Anyway," continued Zinnia, "what are you going to do?" Now that she was starting to gain more of a reputation, she didn't have to limit her public interactions with Severus as much, although they still acted like they weren't friends. But if he was changing up his alliances, his friend group could just as easily affect hers.

Slytherin was basically an underground network of intertwining alliances and groups that often became overly complex.

Basically, everyone in Slytherin respected each other, and they all had each other's backs as a House. (With the sole exception of Zinnia, although she was working on it.) But they weren't all _friends_. Sure, mostly everyone knew each other, but it could get confusing where each student stood and where their ideals lay.

The only people Zinnia was sure of were the pro-Voldemort supporters, and that was because they were so vehemently pro-Voldemort it hard _not_ to notice on which side they stood.

But everyone was somehow connected to each other—whether it was indirectly or directly.

For example, Zinnia was in a close friend group with Reyna and Emily. They knew where each other stood, and they were close enough to share personal information. But Zinnia was also part of Severus' group—albeit secretly—and was then by default allied with Avery, Wilkes, and Evan. But she was already allied with the Rosiers, which made her allies with Evan and Arin's groups. And Evan was in Regulus' group as well, which made her (kind of) allies with Regulus and his group.

And it only went on from there. Emily and Reyna were allied with other groups as well, which also made Zinnia privy to that group's information.

So everyone knew each other one way or another (also through rumors), though they weren't all friends. Everyone belonged to a main group that they were close with, and were only allies or acquaintances with everyone else.

But this whole system meant that one person could be in five groups and would then reap the benefits of each one, gaining more information than another who was only in two groups.

The whole thing was just so _Slytherin_. There was a whole shitload of secrecy, subtle power struggles, and complicated alliances that led to something so confusing that Zinnia didn't even want to try and figure it out.

And then when you added family alliances and standings and a _whole damn war_ to the mix—well, let's just say that politics and Slytherins were not fun.

If you wanted to survive the war, you'd have to be "in" with as many people as possible, and that was something Zinnia was decidedly not good at. Her shitty intrapersonal skills and status as a Muggleborn had left her near the bottom of the social pyramid.

Thankfully, her association with the Rosiers and her now building reputation was raising her status, but still, she was going to need a lot of time to build up her connections.

(Well, she had Emily and Reyna, who were practically social butterflies, so it wasn't like she was completely helpless.)

"Don't worry." Severus said exasperatedly, "I'm obviously switching my alliances to favor Black, and nothing will happen, really." He tried to reassure Zinnia at her disbelieving look. "No one really knew that I was allied with Mulciber, anyway. It was pretty newly formed. Besides, even _you_ didn't know."

"You underestimate the power of the rumor mill." Zinnia said flatly.

"I _never_ underestimate anything." He smirked wickedly, "I always have something up my sleeve." Zinnia snorted and he pointedly rolled his eyes. "And no, it isn't my wand. Although I do have some spells that I'm working on."

At this, Zinnia's interest was piqued. Severus was always coming up with good spells and potions, and they were fucking _nasty_. They were good to have on hand—you could never be too careful in Slytherin, especially with Voldemort's rise.

Severus noticed her interest and grinned excitedly. "It's called _Levicorpus_." He went on to explain the workings of the spell and Zinnia listened, enraptured by his pure genius.

Of course, she wasn't so awed by his skill that she couldn't add a critique here and there. That was why the two of them and Lily could spend so many hours in the Room of Requirement after all; they always were fixing and improving on each other's ideas.

In fact, just the other day, Lily had helped Zinnia fix one of the warding runes she'd been working on for weeks, and the change Lily had added was so inventive that Zinnia was surprised she hadn't taken up Runes herself.

She and Severus spent the rest of the night discussing spells before the spell Severus had cast went off, signaling that Emily and Reyna were back.

"Well," Severus studied her with serious eyes, "I'll see you around." Zinnia knew he wanted to say something else, but he left without another word.

She sighed and flopped onto her bed when he left, sighing wearily. It had been a long day, and she just really wanted to sleep.

Emily and Reyna piled into the room just as she was falling asleep and Zinnia groaned, annoyed by the distraction.

"Sorry." Whispered Emily, and she flashed her an apologetic grin before dimming the lights and shushing Reyna.

Zinnia rolled onto her side and smiled to herself. It was nice to have friends.

* * *

Even after Zinnia's talk with Severus, she still didn't feel better about what she'd done to Mulciber. In fact, her guilt was only getting worse.

Every time she thought she could begin to forget, she saw Mulciber's pale, trembling face. Everywhere she looked, his wide, terrified eyes looked back. It haunted her dreams with the unrelenting force of a blazing fire; uncontrolled and consuming. He was in her dreams and when she woke up, he was in her life.

Mulciber no longer sat in the middle of a group of friends. He sat in each class alone in the corner, huddled behind the shadows. He never spoke unless spoken to, and he now waited for someone else to enter the Common Room before he dared to go in.

He was friendless, beaten, and alone.

Zinnia would never forget what she had done, but she _didn't regret it_.

Not at all—she wouldn't regret what she had done; everything, everything was for the future.

But it didn't mean that she couldn't hate herself.

She had no regrets but she loathed every inch of her being.

She was disgusting—she was a monster for ruining someone's life. Mulciber was a constant reminder of her self-hatred, and she would just have to learn to live with hating herself.

It was a deep hate that burrowed into her heart and etched a permanent scar.

But she was already scarred—and this was one more to live with.

So she learned to hate herself and pretend that everything was the same; that her life was still normal. She went through her daily routines and bore the burden because she knew—she knew—

Nothing would ever be normal again.

* * *

The weeks passed in blurs, and Zinnia could just barely balance everything that was going on in her life, her classes, and Quidditch.

She hadn't realized how distracted she'd become until Arin had approached her one day two weeks before finals and had asked her why she hadn't shown up at the time they'd agreed on for the Invisibility rune he was doing for his final.

"Oh shit," She groaned, "I completely forgot. I'm really sorry."

Arin shrugged. "Yeah, I kinda guessed." He said dryly.

Zinnia was feeling even more like shit and was really hoping this hadn't done anything to damage her association with the Rosiers. Evan and Arin were great people, but she felt like she was walking on eggshells around them sometimes, trying not to offend their family and get cut off as an association.

"It's okay. Do you have time to work on it now?" He tilted his head and met her eyes with a stare that unnerved her.

It was the kind of stare that bore through your soul, like Arin could see all of Zinnia's weaknesses and self-hatred that she wanted to keep hidden.

"Er, yeah." She replied, slightly perturbed.

Arin grinned, a whole 180 degree turn from the way he'd been acting before. "Great! Let me get my books and we'll do it right now."

Zinnia wouldn't be lying when she said that almost everyone in Slytherin was terrified of Arin.

They settled down, and while Arin organized his books and papers, she stared absentmindedly off to the side.

Lily and Severus were gone at Hogsmeade—they'd promised to bring her something back, but she couldn't help but feel jealous.

She didn't want to stay stuffed in this school all the time, and from all the stories they'd told, Hogsmeade sounded amazing. They always brought back the best sweets or new supplies that Zinnia wanted to go see for herself at the store.

It was really annoying sometimes, being one year younger than them. She couldn't help but feel a sting of bitter loneliness at times, but she pushed it down and focused her attention onto the Invisibility rune.

Getting worked up about her own insecurities wasn't something that she had time for.

Arin cast her a sidelong look. "You ready to work?"

Zinnia blinked, bringing her attention back to the situation at the present. "Yeah."

They pored over the Runes text he'd found in the library and were sketching a preliminary draft of the rune, although they hadn't quite fit it together yet.

Because many runes were of Nordic descent, they were limited to the runes that were already created and the ones described in the textbook. But it was such an obscure subject that no one really knew the full details of runes—sure, there were theories, but most of them weren't widely accepted by the Wizarding community.

Personally, Zinnia liked runes a lot better than charms, mostly because runes had the simple ability of being inscribed or etched onto surfaces permanently.

With that, there was a possibility of creating clothing that were impervious to most dangerous curses and hexes—as long as the logistics were coordinated correctly. After all, one wrong line and you could blow yourself up. It wasn't pretty.

Which was why the Ancient Runes class didn't allow its students to write out the runes with their wands—only ink, and no magic was allowed to touch the paper.

So far, Arin and Zinnia had only dared to test out the Fire rune they'd created, and it had only created a small flame that didn't seem very effective.

(Zinnia was secretly working on it because it had high potential for becoming a Fiendfyre rune.)

Runes were highly unpredictable if you didn't understand every single line drawn, and literally everything made an effect and had a purpose.

Drew the rune's line with a shaky hand and accidentally created a small squiggle? You were fucked.

And that was why no one really wanted to learn runes—they weren't for wizards who were used to the instantaneous abilities of spells or potions. Runes were on a whole different level.

Working out an Invisibility rune would take forever, but they were already halfway there, so she wasn't going to give up now.

"What if we changed the cipher rune to a bind rune one coupled with the mannaz rune? We'd need a barrier rune though, since the bind rune could possibly overpower or negate the mannaz one." Arin murmured, sifting through the runic alphabet and the textbook he was holding.

Zinnia frowned. Rune were complicated enough that by changing one rune, you could change the whole nature of the combined.

"Okay, but for a barrier rune, we'd need something strong enough to hold onto the bind rune and the mannaz rune."

There were plenty of runes strong enough to act as a barrier rune, but the issue was just finding one that correlated with the rune you were trying to create.

Zinnia and Arin ended up working and researching through the night and finally, finally reached a breakthrough at around 4 AM when Zinnia nearly fell asleep drawing a rune and instead created another one.

It was the weirdest way to make a discovery, but the rune worked, so hey, who was complaining?

(And he ended up getting an O on his final and she learned a new rune, so all was well.)

* * *

Winter break came like a snowstorm, both literally and figuratively. It crept up on Zinnia and before she knew it, she was on a train going back home for the holidays.

The scary thing was, she'd almost forgotten about the holidays, as she had been so overwhelmed by everything.

She really needed to get her shit together. If she couldn't get through this, how was she going to get through the future?

But leaving for the holidays was such an aching relief that she wanted to sob when she saw her home.

Home. She was finally home.

The house was quietly familiar in a "smelling a good food you haven't smelt for years" kind of way.

Everything was where it had been the last time she'd seen it—but it was still somehow almost disorienting.

Like everything was new and unfamiliar when she knew, instinctively, where everything was.

It was home, and she had missed it more than she'd known.

She plopped onto her bed, swearing that she wasn't going to do anything this holiday but relax and sleep.

Of course, it never worked out that way, but whatever. Zinnia was going to pretend this holiday was actually going to be a holiday instead of an extra two weeks spent on obsessing over runes and new spells, which she was going to end up doing.

Lily set all of her things on the ground with a thump and joined Zinnia to laze around on their beds.

Petunia still wasn't home—she was at a friend's house—but dinner didn't start until another two hours, so they had time to nap and do nothing.

The Princes would also be coming over for dinner later, so Lily and Zinnia were just waiting for Severus to come over.

"Hey," Lily started, her voice soft and worried, "How come you're always so tired now? You look—well, not so great."

Zinnia snorted bitterly. "You mean I look like shit?"

"Or that." Lily agreed smoothly. She was spread out on her back. Her legs dangled off the side of the bed, her head pointed towards Zinnia.

Zinnia turned on her side to face her sister. "Everything's just really tiring, I guess. There's a lot to do, and the war isn't really letting up. It's just getting worse but everyone's trying to ignore it, even though Sarah Runhold's dad was just attacked a few weeks ago."

It had been an attack purely out of spite—the Runholds were prominent Ministry figures, and Voldemort really knew how to hit it where it hurt.

Lily's eyes darkened, but they shone with a strength that Zinnia wished she had. "I know. Everyone wants to pretend it isn't happening, but it is, isn't it." She face Zinnia with a grim determination she'd never seen on her older sister before—it was a look far too old for her thirteen years. (Though Lily was turning fourteen in January.)

"It is." Zinnia simply said, letting the implications of it hang between them.

There was a long silence of contemplation filled with worries for their futures.

It was heavy and dark, and it was something that Zinnia didn't want for Lily.

"No one is going to die." Lily suddenly said fiercely, her words filled with a conviction that Zinnia couldn't understand.

People were going to die, and that was that. It was a war, and that was what happened during wars. Frankly, Zinnia wouldn't be surprised if she ended up dead herself. But it'd all be worth it if Lily and Severus survived. They had to.

But she didn't want to shatter Lily's ideals right now—not when she was still a young girl, far away from the burdensome cusp of maturity, still looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses.

She couldn't break it for her. Not now. But she would, when the deaths would be nearing the lives of the students of Hogwarts, when Voldemort was nearing the height of his power.

She wanted to let Lily live in her dreams while she could. There was no point in making Lily as broken as she was.

(But she knew, knew that Lily would never break. Because she was _Lily_ , and Lily wouldn't break. She was too strong for that.)

Zinnia didn't know how long the two of them lay there until Lily finally said, "You do know that Slytherin lost to Gryffindor during the most recent Quidditch match, right? That means you owe me five Knuts."

"Damn it." Zinnia groaned, "I was hoping you'd forget about that." And Lily burst out laughing.

(She hoped, hoped with every inch of her being that everything would be fine.)

(It really wasn't going to be.)

* * *

Petunia hated Lily. She hated the way her long, red hair shone in the light and reflected fire. She hated her pale, smooth skin. She hated her bright, emerald eyes that sparkled and glowed with strength. She hated how she had started to grow into her curves, how her clothes fit around her body with a naturalness that contrasted Petunia's thin, unattractive body. She hated that Lily was two years younger than her but was still somehow always more beautiful, more intelligent. But most of all, she hated herself.

She hated Lily, but she hated herself even more.

Petunia loved Lily. She loved the way they used to take turns braiding each other's hair, and she loved the way her long, red hair flowed over her shoulders. She loved the way they used to get fake matching tattoos with different colors. She loved the way her eyes would darken with fierceness whenever she was defending her. She loved the way they used to go shopping together and help each other choose the right outfits. She loved that Lily was her younger sister, and that she was an older sister. But most of all, she loved that Lily loved her.

Lily loved her, but Petunia did not love herself.

But, she was beginning to think, maybe Lily's love was enough.

She ended up buying Lily a new dress and Zinnia a new book for Christmas.

The look on their faces was more than enough to compensate for her now pitifully thin wallet.

(After all, she'd pretty much just given them socks in all their previous years. This was something new, a change, and Petunia was more than willing to embrace it.)

If someone asked her why she'd suddenly changed her mind, she wouldn't know what to say.

She was a fifteen year old girl, and she just missed her sisters. The house could get unbearably empty when they were gone, and she always got the feeling that something was missing.

And really, Petunia did love Lily and Zinnia.

They were different—they were _magic_ , and she would always hate them for that, but she loved them more for being her sisters.

And she wanted her sisters back. She wanted to write letters to them and get replies from that stupid owl that always pecked at the kitchen counter, she wanted to giggle over all her crushes with them, she wanted to get into fights and make up with them; she wanted to be a _sister_. But most of all, she decided that it was time to be an older sister.

She wouldn't have to be jealous of all her friends and their siblings, and even though she'd always feel like the odd one out, she didn't have to be.

She was Petunia Evans, and she wanted to be an Evans.

She had all of her family's love, and maybe, that was all she needed.

It was the first step, and she was taking it.

* * *

Zinnia didn't know what the fuck was up with Petunia, but she liked it.

For some reason, Petunia had decided that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life hating them, and had actually gotten them decent birthday presents for once.

It was weird and it was awkward, but Lily was so overjoyed that she'd tackled Petunia to the ground in a hug.

There had been no apologies, but somehow, they got it. Zinnia knew how badly Lily had missed her sister, and well, even though things would be rough, they were starting in the right direction.

Petunia still had flashes of ugly envy and bitterness in her eyes whenever Lily did a lot better than her or had the spotlight as the star child, but she never really acted on it. And Lily always did her best to draw Petunia into the spotlight as well, reassuring her that everyone loved her and appreciated her.

And Zinnia, well, her job was basically to comfort Petunia in her times of jealousy. They were both the "crappy grades" siblings of the family, and that had given them a sort of bond that Lily couldn't create with them.

It was funny, really, having Petunia bond with her over their shitty grades. But Zinnia always made sure that Petunia never let her jealousy overcome her, and didn't create any more lingering feelings of hatred that could fester while the other two were away.

Having Petunia slowly integrate herself into their lives was strange, to say the least, but it wasn't unwelcome.

They were stiff and awkwardly polite for the first few days, but it slowly melted into the familiarity they'd had when they were kids.

The only thing that didn't change was Petunia's intense dislike of Severus, and she really didn't change her attitude towards him, no matter how much Lily begged and tried to mediate.

Zinnia had to admit, though, it was pretty hilarious to watch a pair of young teenagers exchanging insults and trying to outdo each other with the most vicious words.

* * *

They only had a few more days before they had to go back to Hogwarts, and Zinnia knew Lily was looking forward to visiting Diagon Alley.

They'd convinced their mum to let them go with Petunia for a few hours—Julie would provide the transportation, and Lily, Petunia, and Zinnia would be free to explore and shop for a few hours. (Honestly though, Zinnia knew Lily was making this trip mostly to reconcile with Petunia and become closer with her.)

"What about Sev?" Lily asked, realizing they hadn't asked Severus to come yet.

Petunia groaned loudly. "Can we not ask him? I don't want that loser around."

"Tuney!" Lily cried, but the corner of her mouth was tilted with the simple joy of being able to speak comfortably with her sister again.

Sure, the three of them still had their awkward moments, but Petunia was really making an effort and coming along. And Zinnia couldn't help but love that, because their family felt so wonderfully _complete_ again. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed having Petunia as an older sister until Petunia was actually her older sister again.

Honestly, Zinnia was terrified to lose this new Petunia, but she couldn't do anything but watch Petunia for now. Her decision to reconnect with her younger sisters had been rather abrupt and random, and Zinnia still hadn't figured out why Petunia had decided to change.

Maybe Zinnia had actually done something positive to the timeline. It would certainly be a positive boost from all the fuck ups and floundering around she'd been doing.

"Let's just go visit Sev really quick, okay?" Lily implored, putting on her best smile.

"I'm not going." Replied Petunia stubbornly, and Zinnia rolled her eyes.

"Can we just go?" Zinnia asked dryly, at the ends of her patience. Petunia's vehement hatred of Severus could get way over the top.

Lily bounded off, both disappointed and annoyed. "Fine, c'mon, Zin."

Zinnia gave Petunia a small wave and an amused yet exasperated quirk of the mouth.

When they finally reached Spinner's End, Severus was all dressed up in fancy robes that Zinnia didn't even know he'd had.

He looked like he was wearing a fugly dress, and it was the most horrible thing Zinnia had ever laid her eyes upon. It was a vomit-orange stitched with bright yellow, with some black and grey here and there.

"Merlin, what the absolute fuck are you wearing?" Was all she could say when she saw him open the door.

Lily, likewise, had no words for the absolute horror that was his clothing.

Severus flushed, the thin pallor of his face taking on an ugly color, and Zinnia was suddenly glad that Petunia wasn't here. "Shut up." He muttered unhappily, "This is a family heirloom."

Zinnia turned her head away from him. "I need bleach for my eyes, I swear. How can you even go out into public with that thing?"

Lily burst out into giggles but she tried to tone it down for Severus' sake.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." He said grumpily, "But I'm the one going over to the Malfoys."

Zinnia snapped her eyes back to Severus. " _What_?"

He smirked smugly and Lily looked at the two of them, confused.

"What's the big deal about this?" Lily asked, not completely recognizing the weight of the Malfoy name.

"The Malfoys are a highly respected family with great status in Pureblood society. Going to their house would almost be equivalent to going to the White House." Zinnia explained.

Lily raised her eyebrows, impressed. "How did you get invited? And tell us all about it when you get back!"

"I can't believe you're wearing _that_ there, though." Zinnia snickered, interrupting Severus before he could answer.

He cast her a disgruntled look and answered Lily. "I got invited because of mum, and I got to know their son, Lucius in my first year. And don't worry, I'll tell you two all about it." His eyes gleamed with repressed excitement and he stood up straighter.

Zinnia suddenly frowned, Lucius' name triggering something in her memory.

She—oh _shit_ —she'd completely forgotten about the Horcruxes. And Lucius Malfoy had one.

 _Fuck_. The Horcruxes were going to be a bitch to get rid of, and she'd _forgotten all about them until now_.

How the _fuck_ had she managed to forget about something so important? She'd been so preoccupied with planning Voldemort's demise, yet she'd forgotten the single most important thing to defeating him.

God, she was pathetic. How the fuck was she going to do this? What else was she forgetting?

Still, there shouldn't be seven at the moment, right? Voldemort had made the last three after trying to kill Harry, so there should be at least four at the present.

She grimaced internally and realized that trying to reassure herself wasn't much help when she didn't even know what exactly was out there and where the Horcruxes were.

"Wait," She told Severus, "when you go to the Malfoys, can you do a bit of, uh, _snooping_ for me?"

Severus gave her a flat look. "You want me to go into one of the most protected Pureblood houses and sneak around. Really."

"Yes?" Zinnia replied, trying to ease him into doing it.

"Are you off your rocker? What if I get caught? That could ruin whatever reputation mum and I have left. We're the last Princes; we have to make a good impression." Severus nearly exclaimed, trying to keep his agitation down.

"Okay, okay. But you know, Arin and I made an Invisibility rune that you might want to test out…" She trailed off, leaving the offer hanging.

Severus' eyes flashed with interest and his brows furrowed with deliberation.

Lily stared at Zinnia. "Are you serious? You made a rune? Zin, that's amazing! Why didn't you tell us about it earlier?"

"I forgot." She replied bluntly.

"Fine." Severus snapped abruptly, "Fine. I'll do it. Now give me that rune."

Zinnia smirked with triumph and he scowled at her.

"Alright, I want you to look for a black leather bound book. It should be a diary of the sorts, and you'll be able to tell when you see it—it has a really heavy aura; it's a product of the Dark Arts and you _shouldn't touch it_. Just let me know if you see it there." Zinnia instructed, and Severus started to look a bit apprehensive.

"I guess that shouldn't be _too_ hard." He muttered, half-sarcastically.

"Zin, what are you going to do with that book? Why are you trying to find it—it's the Dark Arts, right?" Lily asked, her voice thick with worry and distress.

"Don't worry," Zinnia said wryly, "I'm going to destroy it, not use it."

That caught both Lily and Severus' attention, but they put that conversation away for another day.

"I've got to go, just sketch the rune on this parchment. Here." Severus shoved a piece of parchment and quill towards Zinnia and she walked over to the Prince's dinner table and quickly drew the rune.

"Done." She handed the paper to him. "And thanks. For sneaking around in the Malfoy mansion."

"You'd better be thankful." He grumbled, but it was without heat.

"Is Sev going to get in trouble for underage magic?" Lily wondered, concerned.

Zinnia let out a puff of air with dry amusement. "Don't worry, the Malfoy Manor has a shitload of magic going on in it, and the Ministry is so overloaded that they don't care about what goes on in there. Besides, runes aren't spells, and they never said we couldn't use magic outside of our wands. I think."

"You could ask your mum to help you." Offered Lily, not entirely reassured by Zinnia's reply.

"I'll be fine, Lily." Sighed Severus with fond exasperation, "Stop being such a worrywart."

"I wouldn't have to be if you and Zin stopped getting into so much trouble."

Ouch. That was true though, so Zinnia wasn't going to argue.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Oh, and why did you two come over? Something happen?"

"It was nothing." Lily grinned, "Have fun! And don't spill anything on your robes. Or accidentally set something on fire."

"That was _one time_ , Lily, _one time_." Groused Severus.

Zinnia and Lily uttered their goodbyes and left to meet up with Petunia.

Now Zinnia just had to figure out how to kill Horcruxes, and that wasn't going to be easy either. She didn't know anyone who spoke Parseltongue, and she didn't speak it either, so a Basilisk fang from the Chamber of Secrets wasn't an option. And she wasn't sure if a Slytherin could get the sword of Gryffindor from the Hat.

(Fiendfyre wasn't exactly out of the question yet, she just had to figure out how to stop it.)

Oh well, hopefully she'd find something useful in Knockturn Alley.

That was where all the good stuff was, anyway.

Lily dragged Petunia through the Leaky Cauldron, only stopping briefly to greet Tom and held onto Petunia tightly, making sure she couldn't escape.

(Zinnia had a feeling Petunia didn't like the magical world only because it was something she knew she could never have.)

"Ugh, this is gonna be so weird." Petunia muttered, "Are you _sure_ I can shop here?"

"Yes, for the last time, it's _fine._ " Lily sighed exasperatedly, "Now let's _go_."

It took a whole bunch of dragging and reassuring to make Petunia go into Diagon Alley. Zinnia suspected that because Petunia had been so anti-magic for so long, she didn't really know how to react in the environment.

Lily immediately took Petunia to a wizarding clothing store, and Zinnia lingered behind them, not too interested in the newest fashion.

"Lily, can I go somewhere else?" She asked, desperately bored. She knew Lily and Petunia were going to spend forever here, and it wasn't going to be fun.

Distracted, Lily cast an absent-minded glance over her shoulder. "Sure, just meet us back at the ice cream shop."

Zinnia grinned and headed off to Gringotts to exchange the money that she had into wizarding money.

Gringotts was pretty much a monopoly, which explained why it had the power for exchanging currency—Muggle money wasn't used in the Wizarding world, but Gringotts still accepted it.

Hefting her now filled bag of coins, she headed off for Knockturn Alley. She'd been in there a few times, but hadn't ventured very far—she had been pretty scared.

It was a dank and shady place, and leering wizards lingered on the sides whenever you passed by. But she was going to have to brave it—she was going to need more supplies from there if she wanted to defeat Voldemort.

 _Do it for Lily_. She told herself, gripping her wand tightly, even though she knew she couldn't use it.

She took a deep breath, shifting into something darker, colder.

Straightening her back and squaring her shoulders, she walked confidently as she slid into the alleyway that connected to Knockturn Alley.

Witches and wizards eyed her suspiciously, but she kept her gaze in the road in front of her, ignoring the piercing stares.

A few of the stores were lined up together, but a lot of them were separated by dingy and broken down shops.

She looked through a few streets, finally settling on one that sounded promising.

The sign read _Ye Olde Curiosity Shop_ , and they had put a bunch of Dark objects at the window. Zinnia went in, and the door opened with a gust of wind.

As she walked in, the storeowner looked up from the sales area and gave her a wary look.

"What do ya want." He said, his tone guarded.

He was a short man, only a little taller than Zinnia, with curly brown hair and dark eyes. But his face was tight and watchful as he spoke.

"I'm looking for a basilisk fang."

The storeowner leaned back with surprise. "Now, whatever would'ya need that for?" He drawled.

Zinnia raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to protect your customer's privacy?"

"Yeh," He admitted, "but ya ain't a customer." Zinnia gave him a dirty look. "Ya know how I can tell?" He continued, "Because a basilisk fang is at least 200 Galleons."

Looking her up and down with an expression of faint disgust, he took in her simple and cheap robes. "Ya definitely don't got enough money." He sneered.

Shit, he was actually kind of right. 200 Galleons was around 1,000 pounds, and there was no way she had that kind of money. She only had around 30 Galleons on her right now, and that was nowhere near enough.

"You shouldn't judge a customer by their appearance." She bluffed, not letting him see her uncertainty. "And you take trades as well, don't you?" She nodded towards the sign near the door that said 'Trades Accepted'.

The corner of his curled in half a smirk. "And what makes ya think ya got something I want, lil' missy?"

Zinnia certainly didn't have any Dark objects now, but that didn't mean she couldn't get any. She knew that Eileen had some Dark artifacts stored up at her home, and she was more than willing to barter for it.

This basilisk fang was _important_. How else could she kill the Horcruxes?

"Even the slightest of people can have connections." She held his gaze evenly, not backing down.

Finally, he said, "How old are ya, girl?"

Zinnia hesitated. Was there an age limit on this stuff? But then again, all of this was illegal, so it shouldn't matter. "Twelve." She admitted.

The man grinned, his teeth glinting in the dark lighting. "If you'd lied, I would'a kicked ya out." At her confused stare, he explained, "Good liars are only good suppliers. They ain't good traders—ya never know what they gon' do."

Zinnia gave him a funny look. "Can't your dealers give you fake things?"

He let out a bark of laughter. "O'course, but they wouldn't dare." His mouth widened maliciously, "It's too easy ta track 'em down. Most of 'em are Squibs."

Pausing, he looked her up and down again. "Ya should know that."

Zinnia shrugged. "You never know who's gonna con you."

The storekeeper let out a bellyful of uproarious laughter. "That's right, lil' missy, that's right."

"Why do you have an accent?" Zinnia wondered, noting that none of the wizards she'd met had had an accent.

"'Cause I didn't grow up all fancy-like like you, lil' missy. I ain't from around here."

Zinnia didn't know why he was offering so much information, but she'd take what she could get. Who was this guy, anyway?

"What's your name?" She left out her name, still feeling skeptical about the guy.

"I'm Edmund Burke." He took her hand and kissed it, and bowed. "Nice ta meet ya, lil' missy." He looked up at her with a cheeky grin.

Shit. Was there some kind of Pureblood greeting she had to do? Severus hadn't taught her all that much, only the basics, and she knew that after that, she would have to bow as well. But she didn't know what to do after that.

Edmund noticed her indecision. "You ain't a Pureblood, huh?"

Zinnia winced. Was her cover already blown? If he knew she was a Muggleborn, there was a high chance he'd kick her out.

Noticing her internal struggle, he laughed again and clapped her on the back rather jovially. Zinnia found that she actually liked his laugh—it was loud, unrestrained, and kind of conspiratorial, like they had a secret no one else knew.

"It's fine," He said, "I don't like them Purebloods much, anyway."

"Wasn't there a store called Borgin and Burkes near here?" She frowned. This guy was suspicious as fuck, but for some reason, she couldn't help but like him.

Edmund grinned widely again, like a Cheshire cat, his eyes gleaming. "I like ya, lil' missy. I ain't much of a Burke—I'm a bastard child. Them guys up there hate my guts."

Ah. A bastard child. That explained why he seemed so…carefree. Zinnia felt the corner of her mouth lift up in a smirk. "They're probably just jealous their store isn't as good as yours."

Edmund roared with laughter, again. "Flattery gon' get you places, girl. Don't you forget that."

Zinnia couldn't help a small smile of amusement. "Don't worry, I won't." She answered dryly.

"Now," Edmund turned serious, "What ya got for that basilisk fang, lil' missy?"

"It's Zinnia Evans." She said shortly, "Not lil' missy."

Edmund looked delighted. "Well, it's nice ta meet ya, Zinnia. What can I do for ya?"

"I need a basilisk fang, and I can bring something for trade." She didn't ask anything, making sure to let him make the offers first, putting her in a spot with more power. With this, she'd be able to evaluate his offers and determine if he was trying to rip her off.

"And what do you have for trade?" His mouth quirked mischievously, and Zinnia could tell he was shifting the power towards himself. She tried not to groan—this was as hard as playing a chess game against Arin.

"That would depend on what you're looking for." She answered smoothly.

Edmund scrutinized her, his eyes gleaming with approval. "Tell ya what. If ya can get me a vial of dragon blood and one of them Muggle things—light bulbs, they call 'em," He lowered his voice at this, "I'll give it ta ya."

Zinnia considered this. Dragon blood wasn't actually that hard to get, and usually ranged from fifty Galleons to seventy. And light bulbs? She could get that, easy peasy.

(It was kind of sad, what the Wizarding world didn't have. They pretty much still lived primitively, but Zinnia found it hilarious.)

"Deal." She said, and he held his hand out for a shake.

Except it wasn't much of a shake—he gripped her hand and cast a spell that wound a light blue string around their joined hands.

"Don' worry," He snorted at her horrified look, "it ain't an Unbreakable Vow. It's only a Deal Acceptance, and it won't kill ya. It only makes sure ya don't back out, but if ya do, ya gotta talk to me."

Zinnia heaved a sigh of relief. "Aren't scared of making a deal with a kid?" She asked, still kind of feeling suspicious.

"Ya seem like a good kid, I'll trust ya." He flashed her a secretive grin, "An' between me and ya, I'm tryin' ta get all the customers at Borgin and Burkes over here."

This guy had the best sense of humor, ever. He was even funnier than Severus on a bad day. Zinnia hadn't talked to anyone this easy-going in a long time, and it was like a breath of fresh air.

She laughed openly. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Thanks." He gave her a grin that was all teeth.

At that moment, the door opened, another gust of air blowing as the person stepped through.

To Zinnia's immense surprise—or not—it was Regulus, looking harried and sullen.

He took a double-take when he saw Zinnia, but didn't acknowledge her as he approached Edmund.

Wow, rude. She turned away from him a bit vindictively.

Edmund's eyes narrowed, and his expression slid into an unreadable one. "Regulus Black." He said simply, "How are you?"

"Fine." He answered shortly, casting Zinnia annoyed look that screamed 'get out this is my private business'.

Ha. Like hell she was moving for this guy. She folded her arms and remained in place, rooted firmly.

Regulus looked extremely agitated at this but chose to ignore her. "Do you have _Curses to the Death_?"

That title didn't sound too good.

Edmund nodded calmly, a sharp contrast to Regulus' jittery state. "Let me go get it for you. It'll be ninety Galleons and four Knuts."

He left the two of them as he headed toward the back of his shop to get the book.

Regulus and Zinnia stood in awkward silence, and she eyed Regulus curiously. He was definitely acting weirdly, though she still had no idea why.

Great. Another enigma for her to deal with. "You okay?" She practically grit out, forcing herself to say the words. It was way too weird to be asking him that.

"Fine." He answered curtly, sparing her a glance. After a while, he asked, "You?"

Zinnia had a feeling he was digging for information on why she was here. "Fine." She answered, mimicking him.

They stood in another bout of silence.

Technically, Zinnia was done with her business, so she could leave, but she'd also wanted to ask Edmund about the Burkes and why he wanted light bulbs, of all things. It wasn't her business, but it wouldn't hurt to try to build up an acquaintance with the shopkeeper. Besides, he was pretty open in giving information—he'd be a good ally.

(But Zinnia could tell Edmund had something darker stirring in him, festering in his soul, using his jovial personality to cover it up. He had just as many secrets as she did.)

Zinnia glanced at her watch, gauging the time and mentally calculating how much time she had left before she had to meet up with Lily and Petunia. She still hadn't bought anything she wanted, but she knew she was going to have to save up her money in order to get the things Edmund wanted.

She sighed heavily. It looked like she wouldn't be buying anything for a long time.

 _Unlike Mr. I Come From a Rich And Prestigious Family over here_ , she thought bitterly.

Regulus finally broke the silence, his curiosity getting the better of him. "What are you doing here?"

Zinnia gave him a blank look. If he wasn't going to tell her anything, she wasn't going to either. "What? I can't shop?"

He shot her a glare. "In Knockturn Alley?" He answered flatly.

Zinnia shrugged vaguely. "What're _you_ doing here?"

Regulus' fists clenched. "Nothing." He said quietly.

She could tell that this was a sore subject, so she refrained from prodding any further. Trying to look for a neutral subject, she asked him about Quidditch. She kind of felt bad for always prying into his business—but hey, he was even more suspicious than Edmund, and she couldn't let anything interfere with her future plans.

"How's being a Seeker going for you?"

He rolled his eyes. "We're on the same team."

"Look, I'm just trying to make friendly conversation here." Zinnia snapped.

"Since when were we _friends_?" He sneered.

Zinnia really, really wanted to punch him. "It's called being polite, you arse." She spat. "Can you stop being an angsty brat for five minutes and actually react like a decent human being? Stop taking your frustrations out on others."

He glowered at her angrily but couldn't find anything to say in reply and instead sulked in silence.

Edmund stepped back into the room and handed Regulus the book, which was wrapped tightly.

Regulus handed him the money, snatched the book, and swept out the door.

"That was rude." Zinnia commented. Edmund looked at her and laughed, finally breaking his stony exterior.

"Them Purebloods always be acting like that all the damn time."

"Too true." Zinnia agreed.

Edmund Burke had probably been her BFF in another life or something.

"Why don't ya follow after him? Poor guy looks like he could use the company." Commented Edmund.

"You know him well?" Asked Zinnia. They didn't seem like strangers.

"He comes here sometimes. And he ain't doing that good." Admitted Edmund. "Ya can come back any time ya want. But tryin' ta help someone else ain't something that comes often." He gave her a loose smile.

Zinnia heaved a sigh. She didn't really feel like talking to Regulus, but she did feel bad for him. She didn't even want to imagine what it would've been like to grow up in the Black family.

"I'm not sure he wants to talk."

"No one ever does." Edmund made a shooing motion with his hand. "That boy ain't gonna talk with an old guy like me but maybe he'll talk to ya. Sounded like ya were friends back there."

Zinnia tried not to make a face of disgust. "We're not friends." He just smiled at her and she sighed again. "Fine. And you're not _that_ old." She added, almost cheekily.

"Get outta here." Edmund laughed, his words more teasing than angry.

She trudged out of the shop, quickening her steps to catch up to Regulus, who was only a few paces ahead of her.

"Hey." She greeted when she caught up.

He turned around, blinking with surprise. It was snowing outside, and some of the snowflakes caught on his long lashes.

Zinnia bit back a snigger. He'd forgotten a scarf and he looked pretty ridiculous, covered in all the snow. His nose was a bright red, and she really wanted to call him Rudolph.

 _You're here to be nice._ She reminded herself, _And maybe figure out what the hell is going on with the Black family while you're at it._

She shook her head and unraveled her scarf from her neck, handing him the scarf.

He stared at it blankly and looked at her like she was an alien.

"What? You're cold, so I'm helping you out."

He didn't take it and she left her hand outstretched in an offer. "What do you want?" He muttered moodily.

"Nothing." Zinnia replied wearily, "Just take the damn scarf while I'm trying to be nice. Don't worry, I don't have any Mudblood germs on it." She sneered.

There was a moment of indecision before Regulus grabbed the scarf aggressively and put it around his neck, turning his head away so she couldn't see his expression. He didn't bother saying thanks.

Zinnia raised her eyes to the sky and prayed for patience.

"What are you doing?" He snapped as they walked side by side.

"I'm walking." She deadpanned.

"Why are you being so nice?" He bit out.

Shrugging, Zinnia shoved her hands in the pockets of her robes. She wasn't exactly being nice for Regulus' sake, it was more for her own.

Honestly, helping him out eased a bit of her guilty conscience that had been building up, and it made her feel slightly better about herself. And she wanted to know what was going on with the Blacks.

"I heard there's a big party being hosted by the Malfoys today." She said, instead of replying.

Regulus grunted.

"Why aren't you there?"

"My family didn't go." He answered succinctly.

Okay, that was a sure sign that something was up. The Malfoys and Blacks were always closely allied—they were practically related, with all that intermarriage.

"That sucks." She commented, not knowing what to say.

Regulus snorted. "Not really." Zinnia glanced at him with surprise—he was actually being open.

He avoided her gaze. "What, did you think Pureblood parties were fun?"

Zinnia let out a huff of laughter. "Of course not. I feel pretty bad for you guys, honestly, with all those annoying customs."

"Not all of them are that bad." Regulus countered, but his words lacked conviction.

The tension between them faded slightly, melting into a more comfortable feeling.

Zinnia relaxed her posture slightly and dug her hands in her pockets, her cheeks stinging from the cold.

Damn. She really shouldn't have given her scarf to Regulus. But it was too late to take it back now. He looked like he needed it more than she did.

"When's your birthday?" Zinnia asked suddenly, going through different possibilities in her mind. Maybe his family had forgotten his birthday.

He shot her a wary look. "It's next week. January 7th."

Zinnia raised her eyebrows. "You were born on the seventh." She paused tilting her head, "Your birthday happens when we go back to school."

"I know." He said dryly, "And I don't really see any difference being born on the seventh. Even if it's a number with mysterious magical properties." He added, seeing Zinnia opening her mouth to argue.

"Are you doing anything for your birthday?"

She expected him to get angry, because she'd accidentally touched a spot that concerned his family, but he just looked forlorn instead. "Not really." His mouth quirked up into a smile that was barely there, "Kreacher is making something, though."

Kreacher? That name sounded pretty familiar—wasn't that the Black family's house elf or something?

Regulus noted her look of confusion. "He's our house elf." He clarified.

There was another moment of silence before he added, "He was the one who raised me." His tone was fond, and Zinnia had never heard anything like it before.

A fond Regulus was a Regulus that looked like a soft marshmallow. His voice was soft, devoid of the usual tight anger and controlled politeness that defined it as he described his time with Kreacher.

"He raised me ever since I was born, and last birthday, he made me so much food that we had leftovers for weeks." Regulus smiled, and it was a quiet, gentle thing.

For the first time, Zinnia was starting to see him as someone human; a young boy struggling to keep up with the expectations of his family, and growing weary under all the pressure.

It was not a pleasant feeling.

She felt a lot better when she could see him as a pawn to be used; someone who could get her inside information or become a powerful ally. Not a person.

But, she found, a lot of the people she thought were only allies were becoming too human in her eyes. Emily and Reyna were people she now considered her closest friends, and it was a scary thought.

Zinnia didn't want to become closer to people, she didn't want to acknowledge that they were all _people_ , with lives and souls and feelings.

It was terrifying because she needed them to stay characters from a world she'd thought was made-up; because she needed to use whatever means she could to keep the people she cared about safe, even if it meant sacrificing those around her.

(But, really, she knew it was too hard to do that. But she had to. Had to for those she loved.)

"That's beautiful." She said, feeling her heart ache at Regulus' bond with Kreacher.

Regulus shot her a startled look, all raised eyebrows and widened eyes. And then it melted off into a look of quiet warmth. "Thanks."

They walked the rest of the way in silence, but it wasn't awkward. It was the type of silence where you walk and walk, not really thinking about anything but rather _feeling_. Feeling the world around you, feeling the emotions inside you.

They reached the alley that stretched into Diagon Alley and they stopped.

"Bye, I guess." Zinnia said awkwardly, waving her hand.

Regulus gave her a nod and she walked away, heading off to find her sisters. He didn't give back her scarf, but Zinnia didn't ask for it back. She silently lamented the loss of the soft light blue scarf she'd gotten from Severus last Christmas—who knew, he actually had good taste—and let it go; Regulus probably needed the scarf more.

As she left, she felt Regulus' eyes boring into her back.

The snow fell like tiny cold feathers, sprinkling across her face. But she didn't feel cold—not at all. There was a warm sort of satisfaction wrapping around her, and she basked in it.

She met up with Lily and Petunia, who were cooing over the owls next to the ice cream shop.

"Hey." She raised a hand, still feeling strangely calm inside.

Lily grinned at her but looked confused. "You seem…more peaceful. It's a lot better than what you looked like before."

Zinnia snorted. "What did you guys get?"

Lily launched into an excited replay of her and Petunia's adventures through Diagon Alley, and Zinnia listened fondly, unable to keep the affectionate smile off her face.

Winter break was actually pretty nice.

* * *

 **A/N: Happy New Year!** **I'm so, so sorry about the late update! I had a busy break, but I'll be updating this more regularly from now on.**

 **It is seriously** _ **hard**_ **to write Severus' character. I dunno why, it just is.**

 **And this fic's Petunia is slightly different from canon!Petunia. This is what I think would've happened if she'd let go of her bitterness and tried to move on. I mean, she's not perfect, and it seems kinda sudden, but that'll be explained later (I think). And though it's sudden, that's usually how life works, so yeah.**

 **NOTE: Zinnia and Regulus didn't go through anything romantic—it was more of forming a bond of friendship and mutual understanding. They're a bit too young for love, and really, it's just friendship.**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who favorited and followed! And thank you to DarkDust27, NinjaDemonAngel, shugokage, Madam3Mayh3m, tnle, BasicallyComplicated, UniCryin, NatNicole, Goldspark1, lizy2000, Guest, wickedlfairy17, Lady Syndra, Andy the willow tree, Matsoine, Azael-Ruthven, Lo, Himeno Kazehito, trebeh, TheNerdyFan, misherukuro, Miraluc, Mousey Kimmy, pipelite, Miyukino, and EisForElephant for reviewing!**

 **And as usual, feel free to leave any comments and thanks for reading!**

 **(And sorry about the long A/N.)**

 **Replies to Guest reviews:**

 **NatNicole: Haha, you almost guessed right. (It was Severus, not Lily, sorry!) And yes, Severus is such a boneheaded idiot at times. I don't want Lily and Severus to fall out either, and I'm really leaning towards them staying friends, but really, this fic write itself sometimes, so I can't say that they're not going to fall out for sure. Thank you for reviewing as usual!**

 **Goldspark1: Yes, I'm really trying to explore the whole grey moralities thing. War is tough, and it's hard to discern between right and wrong when you're on the battlefield. This is only the start of it though—things will definitely get harder from here on out. And the Black family has dynamics I really want to explore; I like to think Sirius and Regulus could have been great brothers if they'd been born into a different family. Thanks for always reviewing!**

 **Guest: I think that's the whole point of this, isn't it? I mean, Zinnia's morality** _ **is**_ **screwed, but she isn't a hero. I don't think anyone can win a war by themselves; they have to have help. And this is what this fic is about—it's about war and the people who fight it, and people make mistakes. Zinnia isn't perfect and she never will be, and she definitely won't be able to take down Voldemort alone. And rather than childish revenge, I think it was more like insurance—if she messes with Mulciber, no one will mess with her or anyone she cares about. But thanks for sharing your thoughts and thanks for reviewing!**

 **Lo: Thank you so much! I really spent a lot of time trying to characterize Regulus, but I still can't decide whether he's a total troll (for the whole locket thing) or just an angsty kid born into a shitty time and a shitty family dynamic/tradition.**

 **Miraluc: Thank you! I'll be trying to update faster from now on. :)**


	14. that tremble down your spine

_She was dreaming._

 _She didn't know how she knew, but she knew._

 _The world was an ugly, misty grey and she stood still, watching the people move and talk around her in shadowy blurs._

 _They were Death Eaters, and they were standing in front of a burning house._

 _She looked behind her and saw Voldemort._

 _Looking at him was like a chill that crept up her spine, lingering and twisting until she finally realized—oh. That was_ Voldemort _standing in front of her._

 _Voldemort, the Dark Lord, the one who had killed so many and would kill even more._

 _Who would kill Lily and Severus._

 _She tried to take a step back, her heart frozen in place, but her feet were rooted to the ground._

 _She couldn't even see any of their faces, but the air stilled around her and an icy fear ran through her veins, chilling and sinister._

 _It seemed to be just black and white coloring the world around her, and the people in front of her were transparent; there but not there._

 _A simple, small house stood in front of the group, and it was burning._

 _The most of the Death Eaters wore masks—but some did not. And those who didn't were young; too young to be caught in a war on the wrong side at the wrong time._

 _One man laughed, an eerie, shrill thing that was devoid of sympathy for the burning home in front of him._

 _Zinnia shivered and wanted to turn away, but she felt an unexplainable urge to keep watching._

 _A Death Eater burst out of the house, clutching a young woman by the arm and dragging her out into the front yard._

" _This is the girl, my lord." The Death Eater addressed Voldemort, and threw the woman onto the place in front of his feet._

 _Voldemort sneered, a cold, ugly thing, and flickered his eyes disdainfully towards the woman's trembling, prone form. "So this is the Squib."_

 _The woman clutched herself tightly, never daring to raise her head up and kept her eyes fixed towards the ground. "You killed my parents." Her voice was quiet, but it was laced with hatred and malice._

" _Of course I did. Why would those pathetic Muggles deserve to live?" Voldemort's lips curled with cruel amusement. "And you don't, either."_

 _She looked up abruptly, her mouth twisted into a snarl. "Don't call them that! They took me in when my family abandoned me. The Wizarding world has done nothing for me."_

 _Voldemort's lips contorted into a vicious smile and he turned to the Death Eater standing next to him. "Why don't you do the honors?"_

 _The Death Eater had no mask, and he seemed young, judging by the slope of his shoulders and the way his robes hung off his limbs, like he hadn't finished growing yet, and was still finding his place in the world._

 _Zinnia couldn't see his face as his body was angled so his back faced her and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. There was a long pause and Zinnia wondered if this boy would be able to kill._

 _Voldemort swept his hand with mocking courtesy. "Well, go on."_

 _The boy raised his hand with the faintest tremble before he straightened up, his back ramrod straight and his arm firm and steady._

" _Crucio." A stream of red light shot out from his wand._

 _The woman let out a scream that Zinnia knew would haunt her nightmares for the rest of her life. It was filled with terror and anguish, a scream that cut deeper than bone, so loud and so filled with pain that the woman's voice was too hoarse to keep on screaming._

 _The spell was released and she lay on the ground, tears streaming from her eyes and her body wracked with sobs and trembling violently._

" _Shall I kill her, my lord?" The voice was cool and detached, but full of a strange sort of familiarity that had Zinnia straining her memory._

 _Voldemort considered the woman's trembling form for a moment. She looked up and spat at his feet, her saliva mixed with blood and tinted a watery crimson. "You'll never win." Her voice was scratchy and almost nonexistent, but Zinnia could feel the force and conviction behind it. "You're just a filthy monster, and you can never win."_

 _Red, cutting red, full of rage and the desire to hurt flashed through Voldemort's eyes. It was the color of the curse "Crucio", the only color that existed in this dream. "No, no." He said carelessly, a tone that was deceptively nonchalant. "I'll kill her myself."_

 _Voldemort raised his arm, his face impassive. "Avada Kedavra."_

 _A jet of green, bright green light, shot out of his wand, and in the span of a single heartbeat, left the girl dead._

 _It was so fast—a life taken so easily and so quickly that Zinnia could barely comprehend it._

 _Voldemort lowered his wand and dismissed the Death Eaters as if nothing had happened._

 _They all Disapparated, some at the same time, some lingering behind._

 _The boy who had tortured the girl slowly turned around and he looked forward, nearly meeting Zinnia's eyes._

 _He had green eyes, darker than Lily's; it was the same green as the Killing Curse._

 _And they were Arin's eyes._

Zinnia woke up with a start, her heart pounding so loudly she was surprised she hadn't accidentally woken up Lily.

Sweat plastered her hair to her face, and she was unbearably hot.

She swept off her covers and nearly tumbled off her bed, her limbs shaking and collapsing once they touched the ground. She fell onto her knees and pressed her forearms to the carpeted ground, hanging her head.

Gusts of breath swept in and out of her lungs, and she kneeled there, trying desperately to push the images out of her head.

 _That can't have been Arin_. She thought, but really, she knew that he was old enough to be initiated as a Death Eater. He was a sixth year, nearing seventeen, and for Voldemort, that was enough.

 _What the fuck._ There was nothing that could excuse what he'd done, but the real question was, _why_ had he done it?

In all of her past encounters with Arin, she'd found him to be an intense, even playful person, but never malicious. He'd never insulted her for her blood status or treated her badly.

Zinnia clenched her fists. Things were happening way too quickly and it was nowhere near good.

The young woman's dead body floated through her mind and Zinnia gagged. She'd never seen someone actually directly killed by the Killing Curse before, and it was so horrifyingly simple.

A single touch of the spell—a simple two words uttered—and the woman was left in an undignified heap on the ground, body devoid of life and hanging limply like a marionette whose stings had been cut.

Those empty, empty eyes.

Zinnia shot to her feet and dashed to the bathroom, slamming the toilet cover up and dry heaving into the toilet bowl.

 _Ohgodohgodohgodohgod—_

She slumped onto the floor, leaning against the toilet, and stared at the wall. If she closed her eyes, she'd see that dead body; those _eyes_.

For a long while, she did nothing but sit and stare, letting time pass as she sat through the night.

Thoughts flitted in and out of her head, filling her with doubts and fear, leaving her bereft of hope.

What was she going to do? What _could_ she do? She was just a child; a pathetic, thirteen year old child, and she was fighting in a war fought by adults.

She would have to take this slowly, step by step.

How was she going to kill Voldemort? Could she even do this alone? She knew she would need plenty of allies, especially Death Eaters, so she could create a network of spies, but what about herself? What would _she_ do?

Of course, she had the Horcruxes to handle, but she had to get the Basilisk fangs first. And Severus had reported that the Malfoys had a diary, but it was under heavy protection.

(He'd gone through a lot of digging and subtle prodding for information.)

So now she had to figure out how to steal from the Malfoys; something else she had to add to her ever-growing to do list, which had almost nothing completed.

Merlin, she was so fucked.

(Zinnia had to force herself to remember to use the word "Merlin" instead of God, because apparently, wizards didn't believe in God. Which was incredibly egotistical of them, but it was quite understandable, because who needed a God when there were people who had achieved immortality, or had cheated death?)

But in all seriousness, she'd just had another prophetic dream, and it was incredibly shitty.

Winter break would be over in just three days, and she had no idea when the event from her dream—nightmare—was going to happen. But it would definitely be happening before they went back to school—she knew that for sure.

Was it possible to stop the event? _Should_ she even try to stop it?

Even if she wanted to stop it, there was no way she could get to the house; she didn't even know where it was. And if she stopped it, it could change the course of events drastically she might even accidentally get Arin killed.

She swallowed down the bile in her throat. She hated, _hated_ these prophetic dreams with every inch of her being.

It was nearly torture to have knowledge of a future event, but not be able to do much about it.

She wanted to save that young woman—she wanted to so, so badly. But that could cause problems in the future, and changing something like this could be detrimental to her goal of saving those she cared about.

It made her feel disgusting—but it was nothing new. She was letting someone die, and she was a monster for doing it.

But no matter what, her only priority would be to save Lily and Severus and the others she cared about.

Even if she had to kill, she would do it to save them.

She dragged herself into a standing position, forcing herself to keep going, even if everything was piling up so high that she could barely stand anymore.

She had to keep going. For Lily, for the people that she loved.

Her feet were unsteady, but she stumbled over to the sink and washed her hands, splashing cold water all over her face.

It should have felt refreshing, but she felt nothing.

Taking in a deep breath, she dried her hands on a towel and went back to the room she shared with Lily, making sure to move quietly as to not wake her, and grabbed a light grey sweater Julie had gotten her for her birthday.

Zinnia knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep for the rest of the night. Not when there were so many things weighing on her, not when she had just seen someone die.

She slipped out of their room, treading lightly, and crept down the stairs and into the living room.

The house was silent and dark, filled with looming shadows and stretching corners.

If this had been any other night, she wouldn't have been scared. But all she could see was the young woman's dead body and flashes of red and green.

She half expected to turn around and see a silvery, leering Death Eater mask behind her.

Shivering quietly and pulling the sweater closer to herself, she flipped on a small lamp in the corner of the living room.

It illuminated the room with a gentle sort of light, both unsettling and comforting. She went to the kitchen to grab a cup of water a few snacks before settling down on their sofa.

She turned on the television and pulled her feet up to her chest. All of the shows after 12 were boring and stupid, but she needed some mind numbing television to distract herself for a while.

Before she knew it, she was watching The Brady Bunch at 7 AM while her parents got up and Julie went down to make breakfast.

The sunlight filtered through the closed curtains, and Zinnia reached behind her to open the curtains just a crack and let a bit of the light in.

"Zin? What are you doing up so early?" Her mum stopped and stared at her from the base of the stairs, her voice full of surprise. Zinnia was never an early riser—she was usually the last one to get up.

Zinnia shrugged, forcefully shoving her emotional turmoil underneath a mask of impassivity. Her parents had enough on their plates. "Just felt like getting up early today and watching some t.v. before Lily gets to it."

Julie laughed, but her eyebrows were still raised with curiosity. "Alright. What do you want for breakfast?"

"I dunno." Zinnia reverted her eyes back towards the television screen, laughing hollowly whenever a funny line was said.

There was no feeling in her laughter—no mirth or amusement; just the empty sound of it being forced out.

"I'll just make some bacon and pancakes then. And your favorite sunny side up eggs." Julie smiled at her youngest daughter.

Zinnia hummed with acknowledgement. "Sure, thanks mum. And good morning."

"Morning." Her mum's eyes crinkled at the corners. Julie yawned and pulled her hair into a bun before pulling on an apron.

The thing about Zinnia's parents was that they didn't really understand her.

Sure, they knew all the little things, like how she liked her eggs done or what her favorite color was.

But they could never understand her because she had been living with burdens ever since she had been born.

And they had never known anything different.

(She knew she had never been a normal child, and her parents knew that too.)

Zinnia's childhood had been pathetically depressing—she'd only been able to interact with her sisters, and to a certain extent, her parents. Everyone else had been promptly ignored or hadn't been able to form a connection with Zinnia.

After all, she'd been trying to adjust in an unknown world, with the weight of the future on her shoulders. It hadn't been pretty.

Julie and Max couldn't tell when she was feeling even worse than usual not because they were bad parents but simply because Zinnia had been like that her entire life.

There was no in between—she was either in a rare good mood, or she was brooding and contemplating the complications of her life and the future.

So Zinnia didn't blame them for being the kind of parents that couldn't tell if something was wrong—and really, she could deal with all the emotional shit by herself.

(Mostly by repressing it, which was definitely unhealthy, but at this point, she didn't give a shit anymore.)

Her sisters came tumbling down the stairs, and Lily actually screeched to a halt and openly gaped at the sight of her younger sister sitting on the couch and watching t.v. at 7:30 AM.

It was unprecedented, and it was a miracle.

" _Zin_?" Lily asked incredulously, "Why are you up so early?"

Zinnia turned to her sisters who were still staring at her from the bottom of the stairs and rolled her eyes. "You'd better close your mouths or you'll catch flies." She said dryly. "And why does everyone think me waking up is a weird thing? I can wake up early if I want to."

Lily gave her a disbelieving look. Zinnia was never an early riser.

"What time did you wake up?" Asked Petunia, pushing past Lily and plopping on the couch next to Zinnia. She diverted her attention to the television screen. "Oooh, is that The Brady Bunch? What episode is this?"

Zinnia purposely ignored Petunia's first question. "I dunno, I usually watch Bewitched or something, not this."

"Oh man," groaned Petunia, "you've missed out on so much. You need to watch them all."

Lily vaulted onto the space on the other side of Zinnia. "Hey! Don't start watching without me!"

Zinnia smirked. "Whoops. We already did."

Lily smacked her on the face with the couch pillow. "Hah! That'll teach you to start without me." Zinnia let out an amused breath and grabbed the pillow and hugged it to her chest, out of Lily's reach.

"Real mature Lils, real mature." Petunia commented dryly, but she and Zinnia were grinning.

"Breakfast's ready!" Called their mum from the kitchen, "Someone needs to go wake up your dad!"

"Not me." Zinnia answered quickly, dashing to the kitchen and settling down in her designated seat.

"Not me!" Called Petunia, following in her youngest sister's footsteps and crashing into her chair before Lily.

"Why is it always me?" Bemoaned Lily, but her eyes were sparkling with mirth. She trudged back up the stairs to wake up Max.

No one really wanted to wake up their dad, simply because it was almost impossible.

All amounts of poking, prodding, shouting, and shaking were useless in the trial of waking him up.

Lily threw her parents' bedroom door open. "Dad!" She called, then stopped with surprise. Her parents' bed was empty.

Confused, she ran back down the stairs, only to bump into her dad, who was coming out of their basement.

He was holding a white box with a clear covering, and as she looked closer, she realized that it was a bunch of light bulbs.

"Morning, Lily." Max smiled at her, his face tired and his hair still ruffled with sleep.

"Morning." Lily looked at him curiously, "You actually got up early?"

Her dad and Zinnia were always the latest risers, but the morning was just full of surprises.

"Hey!" Her dad protested, his tone light. "I can get up early, you know."

Lily gave him a flat stare and he chuckled. "Well, I remembered that Zin asked for some light bulbs yesterday, so I went to get some before I forgot."

"Light bulbs?" Lily echoed, her brow wrinkling with a mix of surprise and confusion. The light in their room was fine, so why would her sister ask for light bulbs? "Why'd she ask for light bulbs?"

Max shrugged nonchalantly. "I dunno, she just asked for some. I just assumed a light was broken."

Frowning, Lily decided to ask Zinnia about it later. Her younger sister was weird, but not to the extent of asking for light bulbs out of nowhere.

She had an inkling something was up, and she was tired of getting left in the dark. She'd get the truth out of her sister, no matter what.

But before that, she was going to spend the day baking with Petunia, like they had promised.

(Those cookies and brownies were calling her name.)

And besides, they had all the time in the world.

* * *

Today was just as shitty as the other days.

Regulus was counting down the days for winter break to be over, and he still had to wait a total of three agonizing days.

It wasn't like he hated his family or anything—okay, maybe he did, sometimes—but he was sick and tired of all the crap the Black family had to go through, just because they were _Blacks_.

Being part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight _and_ being one of the top most powerful families within that elite circle placed a shitload of responsibilities on the Blacks, including the job of being one of Lord Voldemort's most ardent supporters.

Well, it was them and the Malfoys and Lestranges who were expected to take the top spots as Lord Voldemort's closest Death Eaters.

Sure, his father becoming a Death Eater would reap their family a lot of benefits, but Regulus honestly didn't know what he wanted more—that glory and power, or the loss of his family.

The Blacks becoming closer to the Dark Lord was just driving a bigger wedge between Sirius and the rest of their family; an irreparable gap the stretched too wide for apologies.

And not to mention, his father had a chance of being killed every time he was summoned by the Dark Lord.

The life of a Death Eater could be glamorous and unrestrained, but Regulus was starting to feel less and less sure that he wanted to be one.

He still remembered the one time the Dark Lord had borrowed the Black mansion as an in order to torture and interrogate—and later kill—a Ministry official.

He remembered wanting to hide in Sirius' room like they did when they were little and Walburga was on a rampage. He remembered lingering by his older brother's door, aching for the feeling of his brother's tight, fierce hugs that protected him from the world they lived in.

And worst of all, he remembered the shrill, gutting screams of the man echoing through the house as he slowly twisted the knob to Sirius' door only to find it locked.

His heart caught in his throat, thudding painfully as the blunt weight of his brother's rejection stood in front of him.

He'd had no one but himself for comfort that day, and that was never enough.

(Not when he knew the gentle whisper of Sirius' _It'll be alright, Reg_ , and the warmth of his brother, strong and stubborn, shielding him from Walburga's wrath.)

The bruises on his back throbbed just then, and his body tingled violently with the aftershocks of the _Cruciatus_ curse.

Breaking the Black's ties to the Mulcibers hadn't been the best idea.

But it was worth it. (Was it?) Worth it for the feeling of uncontrolled power, raw and wild, thrumming through his veins, shattering the air—

He curled tightly into himself, leaning into the soft, silky cushions of his bed.

His fingers itched for his wand, and the bruises on his back ached.

There was a soft crack and he looked up, already feeling some of the pain melt away.

"Master Regulus, Kreacher has some tea for you." Kreacher blinked at him, holding up a tray with a steaming cup of tea and a small pastry.

A small smile found its way onto Regulus' face. "Thank you, Kreacher." Kreacher had always been there for him. Always.

(Not like Sirius, who'd abandoned him the minute he was Sorted into Gryffindor. Not like his parents, who cared more about the Noble and Ancient House of Black than they did its occupants.)

(But Regulus still held onto the hope that his parents loved him. He wanted—needed them to love him.

Because if they didn't, then what was the point of living like this?)

Kreacher stepped forward and placed the tray onto the table beside Regulus' bed and pulled out a small bottle from Merlin knows where. "For Master Regulus." Kreacher set the bottle down next to the tray.

"Kreacher—" Regulus began, his tone filled with warning, thought there was a slight strain of fear in it. He bit his lip and paused, contemplating the bottle.

Usually, when he was punished, he was given no healing—he wasn't allowed any. But if Kreacher, a house elf tied to his parents and serving them absolutely, was giving him the bottle, there shouldn't be any trouble with taking the potion.

"Kreacher, where did you get this?"

"Kreacher got this from Milly, Master Regulus. She made it."

Regulus snorted and closed his eyes. He should've known that his mother would never give him something like this. "Thank you." He murmured tiredly.

Kreacher bowed and Apparated away.

He was exhausted. So weary, so tired of everything. His life was spiraling down in so many different directions that he didn't know which one to follow.

But there was no point in lamenting his life, really. The only thing he could do was live and uphold the Black family tradition.

(He wanted his parents to love him, and he had already lost Sirius' love.)

Rolling onto his side, he sat up and picked up the cup of tea, pouring the potion into it.

The tea was lukewarm, the taste fruity due to the addition of the potion. Regulus sighed and drank it all in one gulp, setting the cup down with a tiny clatter.

"Sirius Orion Black!" He heard his mother screech from downstairs, "That is _not_ the appropriate attire! Go change right now—you will _not_ continue to disgrace this family!"

Regulus grimaced, looking down at the stiff dress robes he was wearing, and stood up, brushing himself off; making sure to look pristine.

He rushed downstairs to find his brother looking annoyed, arguing back with a sneer on his face. "Do you think the Greengrasses will even care what I wear? You've practically disowned me anyway, _mother dear_."

"I will _not_ tolerate this kind of behavior." Walburga snapped, "And you _will change right now_." She held up her wand threateningly.

Sirius held back the instinctual flinch—Regulus could tell be the way he was clenching his fists and holding himself with a forced stance.

Walburga caught sight of him. "Regulus dear, you look perfect." She turned to Sirius disdainfully. "Look at your brother. The perfect Black. Why can't you be more like him?"

Sirius shot Regulus a nasty glare, muttering "Mummy's boy" under his breath and stomping back up the stairs to change. Regulus tried to ignore the pang in his chest at Sirius' hate and made sure to keep his face impassive.

"Now remember." Walburga fixed her stern stare onto Regulus, "This dinner is for you to meet the daughter of the house, Reyna. You _must_ make a good impression, and the Greengrasses are one of the top candidates for your fiancé."

Regulus nodded once, having heard this same speech dozens of times before. "Of course, mother."

The corners of Walburga's eyes softened; the closest she could get to a smile. "That's my boy."

Regulus couldn't help but want to beam, warmed by Walburga's rare compliment. He glanced up on a whim to see Sirius staring down at them, dressed in the robes Walburga had picked out for him. There was a slight spark of jealousy in his eyes, his older brother's eyes a swirling silver whirlpool, before it was replaced by cool anger.

Sirius stepped down the stairs, the picture of the perfect aristocrat, and swept Walburga and Regulus, choosing to wait in front of the door by himself.

"Where's father?" Regulus asked, waiting for Orion's appearance.

"He won't be joining us tonight. He has a more important appointment." Walburga seemed to shine with pride.

They were about to leave when Walburga suddenly stopped and looked at Regulus. "What are you wearing?"

Regulus frowned. "What?"

"That scarf." Walburga motioned towards it, "I didn't choose that for you."

Regulus felt his eyes widen; he'd accidentally worn the blue scarf. "I—" He paused, not knowing what to say. He could feel Sirius staring at him. "I forgot I was wearing it." It was a weak answer, but Walburga accepted it.

"Take it off. It's ugly." She eyed it with dislike.

Regulus slowly unwrapped the scarf from his neck. Instantly, the quiet chill of the house hit his neck, and he shivered slightly. He missed the warmth the scarf provided.

Gently placing the scarf down on the old chair next to him, he followed his mother out the door, leaving the scarf inside the house, its light blue contrasting oddly with the darker shades of the house.

(The only memorable thing about the dinner was Sirius' prank, which had the plates turning into rubber chickens.)

(There was going to be a big punishment for that.)

* * *

 _ **Warning: Long ass author's note coming up. I would also appreciate it if you read it.**_

 **A/N: So, here's the thing: This was my first story, and when I first started writing it, it was mostly in answer to a dare from a friend. I wrote the first chapter with no plans, no outline, and had no idea what I was even doing. It wasn't even supposed to be over ten chapters, much less 70k+ words. But as I wrote it, I started to have a picture of what I wanted to write, and wrote out a long ass outline that I'm still working on. So I'm going to rewrite the first five chapters and replace them with the revised versions. (I want to rewrite the whole thing, but I'm fucking lazy and I don't want all the time I spent on this to go to waste… I'm terrible, I know.)**

 **I'm still writing the buildup for future chapters—sa lot of the beginning is** **a set-up chapter rather than anything really happening in it. I'm also going to be trying to alternate different points of view for different characters—Zinnia's POV will be the predominant one, but I'm going to start focusing on other characters as well. The reason for this is that I have huge plans for later chapters, and a war isn't fought from one side. In war, there's so many other people than just good and bad, and everything's just a mess. So yeah, I'm going to be adding other side characters as well as focusing more on students from other Houses later.**

 **(And the scene with the scarf—it's a symbol for Regulus' ties to the Muggle world.)**

 **Sorry for the long A/N! And thank you so, so much to the people who favorited and followed. And thank you to Himeno Kazehito, UniCryin, misherukuro, Llyrica, Black Eclipsed Soul, Madam3Mayh3m, DarkDust27, pipelite, TripleSmashTwins, tnle, mar888, Rose1414, lizy2000, We're All M-M-Mad Here, shugokage, Goldspark1, BasicallyComplicated, Scaevus, Aleiaa, Guest (1), Guest (2), ThisUsernameIsIndecisive, Zeru'Xil, Syadow, Guest (3), Sketchbananafairy, and Amequa! All these reviews seriously make my day, and they inspire me to write more, even when I'm in a writer's block (which happens way too often for my liking.)**

* * *

 **Replies to guest reviews:**

 **Goldspark1: Thank YOU for always reviewing! You always say something insightful, and it helps me a lot when I write other chapters.**

 **The broken relationship between Regulus and Sirius causes me pain, and I still hold on to the futile hope that it can be repaired. (Well, kind of repaired.)**

 **I think it's pretty hard to keep looking at people as pawns. After a while, you begin to realize that they have their own lives, families, memories, etc. and it's hard to stay detached from this your whole life. (And yes, it's a bad thing… mostly.)**

 **I'm going over the whole jealousy thing later (when they get older) but here's it in a nutshell—Lily is like 14ish right now, and she's still a child in Zinnia's eyes. It's hard to be jealous of a child, and Lily embodies all the traits that Zinnia admires, and she's more focused on trying to protect her than feel jealous of what she has. Petunia has a less mature mindset, and she has self-esteem issues.**

 **Haha, yeah, Reyna knows everything. I kind of hold the headcanon that the Blacks are really mysterious and no one really knows what's up with them, so it's better to get the info from the source itself. But yeah, Reyna is a good route for info as well.**

 **Ah, I really, really want to cover the subject of the difference between the Muggle and Wizarding worlds, because there are HUGE differences. Especially in the way they live. Like wizards can even reach immortality, they can fix whatever breaks, they have unlimited healing, the list goes on. I'm revising my earlier chapters to include that, but I'm also putting it into future chapters (somehow). I could get into a whole discussion with you on this, but my reply would be like a page or two long, and I don't know if you want to read through all of that, haha.**

 **Guest (1): Thank you! And yes, Sirius will be in the story, he's just not playing a major role in it right now. I hope this chapter had some of the Sirius parts that you wanted, though it's from Regulus' POV.**

 **Guest (2): Oh my gosh, your review made me laugh out loud! (Though I suppose it's not** _ **that**_ **futile, haha.) Some of the ship names sound pretty ridiculous, especially zinnulus (sorry). Seriously, LOL. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Guest (3): Ah, yes, peaceful for now. And yup, it's hard to control fate—almost impossible, one could say. Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	15. and let your colors bleed

"We're going to be late if we don't leave in five minutes." Severus nagged, for the tenth time in the past two minutes.

Zinnia was staring at her trunk with a contemplative expression and sighed heavily in response to Severus. "You know, you remind me of a grumpy old man for like 95% of the time I'm around you."

"Where is the lie?" Lily murmured, amusement coloring her tone as she desperately tried to shove a multitude of items into her trunk to no avail. She let out a frustrated growl and slammed her palms down onto the front of her trunk, trying in vain to close the cover.

Severus glared at Zinnia. "I've been sitting here for _ages_. I swear, you two are slower than the three toed slugs we had to 'observe' for Grubblyplank's class."

"Below the belt, Severus, below the belt." Zinnia deadpanned, remembering the notorious three toed slugs in Care of Magical Creatures and their inability to actually do anything.

It had been a frustrating day for all of the third year students. Lily and Severus had repeated the tale passionately, remembering the sheer horror of the fifty minutes of class spent sitting there and staring at slugs that literally did nothing but stare back with creepy eyes that popped out.

Severus rolled his eyes but a small quirk of the mouth betrayed his mirth.

"Want to help me if you're just going to sit there and do nothing?" Lily flashed him a strained smile that conveyed her internal screaming.

Trying to choke back a grin at Lily's expense, Severus pressed his lips together as he observed the chaos that was Lily's trunk. "Why do you have so much stuff, anyway?"

"Lily, we literally wear the same thing every day." Zinnia said dryly, glancing over at Lily, who was currently trying to shove another three sweaters into the pile of clothes bulging out of her trunk.

"It's winter! And that means sweaters, gloves, scarves, hats, and not to mention, fuzzy socks." Lily pushed her long hair out of her face and shoved a large box into Severus' hands. "Plus, I forgot to ask Remus for his address before we left for break and I couldn't send him his Christmas present." Agitation colored Lily's voice and she snatched the box back from Severus who was standing there dumbly, unsure of where to put the box. "Oh, can't you be a little less useless?" She snapped, squeezing the box into what little space was left.

Severus, who was used to Lily's quick temper by now, took her sharp words in stride. "Yes, yes, sorry for being useless." He refrained from making a sarcastic remark lest she shove a sock into his mouth for being annoying.

(It'd happened once, when Severus had kept making comments on Lily's Potions paper as she tried to write out the paper before it was due. She'd had five essays that day, and her temper had been—well, not stable—and she'd shoved one of the socks Potter had tried to give her as a "keepsake" into Severus' mouth. Needless to say, it hadn't been a pleasant experience for Severus.)

Suddenly remembering with obsessive acuteness that Lily had referred one of the Marauders in a friendly tone, his face twisted, making him looks as if he'd eaten a particularly sour lemon. "And why are you giving a present to _Lupin_?" Severus spat out the word "Lupin" with disgust.

"He's my Gryffindor study buddy! And he's a really nice guy." Lily stoutly defended the only one of the Marauders she could actually hold an amiable conversation with.

"Even if he's best friends with Potter and Black?" Potter and Black were Severus' eternal tormentors, and to say that there was bad blood between them would be putting it lightly.

"Yes, Sev, Remus is so much nicer than those two. He and Peter aren't so bad—Potter and Black are just the worst." Remus was more often than not in the library, leading to him forming a bond with his fellow hard worker—Lily.

"Are you kidding me? Pettigrew tries way too hard to be like Potter and Black when he's really just their slave. There's nothing good about Pettigrew, trust me." Severus commented scathingly, but not denying Lily's opinion on Remus.

Making an angry noise, Lily focused the brunt of her stare on Severus. "Must we do this _every time_? There's nothing wrong with Peter, he's just shy and misunderstood. Why do you have to call him a slave? It's not like that." Then she hesitated, looking unsure. "Most of the time." She added, her voice lowering. Determined not to give into Severus, she added, "But that's because Potter and Black always force him!"

"Uh, Lils, can we bring Muggle objects into Hogwarts?" Zinnia asked, quickly interjecting into the age-old conversation and effectively cutting the two off. She was staring at her closed trunk and hoping she wouldn't get caught trying to smuggle lightbulbs into Hogwarts.

Wisely, Severus kept his mouth shut and didn't continue his argument with Lily.

Lily zipped her trunk closed with a grunt, and letting out a breath of relief and sitting down with a tired plop. She glanced over at her sister. "Sure, they've done it before. I got Remus a few Muggle books and I'm bringing that to school. Why do you ask?"

Zinnia tried not to look suspicious. "Uh, nothing much." She racked her head for a plausible excuse. "I'm just want to bring a few pens to school since they're easier to use than quills."

"Oh, that's brilliant!" Lily grinned, "Why didn't I think of that before?" She ran to her desk to grab a few pens but paused. "I don't think I want to open my trunk again, though."

Zinnia snorted and went to her desk, taking a handful of pens and shoving it in her trunk. "Don't worry, you can use some of mine."

"Are we even allowed to use pens?" Severus looked skeptical.

"Don't be such a worrywart!" Lily said cheerfully, patting him on the shoulder. He sighed exasperatedly.

"We should go." Zinnia picked up her trunk and waited for Lily to heave hers up and leave the room before following her. She trailed behind Severus and Lily, turning to close the bedroom door behind them with a gentle click of the knob.

Her fingers trailed off the knob and she took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the shit storm that was Hogwarts.

(Somewhere along the way, Hogwarts had lost its magic for her.)

* * *

Regulus could tell that 98% of his birthday presents were all from suck ups who wanted to ally with the Black family, or at least get on their good side.

Still, it wasn't like he didn't want the presents. Being part of a family with such high status did have its benefits at times.

He carefully shrugged off his coat, placing it on the edge of his bed.

He'd only been at Hogwarts for a few days, but his room was already flooded with presents and he was beginning to run out of space for his personal items. Frankly, it was getting quite irritating, and though the presents were a plus, he was beginning to wish the influx would stop.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of his roommates, Owen Davies, a half-blood, stare at all the presents with an irritated sort of jealousy.

Regulus rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore Davies as he usually did. They had never really gotten along—Davies' hatred of privileged Purebloods and Regulus' general annoyance with irrationally angry people (or maybe just 97% of the population) led them to have a less than cordial relationship.

Davies was the odd one out in the room—it was him, Regulus, Rowan Parkinson, and Evan Rosier—as Davies was the only half-blood.

Regulus stretched and sighed heavily, before carelessly shoving all of his presents into the corner of his area, piling them on after the other until they teetered in a tower that stretched nearly as tall as Regulus.

Satisfied, he settled down at his desk and pulled out his Transfiguration textbook, going over the day's lesson. McGonagall was the toughest teacher he had, in his opinion, and her papers were never easy to write. Leave it up to her to assign them an essay the first week back.

After a while, he noticed a shadow fall over his textbook and he looked up to see Davies standing there, his arms crossed in a confrontational stance.

"Aren't you going to open your presents?" He sneered, giving Regulus a dirty look.

Regulus felt his temper rising again. All he wanted was to be left alone, but he could never catch a break, could he? "And why would I do that?" He drawled, his tone deceptively calm, belying the storm building up inside of him.

"It's polite!" Snapped Davies, a red flush of fury rising on his face.

Ah. Regulus inwardly smirked, a realization dawning upon him at Davies' anger. He goaded him on, making sure to keep his expression neutral. "And it's only polite to open them when you aren't here, Davies. After all, I wouldn't want you to be hurt when you see all the things that I have and you don't."

Davies' face turned a mottled red, and his fists clenched at his side, fury clawing its way onto his face despite his efforts to stay calm.

Regulus couldn't stop the bite of vindictive pleasure that flashed through him. _Got him._

"You utter _arsehole_." Davies snarled, visibly holding himself back from attacking Regulus.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you not want me to tell the truth?" Regulus simpered, the cutting winds inside him that had been steadily building up since the conversation fueling his words with a violent force that belied his calm demeanor.

He watched rage flare in Davies' eyes, the shame and anger brought on by words that hit too close to home.

(It was almost therapeutic, causing other people pain—a dark, vicious part of him thrummed with glee at seeing the hurt in others; the hurt that was festering in his own soul. He wanted them to _feel_ the pain.

It was messed up, he knew, but he needed this.)

" _Fuck you_." Davies hissed, "My parents spent a whole _day_ finding a present for you, and spent a third of my father's monthly income on it. Instead of buying something for themselves, or supplies that I need, they spent it on _you_. You don't deserve shit."

Regulus laughed, a cruel, cold thing that he almost wished hadn't been a sound that he made. "Why should I care? Your parents are nothing to me."

 _Just like you_.

The unspoken words echoed in the tension around them, and Regulus could practically see the words hit Davies like an _Impediment_ jinx, the blow throwing him back a few metaphorical meters.

And he knew what was going to happen next, as sure as the sky above him—

Davies whipped out his wand at the same time Regulus did, the magic in Regulus already starting to stir in his blood, pushing forth a rush of adrenalin as his body automatically shifted into the offensive stance that had been drilled into him since he was a child.

Swiftly casting a Biting jinx on Davies' shoes a second before Davies cast a hex, Davies stumbled at the sudden sting of pain, causing his hex to go awry and hit the wall instead of its intended target.

Regulus raised his arm again, an _Expulso_ curse on the tip of his tongue, right as Evan burst into the room, a frown marring his face.

Evan stared at the two of them—Regulus with his arm raised and ferocious and frighteningly eager expression, and Davies with scowl and trying not to yelp in pain as his shoes bit down harder and harder on his feet. "What exactly is going on here?"

Regulus lowered his wand arm, the magic inside him already slowing its frenzy, the sparks erupting beneath his skin fizzing away. "Nothing." He answered coolly, "Isn't that right, Davies?"

All he got was a growl in return, but Davies didn't say anything to refute the claim and left the room, slamming the door behind him, presumably looking for someone to reverse the jinx on him.

"You alright, mate?" Evan stared at him with a gaze both worried and hesitant, as if recognizing the monster under Regulus' skin and exercising the proper caution.

"I'm fine." He said curtly, already slipping his wand back in its holster.

(But really, he wasn't. He knew that deep, deep down inside, so deep that he refused to acknowledge it.

[Regulus felt tired and angry all the time. He felt like he was constantly walking on a thin wire, his magic crackling beneath his skin and just waiting to snap.

He was scared, alone, and so, so tired.

And everything made him frustrated, whether it was an A on a paper or his brother's blatant cold shoulder. The rage building up in him simmered beneath his skin, crashing against his magic and leaving him on edge all the damn time.]

…Fuck. He was supposed to be a Black, and he couldn't even control his emotions.)

"Alright." Evan looked skeptical but left him alone, understanding Regulus' need for solitude at the moment. "I'll be in the Common Room if you need me."

Regulus nodded, gratitude heavy in his mouth, but didn't say anything.

Perhaps Evan understood this, because he inclined his head, so slightly that Regulus almost didn't notice it, and left.

Regulus sunk on his bed, abandoning all pretense of decorum, and flopped onto his back, his arm covering his eyes.

A bitter laugh bubbled in him. If only Sirius could see him now. Regulus wasn't the perfect child, and he never had been.

(If only Sirius could see that.)

He sighed, feeling horribly empty, like a shell that had been hollowed of everything that made people human.

(But his rage simmered beneath the surface—it was always, always there.

Even so, he was still empty.

Nothing.)

He lay there for Merlin knows how long, before heaving himself up, dragging his feet over to his desk, and staring at his Transfiguration textbook.

He had an essay to write, and it weighed as heavily on his mind as his personal problems, just adding to the never-ending pile labeled "Shit Regulus Has to Deal With".

Shoving his papers and textbook into his bag, he left the room, knowing it would be too hard to concentrate in that empty, empty room.

He made his way to the library, ignoring all the people who tried to wish him a happy birthday in the Slytherin Common Room.

The library was almost always full—mostly with Ravenclaws and Slytherins—but Regulus had one spot in the far corner of the library that people either didn't notice or were too lazy to haul their stuff over to.

It was nice, quiet, disconnected from everyone else, yet not.

Sometimes, there were other people there, but he didn't mind them as they were as unwilling to socialize as him. It was a rather small table, only big enough for four or five people.

He nearly stopped in his tracks when he saw a head of short red hair, but kept going and calmly placed his things on the empty side of the table.

Evans looked up from the other side of the table, noting his presence, but made no movement or sound of acknowledgement.

Regulus felt the tiniest hint of disappointment, so small that it was barely there.

He had just cracked open the textbook and was about to start reading when he heard, "Happy birthday."

Surprised, he looked at Evans, but she kept her eyes fixed resolutely on her book.

For some reason, this "happy birthday" sounded a lot more sincere.

Not bothering to say thanks, he went on with his reading, managing to fill up one page for his paper when Evans finally started packing up to leave.

Noticing the sudden sound, he glanced up to see a glimpse of the spine of the book she had been reading. It read "Secrets of Hogwarts for the Ages". He stowed that particular piece of information away, remembering his meeting with Evans at Ye Old Curiosity Shop.

In Knockturn Alley, of all places.

As soon as she was finished packing, she took the textbook from Regulus' hands—so abruptly that he didn't have time to resist—and flipped to a completely different page and thrusting it back in front of him.

"You were looking in the wrong place, idiot." She said, her tone flat but with a hint of exasperation.

The tips of his ears burned with embarrassment, and he thanked Merlin that it didn't show on his face. He scowled, pulling the book towards him and refusing to look her in the eye.

How had he missed that? At this rate, he was going to fail all his classes. He made a promise to himself to stop dallying around and to focus on his studies as much as possible.

(Evans, of all people, had shown him the right page. Evans. She'd only gotten an A in Transfiguration, a sharp contrast to Regulus' O.

Merlin, he needed to get his shit together.)

After a beat—that was both awkward and somehow understanding—, she said, "See you", and left the library.

Regulus managed to finish his essay in an hour, a huge relief to the usual five hours he spent on a Transfiguration paper.

His mind involuntarily wandered to the soft blue scarf folded in the corner of his trunk, and he wondered if Sirius had bothered to get him a birthday present.

* * *

Arin walked calmly with his friends as he left his Charms class, making sure to laugh and interject a joke every now and then in the conversation.

He was good at pretending that everything was okay.

The forever-burning mark on his arm begged otherwise.

He would always feel it, always.

It rode with him as a parasite would, leeching off of his happiness and comfort, an indelible scar that ride with him through the end of time.

Everywhere he went, he felt it, searing his arm, because even though his sleeve covered it, he always saw it.

Even after placing a Disillusionment charm on his mark, he still could see it.

It was as if it was burned into his eyeballs, an image tied with the horrors he had committed, a constant reminder of how he wasn't human anymore.

(But he had to do it. He _had_ to, He wasn't going to let Voldemort kill his family. Never.)

And so, it was with this thought that he continued living his life, even though he'd just tortured someone, listening to her screams scratch through his heart, leaving permanent scars.

He had seen her die.

(So brave, so defiant in the face of utter darkness—

He could only wish to be like that.)

"Arin." A sharp voice interrupted his disoriented mood. He stopped, his friends stopping with him, and turned to see Zinnia Evans, looking as short and serious as usual.

"How's it going, shortstuff?" He teased, saying the words with an air of nonchalance and ease that covered his uncertainties with expertise.

Predictably, she scowled. "Don't call me that. And you owe me a chess match." Her eyes bore into his with a weight that was too heavy for a second year. It burned him, just like the mark burned his arm. "We still have that match left over from last semester, _remember_?" She placed a heavy emphasis on "remember" as if she were trying to tell him something else.

Arin raised an eyebrow. He remembered no such thing but he played along. "Oh yeah!" He said, giving a sheepish and self-deprecating smile, "I nearly forgot."

"That's because you did forget." Zinnia deadpanned, shooting him a look mixed with exasperation and relief that he went along with her words.

He turned to his friends, grinning confidently. "You guys head on without me. I gotta cream shortstuff here in a chess match."

They shrugged, waving their goodbyes to him and heading off to the lake. Classes were over for the day, and they still had plenty of time to kill.

As soon as they disappeared out of sight, Arin dropped the smile. "So, what's wrong?"

Zinnia gave him an unreadable look. His mark itched uncomfortably. "Nothing. I really do want to play a chess match."

Arin snorted with disbelief. "Sure you do. C'mon, let's head back to the dorms. I've got a chess set there."

He knew she was smart enough to read between the lines—they'd be away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers, where they could have a private conversation.

"Okay." She replied, easily falling into step with him.

"How're classes?" He asked pleasantly, trying to make conversation. (Well, he was actually trying to keep tabs on her, but no one ever said he couldn't do it nicely.)

Zinnia gave him a dry look, as if she knew what he was thinking—he had no doubt that she did (she was way too perceptive for his liking sometimes, but it was a trait he both appreciated and feared)—and let out an annoyed breath. "You know that I hate sitting in class and I rarely ever pay attention."

Laughing, he slung a friendly arm around her shoulder. It was a bit awkward, as Zinnia was shorter than the normal second year, but she didn't flinch or try to shove his arm off, which he counted as a victory. "Okay, okay. Anything interesting?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's kind of freaky how you can change moods so quickly."

"Stop dodging the question." Arin said, in turn going back to her question and moving her attention away from her comment. He was an actor—someone who saw underneath others, delving below the surface, while hiding his true feelings under layers and layers of different words and actions.

It was an art, something that he'd practiced a long time to perfect. (And it was perfect for him as a Death Eater, hiding his disgust and horror under a mask of cold indifference.)

"Then _you_ stop dodging _my_ questions." Zinnia retorted, catching onto Arin's attempt at diverting the conversation.

"What question?" He asked cheekily, giving her an innocent smile.

"Merlin, you're hopeless." Zinnia sighed, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

Arin put his hand in front of her, palm facing upwards. "Need help?"

"No." Zinnia said, the word chilly and barbed with irritation.

Chuckling again, he moved his hand and ruffled her hair. "That's my girl." He knew exactly how to needle her without making her temper explode, while paying her a compliment. (It was double-edged, as everything with Arin was.)

"Stop that." She snapped, pushing his hand away but leaving her hair in the tousled mess Arin had left in in. "And I'm not 'your girl'."

"Alright Zeze." He teased, using another name she loathed.

"Merlin, why do I put up with you?" Zinnia raised her eyes to the ceiling as if praying for patience. She stepped on his foot with a forceful vindictiveness that had Arin wincing and smiling wryly. "Oops." She said monotonously, "My foot slipped."

Arin shook his head fondly. It was no wonder they got along so well—they both had a mild ruthless streak that had other students making sure to never mess with them as well as a vicious sense of humor, and frankly, Zinnia never really acted like a thirteen year old.

It was weird, being friends with someone four years younger than him, but for some reason, it worked.

(But he had his suspicions—there were times when Zinnia had an old, weary look in his eyes that he had only ever seen in his parents.

Something had happened to give her that look. But he didn't know what.)

They were almost at the Slytherin Common Room when he heard muffled banging and shouting from a room that was usually empty.

"Do you hear that?" He frowned, his eyes narrowing and glinting with interest.

"It's coming from that room." Zinnia pointed to a room with the door shut, and Arin immediately zeroed in on it.

His light humor faded away, a deadly and grim expression taking its place. He dropped his arm from Zinnia's shoulder and reached for his wand, busting open the door in one smooth move.

At the loud bang, a group of Slytherin boys in Arin's year looked up, first anger taking over their faces and then sliding into fear.

"A-Arin." Stuttered Cavendish, slowly backing away from Arin.

"It's Rosier to you, Cavendish." He said coolly, with a composure that hinted at a world of pain for the Slytherin boys if they didn't stop attacking the poor guy behind them.

"Sorry." Squeaked Cavendish, and he looked nervously behind him, muttering, "C'mon, let's go."

They scurried out of the room, leaving behind a slim figure huddled into a ball, a tangle of arms and legs.

Arin approached the boy, crouching down and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Zinnia knelt down behind him as well, pointing her wand at the boy and murmuring a few words under her breath. A glimmer of rage appeared in her eyes, and she quickly uttered a few more spells.

"What was that?" Arin stared at her.

Zinnia shrugged easily, "Just an examination of the damage and some healing spells." Her expression darkened. "Those bastards bruised his ribs so badly he has internal bleeding."

" _What_?" Glancing at the boy roughly, he cursed under his breath. How long had this been going on? And how had it escaped his notice?

The boy tentatively raised his head from his arms to look at them, and Arin tried not to draw in a sharp breath.

 _No wonder_ he had been bullied so badly. It was Jonathan King.

Upon seeing his expression, Zinnia frowned. "What?"

Arin shook his head. "Nothing." He lifted the King into his arms, ignoring the fifth year's feeble yelp of protest, and proceeded to carry him to the hospital wing; bridal style, making sure not to jostle his ribs.

From his side he heard Zinnia try to stifle a snicker at the horrified and immensely flustered look on King's face.

"Put me down!" Whispered King hoarsely, a bright blush covering his face. He flailed weakly for a bit, but winced.

Arin rolled his eyes. "Just stop moving and you'll be okay."

Zinnia let out a breath of amusement as King brooded in silence, stewing in his embarrassment, and Arin focused on getting him to the hospital wing as quickly as possible.

After a long silence King finally spoke up. "Arin Rosier. Why did you save me?" He sounded broken, and Arin's anger surged once again at the thought of his bullies.

"Because no one deserves to get beat up like that." He said, making sure his tone was gentle.

Zinnia nodded solemnly, but looked at King curiously, and Arin knew she was trying to figure out why he had been bullied.

King turned his face into Arin's sweater, letting out a choked sob.

Arin's grip on King tightened and he wished he could curse Cavendish and his cronies into the next week.

(He couldn't help but think of another day, another time, when he'd tortured someone.)

They burst into the hospital wing, startling Madam Pomfrey, who was trying to mix a potion.

"Oh my!" She exclaimed, and immediately began to fuss over King as Arin placed him down on an empty bed.

Zinnia bit her lip and edged towards Madam Pomfrey. "Could you not mention this to anyone?" She asked.

Affairs in Slytherin were kept as quiet as possible—especially bullying. Slytherins tended to avoid the hospital wing as much as possible. The more people in on their activities, the harder it was to keep the system they had.

It wasn't that Slytherins condoned bullying—in fact, most of them heavily disproved of it—but exposing bullying would mean exposing the duels, the black market, the chess competitions, and a whole boatload of things that Slytherins tended to get in on.

(But Slytherins watched out for each other, and so, bullying wasn't actually that big of a problem in their House.)

Madam Pomfrey gave Zinnia a long look, but Arin could see the underlying trust and fondness in it. "Alright." She agreed, reluctantly.

"Thank you." Zinnia said, quietly and sincerely.

Madam Pomfrey just shook her head, muttering under her breath about crazy Slytherins and tended to King.

"I guess I'll stay to help out Madam Pomfrey." Zinnia told Arin, silently offering an invitation for him to stay as well. They had gotten a favor from Madam Pomfrey, and it was only natural that she would repay it.

"I'll do the same." Arin answered nonchalantly. It wasn't as if he was wasting his time by staying. And he didn't have much to do anyway.

Zinnia hustled over to Madam Pomfrey, taking over the potions with an ease that spoke of experience and skill—she'd obviously been here many times before.

There was a familiarity in her interactions with Madam Pomfrey that outlined their relationship, and Arin wasn't surprised that Zinnia had found a mentor in the resident mediwitch.

He began to pull up a chair next to King's bed, but Madam Pomfrey shook her head sternly. "Either you leave or you help. Don't get in the way."

Arin shuffled over to Zinnia, unsure of what to do.

"Here." She shoved a potion in his hands. "Stir it three times counter clockwise, wait exactly thirty seconds, then another five stirs counterclockwise, wait forty six seconds, and then stir fifty nine times clockwise."

Startled by the sudden influx of information, Arin blinked a few times rapidly and committed her words to memory.

By the time Madam Pomfrey was finished treating King, Arin's arms were aching.

"How do you do this all the time?" He groaned, looking at Zinnia and Madam Pomfrey who were hovering over another potion.

"So weak." Sniffed Zinnia, smirking at him. Madam Pomfrey quirked a smile. "You get used to it."

Arin stared at her with a hint of awe. "I will never underestimate a Healer ever again."

Madam Pomfrey snorted at this, and turned back to the potion.

Setting down the finished potion, he dropped into the chair next to King's bed with a sigh of relief.

King was staring at him, his brown eyes filled with a myriad of emotions that Arin couldn't decipher. It bothered him, because he rarely met people he couldn't read.

Perhaps it was because King felt _too much_. He was too open, too free with his words.

Arin was surprised King was even a Slytherin instead of a Gryffindor.

"How often does this happen?" He asked softly.

King shifted his gaze. "Often enough." He admitted, nearly inaudibly.

Arin paused. "I see." He finally said, his mind already whirring with plans that would make Cavendish back off.

He knew Evan had been in on the whole fiasco with Mulciber, and apparently Regulus had planned it all out. The kid was a genius—it had been hushed enough for them not to get in trouble, but still spread the rumors, making the other Slytherins wary of the group of second years.

(Especially Zinnia. When Arin had first heard about it, he hadn't felt shocked at all; he'd guessed that she'd get involved in something like this. And now she had a fearsome reputation, just like she had always wanted.)

"Don't." King's voice was reserved, but strong. "I can see what you're thinking. Whatever you do, they won't stop."

"How do you know they won't stop?"

"I tried to fight back before." King stopped, washed over with bad memories. "It didn't end well."

Crossing his arms over his chest, he raised an eyebrow. "Except I have a much larger…arsenal of spells I can use. And I know how to deal with people like Cavendish."

King's eyes lingered over him before he quickly turned away. "Do what you want. I don't care anymore." He muttered angrily, effectively cutting off the conversation.

They sat in silence until Zinnia came over. "I'm done." She said, "Let's go. We've still got a chess match to play."

Arin got up. "See you around, Jonathan King."

He received no reply and he got up, leaving the hospital wing and waving a goodbye to Madam Pomfrey.

"Thank you!" King suddenly blurted, and Arin turned around, surprised. King was looking everywhere but him, a bold flush once again covering his face.

Arin laughed easily. "You're welcome."

He glanced at Zinnia, who was watching King with a piercing gaze, and he saw a flash of understanding in her eyes when she glanced up at Arin.

Arin tilted his head, regarding her seriously. She'd figured out something, and Arin had an inkling he knew what it was.

She flashed him an irritated glare. "Quit being so intimidating. It's freaking me out."

He grinned widely, breaking the tense moment. "Do I really look that intimidating?"

" _Yes_." Zinnia stressed the word and nodded a goodbye at King as well as calling out a goodbye to Madam Pomfrey before walking out.

"So, we still having that chess game?" Arin asked pleasantly, hiding the unease in his chest.

The talk must be _really_ serious if she still was pursuing the chess game.

"Of course." She answered. Arin's mark burned.

(He knew, knew, as certain as the heart beating in his chest, that she'd somehow figured it out.

Somehow.)

After a moment, Zinnia spoke. "King's homosexual, isn't he?" There was a certainty in her voice that showcased her perception—the same perception that Arin feared.

"Yeah." He confirmed, the word echoing in the empty silence around them.

Zinnia hummed. "I see. Does King like you?"

Arin shook his head. "No, we've only spoken a few times, and it was barely a conversation." At Zinnia's skeptical look, he added, "Besides, it's easy to confuse a crush with admiration."

"True." Zinnia conceded, but he could tell she didn't completely believe him.

Arin really had only met King a few times, the first time only to meet the boy his friends had been talking about for the past week—the only openly gay male in Slytherin.

He knew, with bold certainty, that King in no way, shape, or form liked him. It really was too easy to confuse a crush with admiration, especially when King had been bullied for so long.

"I'm surprised they managed to hide the bullying from you." Zinnia spoke up, commenting on the one thing that had been bothering them the whole time.

Arin sighed heavily. "There's a lot of discrimination against gays. They're hated just as much as Muggleborns. King's a half-blood _and_ a gay. Plenty of people hate him enough to hide and cover it up for Cavendish."

Zinnia raised her eyebrows. "Why does the Wizarding community hate homosexuals so much?"

Arin glanced at her. "Do _you_ hate them?"

Zinnia rolled her eyes. "Why would I? There's nothing about them to hate. We're all the same."

"That's a surprisingly open view. I would have thought the Muggle world was equally as homophobic."

Zinnia winced, a flash of panic running through her eyes before it was covered up with calm indifference. "I wasn't raised to be homophobic."

Arin nodded. "There's half the answer to your question. Magical folk are raised to hate homosexuals simply because the Wizarding community is so small. The Purebloods are getting fewer and fewer, and procreation is encouraged among us, so you pretty much have to be straight if you want to be a Pureblood. As for the other half of the answer, well, I think it's just that we hate anyone who's 'different'."

"But some don't hate them." Zinnia said more than asked, looking straight at him.

"I'll admit, I was a bit uncomfortable at first, but I realized there was nothing different about King."

"Muggles and wizards are more alike than they think." Zinnia said, probably thinking of the homophobia also present in the Muggle community.

"Unfortunately." Arin added.

Zinnia hummed again, looking forward.

The conversation dwindled off, and Arin was content to walk in silence.

They finally reached his dorm and settled down, Arin taking out the chess board and Zinnia finding a comfortable spot on the floor.

"You think you're ever going to beat me?" He gave her a goading smile.

Zinnia narrowed her eyes, "Oh, shut up. You know I will."

"Do I?" Arin's smile was sharp. "So what did you want to talk about?" He asked, as he moved his white pawn two spaces forward.

"Nothing much." Zinnia stared at the board, analyzing all the possible moves and trying to predict his strategy. "How was your winter break?"

It was a simple, innocent question, and Arin shrugged. "It was okay." His mark burned against his arm, and his fist clenched.

"Anything happen?" She asked, as the two sped through a series of moves, progressing into the middle of the game quickly.

Arin furrowed his eyebrows—the question was as simple as the previous one, but he couldn't help but feel there was something more to it. "Not much. Just a bunch of Pureblood parties."

"Oh yeah." Zinnia said, moving her knight forward, "I heard about the Malfoy party from Severus."

"Yeah, I remember seeing Snape there with his mum. That was their first party in a long time." Arin moved his rook.

"Aren't the Malfoys a predominantly Dark family?" Zinnia asked, staring at the board and trying to counter Arin's move.

"They are, but so are most of the other Pureblood families." Arin hesitated, "Like mine."

"Hm." Zinnia moved her knight again, pushing forward and taking Arin's bishop. "So was there anything interesting at the party? I mean, there were a bunch of Pureblood families, right? Surely _something_ must have happened."

"Not really. They were as boring and stuffy as usual." Zinnia took a pawn and Arin grimaced. "Just mostly talk about L-Voldemort." He caught himself, nearly saying "Lord Voldemort".

Zinnia's eyes glinted and she countered his attack, placing her rook and bishop in a tricky position. "I'm not surprised. Wasn't there an attack on a Muggle house a few weeks ago? I heard the girl was a Squib and Voldemort killed her."

The mark on Arin's arm seared, blazing through his skin and making him feel as though his arm was on fire. He ignored it, playing it off with an unnoticeable wince and another counter attack to Zinnia's. "Yeah. His power's rising faster than I expected."

Zinnia nodded, scrutinizing the board once again. "I was so surprised when I read the paper. Lils and I were eating dinner with our family when we got the paper. Lily was so shocked and horrified that she couldn't even finish eating." She moved her queen. "What about you?"

Arin's finger slipped off his bishop but he recovered quickly. "The same as you. Just eating dinner with Evan."

Zinnia's grip on her queen tightened. "Except Evan wasn't eating dinner with you." She moved her queen again.

Time stopped; a single, terrifying moment. It gripped his heart with talons, and he swore his heart froze in his chest. " _What_?" He croaked.

Zinnia continued speaking casually as if she just hadn't called Arin out on his lie. "I asked Evan a while ago, and he said he had to eat dinner alone because your parents were out. It totally sucked for him."

She looked up at him and cocked her head, eyes eerily blank. "So where were you?"

Arin's hands were clutching his king so tightly the blood stopped flowing to his knuckles, leaving them a ghostly white.

"Fuck." He gasped, gulping in a breath. " _Fuck_. I—I— _fuck!_ " He slammed his king onto the ground beside him.

Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, he realized that he'd given the reaction that confirmed Zinnia's suspicions.

 _This_ was why he hated her perception.

"It's okay." Zinnia said quietly, "I get it."

Arin let go of a shuddering breath. "It's _not okay_. I tortured someone—fucking _tortured_ them. How can that be okay?"

Zinnia bit her lip, looking uncertain. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, because you did what you had to do." She frowned uncertainly and looked at Arin. "Right?"

"I had to save my family. I _had to_." He choked, "You don't understand—you don't—he was going to kill Evan—he—" Arin cut himself off, clutching his burning arm tightly.

It hurt, so, so much.

(But he was almost glad it hurt, glad that he felt the pain that the woman had felt when she was being tortured.)

"Does your mark hurt?" Zinnia gestured towards his arm. She frowned, "It's not supposed to. Unless Voldemort is calling you."

"How would _you_ know?" Arin asked through gritted teeth, gripping his arm and trying not to scream.

"It might be all psychological." She said gently, "And I know because I know." It was frustratingly vague, but Arin was in too much pain to decipher it.

Zinnia hesitated and then added, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Arin gasped blinking through the blinding pain, "It was my decision. And I'm the one who should be sorry for losing my composure like this."

"Will it stop hurting?" Zinnia asked, reaching for her wand.

"I don't know."

She cast a painkilling spell on his arm, and the pain receded slightly.

"Thanks." Arin took deep breaths, focusing his eyes on the chess board in front of him.

The pain slowly faded to a dull throb, and Arin wanted to cry with relief.

Zinnia—bless her soul—stayed silent, not commenting on Arin's mini meltdown.

"So you're a Death Eater now." She finally said.

"I guess I am." He felt resigned to his fate—a Dark Mark could never be erased. And neither could his crimes.

Zinnia breathed slowly. "None of us are perfect." She glanced down at her lap, most likely thinking of Mulciber. "We do what we have to do."

"I'm not a hero." Arin murmured.

"And I never said you were." Zinnia answered. "But I don't think a war is won with just heroes." She bit her lip harshly, drawing blood. "I don't mind being a villain for Lily."

Arin saw the understanding in her eyes, the same fierce love she had for her sister reflected in him. They would protect their siblings, no matter what it took.

(He would do his best to make sure Evan never lived this kind of life.)

"Whatever you need, I'll do my best to help." Zinnia said, more of a promise than an offer.

Arin closed his eyes in gratitude. He opened them, and their gazes clashed. "I suppose you'll want all the inside information on Voldemort now?"

Zinnia nodded. "Whatever you can get." She handed him her king. "Checkmate. You win."

Arin laughed hollowly, placing both kings on her side. "I think it's you who won."

* * *

A few weeks had passed by her encounter with Arin, and Zinnia was just hoping for the school year to be over.

She felt bad for forcing Arin to talk about his experience like that, but she'd had to draw it out of him and confirm her dream.

Besides, she had an inside spy now. And after seeing Arin with King, she knew she could trust him.

So far, no one but her knew about Arin's role as a Death Eater, and she intended for it to stay that way.

Her mind was jumbled with thoughts and plans and worries, and she clutched three thick books in her hands, hurrying to the library. There was so much shit she needed to research, and she was still in the process of making a new rune.

She turned the corner and rammed straight into someone. Her books flew out of her hands, and her head throbbed.

"I'm really sorry." She said politely, gathering her books. Once she finished, she started to help the other person, only to see Remus Lupin.

She was close enough to see the burning gold of his eyes, and she knew his eye color wasn't normal.

Belatedly, she realized that Lupin was a fucking _werewolf_ , and tomorrow was the full moon.

And once again, she'd forgotten a crucial detail.

Sometimes she wondered how much of her memory actually worked.

"It's okay." He tried to give her a smile, but it was more of a grimace. His face was pale and haggard, the dark bags under his eyes giving him a heavy, starved look.

He fidgeted skittishly, and quickly gathered all his things.

"Hey! Remmy, you okay?" Called a loud, obnoxious voice, and Zinnia groaned quietly. Lupin flashed her an amused look before flinching and realizing that he wasn't supposed to be able to hear that.

"Hope you feel better. Bye." She said hurriedly, gathering her stuff and getting as far away from the demented duo, Potter and Black, as she could.

Lupin looked startled at her abruptness but waved goodbye to her.

"Was that mini Evans?" Asked Potter loudly. Zinnia scowled and resisted the urge to flip him off.

She was halfway to the library before realizing that she'd caught a glimpse of the Marauders Map when she'd bumped into Lupin.

She needed that map. Badly.

If she wanted to get out of the castle and give the Dragon's Blood and light bulbs to Edmund, she'd have to find a way out without getting caught. And the Marauder's Map was perfect for that.

Except there was no way she could get it. Especially since Potter had the advantage of an Invisibility Cloak.

Maybe she could as Lily to get it for her…?

Zinnia shook her head fiercely. There was no way Lily was going to do that, and she didn't want Lily knowing about her secret dealings.

She'd have to find a way out herself.

There had to be _somebody_ other than the Marauders that knew about secret passages.

* * *

 **A/N: So this chapter deals with homosexuality, homophobia, PTSD, and general angst. I tried my best to deal with the issue/portray them well, and I really hope I didn't offend anyone. ;-; I tried, I really did.**

 **(Zinnia is so horrible in this chapter, taking advantage of Arin's PTSD. That's NOT how you talk to someone who's just been through a traumatic experience. Also, Regulus is pretty horrible too. Though it's more of a bullying mentality for him and a way to deal with all the shit he's going though. His anger and frustration has no outlet, so he just takes it out on others.)**

 **I'm swamped with tons of stuff right now, so it's hard to update frequently, so I was wondering: Would it be better for me to update more quickly but post shorter chapters or post longer chapters and take a long time to update?**

 **And a huge thank you to Andy the willow tree for coming up with the idea of the whole situation with Remus!**

 **Anyway, thank you so, so, much to everyone who favorited and followed! And thank you to animemania659, We're All M-M-Mad Here, Zeru'Xil, NinjaDemonAngel, forgotten black sister, Noface, tnle, misherukuro, NatNicole, lizy2000, Goldspark1, annalavega, LyraxSlytherin, Scaevus, Guest, FreyaHawthorne, Himeno Kazehito, shugokage, Kookienova, Andy the willow tree, and Tessia for reviewing! I wish I could express all my gratitude but I have no idea how. So just know, I am insanely grateful for all the support this story has gotten.**

 **As usual, feel free to leave any comments and thanks for reading.**

* * *

 **Replies to guest reviews:**

 **Noface: Ahhhhh yes, Alan Rickman. RIP ;-;**

 **I'm so glad you like this story! And I love the pun, haha. I'm not gonna give out too much of a spoiler but I can say that Zinnia would be more likely to move them at the last minute. :)**

 **NatNicole: Thank you! And yup, it sucks to be alone, except that Zinnia has trouble realizing that she can't defeat Voldemort alone. And even though blood doesn't equal family, it still ties Regulus to the Blacks. (Unlike Sirius.)**

 **Goldspark1: I didn't know you weren't a member of the website-I'm really surprised you can keep up with all the updates, since you never get notifications, haha.**

 **Well, the scarf is pretty much open to interpretation-I think your symbol for the scarf is good! I don't really think Sirius is capable of thinking like that yet, but hopefully in the future he'll realize. Well, I don't think Severus will figure it out yet since Regulus isn't really wearing the scarf, but he'll definitely know once he sees it.**

 **Yeah, the future is fluid, so it's hard to predict and change events. Yup, Trewlaney is definitely going to play a bigger role in third year-I think there's going to be a struggle since usually there's only one Seer per generation, but now there's two, so it messes things up.**

 **Guest: Oh my gosh, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. (Or more like see it.) I was scared Zinnia would seem Mary-Sueish, so I'm really glad you don't think she is! Haha, it's definitely possible in the future for Regulus to like Zinnia. :)**

 **Kookienova: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm definitely continuing this story.**


	16. Interlude: Lily and James (not really)

**A/N: This is pretty much the longest I've ever gone without an update. I really have no excuses. It's the whole "wow I didn't write a chapter, meh, I'll just write it later" thing and then later becomes two months later. Whoops. But, I'm going to try to get back into writing this whole thing. So as some sort of an apology—here's a short drabble thing about the Gryffindors. This takes place in their fifth year, because apparently on the wiki it says that was when James started repeatedly asking Lily out. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

* * *

Warning: Bad puns ahead. Also, this is not a serious piece of writing.

* * *

"Hey. Hey, Evans." It was a bright and sunny Monday morning, and it was a universally acknowledged fact that James Potter was going to make a fool out of himself.

Lily reluctantly turned around from where she was lounging under the cool shade of a large oak tree with Marlene and Dorcas and fixed him with a scathing glare. " _What,_ Potter?"

He gave her a confident grin, his mouth curving in a cheekily roguish way that had all the other girls in the vicinity flushing. "If you were a flower, you'd be a _damnnnn_ delion."

The line was met with silence from Lily's part, and she merely raised an eyebrow at his futile effort. Sirius coughed loudly, practically hacking up a rib and Remus just sighed, placing a hand on his forehead.

James didn't seem to be affected and plowed on, unabashed. "Tough crowd, eh? Okay, okay, how about this?" He bent down on one knee so he faced Lily, hazel eyes meeting emerald green, and took her hand gently. Immediately looking disgusted, she tried to pull her hand away, but James held on tightly—or as Sirius would later describe, held on for dear life.

"If you were a flower, I'd pick you."

Lily finally succeeded in ripping her hand away with a vicious force that had James tumbling backwards onto his arse, landing in an embarrassing manner that had Sirius exploding into laughter on the sidelines. Remus shook his head. "Please, James, just stop. Just... Just stop."

Standing abruptly and leaving James to his scrambling on his ground as he fixed his glasses and tried to get to his feet, Lily grabbed her bag and dusted off her skirt. "I'm leaving." She announced resolutely.

James managed to regain his bearings in time to snatch Lily's wrist as she tried to walk away. "But—wait! I haven't finished yet. Evans, I lily like you!"

With a slow turn that promised pain, Lily fixed James with a stony stare. "And I lily _hate_ you."

There was a choking sound and everyone turned to see Sirius rolling on the floor, clutching his sides desperately. Remus winced, both for James and Sirius, and turned to Peter, the only member of the Marauders besides him who was closest to sanity. "I think I'm done for the day." He stated bluntly, his voice an exasperated deadpan.

With a flip of her long, red hair, Lily walked away. James watched her go with a slightly crestfallen look on his face.

Finally picking himself up from the floor, cheeks still flushed with mirth, Sirius comforted, "It's okay, Prongs." Sirius looked uncharacteristically solemn and all the bystanders shifted uncomfortably. Perhaps James was more upset than they had thought. "Daisy you rollin, they be hatin'." Everyone let out a collective groan and the crowd dissipated, now that the drama had ended.

"Padfoot." James turned to Sirius with teary eyes. "That was absolutely _brilliant_ , mate! You're _siriusly_ amazing."

Sirius placed a hand over his heart, sighing dramatically, as he if he were the main character in a tragic melodrama. "Oh, Prongs, you're the light of my life. My soulmate. If you were a girl, I'd ask you if you wanted to press our tulips together."

"Oh, Padfoot." James wiped a tear away from his face. "I wish we could be together, but we can't. You're just too _pawsome_ for me."

" _Prongs_." Sirius sniffed emotionally. "My deer, I'll always love youuuu." He draped his arms around James in an exaggerated hug. James returned the hug and they clutched each other, crying crocodile tears.

Remus tried not to slam his head into the tree trunk. He heaved a sigh and pulled out his wand. Desperate times called for desperate measures. "If you two don't stop, I _will_ hex you." Brandishing his wand threateningly, he jabbed it in the direction of his two best friends.

"Moony, no! Don't betray us like this!" Sirius let go of James and ran forward, tackling Remus in a hug that knocked them to the floor. He pinned Remus' forearms to the floor and shouted over his shoulder, "Go, Prongs, run! Run while you can—save yourself!"

James gravely saluted Sirius. "I'll never forget your sacrifice."

Remus stopped struggling and let his body flop bonelessly onto the floor. He sometimes wondered about what had become of his life.

* * *

 **A/N: Just kidding, this was pretty much crack. (Well, I imagine it's some of the shit the Marauders get up to.) I don't even know what happened. It wasn't even a serious drabble. Sorry. Please forgive my insane whims. To those who wanted more of the Marauders, well, here you go. To those who didn't, well, sorry. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

 **(I'll give a real update as soon as I can, I promise. I was losing motivation for this fic, so this actually helped put me back on track.)**


	17. and blend with mine

Getting someone to do you a favor in Slytherin was not always an easy thing, and it was even harder if you didn't have anything they wanted.

But it was even harder to get a Slytherin to divulge his/her secrets.

It was especially difficult for Zinnia, because her position in Slytherin was still undecided. She was respected, of course, but people were wary of her and rarely took the initiative to interact with her.

The sad thing was, now that she thought about it, her only allies in Slytherin were Emily, Reyna, Severus, and the Rosiers—it was a tentative maybe for Regulus.

This was not acceptable. Zinnia was absolute shit at making new friends, but she needed allies. And she was in sore need of connections. Her lack of social skills and status as a Muggleborn was definitely _not_ helping.

A loud bout of laughter rang through the room, and Zinnia twisted in her spot on the couch near the fireplace to scowl at Arin, who was, as usual, surrounded by people. He was lazily sprawled out on an armchair near the corner of the room facing the window to the Great Lake.

Water lapped at the windows, a soothing undertone for the story that Arin was currently telling. As he told a particularly funny joke, the students around him burst into laughter again, making the normally peaceful room explode into noise, and Zinnia slammed her Potions textbook shut, irritated. She roughly shoved her papers and books into her bag at her feet and decided to head to the library, where Lily and Severus probably were.

As she stood abruptly, Arin's eyes briefly met hers, and he gave her a curious look, which she promptly ignored, and stalked out of the room.

Although she told herself she was only so annoyed because she couldn't study with all the noise, she knew that she was jealous. Jealous of the way that Arin seamlessly integrated himself into any groups of people; his enigmatic charisma drawing people to him left and right. He was nothing like Zinnia, and she suspected he had many more connections than she knew about.

Quickening her pace, she was just about to turn the corner when she was faced with Remus Lupin. Again. He was, of course, surrounded by his friends. Zinnia pushed down the instinctive urge to grimace and instead tried to get out of the situation civilly.

 _Baby steps, right?_ She told herself sarcastically.

"You're looking better than you did last time." She noted politely. The full moon had long since passed, and Lupin's skin had lost its sickly, pallid color.

Lupin moved from foot to foot nervously. "Yeah. It was a nasty cold, but I'm better now." The tension around them was stifling and Zinnia could feel the strain in their pleasantries. Zinnia's eyes drifted to the parchment that Potter was clutching, as she answered, almost distractedly, "Glad to see you're feeling better."

Out of all the Marauders, the one that Zinnia could come closest to holding a cordial conversation with was Lupin. That didn't change the fact that he was a _Marauder_ , but he wasn't obnoxious or aggressive, and Zinnia found his presence rather calming, on the contrary.

His eyebrows lifted in surprise at her courteous response—it was probably the last thing he'd been expecting from her, of all people. Her attitude with the Marauders wasn't exactly charming or friendly. "Thanks." He answered hesitantly.

Zinnia's eyes were still stuck to the parchment, and she strained to read the tiny print. But she caught a few of the letters and instantly knew that it was the Marauder's Map. She was just about to ask Lupin what it was but was struck with the sudden thought that it was probably useless at the moment.

The Marauders were still third years, which meant that they still had another four years to figure out all of the castle's nooks and crannies. And that meant that the Map was still in progress, because there was no way they could have charted all of the secret passageways within the span of three years. She'd have to find another way.

She lifted her eyes away to meet the glares of Potter and Black. (She ignored Pettigrew, filing him away—at this time, he was still harmless, if not, annoying.) Lupin was still staring awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say. Zinnia gave Lupin a polite nod, which he returned; completely disregarded the other three boys, and went on her way.

"Rude!" She could her Potter exclaim, and it didn't bother Zinnia in the slightest. It wasn't as if she didn't know she was rude. It was just a trait of hers that she'd have to fix if she ever wanted to partake in diplomatic meetings.

The library was filled with students, as it always was, and Zinnia lingered near the front, scanning the room for any open seats. She spotted Severus and Lily in the far corner and was just about to head over to them when she heard someone call out her name.

"Zinnia! Over here!" She turned to see Emily waving at her, quill still in hand. Reyna was by her side, and raised her eyebrow as an unspoken invitation. Zinnia gave them both a half-nod to acknowledge that she'd heard and seen them, but her gaze shifted back to Lily and Severus.

She was torn. A part of her, the part that still clung to family and familiarity pulled her, dragging her in the direction of her sister and her oldest friend. But there was another part of her, a part that felt independent and new; a part that liked spending time with Emily and Reyna, even though she had known them for a shorter amount of time.

Zinnia stood motionless for a few seconds, still unsure of what to do. Finally, her feet moved, taking her in the direction of Emily and Reyna. Guilt peppered her with every step, and she tried to comfort herself with the knowledge that neither Lily nor Severus had noticed her presence, so they wouldn't know she'd chosen her friends over them.

(But, as she would find out later, this was merely the first of many schisms to come.)

"Hey." She greeted awkwardly, still overcome with guilt about her decision.

Emily let out a warm grin. "Hey, Zin. Common room too noisy?" Zinnia felt her heart twist with the use of her nickname—it had been something private, personal. Something that only Lily used. But it was different now—Lily wasn't the only one anymore.

"I bet it's Arin and his friends again." Reyna commented loudly, though she had no disdain in her voice. It was something more akin to admiration.

"Yeah." Zinnia affirmed both questions and sighed emphatically to show her annoyance. "It's _always_ loud when Arin's there." She tried to keep her voice exasperated but a hint of jealousy bled through.

"Awww," teased Emily, her brown eyes sparkling, "are you jealous?"

"What." Zinnia stated bluntly, trying to avoid the fact that Emily was right, "Why would I be jealous?"

Laughing gently, Emily slung an arm around Zinnia's shoulders, ignoring the way Zinnia tensed. It'd been so long, but she still wasn't used to people touching her so casually, in such an affectionate way. "Don't you deny it. You're pretty lonely sometimes."

Reyna smirked. "Good thing you have the two of us. I don't know where you'd be without us."

"Oh, shut up." Zinnia snapped, but it was without heat. She realized, all of a sudden, in a strange moment of clarity, that she'd been progressively spending less time with Lily. She was in the same House as Severus, so they talked often, but she never really got to spend quality time with Lily except in the Room of Requirement. And their meetings had gone from every day to once every week.

At first, it had been unavoidable events, but it had slowly turned into rushing off to meet with other friends instead of spending time with each other.

(It was hard to believe that this had become normal for them, that they had drifted away away

Especially Lily. Lily was always with Marlene, Dorcas, and Alice now. Severus had even told her that the girls had their own name for their little group. And it hurt.

She, Lily, and Petunia had always been the Evans sisters. They always would be. But now they were more than that. They were other people's friends, in other Houses. It was achingly, dizzyingly _different_.

Fear gripped her heart. Lily was leaving her behind. She was leaving her behind in a bright blaze, dust lingering in her wake. And Zinnia was left alone, in all that lonely, ugly, dust.

Zinnia felt a sudden urge to go over to where Lily and Severus were sitting and spend the rest of her day with them.

(She didn't want to be left behind.

[ _Don't leave me alone._

 _Don't._ ])

A hand snapped in front of her eyes. "Oi. You okay?"

Zinnia blinked to see Reyna staring at her, brows furrowed with concern. Emily's arm was still slung over her shoulder, solid and warm. A tiny sun bloomed in Zinnia's stomach, but it was soon swallowed by all the twisting unease. "Yeah. Sorry, it's nothing. Just spaced out for a moment."

 _Focus._ She mentally slapped herself, _don't forget what you need. s._

"Hey," She said suddenly, breaking the odd silence that had descended on their table, "Is there a book on secret passages in Hogwarts or something?"

Emily glanced at her. "Why the sudden interest?"

Zinnia shrugged easily, openly. "Nothing, I just randomly thought of it. I mean, Hogwarts is such an old and powerful castle. It's bound to have secrets, right?"

Emily removed her arm from Zinnia's shoulders to straighten out her homework. "If there were books like that, they'd probably be in the Restricted Section." "I don't think many people know about the passages." Added Reyna, "They're all warded and disguised and it'd take a crapload of time to figure it all out."

Damn it. She couldn't exactly break into the Section, and she'd need a teacher's permission if she wanted to get in.

And from the sounds of it, Emily and Reyna didn't know much about secret passages. It wasn't surprising, really. They were only second years, and hardly needed to get out of the castle unnoticed.

"Hm." Zinnia gave a thoughtful hum of agreement. "So how do you answer number six for the Transfiguration homework?" She successfully diverted the conversation, leaving the topic forgotten.

After finishing all their homework and chatting for a while, Zinnia left Emily and Reyna to find someone who'd know about secret passages in Hogwarts.

If there was anyone who'd know about them, it'd be Arin. She'd just have to wheedle it out of him—she couldn't have him getting _too_ suspicious, after all.

She entered the Common Room and spotted Arin reading a book in the same spot he'd been in earlier, except there weren't any people surrounding him this time. She was just about to walk over to him when she nearly tripped over someone's leg.

Glowering angrily, she recovered from her small stumble and looked for the assailant. To her surprise she was met with the nervous gaze of Jonathan King. His legs were outstretched in a casual position on the floor and he held a book in his lap.

"Sorry." He murmured, glancing away.

"It's fine." Zinnia answered coolly, mentally noting that King was sitting at an angle that allowed him a direct view of Arin. "Busy reading?" She gestured towards his book.

"Uh—" He flushed darkly, adding to Zinnia's suspicions, "Yeah."

"What's it about?" She forced a note of innocent curiosity into her voice.

"Uh," Started King, glancing quickly down at the open pages in his lap, "Arithmancy."

"Wow, really?" Zinnia feigned interest, "I love Arithmancy. What theory are you reading about?"

King flushed again, but probably out of embarrassment this time. "I—" He tried to discreetly scan the pages of his book but found it futile and looked back up, not daring to look Zinnia in the eye. "I forgot."

"Oh. That's okay." She gave him a small wave, deciding to leave him alone, now that her suspicions were confirmed. "See you around."

"See you." King mumbled, nearly inaudibly, and dropped his head toward his book, effectively hiding his face.

When she settled down near Arin, he spoke without looking up from his book. "I see you're busy bothering Jonathan King."

Zinnia rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't be such an arse. I wasn't _bothering_ him. I was just being friendly."

Arin finally looked up, his eyes sharp and focused. "Friendly my arse." He snorted. "I know what you're doing, and you should stop. It's just a temporary infatuation. He'll get over it."

Zinnia fixed him with a withering stare. "If you say so." She shifted her gaze, only to see King staring at them. "See? He's staring again."

"Zinnia Evans." Arin stated exasperatedly, carefully enunciating each syllable.

"Okay, okay." Zinnia decided to let it go, releasing Arin from her teasing for the day.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Arin folded his arms over his chest, his tone cautious. There was typically a sharpness to Arin, like that of the blade of a knife, thin and deadly. But today, he looked weary. Or perhaps he was starting to look more and more weary.

It was unsettling, because he looked like he was tired of the world. Like Zinnia was. An unbidden stab of pity pierced her, and she suddenly felt the whole difference in their ages with a blinding precision.

Arin was a child. A teenager, but too young to be an adult. Too young for the shit the world was dumping on him. And Zinnia was an adult. She could not stop the heavy sorrow that filled her, because it was one more person scarred, one more person burdened with weights that should never be carried.

The words burst out of her like water pouring out of a dam. "I'm sorry." It was quiet and fierce. Heavy with understanding.

Arin blinked with surprise. "What for?"

"Nothing." Zinnia shrugged, "I just wanted to say it."

"Okay?" Arin's brows knit together and he paused. "Thanks." The word was solemn and old.

Zinnia quickly cast a _Silencio_ under her breath, signaling that the conversation was going to be private. Arin shifted slightly so that no onlookers could read his lips. The room was mostly empty, with a few people scattered around, but it couldn't hurt to be careful.

"Does Evan know that you're a Death Eater?" She asked bluntly.

Instantly, Arin looked alarmed. "What? Did he say anything?" He asked urgently.

"So I take it it's a no?" Arin glared at her in response. Zinnia snorted. "No need to get your knickers in a twist, I was just wondering."

There was a small silence of incredulity before Arin asked slowly, "You came all the way over here just to ask me that? And I don't even _have_ knickers."

"Of course not." Zinnia gave him a flat look and continued. "Are you going to hide it from him?"

For the first time, Arin looked uncertain. "I don't know." His voice was quiet, lacking his usual confidence. Arin was a confident person. He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it. But when it came to his brother, he was a whole different person. Zinnia wondered if this was how she seemed to others when it came to Lily. "I want to protect him, but eventually, he'll figure it out. And he'll hate me for not telling him."

"Yeah." Zinnia agreed softly. "That's how I feel about Lily."

Arin looked down at his hands. Zinnia sat silently, unsure of whether or not she should comfort him. Slowly, she placed a hand on his back, offering him strength and support.

His back was broad and strong, but his form was small and vulnerable. It was so strange that Zinnia didn't know what to do but sit there with her hand on his back.

"You know," Arin said after a while, almost sardonically, "this is the first time you've initiated touch with me." Zinnia scowled and made to move her hand back, but Arin's next words stopped her. "Thank you. It means a lot to me."

At first, it seemed silly—it was just a simple touch, a hand against a back. But then she remembered that Arin, despite his outward appearance, was lonely. Just like her. No one understood his predicament and he struggled with it alone. Just having someone showing comfort was probably a huge relief for him. So Zinnia didn't move her hand away, no matter how uncomfortable she felt. She wasn't a touchy person, but sometimes it was worth it to offer physical contact to others.

(She remembered, distantly, the feeling of Lily's small, bony arms around her whenever she had a nightmare. The childish, wet smack of lips against cheek. _It's ok, Zin. There's nothing here._

…

 _[Don't leave me behind_ ])

"How did you know I was a Death Eater anyway?" Arin finally looked up at her, his gaze once again sharp and unwavering. He was back to Arin. Not Arin, older brother of Evan, but just Arin.

Zinnia removed her hand. "I told you, I just put the clues together."

"Fine." Arin's expression was a bit disgruntled and vindictive. "You know I'll figure it out anyway."

Zinnia frowned. That was exactly what she was afraid of. She changed the subject, not wanting to linger on it for too long. "So how will you get out of the castle when Voldemort calls for meetings?"

Her blatant usage of Voldemort's name was still a source of discomfort for Arin, but he easily brushed it off. "I'll use one of the passageways." At Zinnia's raised eyebrows, he added, "And it won't alert any of the teachers. Don't worry. It's completely fool proof."

Bingo. Zinnia had to smother the triumphant smirk threatening to emerge. "What passageway is it?" She tried to keep her voice emotionless, faintly disinterested.

Thankfully, Arin didn't notice. "You know Barnabas the Barmy on the 7th floor?" Zinnia nodded. "It's there."

"How do you open it?" Zinnia asked, when he didn't elaborate.

Arin's eyes narrowed. "Why do you want to know?"

"What if I need to contact you and you're at a meeting?" Zinnia knew it was a shit excuse, but she couldn't think of any other one on the spot. "Or what if Evan needs help and you're not there?" She used his one weak spot against him.

Shaking his head, Arin considered her. "You're tricky, you know that?"

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be in Slytherin."

"You have to push the foot of the giant on the left and the tile directly below the foot will loosen. Just lift up the tile." He grudgingly offered her the information.

Zinnia was impressed. "How do you know this?"

"Connections." Arin answered vaguely, hinting that he wasn't going to reveal anything more. Giving out information in Slytherin was dangerous. Though she and Arin were allies, they both had their own secrets, and that wasn't enough for the kind of trust that was between best friends.

"Don't come looking for me though." He warned, "Just meet me at the side of the forest next to Hogsmeade. The passageway lets out near there."

"Of course." Zinnia said easily, knowing that it would be too dangerous to meet any Death Eaters or Voldemort at this point.

Arin lifted the book in his hands. "So what to work on some Runes?" He gave her a grin, letting her know that they were moving onto different, lighter subjects. Zinnia wasn't bothered—she didn't know how to help Arin anyway, and she had gotten what she had been looking for. "Sure."

It was sad, but Zinnia was honestly lost when it came to Arin. She knew he felt uncomfortable that Zinnia knew his secret—and therefore could use it against him—but he also trusted her as a friend and ally. Arin was as always, an enigma. He was probably feeling unimaginable pressure, trying to juggle his sixth year as well as the responsibilities of his position as a Rosier and as a Death Eater. But Zinnia was never good at acting the psychologist, and she right now, all she knew how to do was let Arin deal with his own problems. If he ever needed help, he'd ask. Hopefully.

She had briefly entertained the idea of telling him about the Horcruxes, but ultimately decided against it. Even if telling him would help them build up trust as well as gaining an extra person as help, it was too risky. The less people knew about it, the better. For now, at least. Telling Arin was too risky—if Voldemort ever used Legilimency on him, the both of them would be caught and killed.

And that raised another issue—she needed to learn Legilimency and Occlumency as soon as she could. She'd have to ask Severus for help.

Well, all that would come at a later time. For now, she had a way out of the castle undetected, and that was the first step of many to come.

* * *

Severus lounged about with Lily by the Great Lake, enjoying the feeling of the sun against his face and Lily's familiar, enjoyable company.

"Have you spoken to Zinnia recently?" He asked Lily, leaning back on his hands. Lily stopped rummaging through her bag. Her legs were outstretched, bare toes brushing the lush grass. "No, why?"

Sometimes, Severus felt that he and Zinnia were becoming increasingly distant from Lily. It was a horrible feeling, and he was doing everything in his power to rectify it. Zinnia, however, hadn't seemed to notice, and neither had Lily. It was strange, to have two out of three, but at the same time, he liked having Lily's company all for himself.

Granted, he still felt that there was something missing, and though he'd never admit it, he found himself waiting for Zinnia's sarcastic and dry remarks, only to hear nothing.

But he liked having Lily there by his side, just the two of them. He liked it _too_ much. So he kept quiet and stopped telling Zinnia to meet him somewhere with Lily.

"She's become quite... chummy with Arin Rosier recently. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing."

Lily's eyes lit up, emerald green shining so brightly that Severus couldn't bring himself to look away. "Ooooh!" She squealed, "Looks like she's got a crush."

Severus felt his face twist with confusion and disgust. "Really? Zinnia? There's no way."

Lily rolled her eyes affectionately, punching his shoulder lightly. "Oh Sev, you poor boy. You just don't know the workings of the female heart."

"I'm pretty sure Zinnia's heart is more stone than female." He snorted wryly.

" _Sev_." Lily cast him a scolding look, but it was without anger. "Tell me more! I've heard of Arin Rosier and I've seen him a few times, but it was only a glance. What's he like? How does Zin act around him? How does he act around Zin? Sev!" She fired off questions animatedly.

"I don't know." Severus answered, trying to come up with what to say. "He's a sixth year. And he's pretty friendly with Zinnia, I guess."

"Are you serious?" Lily's voice was nearly a shriek. "That's barely anything! What does he look like? Is he nice? Is he handsome? Is he smart? Does Zin ever blush around him? Have you seen her blush? Does he treat her nicely? C'mon!"

Severus could barely keep up with the flow of words, and he stared at Lily, transfixed. The sun caressed her hair, coloring it fire and gold: erupting volcanoes and blooming carnations, red fireworks shattering the night sky, distant yet expansive sunsets swallowing the world; something and everything. She was everything.

And Severus thought, at that moment, that he might be in love.

"So?" Lily's bright, excited voice interrupted his reverie, and he blinked, the moment broken.

"Uh." He struggled to pull himself back to the conversation. "Well, he's popular, I suppose. A lot of people like him, so that has to count for something. And according to the Slytherin girls, he's very handsome. Zin gets along well with him—they study runes together a lot." He stumbled awkwardly when trying to describe Arin's looks—it was a bit weird to talk about how handsome another boy was.

(Sometimes, Severus wished he were handsome enough to make Lily turn her head and _look at him_. See him as more than a best friend, a brother.

But those thoughts were buried deep, and far, far away. Deep enough so that it wouldn't ruin their friendship.)

Lily's lips melted into a wide grin. "She _does_ have a crush on him! Why else would she bother spending so much time with him? I'm glad; he sounds like a nice guy. Maybe I should meet him to see what kind of person he is. I don't want Zin getting hurt. He _is_ a bit older than her, after all."

Severus' eyes were still locked on her face—( _those freckles, splattered across her face like stars; those soft, pink lips; those bright, bright eyes)_ —and he tore his gaze away in order to focus on his thoughts.

"Yeah." He agreed distractedly, "He's graduating next year. I've spoken to him a few times and he's not that bad. I don't think he'll purposely hurt Zinnia."

"Good." Lily said fiercely. "I still want to meet him though."

A slight breeze tousled Lily's hair and Severus opened his mouth to say more, only to stop when he felt a shadow fall over him. He looked up and saw James Fucking Potter looking down at him with a condescending expression.

"Enjoying the afternoon, Snivellus?" Potter mocked, a cruel light dancing in his eyes.

Sirius Black smirked savagely. "He's probably incapable of enjoying anything. Just look at that face!" The two of them burst into harsh, grating laughter.

Lily leapt to her feet. "Go away!" She snarled, looking like a goddess of vengeance. She was the blazing flames of a wildfire, destroying everything in her path.

"C'mon Evans, stay out of it." Potter warned her, but he had taken on an amiable tone.

"I _will not_!" Lily snapped, "I'm not going to just stand by when you bully Sev!"

Lupin shifted uncomfortably in the background but didn't say anything.

Black lifted his wand and Lily immediately moved forward, trying to help Severus, but everything happened to quickly and had the misfortune of happening at the wrong times, and Black accidentally shoved Lily into the ground. His eyes widened and he immediately apologized, but Severus saw red.

" _Engorgio Skullus_." He hissed, a jet of green shooting out from his wand. Potter dodged it by a hair and returned fire with one of his own hexes, which Severus swiftly blocked with a simple _Protego_.

Black came up on his right, shooting a spell just as Severus shot out two in succession towards Potter. The spell singed the edge of his robe as he used his entire body to avoid it. Potter jumped back with a yelp, hit by one of the Stinging jinxes before his eyes narrowed and he prepared to exact revenge.

Just as Severus finished distracting Black with another spell and was just about to face Potter, someone cast a powerful shield charm around Severus and another spell shot out and knocked Potter back a few feet.

Panting for breath, Severus gathered himself and dusted off his robes. Arin Rosier strode forward, still holding out his wand. "Ten points from Slytherin and Gryffindor for fighting." He said coolly, his face stony and intimidating. The prefect badge on his chest glinted in the sun.

Potter and Black scowled but didn't protest, as the point deduction had been fair on both sides. Lupin ushered them away before they could do or say anything else, and Pettigrew followed behind them.

Remembering what had happened, Severus turned his head to look for Lily. She was now standing with her shoes on and had moved next to Zinnia. Severus frowned. When had Zinnia gotten here? He strode over to the Evans sisters. "Are you okay?" He addressed Lily.

(A really big part of him was hoping—though it was unlikely—that Lily had noticed his skill in the fight and was impressed by it.)

Instead of answering, Lily sighed exasperatedly. "Why do you have to get into a fight with them _every time_?"

"They knocked you over!" Griped Severus, disgruntled by her lack of a positive response.

"Your robe's burned." Zinnia noted unhelpfully. Severus scowled and muttered a spell under his breath to fix it.

Arin was now standing in front of them. "Thanks." Severus told him, albeit a bit crabby that Arin had interrupted a fight that Severus had _clearly_ been winning.

"You're welcome." Arin looked amused, as if he knew what Severus was thinking. "So, everyone okay?"

Lily and Severus nodded collectively. "That was a nice shot, by the way." He told Zinnia, referring to the spell that had knocked over James. Since Arin had been the one to cast the shield charm, it left Zinnia with the offensive one.

Zinnia smirked in reply.

The group stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to say, but Lily broke the silence.

"Hi! Thanks for that." Lily gave Arin a friendly smile. "I'm Lily, Zin's sister." At the nickname, Arin looked over Lily's head and raised an amused eyebrow at Zinnia. Zinnia never let anyone call her by a nickname.

Zinnia gave him a glare that was equivalent to _I will fucking cut you_. Arin smothered a laugh and moved his gaze back to Lily. "No problem. It's nice to meet you. I'm Arin Rosier." Lily stuck her hand out for a handshake but Arin took it and bowed slightly, smoothly kissing the back of her hand. Lily's face erupted into a fiery blush and Severus a surge of jealousy like a tidal wave.

"Smooth bastard." Muttered Zinnia, but it was more fond than scathing. Severus glanced at her, horrified. Maybe she _did_ have a crush on Arin after all.

Arin, upon hearing her words, flashed her a wink. "You know it."

Zinnia glared. "I've got a wand and at least three different hexes I've been simply _dying_ to try out." She threatened, not so subtly telling him to lay off.

"Whatever you say, shortstuff." He gave her a shiteating grin.

Zinnia, with the reflexes of a girl on a rampage, shot a tongue-tying hex at him; one that he barely dodged. Severus rolled his eyes at their antics but found himself worrying more and more that Lily was right about Zinnia having a crush on Arin.

They had a sort of ease around each other, but at the same time, it was tinged with some sort of tension. Severus didn't know where that tension came from, but he knew the two shared some sort of secret. That was the only thing that created that kind of atmosphere.

The only people Zinnia was comfortable around were Lily and himself, and possibly Emily and Reyna. So her relaxed, almost playful (but not really) demeanor around Arin was slightly alarming.

Arin laughed easily and turned to chat with Lily. "So what classes are you taking?"

Their conversation drifted further as the two walked ahead, with Severus and Zinnia lingering behind.

Severus stared longingly after Lily's back, watching the mesmerizing sway of Lily's hair.

When he finally looked away, he was met with Zinnia's mildly amused face. His eyes widened at being caught staring.

Zinnia let out a mirthful breath. "Don't worry, I already know about your crush on Lily."

Severus felt glued to the spot and he gaped. " _What._ "

"You're really bad at keeping your feelings hidden when it comes to Lily. I'm surprised half the world doesn't know." She told him dryly.

"Oh _Merlin_." Severus groaned, completely forgetting that he was going to grill Zinnia about her crush on Arin. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Yes." Zinnia answered decisively. "Good thing Lil's too dense to notice. Well, at least when it comes to herself." She amended.

" _Merlin_." Severus bemoaned again, looking positively miserable. "I bet Potter knows." He spat out Potter's name like a bad word.

"Probably." Zinnia admitted, "But I'm not sure."

Upon seeing Severus' dejected and embarrassed face, she offered him a light slap on the back. "Cheer up. At least Lily doesn't know. And it's better you than Potter, right?"

Severus straightened at this. "Yeah."

"See?" With another pat on the back, Zinnia began to walk faster to meet up with Arin and Lily, who were paused a few feet away and waiting for Zinnia and Severus to catch up.

It was a desperate, frightened thought, but Severus couldn't help but wonder what would become of his crush.

* * *

 **A/N: Severus, welcome to the world of hormones. Heh. I know it sounds overly dramatic, but this kid's pretty much liked her since they were kids and well, he's a fourteen year old guy with a hopeless crush. I'll take my chances.**

 **Also, I repeat, Zinnia does NOT have a crush on Arin. It's just Lily being Lily and Severus being paranoid. I see them as having more friendly and sibling-like interactions right now.**

 **James and Sirius are also still jerks at this point to Severus, but they're nice people deep, deep down, really. Severus just brings out the worst in them. They pretty much started hassling Severus because they were bored (and James probably wanted to impress Lily).**

 **This was a buildup chapter, so expect actual action next chapter. And Regulus.**

 **Thank you so, so much to everyone who favorited and followed! And thank you to fatesmask, PrincessBlonde, Fukatsuki, Amequa, Goldspark1, UniCryin, Tamani, bookcoda, LyraxSlytherin, lizy2000, alia00, Black Eclipsed Soul, Guest (1), Himeno Kazehito, TheFoolishDreamer, inari, misherukuro, Andy the willow tree, Doragon no Namida, Gal, KyuubiNoPuma, WhispersOfWings, Nostalgic Beauty, Spica75, nerderlyne, SunshineBubbles, poohdah7340, A simple reader, omnipotent Porunga, SimplyLokajad, Guest (2), Ryohei S., Guest (3), , Marie, NatNicole, moon so bright, Guest (4), trynmailme, and gr8rockstarrox for reviewing!**

* * *

 **Replies to guest reviews:**

 **Goldspark1:**

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing as usual!**

 **As for Lily and the Marauders, you'll definitely be seeing more of them in the future. The chapter named Interlude: Lily and James (not really) was more of a drabble about future years, so everything will be elaborated on in later chapters. And Lily** _ **does**_ **end up with James in this fic (unless I get a really, really good reason for her not to), so I'll definitely be detailing out that process. Haha, yeah, I like the drama too.**

 **Remus is definitely going to have more interactions with the Evans; he's honestly the most tolerable one at this point.**

 **Hmm, that battle sounds really interesting, but I don't see it happening any time soon. I'll definitely keep it in mind for later chapters though! They'll be interacting more as the years pass, so it'll make more sense then.**

 **Ah, thanks so much for pointing out that mistake! I'll go back and fix it when I have the time. :)**

 **Guest (1):**

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you like it. :)**

 **inari:**

 **Haha, well, I actually meant that in a big brother kind of way, but you can interpret it any way you want. Ship whatever you like. :)**

 **Gal:**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing! I definitely won't give up on the story.**

 **A simple reader:**

 **Thanks so much for pointing that out! I totally forgot about that, whoops. Actually, was that the closet that Draco moved into Hogwarts? I'm a bit hazy on the details.**

 **Guest (2):**

 **Thank you so much for the encouraging words! I won't give up on the story for sure.**

 **Guest (3):**

 **Well, the chapter** _ **is**_ **pretty much a series of bad jokes and slapstick comedy. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Andy the Willow:**

 **Haha, no worries, I always get too lazy to log in too. I'm glad you liked the puns! And thanks so much for the kind words.**

 **Marie:**

 **Thank you! I'm glad you like it. Though I'm sorry that it wrecked your productivity! I always procrastinate with fanfiction too, tbh.**

 **Guest (4):**

 **Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :)**


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